N. Senada posted:

I present to you

'

Man Lounging at Beach next to Atlantic Ocean in January

See how the model's pose invokes The Creation of Adam, the famous fresco by Micheal the Angel--O.

But, we notice slight subversion that transforms this homage into satire! Notice the alcohol gut which rests ever so gently over the groin, as if to say "Adam's perfect six-pack can suck it." Rather than head tilted demurely downward, the model's head rises confidently facing the right of the picture. A firmness that indicates strength, perhaps, rebellion? Moreover, the model is wearing shorts, telling God that the wiener is nobody's business except my body's! Furthermore, long hair pulled into a pony tail contrasts with adam's weird mullet. I'm not sure what that could mean, maybe that a man is like a horse of course, or something, whatever.

The most notable absence, obv, is that God's not in the shot, a very dramatic statement as to God's role in our day-to-day lives. Sure, maybe you were there when you created Adam but what have you done for me recently? And don't bullshit me about the footprints, I'm on the beach, I can see who they belong to (spoilers: it's me, rear end in a top hat!).

For reference, the other, not as good picture:

Fanky Malloons posted:

I was going to explain the story behind this, but I think maybe it's better sans context??? Either way, I am wearing a swimsuit, so I assume it totally counts, pls enjoy.

alnilam posted:

come on in, the water's great!

e: as a fun bonus, you can't really see me well but here's me catching some mad air on my fav rope swing in the whole world

lmbo calrissian posted:

This is fake... If you were this cool then there's no way youre on byob now

cda posted:

What are you drinking? Cranberry Juice? Blood? It better be blood. Real pirates don't fear scurvy. The earrings and hat are dope, but I would not call them a swimsuit, since most pirates could not swim.

My score: 8.9

hockey jockey posted:

I was planning to remodel my artistic golem to even greater beauty, but I've had pleurisy and a recurrent chest infection for two months now and there's no more petrol (gas) in the tank. So here is me in the closest thing I have to an evening gown.

Eugene V. Dabs posted:

N. Senada posted:

A young person looks towards the cosmos, a field of stars hangs above him like so many dancing lights. Crickets chirp nearby, a soft campfire crackles far behind him and friends at the fire chat and laugh. But N. Senada is with them only in presence as his mind turns to the heavens. For a moment, he truly experiences the sublime as he wonders if there's something out there looking up at its own sky, looking up towards a galaxy of potential. He sits transfixed, hoping his eyes lock with the the eyes of something else, a chance meeting of intelligence across unfathomable distances. His bare feet rest on cool grass. He shifts his weight and blue jammies, covered in yellow stars and red rockets, rub against the ground as he turns to look at Orion's Belt. Green and brown earth stains his cotton and polyester apparel, but they are invisible to him in this darkness. His mind is elsewhere, floating through the universe, imagining about worlds he has only ever read about. Ice giants where nothing could live. Dwarfs so hot that the surface is liquid metal. Black Holes which challenge the very laws that govern his reality.

N. Senada, looking charming in his retro pajamas, bare feet, and tussled hair, is torn from this galactic trip as a fellow camper shouts out, "Party Foul." He sees a flaming mass, a terrestrial sort of shooting star, fly towards him. It lands on the grass nearby. A marshmallow drenched in fire, crisp and black, bubbles in front of him. His mind zooms back to this world, his attention on the fiery confection before him. He reflects on a simple truth: 'fire is badass'

lmbo calrissian posted:

this is a full alligator bodysuit, I like to wear it with the hat to cocktail evenings, I had a really long work day and I promise I'm going to draw the rest in when I'm home

cda posted:

The photograph was clearly taken in the evening, thus making whatever you're wearing "evening wear." The picture frame is a nice touch because it makes me anticipate that I will be looking at an oil portrait of one of our Founding Fathers, or maybe a hideously old and deformed version of you that you keep in an attic while you commit gay crimes, seemingly blessed by a youth and charm that never fades. Overall, though, it's just not classy. It makes me think of classy things, but then I look at it. I bet that shirt would look cool if I were wearing 3-D glasses, but I'm not wearing 3-D glasses. Next time, include 3-D glasses.

My score: 8.5/10

cda posted:

understood, it was tres byob

cda posted:

This concludes the EVENING WEAR PORTION of our posting pageant.

The scores for this round included a THREE WAY TIE for first place and a TWO WAY TIE for second place and a ONE WAY TIE for every other place:

1. alnilam - 9.5
1. lmbo calrissian - 9.5
1. vanisher - 9.5
2. HotSoapyBeard - 9.2
2. Manifisto - 9.2
3. N. Senada - 9.125
4. They Might Be - 9
5. hockey jockey - 8.625
6. fanky malloons - 8.375
7. munchables - 8.3
8. posting smiling - 8.225
9. eugene v. dabs - 8.175
10. King of the Beach - 7.815

~~~~~~~~ the zone of non-compliance ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
pig slut lisa - 0
Mr Willsauce - 0
City of Glompton - 0
farg - 0
Hogge Wild - 0
Android Blues - 0

The overall scores at the end of this round are mysterious and will remain so

Manifisto posted:

we're going to need proof that your destination lacked internet

a doctor's note or some such

LITERALLY A BIRD posted:

King of the Beach is awarded a little extra for successful emotional manipulation, making his final score for this round 7.75/10.

alnilam posted:

Really though thank you so much and thanks so much for having this lovely pageant!! i think we all had fun and learned the value of fxship

ilu all and we will always be posting pals, and you're all mx byob in my heart

Yob bless us everyone. Pllllay ball!