Average Bear posted:

Nice find Snake! It may not look like much, but that yuppie crap sells for a lot on the black market. Get more of those, and we can bring in airdrops from your iDroid.

FactsAreUseless posted:

Snake, have you ever read Lord of the Flies?

Lord of the Flies?

It's a book, Snake. Written in 1954 by William Golding. It won the Nobel Prize for Literature.

The Nobel Prize...!

That's right, Snake. It's about boys trapped on an island. One of them is an asthmatic. Things end badly for him, Snake.

Asthmatic?

Snake... try not to use your cigarettes.

Black Baby Goku posted:

Colonel: Actually, I am in really bad shape financially. I paid 12,000 dollars to this festival in the Bahamas...among other bills... I just had no choice but to make you a cheese sandwich for lunch the other day. I'm really sorry.

Black Baby Goku posted:

[pilot on the runway trying to take off from the festival grounds] No! I Can't Do it!

Pablo Gigante posted:

Average Bear posted:

In Training posted:

[Punished Snakes tightens the knot of his bandana]

Pablo Gigante posted:

PROTIP: If you set the system clock forward one week, all the festival attendees will have died.

Lumpy the Cook posted:

Goldmine

In Training posted:

[Ja Rule wakes with a heavy headache and a sinking realization that Eva absconded with the Philospher's Legacy and he has to cancel the musical acts, catering and hotel services]

FactsAreUseless posted:

Boss, that's a refugee tent. Not sure what it's doing at the festival though.

Boss, those lights are normally used to illuminate the stage. Doesn't look like anyone will be playing, though.

Boss, those are wild dogs. They usually stay far away from people. I don't know what they're doing this close to the festival.

Boss, that's a security guard. A festival normally has more of them. Something's up. Stay alert.

Great find, Boss. Those are some wilted-rear end spring greens. They're not edible, but we can make them into medicine.

Boss, that's the CEO of a tech startup with severe social anxiety and major body-image issues, for which he overcompensates with conspicuous consumption. Are you sure you want to bring him back to base?

Pablo Gigante posted:

Ja Rules of Nature

Control Volume posted:

code:

       Classified Intel Acquisition

TIME:                    20:32:17.182  (12275)
SECURITY GUARD ALERTS               2  ( -600)
KILLS                               0  ( 2000)
PRISONERS RESCUED                   1  ( 3500)
LAPTOPS LOST                        1  (-3000)
RETRIES                             0  ( 3000)
NO REFLEX                              ( 6000)
CLASSIFIED INTEL RECOVERED                3000

SCORE                                    23175
                      RANK      C