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Lurdiak posted:God of War is not an rpg. Also the swinging chain mechanics have been done to death. Dante's Inferno, etc. Jimbot posted:The upcoming one is. You level up your kid. How hard to I have to mash B during the mandatory sex scene in order to unlock "existential crisis" for my kid?
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May 22, 2017 20:00
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Lurdiak posted:It's beginning to sound more and more like this whole "this is the good DC movie" thing is just a lie perpetuated by Wonder Woman fans. Yeah, I was a tad excited but I'm definitely skipping this now. The cheesing of World War 1 has definitely put me off of it. I mean, loving Mordor is basically a 1:1 recreation of Verdun. Darn Carlin of Hardcore History has an amazing 20 hour podcast epic detailing what a nightmarish end of the world event that conflict was, and they seem to totally just not care. Seconding the notion that Blackadder was a television comedy that paid greater respect to that manmade hell than this.
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May 27, 2017 15:40
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Tenzarin posted:They have statistics for negative tweets? How is this a reference for anything? Because Twitter is important, can't you see I have this little blue check next to my name? I matter on this website, so clearly it's Important.
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May 29, 2017 20:05
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Wonder Woman will be written off as another generic comic book film and compared to the Avengers in how it treats nonsuper human suffering as side-dressing (in what at the time was seen as the end of the world as we know it) to tell an ultimately unimportant and rather silly story with a largely a-historical context. (Spoiler: World War 1 actually happened because Ares tricked everyone! The bad CG and utterly unimaginative climax ending with a totally unearned villain will render the film largely a failure, and the overinvestment into multimillion dollar manufactured corporate blockbuster centered around a children's cartoon character as some sort of point for feminist struggle will lie alongside the Ghostbusters reboot as yet another failed attempt to capitalize on the social movements of the now.
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May 30, 2017 02:25
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Snowman_McK posted:There's not a huge amount of WW1 media. I mean, currently, there's a computer game, which boils down a hellish conflict into "Throw grenades at zeppelins while you're on a horse" and there's a few horror movies set in the trenches, but with the war being as awful and pointless as it was, and having a bigger budget sequel, it doesn't lend itself to popular media very well. Verdun is much more of a simulator and is actually on sale this week! Sadly no Wonder Woman DLC has been confirmed, but you can lob mustard gas at your enemies!
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Jun 1, 2017 00:07
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Ghosthotel posted:Kind of wish that if they weren't willing to engage with the hopelessness/brutality of the setting that they had just gone in the complete opposite direction and had giant death wheels rolling through No Man's Land like on those covers someone posted a few pages back. If Ares can get people to make super soldier serums and magic mustard gas then we should've gotten death wheels imo. This is what burns me out the most. If you're going to have a universe with all powerful superheroes, then gently caress it, let them gently caress up history in their own insane superhuman ways. Instead, we're shown that actually the horrors of man that are mustard gas and the brutality of trench warfare were all actually a trick of the ancient Greek God of War. Also I'm still mad we never got our modern day Kratos as God of War game. Actually, that would have been a better Wonder Woman movie than what we got. Kratos awakens in the modern day as the God of War and then that Tina Guo celloist punches the poo poo out of him as Wonder Woman. It would at least be weird and interesting, instead of "World War 1 wasn't actually a global warming of the nightmares man will inflict upon man over petty territory agreements, because Palpatine/Ares is behind it all!" Taintrunner fucked around with this message at 07:34 on Jun 1, 2017 |
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Jun 1, 2017 06:26
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Tenzarin posted:Everyone knows Kratos is the god of war. You have to admit, that would have been a pretty phenomenal tie-in/reveal. DIANA! *circle button prompt magically appears over Wonder Woman's head*
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Jun 3, 2017 19:38
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poptart_fairy posted:I really, really enjoyed the film, but drat if that first trench scene didn't take me out of things. Just like Captain America's shield, it was a little too silly to accept that every single German would be using machine guns on the exact same point of an indestructible shield. Aim a little lower guys, you would have won. One of the infinite porn parodies should do that scene but with boob armor.
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Jun 7, 2017 19:21
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teagone posted:I wish someone would name and shame the execs or whoever that were confused about the No Man's Land scene and wanted it cut out of the film/replaced with something dumb. I want to revel in the schadenfreude of the internet burning them down into ash because of how goddamn stupid they were for even suggesting to remove that iconic (imo) setpiece. Film execs are too rich and isolated to care whatever random Twitter people think. In fact, they're in the same class of people that own and control social media platforms that exploit people's most negative emotions. A self-satisfactory illusion of power in a powerless age, which again, would have been another theme the film could have touched on considering the despair of World War 1, "young men die for a rich man's war," etc etc. I've been playing through Battlefield 1 and it made me come back and want to touch on a point about Wonder Woman and why outside of a few overenthusiastic people, this isn't really a film that will be remembered, much less considered "iconic." People compare this film to a Marvel movie, and it shares the Marvel problem of not really having a meaningful villain or doing anything of interest with the setting. Battlefield 1's problem is that it tries to turn the War to end All Wars as technology and tactics changed dramatically into yet another modern military shooter campaign, however it manages to nail the emotional beats of the everyman's despair. In an early level you drive a tank across enemy lines, get bogged down in mud, and actually play as a pidgeon flying back to headquarters and looking down at the horrendous, hellacious man-made hell that you just fought through, seeing it extend for miles upon miles. While Battlefield 1 lacks any sort of superheroes or supervillains outside of about half a dozen videogame protagonists, it's far more successful at establishing the setting and the sheer vastness of it than having Chris Prine explain it to her. What follows in the now famous "No Man's Land" scene becomes comedic in comparison.  In 2017's Woman of Wonder, the virtual reality pornographic satire of Wonder Woman, there's a sequence where a German goon shoots a Luger at point blank range in an attempt to kill the Woman of Wonder. She easily deflects them with her wrists in what is clearly a tribute to 2017's Wonder Woman, except the special effects team forgot to dub in the last few gunshots, so she's essentially deflecting air for several seconds. In contrast to Wonder Woman, it becomes laughable as our heroine treads across No Man's Land, casually deflecting rounds aimed squarely at her head whilst her companions charge in after her, realizing she's "drawing fire." Then machine guns, the great terror of the war in their ability to cut down entire charges with ease, proceed to fire directly on her shield, or below her shield but to the right or left of our heroine, as her friends take up the nearby flank and lay down fire, before advancing on the German trench and effortlessly carving through them. It's also largely ahistorical to even have a "No Man's Land" considering that at 1918 the Germans were mostly on the run, thanks to the invention of tanks which were largely on the British side. It's comical considering the reality of the setting they're using and how much they handwave away the reality of it that a loving Battlefield game manages to have a more emotionally resonating sequence with a goddamn pidgeon. It's the great superhero movie problem - the constant lack of a true villain to justify as fantastical a response as a Amazonian demigod. Batman vs. Superman ends with a generic muscle monster, Deadpool has some dude with axes whose name nobody remembers, Avengers AOU has infinite robots, the list goes on. Wonder Woman has a dude in medieval armor that she defeats with love or whatever. In comic books, the best villains aren't big men who punch things really hard. They're villains with motivation, plots, and largely outwit our heroes. Evil doesn't win become good is dumb, evil wins when they're more clever than the hero. They are also largely more fantastical and larger than life than standard villain fair. Lex Luthor masterminds his way into the White House, Norman Osborne sidesteps his way into using government power to form a supervillain group, Ozymandias brings about world peace by unleashing an alien on New York City, Kingpin picks apart Daredevil's life bit by bit until he mentally breaks. There's somewhat of a stab at this in Wonder Woman, but it thematically stumbles through this with the elegance and care of a bull in a china shop. Taking the time to sit down and try to rewrite a basic outline for this movie, it should have gone something like this:  The film opens with the ancient Greek "Fates" revealing that something has gone horribly wrong with how history has diverged from it's threads, and tell the Amazonians they must prepare their greatest warriors, with cryptic metaphors about the clash of steel titans upon the mortal-made underworld - yet as the Amazonians are isolated from our world, they do not understand. Soon after, Captain Kirk shows up to warn them about the Germans invading, we have all of that sequence, Wonder Woman and Chris Pine head off to London to see what is to be done. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eO9pOlUhmPI&t=160s In our fish out of water montage, Diana comes across the White Feather Movement, a brigade of women tasked with shaming and humiliating men who haven't joined up to fight - putting feathers in their hair, calling them cowards for not being in uniform, etc. - Diana confronts them asking why have they not gone to fight as well, why are they not in uniform, and it's a fun little comedic yet enlightening bit about the horrors of war and how they intersect with the oppression of women in a supposedly enlightened society. That's truly the greatest crime of Wonder Woman - is that it doesn't take advantage of the settling and the uniqueness of World War 1, nor does it use this setting to inject some fantastical larger than life comic book villainy. We come to learn that the 1918 we know has not come to pass - the Germans have held steady and are actually gaining ground thanks to a new technological terror, the "War Wheel."  A massive terror of steel and spikes, they push back against our tanks and pave through No Man's Land as if it was little more than rough soil. Wonder Woman knows that something here is clearly wrong and that the machinations of Ares are at work here. Terrified, and unsure of what to do, the British high command send Steve Trevor and his squad to go behind enemy lines to see if there is some sort of weakness. To do so, they have to get through Verdun, and the "No Man's Land" that stretches for miles upon miles, Diana remarks that this is the domain of Hades, and a great power is at work here for the land of the underworld to be made real, a River Styx of bodies trapped out beyond the trenches. Soon after, we hear the machinations of the War Wheel in the distance, coming to plough through this sector. The men hide in the trenches, and Diana with sword and steel in hand, ready to face this steel beast of fantastical evil down. She leaps and she stabs and carves through the steel skin of the 20 foot terror, peeling the crew from their seats and casting them into the River Styx, left to flee for their lives as Chris and the rest of the line push forward, Diana holding up this absurdist steel mechanation as a giant shield, pushing it forward in order to cover the men beside her, filling their hearts with courage, and one remarks that Steve's friend is truly a "woman of wonder." *rimshot*  The God of War, who has come down from the obscurity of Mount Olympus to directly assist the Germans from behind enemy lines, catches wind of this and flies into a rage. His power comes from war, and this war, the Great War, and all of it's horror, is the source of his power - he feeds off of the needless deaths and endless slaughter, and he has planned to make this a war that will go on until the end of time, turning Earth itself into a hellacious nightmare - locking the great powers of the world into infinite overlapping treaties and then triggering a domino effect via the assassination of Franz Ferdinand - as we learn via flashback. Now that the Amazonians have caught onto his plot, of plunging the mortal world into infinite war, he is forced to forced to accelerate his plans, and gives the Germans plans for all sorts of weapons - walking tanks, floating airships, a bunch of militaristic dieselpunk nightmare poo poo which would plunge the world into a dark age of infinite war. Wonder Woman, Steve, and company push through and learn of the location of this great German manufacturing center of these horrible War Wheels and other weapons that Diana senses are what the workings of the God of War directly interfering in the world of Men. Kirk and his redshirts plot to demolish the entire complex, and understand this is likely a suicide mission. Diana's role is to carve through as many goons as she can, in a violent diversion to give cover for her comrades. The plan starts off going without a hitch, as dieselpunk mecha soldiers do their best to try and cut Diana down, as she starts to break a sweat darting around their slow, weighted suits of iron, cutting them down. Suddenly, a new foe takes the field.  Oh, poo poo! It's Kratos! How the hell did WB get this license? The mortal who killed Gods and became the sitting God of War, in a German uniform with his obnoxious golden lion fists comes charging out, and takes Diana by surprise. The two have a brutal fight, ripping the complex apart, as Kratos lectures Diana on how the Greek pantheon has become weak and left the mortal world to be conquered and how he'd masterminded a plot to turn the world into his domain via the weakness of the hearts of men. Diana decries his exploitation, and why don't you fight a real warrior, like me, a proud Amazonian woman, lifting the cannon from a fallen dieselpunk trooper and shattering both of Kratos' lionfists. He pulls out his iconic chainblades and Diana is knocked on her back feet, taken aback before remembering her training, some throwaway line from Themyscria - and she darts and dodges and swats away his fantastical flameblades, before chucking her sword into his belly, gutting him like the mortal he was born as. Obviously this fight should go on quite a bit longer than I've detailed but you get the picture - it should be fantastical and over the top, yet hard hitting and really selling the idea of two titans clashing, one overpowering the other in raw force, and forcing the other to rely on her heart, courage, and wits to slay our villain, fuckin' old-style. Walking away, Steve and his crew try to take some of the blueprints home so that the American and British empires can safeguard the world, but Diana snatches them up and burns them, insisting this is not the world you really wish to live in, exchanging one tyrant for another, and realizing the world that men lusting for power can realize when inspired by the powers of Gods and Amazonians and what not, resolves to return to Themyscria and demands that this chapter be forgotten, the Amazonians shrouded in shadow until a time when women of wonder are needed to safeguard this Earth comes again. Wonder Woman comes home a hero, having returned the world to the place it should be. Basically, my biggest problem is that Wonder Woman is not fantastical enough to be a comic book movie, and disrespects the historical setting instead of taking advantage of it in order to be a comic book movie. We don't really have a good villain, nor a meaningful challenge to justify a superhero. It's more of a confident, semi-satisfying wet fart instead of a full dump of a proper superhero movie. Taintrunner fucked around with this message at 01:10 on Jun 21, 2017 |
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Jun 21, 2017 01:06
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Vegetable posted:I wonder if the studio might have seen an early version of the No Man's Land scene because that poo poo would not be nearly as impressive without the music or CGI. Oh, it's totally doing the heavy lifting that a lot of modern movies rely on to skate by. And to answer the poster above, comic book films are fan fiction, by definition.
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Jun 21, 2017 02:21
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MacheteZombie posted:He needs a crew called "The Tolerant Left" Which results in a babyface turn of The Tolerant Left kicking the poo poo out of him for selling out to The Man. "So much for the tolerant left!" he cries out, as they bury him and seize the bookings of production, finally putting the working man over wyoming posted:By not doing this. This could have all been one shot. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79ditPebZ8g
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Jun 28, 2017 22:36
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Mr. Apollo posted:The rumors are the Wonder Woman 2 will have her fighting the Soviets in the 1980s. Diana fighting alongside the mujahideen? This sucks because it's not an adaptation of Red Son
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Jul 11, 2017 23:33
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