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iospace posted:As someone who loves puns, yup, yours was better. There's also a possible riff on a classic: I'm tho Thor I can hardly pitch 
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May 1, 2017 15:56
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cis autodrag posted:because he's hit like >300 with multiple dingers over the last two seasons at miller park but merely being extremely good is not enough for him and he must whine and moan about the lighting in a ballpark preventing him from becoming hank aaron or something. bitching about the lighting in milwaukee puts him in the same group as tony la russa. Yes, I can totally see how one offhand comment blown out of proportion by a bored hometown press makes one equivalent to a pissy chronically alcoholic xenophobic rear end in a top hat.
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May 1, 2017 18:57
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My baseball rarity was being at a game where members of the Atlanta Braves received World Series rings, i.e. 1996 Opening Day. At the time it seemed like it wouldn't be an isolated instance, but whatcha gonna do. Only thing I remember from the game itself is Deion Sanders hitting a ball that got lodged at the base of the fence, would have easily been an inside the parker but the 3B coach held him up at third and I've been bitter about it since. My first game ever I apparently saw Dale Murphy walk off with a homer against the Padres but I don't remember it despite writing a grade-school "what I did last summer" type essay about it.
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May 3, 2017 23:25
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KICK BAMA KICK posted:Hmm wonder how this post from 24 hours ago holds up I really don't see the benefit of trotting him back out to mop up tonight or really keeping him up on the big league squad, now even if they send him down they'll have to extend him back out to starting again, or else just make him long relief permanently. Sims is next in line for starts if anyone gets hurt, and probably Newcomb after that or even Max Fried if they want to expedite him. (Aaron Blair's looked like poo poo so far though, he might be washing out too.)
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May 4, 2017 05:36
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tadashi posted:Braves got loving fleeced. Nah, getting Upton off the books was so crucial that I remember people being shocked they even got a prospect out of it at all. So much dead weight. Meanwhile all the real prospects are a year or three away, and that's fine. Some of them will make it.
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May 4, 2017 16:47
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tadashi posted:I disagree. They could have maxed their return on Kimbrel and just ate Upton's deal or waited to see if he rebounded. They were in full-on rebuild mode and rebuilding teams don't need money, as evidenced by them eating a whole lot of deals over the last couple years, but they do need as much talent as they can get. I definitely see the point, but think there's a deeper problem here that the Braves then were (and probably still are) just across-the-board terrible in identifying and developing hitting talent; these are the same people who ignored every single warning sign about Francoeur, who did whatever the hell they did to Andy Marte for him to end up like he did, who kept pushing Jordan Schafer up the pipes, who consistently made terrible decisions on expensive long-term contracts, etc. It's a miracle that Freeman survived, and probably just a matter of random luck given what a disastrous run of drafts they had for almost a decade there. What they could do then was bring unheralded arms through (and then torch through them at the major league level, but that's a different pathology). If anything, they probably didn't burn down enough of the structure. They never quite went full Astro.
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May 4, 2017 18:48
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fast cars loose anus posted:unless the umps were colossal idiots. I mean... worth a try, right?
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May 4, 2017 19:03
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Braves beat writer Mark Bowman has been tweeting out some cheery stats, including that the Braves have the worst ERA in the majors and the worst ERA at this point of the season since 1990. Also, this gem on lineup construction: Brandon Phillips is having a solid season but he has tanked in the 2-spot, vs. being very good around the 6-spot. I don't think Snitker would ever bat Freddie 2nd, so barring Markakis moving up there, it's likely to just remain an abyss most of the year.
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May 6, 2017 20:58
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After watching him flail pathetically at AAA pitching for a month, the Braves have released Ryan Howard. GoatSeeGuy posted:So yeah.......about those John Kruk gifs Gendo used to post. Was just looking for the fancy testicle today, couldn't find it.
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May 8, 2017 23:16
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The Braves picked up another lovely bench player today, acquiring Danny Santana from the Twins. In return, they sent over one of their many lovely bullpen arms tucked away in AAA and a little cash.
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May 9, 2017 01:46
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Tony Phillips posted:I laugh every time I remember that ESPN put the words "Weed Mouse" into an article. Every single day an SA nick or Weird Twitter name is cited in serious journalism is a great day in serious journalism.
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May 9, 2017 21:21
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FlamingLiberal posted:The Marlins are hot garbage and half of our infield is on the DL. Wake me up when Loria sells. Good news: the Braves are coming to town.
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May 11, 2017 14:02
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John Wilkes Booth posted:For God so loved the Mets, He gave his one and only son, Tim Tebow, a chance to play in the majors by injuring everyone ahead of him. Like Kind Hearts and Coronets, but for getting Tebow to the Show.
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May 12, 2017 16:02
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The one good thing about this Braves season is at least I won't have to deal with Jeff Franc-- https://twitter.com/mlbbowman/status/863097410289098756
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May 12, 2017 19:58
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No game is safe from Krol
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May 13, 2017 02:44
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FlamingLiberal posted:I WARNED YOU... This one's there for the taking, Braves are hitting Adonis second, sitting Flowers and Phillips, and running out Dickey.
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May 14, 2017 18:11
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The Hall of Fame makes fans stupid.
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May 16, 2017 07:40
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Pancakes posted:Just quickly, career defensive WAR: In related news, Andruw Jones should go into the Hall of Fame sooner rather than later.
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May 16, 2017 20:07
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Adonis Garcia onto the DL with tendonitis, Jace Peterson will play 3B most days and Braves will call up switch-hitting Johan Camargo to play against lefties since Rio Ruiz can't hit them worth a goddamn.
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May 17, 2017 03:05
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Pretty sure I would never have finished my dissertation without performance-enhancing drugs, fortunately I'm at zero risk of being considered for any Hall of Fame-type equivalent.
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May 17, 2017 17:07
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Initial x-rays on Freeman's hand inconclusive, headed for another round of them tomorrow.
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May 18, 2017 03:51
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Intruder posted:Jason Collins was 35 when he came out and also not very good John Amaechi similarly. There's obviously better gay players in major sports leagues who have gotten the message to keep their mouths shut till long after retirement, or take it with them to the grave. In conclusion, gently caress sports.
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May 18, 2017 17:03
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Braves shouldn't have gotten up for that, bat flipping when you've brought your team within 4 of an excessively lovely team is already sufficient self-ownage.
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May 18, 2017 17:48
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Intruder posted:If anything the Braves should be grateful since their tank wasn't quite tanky enough I mean, if it were anyone else on the team, sure. Break everyone and run the Gwinnett team out there, as long as Freddie's ok.
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May 18, 2017 19:47
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Braves now saying Freeman out "at least" 10 weeks. Freddie's definitely the type to try to talk his way back in before he's completely ready, so I hope they stick to whatever timeline they establish. Rio Ruiz, Johan Camargo, and Jace Peterson will split first and third between them till Adonis Garcia comes back, and first afterward. Ruiz can't hit lefties for poo poo, so Camargo is the one who will probably stay up after then. Also brawls that sort of happen spontaneously are fun, but premeditated ones with real malice are super dumb, so it'd be nice if the Braves just played loving baseball today and got on with it. elentar fucked around with this message at 20:51 on May 18, 2017 |
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May 18, 2017 20:49
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Craptacular! posted:I've read about six pages of Blue Jay related posting about headhunting, slurs, and what sounds like bench clearing madness. It's mid-May and everyone is bored and everything you listed is so much less exciting than it might sound at first.
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May 19, 2017 17:44
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Matt Adams? Really? Did the team plane need ballast?
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May 21, 2017 00:55
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Ammat The Ankh posted:I get the Braves trading for Adams as a Freeman replacement, but why bother? It's not like they were going into the season expecting to compete (and they definitely won't without Freeman), just slot a minor league filler guy into first and call it a day. Yeah, I care less about the past fatness then the complete organizational pointlessness. Play Ruiz and Camargo and be done with it.
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May 21, 2017 01:07
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Here you go Joey Freshwater https://twitter.com/mlbbowman/status/866690557128650752
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May 22, 2017 18:54
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Joey Freshwater posted:
Not active though—Braves aren't terribly freakish this year but you could go Collmenter, who looks like an extra-sexist Mad Man bit player, or maybe Bonifacio who is an only slightly demented gnome.
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May 22, 2017 22:12
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Ahaha, this article: D-backs' Collmenter looking for love in Australia and this picture
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May 22, 2017 22:19
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RC and Moon Pie posted:The Gwinnett Braves are looking for a new mascot in 2018. Putting in the Gwinnett Marks, though the Gwinnett Suckers might be better.
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May 24, 2017 02:30
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Always thought he looked like a Chico Marx character.
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May 24, 2017 21:26
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BasicFunk posted:The look on his face during that last home run looked like he was watching his roster spot sail away with that baseball. Speaking of, Collmenter DFA'd, Wisler coming back up.
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May 25, 2017 14:57
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Luigi Thirty posted:We have a new one for those between-innings blooper reels courtesy of Steven Souza Jr. ... Keep waiting at the end of that for him to get mauled by a lion.
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May 27, 2017 08:22
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