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*Takes baby to loud rock concerts, thinks it's a great idea* *Meets friends for a drink at busy pubs with babies and stroller* "I have just as much a right to be here as anyone!" *Vigorously complains about people "trying to punish them for having children" as they curse and trip over log jammed strollers*
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May 12, 2017 21:45
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*Understands the definition of millennial is so broad it apples to anyone born within a 25 year span* *Somehow can't understand that all members of a group might not be the same, while at the same time being a member of that group and criticizing other members of that group who are in turn criticizing other members of the group*
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May 13, 2017 00:14
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The kid is going to end up living in a beige apartment with his pet axolotl and shrewish defacto wife. Or snap and shank his tormentor in the last semester of twelfth grade with a sharpened pair of safety scissors, have an epiphany during his short stay in jail, sever contact with his parents and become a millennial hating juiced up body builder with a damaged Pitbull-cross who unconditionally loves him for who he is. I hope for his sake it's the latter.
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May 20, 2017 14:25
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Child grows up thinking it's celiac, hits 14 not knowing what real bread tastes like.
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May 25, 2017 06:20
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Len posted:When I was in junior high almost 15 years ago my dad would have been in his late 30s and he actively discouraged me from ever standing up for myself. I was just supposed to be quiet and never talk back, or go to teachers, or fight because his paranoid rear end was genuinely worried that junior high bullies would "fire bomb the house." And I mean discouraged in the yelling and getting beat way. Stick him in the shittiest of nursing homes and beat him if he complains at all, "I learnt it from you Dad!!"
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May 25, 2017 16:24
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Sic Semper Goon posted:Personally, I want the whole "unique" name fad to begin again, from classical times. "Cain, honey! We're going to speak to your teacher, the principal and the school councilor about this silly class pet issue. Look after your brother while we're gone."
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May 26, 2017 05:18
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Panfilo posted:Ask Alexa to play baby music and it'll literally play lullaby covers of top 50 hits. Is this real life serious? I can't tell.
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May 29, 2017 18:53
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sick tats brah posted:"Hey, Kylo. How you doing, bud? Dad's just gonna pop out for some D3cod3d vape juice. You...you be a good boy, okay? Be good for your mom. I'll see you guys later."
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May 29, 2017 20:07
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julian assflange posted:*rides around in rear of car checking pulse of baby at each red light* Just lol if you don't have your kid wearing a Fitbit logging xir vitals 24/7.
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May 29, 2017 20:46
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TheMostFrench posted:A lesbian couple I know named their child Xeven. Later they announced on facebook that they changed it to Zeven for clarity. Jesus, they took a Seinfeld sketch and somehow made it worse.
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May 30, 2017 00:57
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T.S. Smelliot posted:*Dr. Stares at mysterious rash with puzzled look on face* "I've seen pictures of this like back in med school but... This disease was eradicated in the US... Measles?" Has the USA/Australia has a major polio outbreak yet? I'm going to feel so bad for the kids but educated parents with their heads up their asses deserve to lose a kid if they won't vaccinate. Who will they blame, the same health authorities who were yelling at them do get the vaccine in the first place?
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May 30, 2017 15:27
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*Child dies from easily preventable vaccinationable disease acquired from childcare group* *Frantically tries to get pregnant in order to continue mommy and daddy blog* *Vows to homeschool next child, no contact with society lest tragedy strike anew* *Child inevitably kills and eats parents*
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May 30, 2017 20:34
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B. Birdsworth posted:So what's the primary indictment here? "Put down your dang phone and care for your children!" or "Sheesh millennial parents stop coddling your dang children!" ? Somehow both
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May 30, 2017 23:09
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MY PALE GOTH SKIN posted:He already asked me for a fidget spinner. Sorry mate. Leave him out in the woods and try again.
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Jun 2, 2017 05:56
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MY PALE GOTH SKIN posted:If we did that to every kid who wanted something a classmate had, we'd have like four children per 10000 adults Guys! Just found a solution to every world problem!
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Jun 2, 2017 06:58
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