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I named my insufferable spawn after a character from a lovely videogame/anime and won't stop talking about it!
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May 12, 2017 17:49
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 13:12 |
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*Desperately tries to monetize child by posting photos and videos to instagram non stop*
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May 12, 2017 17:49
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*records one episode of a podcast with husband who quietly shuts it down once he realizes he has little on-air chemistry with his wife*
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May 12, 2017 17:51
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"didnt I tell you to leave Aerith alone, Sephie?! That's it, I'm restricting your Snapchat filters for 24 hours."
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May 12, 2017 18:36
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Ask me how my HerbaBaby was declared the healthiest baby our doctor has ever seen in decades!
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May 12, 2017 19:01
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*feeds baby nothing but cold pressed vegan Jucerio juice*
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May 12, 2017 19:03
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I tried new vegan baby formula from Momtarded and HERE'S what happened
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May 12, 2017 19:08
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Gives baby whiskey to shut up Gives baby sleeping pills to shut up Takes sleeping pills to avoid baby crying Is in a polyamorous relationship
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May 12, 2017 19:08
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Forces baby to do yoga with them.
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May 12, 2017 19:08
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*tries to convince husband to be a cuckold because he doesn't satisfy me* *posts in blog how my relationship is open* *husband lowkey drops off the face of the planet* "I'm just gonna let my kids learn whats right and wrong"
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May 12, 2017 19:09
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YeahTubaMike posted:*creates instagram account for baby* *create facebook account for unborn baby, flood it with pregnancy photos* *forget to delete the account after miscarriage*
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May 12, 2017 19:15
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what does this label say on the bottom of our baby ?? *in pace picante cowboy voice* NEW YORK CITY ??
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May 12, 2017 19:15
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*eats own child*
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May 12, 2017 19:15
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Edgar Allan Pwned posted:Gives baby whiskey to shut up that's actually new parents circa 1900
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May 12, 2017 19:17
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have goons ever made a funny post about millenials?
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May 12, 2017 19:19
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ArtIsResistance posted:have goons ever made a funny post about millenials? Have you?
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May 12, 2017 19:23
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*buys diapers* *continues planning for changed financial realites*
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May 12, 2017 19:35
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Everyone I know who does not have children must not understand that raising children is challenging. I will educate the ignorant masses!
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May 12, 2017 19:40
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unpleasantly turgid posted:Have you? no I can't really think of anything funny about millenials, that's why I don't post about them. Follow my example
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May 12, 2017 19:42
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Daddy and baby have matching Little Pony onesies.
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May 12, 2017 19:43
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*uses the word adulting*
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May 12, 2017 19:53
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*stares at phone while baby wails like a banshee in the middle of a crowded restaurant*
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May 12, 2017 19:54
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*child will die in a world without hope but hey the baby pictures are cute*
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May 12, 2017 19:58
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*Agonizing over decision of naming child Jayden or Kayden*
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May 12, 2017 21:12
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*posts dozens of Facebook albums of family vacations, children immaculately dressed in matching clothes and parents smiling with arms around each other* *actually rear end-deep in credit card debt and fighting all the time*
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May 12, 2017 21:37
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*Takes baby to loud rock concerts, thinks it's a great idea* *Meets friends for a drink at busy pubs with babies and stroller* "I have just as much a right to be here as anyone!" *Vigorously complains about people "trying to punish them for having children" as they curse and trip over log jammed strollers*
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May 12, 2017 21:45
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If every thing on Lakynns first trip to Disneyland at 3 months isn't right and perfect and blessed it will be a huge embarrassing situation on social media!!
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May 12, 2017 21:53
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*Raises child according to lecture in community college gender studies class they barely remember*
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May 12, 2017 21:56
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*feeds child nothing but memes*
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May 12, 2017 21:57
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My parents gave me rules, grounding, and spankings. Well, not for MY kid! That stuff TOTALLY messed me up.
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May 12, 2017 21:59
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Well I was looking for a good let's play about changing diapers on Youtube but our neighbors' WiFi is pretty slow today..
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May 12, 2017 22:05
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*posts in GBS*
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May 12, 2017 22:07
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*owns a tiny chalkboard to give pregnancy updates* Get a goddamn dry erase board you gently caress!!!!
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May 12, 2017 22:19
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Chinatown posted:*posts in GBS* *lets 11 year old son post in GBS, gives him a trump avatar*
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May 12, 2017 22:19
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*whole life ended at 22*
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May 12, 2017 22:20
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*spends more money than is responsible on craft IPA when it becomes increasingly apparent how much like your wife's ex-boyfriend your child definitely looks like, silently cucks through life as a surprisingly attentive father until the loving SECOND this dude graduates and then proceeds to check out into fullbore alcoholism for like 15 years, then he releases a solo album* *its p good, but it helps his son get laid more than it helps him find piece with his shrewd, Pinterest-obsessed wife*
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May 12, 2017 22:31
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I'm really into owls all of a sudden
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May 12, 2017 22:32
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I ask about enthusiastic consent before I change their diaper
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May 12, 2017 22:34
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The fact that 30 y/o alcoholic computer janitors sound like old-rear end boomers complaining about participation trophies is pretty loving lol
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May 12, 2017 22:34
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 13:12 |
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I hope my baby likes Harry Potter and Stephen Universe when they grow up
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May 12, 2017 22:38
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