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some of the worst times to yell out gently caress would be -you stubbed your toe, but your baby is sleeping -you hit your thumb with a hammer, but your toddler is taking a nap -you fell down the stairs but your child is trying to get a night's sleep before the first day of kindergarten -you got your hand stuck in the garbage disposal but your teenager fell asleep at the kitchen table studying for the SATs -you are t-boned by a drunk driver at an intersection while your kid who you just picked up from the airport after a year studying abroad in europe is passed out in the back seat -you fall off the balcony of your hotel room after having a little too much to drink at your only child's wedding and they are asleep with their new spouse in the room below as you fall past -you are hit by a massive cardiac incident while lying in your hospital bed and your loving attentive child, who has been by your side day and night ever since the terminal diagnosis is slumped over in the chair next to you trying to get a few hours of shuteye |
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Apr 30, 2017 07:34
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jumping out of a plane and your baby is trying to sleep in the car seat jump attachment
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Apr 30, 2017 07:37
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the murderer is in the house, you've shot all your rounds including your backup magazine and missed, and your four year old just fell asleep |
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Apr 30, 2017 07:41
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You bit your tongue while you're naked in bed with someone you really don't want to have sex with but they have to be next to someone naked in order to fall asleep and they're a really good friend so you agreed to do it, and they just asked "what would you like to do right now?"
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Apr 30, 2017 07:51
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A villain who is also a good host is about to kill you and you spill your glass of orange juice right after he says "any last words?" |
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Apr 30, 2017 09:18
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when the pope just asked what blessing you want |
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Apr 30, 2017 09:19
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When you're the manager of a daycare and you drop coffee into your lap during naptime and also all the parents are there for some reason, possibly because you're explaining why you charge premium prices because the daycare is very calm and morally wholesome? I lost focus a bit at the end there, gently caress!
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Apr 30, 2017 09:40
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When you're a DJ for the most popular nationwide toddlers' bedtime songs FM radio station
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Apr 30, 2017 09:49
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Also I want to be clear that, in my previously-posted platonic naked cuddling scenario, the room is just packed floor to ceiling with infants
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Apr 30, 2017 09:50
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when your wife is giving birth and the nurse says 'It's a girl!' |
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Apr 30, 2017 09:57
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TOOT BOOT posted:when your wife is giving birth and the nurse says 'It's a girl!' Unless the newly-spawned human is trying to sleep, this is bullshit ---------------- |
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Apr 30, 2017 10:00
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- Your child asks you what sex is - Your child asks you if you love them - Your child told you they are starting a small company called Microsoft and they need a small loan to get it going, and is named Bill Gates |
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Apr 30, 2017 10:01
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I'm going to assume you forgot to add "and is trying to go to sleep" to the end of all of those.
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Apr 30, 2017 10:20
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Oh yeah, my mistake. |
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Apr 30, 2017 10:48
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When you're in charge of the firing squad and you say "Ready, aim..." and THEN someone says "gently caress!"
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Apr 30, 2017 13:35
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You're eating breakfast with your in laws and you realize you just watched the last episode of firefly and there is not intention of ever making more. Also, your baby is trying to sleep next to you.
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Apr 30, 2017 13:40
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When a wasp gets into your work outfit but then you remember you're the guy who plays Barney
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Apr 30, 2017 13:45
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| When you're trying fit in with byob | |
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Apr 30, 2017 14:10
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who among us has not been holding a bullhorn aimed directly at the ears of a teeny tiny sleeping infant, it's such a common occurrence you'd think you could let down your guard every so often . . . well guess what buster
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Apr 30, 2017 14:51
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When you're playing Wheel of Fortune and the answer is clearly longer than four letters. |
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Apr 30, 2017 14:58
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BoldFrankensteinMir posted:When you're playing Wheel of Fortune and the answer is clearly longer than four letters. likewise, if you are on jeopardy! and the answer actually is "gently caress," you really need to phrase it as a question |
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Apr 30, 2017 15:08
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Manifisto posted:likewise, if you are on jeopardy! and the answer actually is "gently caress," you really need to phrase it as a question Also hang-man, which is basically wheel of fortune with dead cowboys, and pictionary, unless of course the person is just drawing pornographic scene after scene. |
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Apr 30, 2017 15:11
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Someones first day in prison, in the communal shower bending over to pick up the soap, and getting angry that they dropped it.
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Apr 30, 2017 15:40
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At a wedding, right after the person performing the ceremonies asks "If anyone objects to this marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace".
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Apr 30, 2017 15:51
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Walking in to a busy restaurant and being asked for a name for the wait for the next available table. "gently caress! party of four? gently caress! party of four?"
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Apr 30, 2017 16:09
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at the improv theater and no one is suggesting a scene
paul_soccer12 posted:everyone in the idf must die |
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Apr 30, 2017 16:11
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If someone puts a hit out on you and the assassin is trying to find you and they're standing right there behind you and their name is "PhuK Hyu"
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Apr 30, 2017 16:50
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when ur clueless dad asks you what the kids these days are into
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Apr 30, 2017 16:54
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mister magpie posted:at the improv theater and no one is suggesting a scene excuse me friend, this is the "worst times to yell 'gently caress'" thread. The "best times to yell 'gently caress'" thread is thataway
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Apr 30, 2017 16:58
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Manifisto posted:excuse me friend, this is the "worst times to yell 'gently caress'" thread. The "best times to yell 'gently caress'" thread is thataway have you been to an improv show? paul_soccer12 posted:everyone in the idf must die |
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Apr 30, 2017 17:09
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mister magpie posted:have you been to an improv show? enough that I can think of literally dozens of unfunny sketches where I'd rather have just watched people loving |
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Apr 30, 2017 17:25
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Manifisto posted:enough that I can think of literally dozens of unfunny sketches where I'd rather have just watched people loving in a room, with a bunch of strangers. ok paul_soccer12 posted:everyone in the idf must die |
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Apr 30, 2017 17:31
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Manifisto posted:enough that I can think of literally dozens of unfunny sketches where I'd rather have just watched people loving Improv Comic: Alright, I'm gonna need a situation that's sort of awkward and uncomfortable! Crowd: PEOPLE loving! Improv Comic *shaking fist*: Dang it, BYOB! Stagehand: gently caress! https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Apr 30, 2017 17:44
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i have decided not to kinkshame manifisto good luck finding your gently caress improv friend paul_soccer12 posted:everyone in the idf must die |
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Apr 30, 2017 17:47
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mister magpie posted:good luck finding your gently caress improv friend  ty, a yobber can dream(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST) |
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Apr 30, 2017 17:52
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The worst time to yell gently caress? *lights a cigarette, takes a long drag* I'll tell you the worst time to yell gently caress... When you're hiding under your lover's bed handcuffed with your arms behind your back and her husband comes home and sits on the sagging mattress right onto your back... And you've got a ball gag in your mouth https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Apr 30, 2017 17:59
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When you're a biology teacher covering Sex Education in a school that only endorses the abstinence method.
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Apr 30, 2017 18:45
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Splatmaster posted:And you've got a ball gag in your mouth Grossss man that's been on my balls. |
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Apr 30, 2017 18:50
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Fredflonston posted:Grossss man that's been on my balls. gently caress! https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Apr 30, 2017 18:56
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When you meant to yell "poo poo"
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Apr 30, 2017 19:09
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