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noether
May 1, 2017

some kinda cutesy shoggoth
hey folks, I'm gonna start streaming in a minute. come hang out for a while! same rules apply as last time as far as spoilers go and such.

Mega64 posted:

These asides are wonderful.

thanks! I glad someone's enjoying them :cheeky:

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noether
May 1, 2017

some kinda cutesy shoggoth
this is really a fascinating game


this update was from the stream on saturday. the relevant section of the VOD can be found here, on the off chance that unedited bootleg emerald with my hosed up voice layered over it interests you. the stream featured my friend husqi on co-commentary.



before we can leave the island, we have to deliver the letter we’ve been carrying to the local stro man. he’s in a particularly inconvenient part of the cave we were in earlier, but at least we have an excuse to go looking for some mons we missed on the first pass.





eventually, this tiny brainy boy will become a glorious kaiju… but he’s gonna be kinda dopey for a while.







yamils have the ability to destroy other mons at will. truly they are a force to be feared and avoided at all costs.



‘kay.

not pictured: going back to gold water to pick up the exp share.



oops



I don’t know what he’s sure of, but at least he has confidence in his convictions.



this small child warns us to have low expectations for the upcoming city.



spirit soda: brewed fresh with real ghost mons!



sometimes, drift-youths wash ashore in kayi with the tide. they come from all over the world, from wherever the fickle ocean currents saw fit.



despite being spirited away by the sea and losing everyone he ever knew, this drift-youth still cheers.



watcha got there, little buddy? wait, is that my let’s play?





hey!





“it is said?” is that some kinda prophecy or something?



:same:





it is never enough



agreed!





apparently we’ve fulfilled the prophecy. cool.

]

being that the poaching of ghost mons to brew soda is illegal in hoenn, spirit soda is prohibitively expensive.



anyway, we finally made it to kayi proper. there’s a lot to see around here, as it turns out.



the marketplace is pretty huge. there’s nothing I need from there right this second, but I’ll probably be back much later when I have a consistent team that I’d want to fill up with EV drugs and such.



my brbug is in the top percentile of brbugs

…it’s still a brbug though, so that doesn’t really mean much.



I actually had to look up if “ingured” was some obscure word the machine dragged up form the abyss of human language or if they just misspelled “injured.”

spoiler: it’s the latter.





…well?!





well that’s a suspicious thing to say! have the authorities quarantined all the mon fanfans of mon in this one building for some reason?



why is there just a normal-rear end animal here? some mon fans you folks are.



this big water rat was raised catholic. despite the numerous scandals that have come out regarding the clergy, they still find comfort in their faith.



however, their constant proselytizing is a bother to its owner.



no, I’m NOETR.







I am also full of questions, but I doubt that anyone here has coherent answers.

the reporter lady gives us the same hosed up dialogue options as everyone else.



I guess the pure gibberish that comes out of NOETR’s mouth is just normal for these people at this point.



















…intimate with me? uh, don’t get the wrong idea, I’m just their trai-







now wait just a-







HOLY poo poo, I’M NOT loving MY PETS, OKAY?

I guess now we know why all the monfanfans of mon are trapped here. what a bunch of sickos!







nice, maybe senpai will notice me now.

…on second thought, in the rest of the games, TM 41 is “torment.” maybe this guy’s just into yandere types or something.









you loving bet I challenge!

so the tent of big challenge is what replaces the contest halls from ruby and sapphire in a bunch of cities. I’ve never actually played emerald before, just the other two games, so this is the first time I encountered this stuff. it’s pretty cool, and I’ll probably mess around with it off camera at some point. I ended up rushing through the choosing mons phase while I was playing, though, and I ended up picking some real lemons to start with, so the gameplay the next bit comes from was kind of excruciating at times.





all of the trainer names and dialogue in here is garbage. I think I saw a needle rat chewing on some outside, in fact.



off-brand bling bares its abdomen at the enemy to restore health.



this fucker took like 10 minutes to kill. none of the mons I picked had very good move sets, and the one with a high attack stat only had a poison attack. mistakes were made.





this camp-youth had a brief moment of lucidity before falling back into speaking in tongues.



for the last fight, I was matched against 57 people named “daren.”



this is just like my japanese animes



ugh, where am I gonna put all these guys? can I put people in the computer?



for winning three battles continuously, we get a super.



And then we stare into space for a bit.

anyway, that’s all for this update. next time, we’ll actually hit up the museum and learn about the mysteries of the ocean!

noether fucked around with this message at 02:05 on May 22, 2017

Kheldarn
Feb 17, 2011



noether posted:

[img]https://lpix.org/2803190/Pocket%20Monster%20-%20Pokemon%20Emerald%20(Multicart%20Rip)%20(Unl)_138.png[img]

Be bad a pictures.

(You ended with a [img] tag instead of a [/img] tag...)

noether
May 1, 2017

some kinda cutesy shoggoth

Kheldarn posted:

Be bad a pictures.

(You ended with a [timg] tag instead of a [/timg] tag...)

gah! I don't know how I missed that when I was proofreading :doh:

krisslanza
May 6, 2011

noether posted:

gah! I don't know how I missed that when I was proofreading :doh:

I've done it before. Though I did it in some writing, and turned like 10 paragraphs of writing to be entirely in italics :v:

Digamma-F-Wau
Mar 22, 2016

It is curious and wants to accept all kinds of challenges
The vitreous humour is the most spacious part of the human body

Blaze Dragon
Aug 28, 2013
LOWTAX'S SPINE FUND

noether posted:

gah! I don't know how I missed that when I was proofreading :doh:

You still do a better job at proofreading than whoever was behind this translation.

noether posted:



why is there just a normal-rear end animal here? some mon fans you folks are.

Pocket Monster Emerald & Knuckles.

noether
May 1, 2017

some kinda cutesy shoggoth

The Ayshkerbundy posted:

The vitreous humour is the most spacious part of the human body



yeah, I've been using mine to carry my wallet and stuff since women's clothes don't have any pockets.


Blaze Dragon posted:

Pocket Monster Emerald & Knuckles.

how the gently caress did I miss that joke?

what even am I doing here?

tom bob-ombadil
Jan 1, 2012

noether posted:


how the gently caress did I miss that joke?

what even am I doing here?

You've become so used to reading gibberish, English puns don't even show up on your radar anymore.

Bogart
Apr 12, 2010

by VideoGames
where is BLING :dings:

noether
May 1, 2017

some kinda cutesy shoggoth

Bogart posted:

where is BLING :dings:

the front of the party, of course! gotta get that second hand exp :D

they got some screentime in the latter parts of the stream, so you'll see more of them in an update or two once they catch up with the rest of the gang.

beru04
May 4, 2013

Stop making me realise things.

I have a feeling we're not finished with stro man

noether
May 1, 2017

some kinda cutesy shoggoth

beru04 posted:

I have a feeling we're not finished with stro man

Pssh, who ever heard of a young guy with grey hair in a Japanese work being a big deal?

RyuHimora
Feb 22, 2009

beru04 posted:

I have a feeling we're not finished with stro man

Are we just going to ignore his descriptor apparently being "unc"?

mandatory lesbian
Dec 18, 2012
few rocks

climb up

sage advice from my dude stro man dai

noether
May 1, 2017

some kinda cutesy shoggoth

RyuHimora posted:

Are we just going to ignore his descriptor apparently being "unc"?

it sounds like one of the goofy nicknames chip and ironicus were joking about aiden pearce going by around his son-nephew

mandatory lesbian posted:

few rocks

climb up

sage advice from my dude stro man dai


stro man dai wants to find weakness. if you only climb a few rocks, you won't get all tuckered out and look weak. underachieving is the key to making people overestimate your skill!

noether
May 1, 2017

some kinda cutesy shoggoth
what is it like on earth?

this update was from the stream on saturday. the relevant section of the VOD can be found here, on the off chance that unedited bootleg emerald with my hosed up voice layered over it interests you. the stream featured my friend husqi on co-commentary.







it seems even water fight group members are driven to hit on NOETR



anyway, let’s go learn about the ocean! I mean, there’s all that water, right? what’s up with that?





oh yeah, man, water under the bridge and all, right?





:stare:

well that was a hell of a mood swing.





ah, that’s easy! the ocean’s just sad is all. it’s part of the water cycle: when water molecules fall to earth as rain or snow, they’re young and full of life. all their friends fell with them and everything, and they see it as just a fun little adventure, you know? then, as the water ravels down the mountains, some gets absorbed into the soil or plans, some is consumed by thirsty mons, and before they know it, half their friends are gone for good. they’ll meet new friends along the way, of course, but they’ll never quite fill the gaps left by the old gang, right? by the time the water reaches the ocean, the weight of the collective loss along its long journey comes crashing down on it, and it becomes blue.





pssh, everyone knows that! back when the seawater was young, its favorite character in super smash brothers was bowser. it didn’t know about tiers or anything back then, it just thought he looked cool, right? then, when it got older, it started getting into the competitive scene and stuff, and, you know, bowser isn’t great against a lot of other characters if the other player knows what they’re doing. so every time they go to a tourney, they get swept by some goon playing sheik or something by the second bracket and just goes home to pout.





that’s a trick question. since water vapor is a major part of our planet’s atmosphere, the entire planet can be said to be under water, and therefore everything is the ocean.







I think these dolts mistook their boss emasculating them for an actual mission objective and that’s why they’re here looking for parts



biya’s sprite is pretty wonky.



overcome by their complete ineptitude, water fight group wanders off to kill some time on the boardwalk. a handful were later seen accosting passers-by while they stumbled home from the club.



before we leave the museum, NOETR teabags a scientist





apparently some of the residents of kayi are dagonians or something.



poor aode, even the UI is calling him “odd” now







so now we can call aode if we ever want to lower our mons self-esteem.



almost everything on this route lulls your mons, both in trainer battles and wild encounters.



lovely mons, you say? I’ve been looking for those. show me what you got, I’ll take notes!





these two are saltier than the ocean.



it seems like her thing is distaste anyway. what a downer!





BLING evolves! the name “pink” doesn’t really suit him, though.





https://youtu.be/0LdvQs34Eng



I like that chinese emerald is really specific about exactly what sort of paralysis a pokemon has.





pasly can be cured, but palsy is forever



different what?! this game is full of cliffhangers.



ah, maybe this guy can tell me something about lovely mons and won’t just get pissy when I beat him.





:catdrugs:



hell yeah, man!



awesome. hopefully this guy will call us with hot tips on catching lovely mon





idk, maybe there was an earthqu-

wait, why are you asking me that?



effort is uncool. try to lower people’s expectations of you so you can skate by on mediocrity. then, when you do actually need to pull your own weight for some reason, everyone will think you’re a cool guy





BLING evolves again, reaching their final evolution well before any of my other mons. color isn’t a very good mon, but hopefully BLING will find a role in the team at some point.









I think pretty much anything I could say about that would be in extremely poor taste, so I’m just gonna let that line stand on its own.







oh god, I’ve found some lovely pickup artist book haven’t I?





that sounds like some kind of proverb, so I’m just gonna nod knowingly and pretend I get it.





that seems to have been the right answer. I don’t know if I’d trust food from a strange man who hides under tables, though.





it aaaall returns to nooothing, it all comes tumbling down, tumbling down, tumbling doooooown

it aaall returns to nooothing, I just keep letting me down letting me down, letting me doooooown~ :bravo2:





“areal brushwood” would be a good indie band and/or username.

up ahead is a rival fight. I got stuck here for ages as a kid, but I also never used fbird back then, and I guess this version of her team is a bit easier.











chunzi seems to want us to look for hidden weapons now, but honestly that sounds way above my pay grade.





I’m pretty sure this guy’s dialogue was pretty skeevy in the original version, and this really isn’t an improvement.



ah, they’re a /b/tard. that explains everything.



what’s a chinese knockoff without weird combinations of super heroes?



that’s pretty deep, man.

route 110 mons:













I really want to work moan or groan into my team somewhere (cuz they’re cute), but I don’t really see myself using an electric type unless the team ends up undergoing major restructuring later on.









walkf’s mon map entry is kind of ominous, honestly.

that’s all for this update. next time, we’ll get a horse, train a whole bunch, and take on the next training field head!

noether fucked around with this message at 04:56 on May 31, 2017

Blaze Dragon
Aug 28, 2013
LOWTAX'S SPINE FUND

noether posted:



effort is uncool. try to lower people’s expectations of you so you can skate by on mediocrity. then, when you do actually need to pull your own weight for some reason, everyone will think you’re a cool guy

History of my life, right here. This game understands me on a level good translations do not.

noether
May 1, 2017

some kinda cutesy shoggoth

Blaze Dragon posted:

History of my life, right here. This game understands me on a level good translations do not.

in reality, this translation is nothing but ancient chinese secrets. our tiny modern brains can only comprehend a fraction of the information, resulting in a handful of absolute truths in a sea of ostensible gibberish

AfroSquirrel
Sep 3, 2011



That actually makes some sense with tactical comma usage at the end of the first line. Though they look the same, their hobbies are different.

Seaogre
Oct 10, 2012
Grimey Drawer
I don't understand how they manage to have misspellings in here. Isn't it machine translated....?

noether
May 1, 2017

some kinda cutesy shoggoth

Seaogre posted:

I don't understand how they manage to have misspellings in here. Isn't it machine translated....?

I guess whatever machine they were using had typos in it, which is pretty goofy

that, or someone who knew a little english skimmed over the text before they started programming cartridges, and they're the ones that made the mistakes

Blaze Dragon
Aug 28, 2013
LOWTAX'S SPINE FUND

Seaogre posted:

I don't understand how they manage to have misspellings in here. Isn't it machine translated....?

I genuinely doubt this is only machine-translated. It has a level of consistency I can't imagine a machine could handle, including proper shortenings of names when having to deal with limited space (like with the Gym Leaders or whatever they're called here becoming only the first two letters of that name). Someone put effort into this, which is what surprises me the most about this beautiful trainwreck.

get that OUT of my face
Feb 10, 2007

Somebody put some effort into it, but clearly not a lot.

Carbon dioxide
Oct 9, 2012

At a guess, I think the original script was machine translated but they couldn't just dump that back into the ROM, so someone had to copy it by hand, and used their Artistic Freedom to create what we have now.

Commander Keene
Dec 21, 2016

Faster than the others



Blaze Dragon posted:

I genuinely doubt this is only machine-translated. It has a level of consistency I can't imagine a machine could handle, including proper shortenings of names when having to deal with limited space (like with the Gym Leaders or whatever they're called here becoming only the first two letters of that name). Someone put effort into this, which is what surprises me the most about this beautiful trainwreck.
Seriously? Dr. Odd/Aode/Ood/whatever they're calling Birch(?) right now strikes you as "consistent"? Or maybe it was Kingshui City, better known as Old Water City? I think one or two of the Gym Leaders had odd name changes for certain dialogues, too. This has all of the hallmarks of a machine translation, and I'm pretty sure that the spelling errors were introduced by the guy who had to format whatever Google/Babelfish spat out in order to fit it back in the ROM. Let me reiterate this; they had someone go over this text, and all it did was make the translation worse than the machine translation.

If you're going to point out that all the Gyms are "Training Fields" and all the Gym Leaders are "TF Heads", well, Funky Fantasy IV (a machine-translated romhack of FF4) consistently translated stuff like that (frequently incorrectly, as with "Captain" becoming "physical condition", but consistently), but would inconsistently translate names (at one point, Cecil became Goku for a line of dialogue, and both the Elder of Mysidia and Zeromus/Zemus had several iterations of their names strewn about the script), which looks to be what this translation is doing.

Bogart
Apr 12, 2010

by VideoGames
brain games!!

tom bob-ombadil
Jan 1, 2012
Aw. You got a Pink and Color. My shiny Wurmple was Pink and Color too.

I was hoping for whatever Silcoon and Beautifly are named in this garbage ROM.

tiistai
Nov 1, 2012

Solo Melodica
At least now I know that a Pink is not a Color

Bogart
Apr 12, 2010

by VideoGames

dragon_pamcake posted:

Aw. You got a Pink and Color. My shiny Wurmple was Pink and Color too.

I was hoping for whatever Silcoon and Beautifly are named in this garbage ROM.

please do not shame my good friend, Color, for though he is perhaps one of the worst Pokemon in the game, he is beautiful and deserves respect

noether posted:

there would be riots in the streets if I switched them out :cheeky:

:black101:

Bogart fucked around with this message at 06:35 on May 30, 2017

noether
May 1, 2017

some kinda cutesy shoggoth

dragon_pamcake posted:

Aw. You got a Pink and Color. My shiny Wurmple was Pink and Color too.

I was hoping for whatever Silcoon and Beautifly are named in this garbage ROM.

I was too, to be honest. I kind of hate color's design in general, and their shiny color scheme isn't great IMO. but, they're kind of a figurehead, and there would be riots in the streets if I switched them out :cheeky:

don't worry about not seeing beautifly, though, I have an smmon (silcoon) in the box somewhere that I'll evolve later on whenever I get the time to grind up everyone in the backlog.


h-hey now, it's just a joke! l-let's not do anything hasty!

noether fucked around with this message at 07:24 on May 30, 2017

Haifisch
Nov 13, 2010

Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!



Taco Defender
I can't believe they made me into a mon.

Sordas Volantyr
Jan 11, 2015

Now, everybody, walk like a Jekhar.

(God, these running animations are terrible.)

Haifisch posted:

I can't believe they made me into a mon.

Would you say that you....

never saw it coming?

noether
May 1, 2017

some kinda cutesy shoggoth
so uh, if anyone's keeping a tally of "times noether gets egg on her face," I forgot to include the mon map data for color in the last update after BLING evolved. the update has been edited to include the missing screenshots.

if anyone needs me, I've gone ahead and confined myself to the bag in penance for having disrespected the holy BLING so.

Bogart
Apr 12, 2010

by VideoGames
The BLING will not be sated

Kheldarn
Feb 17, 2011



At least you'll have company.

Arcade Rabbit
Nov 11, 2013

Sordas Volantyr posted:

never saw it coming?

No but seriously Haifisch please change your avatar. It haunts me and I see it evrywhere.

Glaive17
Oct 11, 2012

What is there left to discover about donuts...?
Pillbug

Arcade Rabbit posted:

No but seriously Haifisch please never change your avatar. It pleases me and I never see it coming.

noether
May 1, 2017

some kinda cutesy shoggoth
plutocrat game

hey folks, since I've been pretty slow to update for a bit, the twitch VOD got deleted. I'm re-uploading it right now, but it's like a million hours long, so I'll just include it later on once it's done processing and everything.



welcome to ilvleafcit, home of bikes and rogue EE professors.



oh, I'll have you know I've played a brain game!! or two in my day, kiddo. you're damned right I know a thing or two.



the mach bike and acro bike are replaced by the wind horse and the shadao, respectively. I went with the wind horse on twitch chat's recommendation.

like the horses in skyrim, the wind horse can climb steep cliffs.





knowing the man in the green jacket, it's hard to tell if he's offering the ability to shapeshift, or trying to peep. I'll take my chances and hope it's the former. shapeshifting was always my favorite superpower, for obvious reasons in retrospect :D



my mom always warned me about yinye games. I only ever had brain games!! growing up, and I got super jealous of my friends who got to play yinye games. they just sounds so cool, you know? hidden knowledge the brain was never meant to handle, shone through a retention-proof lens? sign me the gently caress up, right? the recall back in '05 probably saved my rear end, though. my buddy trent had a bunch of that poo poo buried in his subconscious that came up in a dream in high school once. he had a massive nervous breakdown and had to stay in the local mental hospital for a couple months. nasty stuff, folks.







I don't really see how familiarity is gonna help me win at a game that's mostly up to random ch-

teacher! get back in the bag this instant!

in this universe, roulette is called "billiards." I mean, they both involve balls right? close enough, I guess.



maybe missingno is the one running the pokemon storage system in hoenn.



plutocrat game: where you bet your subjects' lives and win faaabulous priiizes. lord knows those dolts are expendable, right?







in the union house, you can use the wireless adapter to chat or battle with nearby trainers. a right angle is 90 degrees, or pi/2 radians.



dictionary.com posted:

potpourri
[poh-poo-ree, poh-poo-ree]
noun
1. a mixture of dried petals of roses or other flowers with spices, kept in a jar for their fragrance.
2. a musical medley.
3. a collection of miscellaneous literary extracts.
4. any mixture, especially of unrelated objects, subjects, etc.


I'd heard definition 4 before, but I guess you learn something new everyday.





oh god, I bet she's gonna end up pushing a ton of altmed stuff every time we talk



sho minamimoto posted:

any sound can beat the air, my voice beats the heart!



ah great, a deli! all these mon fights have worked up quite an appetite!



deli sounds like a 14 year old on livejournal or something.







okay, two things: first, I worked too damned hard to get the menu to just hand it off to some rando. second, how do you still need my menu if you're already calling me? this game makes no sense @_@

I figured that I needed to do some grinding before hitting up the training field (kind of ironic, that), so I went and cleared out route 117.





they're really up front about it being a mon brothel in this game.



this lowly jogger tried to resist my wind horse, but this steed stops for no man.



shezi keeps calling me to talk about his MtG decks and goes on 15-minute long rants about the intricacies of game mechanics. blocked.











I think these kids like the word "posterity" a bit too much.





energetic, you say?





I don't know if I feel good about leaving my mons with these people anymore.



who cares, we all know not to ever try our best, right?







once again, potpourri demonstrates its wizardly power.



you are very grim, person.





a what?

dictionary.com posted:

bedlamite
[bed-luh-mahyt]
noun
1. an insane person; lunatic.

thank god I have the internet to translate this translation for me.



gotta start somewhere, right?



the kind of game you never see coming.



it's nice to see that even the pokemon universe has crazy cat ladies.

route 117 mons:













cooking hfish mush be pretty easy. just season it, throw it on a pan, go play a few rounds of <popular multiplayer game> and come back in an hour to find a perfectly cooked fillet.

well, that's enough training for now, time to go hit up the training field.







a tragedy in 3 text boxes.



calm down there, dude. it's only a guitar.



I mean, this is a taining field, sir. I need to fight you to be a mon master or whatever, right?

tiequan is another pretty rough fight. my mons are all kind of under-leveled, and I didn't have anything with particularly strong ground attacks, so I had to try and brute force it.



this fucker killed a couple attempts by blowing my stronger mons to bits.



eventually, I narrowly won by way of lucky a lucky crit.





I'm kind of disappointed that the medal isn't something weird like the nike medal. oh well, can't win them all, right?

I ended up doing a bit of off-camera grinding after the stream to get my main team all up to around level 20.





I don't appreciate you talking about my mons that way, game :mad:









I also got some of my boxed mons to evolve. I was originally planning to have -tT replace ETNA, but their moveset looks pretty atrocious. maybe once I get access to evolution stones I'll see about doing something with them.





having soft feathers is always good.

that's all for this update. next time, NOETR beats up a family in their home and inhales a shitload of ash.

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Blaze Dragon
Aug 28, 2013
LOWTAX'S SPINE FUND


I see HIT TO KEY is a constant in these less-than-professional translations.

quote:


That's three gens too early!

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