Bad With Money 2018: When I die, bury me in the blockchain.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Bad With Money 2018: When I die, bury me in the blockchain.

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moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Sundae posted:

I think the intended trajectory is "make hay while the sun shines" and eventually hit it big while stashing away as much as you can.

Yup, that was my plan! It sucks to see more and more of the profits sucked up by Amazon and Facebook as they adjust their payouts.

I can't tell you how many fellow authors I've given advice to that they shouldn't count on their six-figure income to continue indefinitely. One of my close author friends (Sundae, you'll know who this is) ended up buying this huge huge house in a HCOL area. Only she's single, in her early twenties, and had absolutely no use for a giant house. As soon as she bought it, she ended up spending thousands on furniture, fixing things around the house that needed fixing. And PUTTING ON AN ADDITION TO THE ALREADY HUGE HOUSE. This girl had two Roombas for her giant house that she lived in alone.

And then Amazon crashed, and her books never recovered the same amount of popularity. I'm guessing she'll have to sell the house soon, and all I can do is shake my head and try not to say I told you so.

# ¿ May 4, 2017 22:12

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# ¿ May 4, 2024 15:01

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

ate all the Oreos posted:

What the hell is wrong with you

It's the horse that's got something wrong with it, from what I can see.

# ¿ Jun 11, 2017 19:03

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

gvibes posted:

It's a pretty gross market. "Hey, person with terminal illness and a 1 million dollar death benefit. How would you like to make us your beneficiary in exchange for, let's say, $100k?"

People with AIDS were a big target back in the day.

There was a really interesting This American Life episode about this: https://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/473/loopholes

# ¿ Jun 19, 2017 15:51

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

took a picture for this thread

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ¿ Jul 13, 2017 00:35

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Redpiller ends up marrying a shithead sexist who thinks women's work is worthless, who could have seen that coming?

# ¿ Sep 29, 2017 00:36

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

He needs to report that dude to the IRS and claim some of that sweet penalty money when the sov cit guy inevitably has failed to pay a cent in taxes.

# ¿ Oct 7, 2017 23:52

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/79d266/help_sister_fell_for_a_psychic_scam_75000_in_debt/ posted:

So in January 2017, my sister was going through some major depression. She also kind of believes in psychics and evil spirits, so she turned to one to help her through this.
As psychics do, she was charged an arm and a leg every which way, and maxed out her credit cards to the tune of $74,000.

Two questions.

More emotionally, my sister feels the psychic did help somewhat. I feel that it is because she has taken steps towards helping her depression, and that control is what is helping her pull herself out of depression. How can I help her continue seeking therapy and help for this problem?

The loving money. Its a nauseating amount of debt. She paid the psychic through paypal mostly, and only stopped when her credit cards where maxed out. She signed them all up through debt consolidation, and is making $1200/month payments for the next 4 years.

Is there any legal avenues, or other ways to address this situation?

# ¿ Oct 29, 2017 01:53

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Jesus, that's so loving disgusting.

Today's bad with money: the dude who hacked my old poker account and didn't change the password before playing and winning a half dozen tournaments that sent notifications to me. I just got an email: "Why u change the password bro?"

Lol, that's $650 free moneys for me. Thanks for winning so much, bro.

Edit: just got another email:
Im a student from India, I dont have a money for food and stadying:((( Pokers is my last chance to survive in my country!
Could you please help me? Just give me your accounte for some time.You can be sure that I will not do bad things with your accounte and I will give it you back. I can believe me

moana fucked around with this message at 06:19 on Dec 29, 2017

# ¿ Dec 29, 2017 06:13

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

What the gently caress is it with essential oils? Met up with one of my husband's friends this christmas, and the wife was talking to me: "Yeah, so I put some essential lavender oil on my 8 month old baby's back, and it turned bright red like, immediately! I felt so bad! Haha!"

Uh, you should feel bad. That poo poo is loving poison to babies. And my cousin has on her facebook page that she's a "Young Living" representative selling essential oils, and my neighbor invites me to all of her MLM jewelry "parties" selling fifty cent Chinese earrings for $10. God drat it, I can't escape all of this poo poo now that I am a Fellow Mom. It's awful.

Another neighbor sent out a GoFundMe for a friend who's down on his luck to get him tickets to visit his family in Wisconsin. Okay, maybe I can chip in. Oh, wait, no, it's TRAIN tickets, the GoFundMe is for $4000. We didn't spend that much taking our whole family to hawaii, how the gently caress does anyone spend $4k to get to Wisconsin? Nobody donated.

Also we asked family not to get much for us or our kid as we don't have much room in our car anyway and she's not going to remember any of it. So they scaled back and only got her few books. Oh no, wait, they didn't, we ended up getting a plastic toy farm and a plastic toy airplane and a plastic toy bus and all of it makes these wonderful noises, and they got me a Keurig single-cup coffee machine because hey, why not make this the most wasteful Christmas ever? And then they also got us a roof rack for our car, so we'd have no excuse not to take all of these presents back with us. AHHHHHH, I love them but AHHHHHHH! Take that money and put it toward your debt so we don't have to support you in your old age!

# ¿ Jan 4, 2018 01:55

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

EAT FASTER!!!!!! posted:

The implication is not that we resent getting stuff, it's that our loving idiot relatives are putting themselves on financial life support by overextending themselves in order to out-pace one another and teaching our kids that stuff = love.

Yeah, this is the in-laws where the Trump supporter dad won't deign to get a part time job because he spends all of his time and money on trump's ACN mlm bullshit conferences and online seminars and you just wait, he'll be rolling in it soon. Until then they spend $500/mo on a housekeeper because he can't work a vacuum apparently, and they have a gardener because mowing is also too time consuming for him to do with all the self motivational magazines he needs to read. Also they haven't filed taxes in years, probably because he doesn't want to face up to all the money he's wasted. My MIL won't divorce him because Jesus, and it's just hard to watch since I love them but good goddamn.

Buying us a roof rack to carry all the stuff they can't afford to give us is just the cherry on top of the BMW banana split they got going on.

Nirvikalpa posted:

Does anyone here know a lot of people who do MLMs? I only know four people who do (my aunt who has been chronically unemployed, two people from high school, and weirdly enough my cousin who is a military wife but also earned a Masters in Economics from a pretty good school. But it's apparently a big problem in some circles.

It's a church thing and a stay at home mom thing. If you're not in one of those circles, you probably can avoid most of it.

moana fucked around with this message at 07:07 on Jan 5, 2018

# ¿ Jan 5, 2018 07:05

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

UnfurledSails posted:

Yeah I sometimes stumble into the skincare threads to have a basic 1-3 step routine I can do after I shower in the morning and before I go to bed, but every time I leave confused and exasperated.

Cleanser, toner, moisturizer. I use Neutrogena for the first two and Cerave for the third. Good luck!

# ¿ Jan 9, 2018 21:28

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

tomapot posted:

Reminds me of this scene from Go �It�s Confederate Products, it�s, it�s a different company, it�s a different quality of product.�

https://youtu.be/OkdLWuCRe0c

So, Zach, would you say you're open to new ideas?

If there was an academy award for weird creepy supporting actor, he would win it a thousand times over.

# ¿ Jan 28, 2018 06:47

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Weatherman posted:

IDON'T

UPRUDE

# ¿ Feb 3, 2018 01:00

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

GoGoGadgetChris posted:

None of us do! It's a BFC Rule for some reason.

That was back when people were just fighting over whether or not she was a troll. Then I stepped down as mod and the rule just stuck around, I don't know why.

# ¿ Feb 3, 2018 22:42

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

You're only allowed to wear donut leggings ironically, to the gym.

oh holy poo poo, don't go looking for outfit examples for these, whatever you do:

The BWM in this image: somebody paid money for those blazers and for a gold-plated "fat" necklace with a shoelace chain. When the donut leggings aren't even in your top three bad daily clothing decisions...

moana fucked around with this message at 08:52 on Feb 9, 2018

# ¿ Feb 9, 2018 08:48

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

EAT FASTER!!!!!! posted:

top one is interesting, but there's something uniquely democracy-sustaining about children being in public school together.

While my idealist side agrees in principle, as someone who taught in public schools, gently caress public schools and I'm never sending my kid to one. Curriculum changes move at a snail's pace, good teachers get driven out of the system, and teaching to the average is just about the best case scenario for most classrooms. I hate that homeschoolers are mainly nutso antivaxxers and bible thumpers, but that's not all of them and I'll find the other good ones to hang out with. I want my kid learning things like coding and personal finance and graphic design and entrepreneurship and game theory, things that aren't covered in public schools except possibly as "elective" classes once you get to high school. I did great in school and loved my teachers, and all the crap I "learned" was utterly forgettable. I don't want to waste that many years of my kid's life, if she wants to learn everything about aquaponics, she can become a loving expert in aquaponics and just spend a whole year learning that.

Holy hell this was a terrible self post, I'm sorry guys. I'm just going to spoiler that out so nobody has to read it unless they want to. Here's a BWM story to make up for it:

My sister got diagnosed with a chronic pain condition, and she's an antiscience idiot so is buying into every MLM scammer who posts on her facebook. "Have you tried Herbalife?" "You know, Plexus can help a great deal with your condition. PM me for more info." "There's a lot of evidence that essential oils can manage pain, hun. I'll get you a discount through my supplier..."

Every single one, she's encouraging. "Send me more info! I'm so interested!" I get being desperate for a solution, but she's just pouring money into all of the "alternative" and "natural" healing treatments she can find. All the while, mooching off of my mother who is worn ragged playing free babysitter to two grandkids. It's just so ARGGHGHHGHG I can't stand it.

# ¿ Mar 5, 2018 00:30

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

GoGoGadgetChris posted:

I'm Financially Independent*

*Gonna have to re-enter the work force with a blank resume every time there's a market downturn

Yeah, those grapes are probably bitter, anyway. Heh, stupid people with a million in the bank choosing not to work for a while. Just like goth kids, amirite?

# ¿ Mar 29, 2018 01:13

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

totalnewbie posted:

I asked him if he's paid taxes on it and he said no. I told him he should find an accountant but, from what I know about him, I think it's 60/40 he won't.

Oh well, not my problem

Could be good for you, don't you get part of the prize money if you report tax fraud to the IRS? Plz send me half of what you get, tia.

# ¿ Apr 4, 2018 19:44

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Mocking Bird posted:

And man I need to move out of the bay

Let me know where you end up going, we'll follow you and raise home prices wherever it is

# ¿ May 3, 2018 19:17

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

quote:

The insight that got me interested in Bitcoin was the planet Uranus is about to enter into Taurus

I can't think of a sentence that could more completely convince me of a person's utter stupidity than this one. It is magnificently, perfectly, stupid.

# ¿ May 9, 2018 20:03

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

I think the Mattress Wars article was linked last time this came up, it was an absolutely fascinating read: https://www.fastcompany.com/3065928/sleepopolis-casper-bloggers-lawsuits-underside-of-the-mattress-wars

# ¿ May 13, 2018 03:14

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Mocking Bird posted:

The downsides of having a house spouse include having to listen to your family�s thoughts on their marketable skills and emailed Craigslist posts of job ads completely unrelated to their skill set

I get this all the time with my stay at home husband. "Oh, he plays drums? He should be a music teacher! Here's some links to freelancing sites with a couple of $15/hr jobs!"

Yeah, no, he's a dad, that's his job. It's not just family, it's literally everybody I meet if I tell them he's a SAHD... I've gotten it from people I just met at a party. It's like they're incapable of accepting that men might like to take care of children and be good at it.

# ¿ Jun 11, 2018 03:27

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Switchback posted:

Ok sorry for the self post but this is literally my Husband and I�m leaving him today and I am loving terrified but thanks for the help growing a backbone, thread. Supporting someone who sits on the couch in his boxers painting miniatures and scrolling through facebook all night is super loving lame.

GWM and GWL to leave someone who isn't putting anything into the relationship. Hope you have all your ducks in a row because alimony is very BWM.

# ¿ Jun 11, 2018 07:14

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Ixian posted:

Yes, I hosed up. I read it as he was dividing his monthly payment in half for the purposes of his post, not that he actually had a bi-weekly i.e. 26 payment/year schedule.

I think what prozac meant was that 330 times 2 is not 760.

# ¿ Jun 21, 2018 07:32

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

gently caress ice cream, frozen custard is where it's at. At least 10% milkfat and extra artery-clogging egg yolk.

Bad with money: my father in law, who has spent thousands of dollars on bullshit MLM conferences and self help seminars already, has decided to start a new job - buying leads so that he can sell insurance. My husband asked how much it would cost... just a few hundred dollars for the certification. Plus he has to buy every single lead. And he knows nothing about insurance, which means this is for one of those lovely companies who sells insurance people don't need or that just sells the certification, who knows, who cares.

# ¿ Jun 30, 2018 05:49

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

ZHamburglar posted:

If I were to have a large amount of money, what would be the best thing to invest in to grow it but keep it liquid as possible? It will be in the 6 to 7 figure range due to a company being sold that I had equity in. I have no intention of buying anything with it for the future

Growth and liquidity are kind of opposites, yo, also why do you want it liquid if you have no intention of using it soon.

# ¿ Jul 2, 2018 21:21

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

ZHamburglar posted:

I want it to grow, but also I'm planning on investing in startups that I believe will make money in the end. Most of my money comes from equity in startups at this point. So I plan on investing, but I just don't have a timeline for when/if that happens.

Did not remember your name and thought this was a joke post. You are definitely in the right thread, just keep posting about your decisions here, especially when you put all your savings into an organic hash oil manufacturer whose business plan is as detailed as your retirement plan.

# ¿ Jul 3, 2018 07:25

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

GoGoGadgetChris posted:

It is a BFC rite of passage to ask for advice on where to keep some money for either like 1 or 10 years that might be for a house down payment or potentially early retirement and ideally with high growth but available any time and without volatility

Would that be stock? Do i want to buy 401k? My parents have a Money Guy that I can work with, if that helps

also emptyquotin dis

# ¿ Jul 3, 2018 07:26

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Rotten Red Rod posted:

Speaking of insane housing prices, what the gently caress just happened in the last 6 months to the housing market in San Jose? Every so often, out of curiosity, I check the Zillow estimate of the house I sold early last year for $640, and it's now at $950k.

Yeah we're in the mountains outside San Jose and I'm always flummoxed when I have to drive a car during rush hour. It's just incredible how far people will drive for a job in Silicon Valley, and it keeps getting worse and worse. Or better and better, I guess, for people who already own. Maybe things will change during the next tech bubble burst, or maybe every job except for programming will be eliminated in the future robocalypse and the entire world will want to move to San Jose, who knows!!!

edit: want to see what $625k will buy you in California? Spoiler: it's less than 500 square feet! https://www.zillow.com/homes/for_sale/Santa-Cruz-CA/house_type/16112305_zpid/

# ¿ Jul 11, 2018 01:03

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Wolfy posted:

Yikes. That is not a pretty picture.

Yeah I went to public school in Hawaii, it was awful. Half the high schoolers got off the bus at the first stop to work at the sugarcane factory until it closed down for good. Drug use, lovely teachers, the works.

I don't know if this was a resource problem, but we all had to work rotating shifts as cafeteria workers. Once or twice a week it was your turn to work lunch, you put your hair up in a net and spent two hours doling out ladles of beans or breaking down empty milk cartons. Or maybe it was just to get people used to being in the service industry like everybody is in hawaii.

# ¿ Jul 27, 2018 22:04

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Sirotan posted:

spend less on gourds

# ¿ Aug 10, 2018 00:10

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Ashcans posted:

If all the white people fled Stone Mountain, maybe we can finally scour off that horrible carving now?

Yeah but what about the laser light show.

# ¿ Aug 20, 2018 07:19

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

My mother in law: "What's this book about estate planning?"
Me: "We're going to an estate planner soon to set up a living trust for [daughter]."
MIL: "LOL we never did that but we don't have any money so I guess it's okay."

I did not tell her that part of the reason we're setting up a trust is because we don't want either of our moms raising our kid in the unlikely event we both get killed. My mom is insane and doesn't care about seat belts, my MIL is religious and terrible with money. Six figure salary and nothing saved in the bank. And this month she's "laying off" her housekeeper because she can't afford a housekeeper anymore since they went on a cruise. On the cruise her husband bought another expensive watch so he could look successful to his MLM buddies, but it's okay because "You don't have to pay taxes on anything you buy on the ship so it's like 10% off! You're saving money!"

bob dobbs is dead posted:

e: other omissions: harvey mudd, cooper union
nobody heard of them but for some reason (god-tier college loyalty on the level of actually famous schools, comparatively small size) peeps get jobs

Yeah I have had two job interviews where the person saw Mudd on the resume and instantly offered me the job. Not sure it's worth the sticker price, but still. Olin too, maybe.

Another MLM BWM sad story is my neighbor, who has been trying desperately to make a thousand dollars in sales (not profit, sales) for her jewelry MLM. She's too disabled to work and it just sucks to see her buried in dollar-store quality Plunder charm bracelets that she tries to shove off onto her family and neighbors. God, I loving hate MLM scum companies.

# ¿ Aug 29, 2018 22:19

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Wasn't it zaurg exwife who was deep into juice plus and we found out because he had a separate budget line for "juice" that was way too much?

# ¿ Sep 6, 2018 00:13

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Veni Vidi Ameche! posted:

It�s viewable without archives! Thanks.

Holy poo poo, I�m only skimming it, but it�s everything I remember, and more! I had forgotten about the hobby affair, and �which outfit should I wear to the abortion.�

loving lol...

haha I forgot I made that. It was more effort than slomo ever put into changing his spending habits, bazing!

# ¿ Sep 8, 2018 04:52

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

The Chairman posted:

"Bred for Western Pleasure"

god horse people are weird

# ¿ Oct 31, 2018 01:46

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Doccykins posted:

You buried the lede

america.txt: a $100 a month "Paying back child birth" line item

# ¿ Nov 28, 2018 00:19

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Magissima posted:

I liked ur post

# ¿ Dec 16, 2018 16:39

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Does anybody know what colloidal silver is, anyway?

# ¿ Dec 22, 2018 20:46

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# ¿ May 4, 2024 15:01

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Interesting. In completely unrelated news, my father in law is no longer drinking regular water but super duper Kangen water, which is like regular water but without the acid(?) but you also set your wallet on fire while drinking it. It can also be used to put out wallet fires, probably better than that dumb lame regular water.

# ¿ Dec 23, 2018 00:36

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Bad With Money 2018: When I die, bury me in the blockchain.

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