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business hammocks posted:Gerald's Game sounds like it would have fit right in on like a 90s "quirky" premium cable anthology that allowed/showcased boobs. Maybe even the 90s Outer Limits. I'll probably see it when it comes to the Alamo's Fantasticfest next month, just out of morbid curiosity. Carla Gugino is in it. Fried Watermelon posted:The Jaunt The Jaunt would be a fantastic "short" a la Pixar to show before the main feature. Long Walk is my dream King adaptation, preferably made by someone like Haneke in black and white, but a super hosed-up neo-nightmare Running Man would be sick.
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Aug 11, 2017 18:36
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Isn't 90% of The Jaunt just exposition? Like here's little Timmy going to the Jaunt! <insert the history of the Jaunt> OH NO! TIMMY!!!
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Aug 11, 2017 18:40
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Krispy Kareem posted:Isn't 90% of The Jaunt just exposition? Yes, and I think it would work for an episode of Black Mirror for just that reason.
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Aug 11, 2017 18:55
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What if teleportation, but subjectively way too slow?
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Aug 11, 2017 19:00
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A Long Walk movie would be a great, punchy 80-minute movie. All the conversations are varied and interesting and tie into the layered themes, there are a bunch of moments that would be really beautiful if done right, and the bursts of horrific violence (the kid's guts coming out of him in the middle of a floodlit street) would be so tasty. And cheap, too!
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Aug 11, 2017 21:13
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The fact they didn't use the first page of the DT comics as a storyboard for "the man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed" and chose to go with a black screen instead is straight up criminal. Like, the comics weren't great, but they nailed that first page.
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Aug 12, 2017 02:30
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Well, I saw it. The Maximum Overdrive trailer with Coked-Up Uncle Steve had more drama and tension.
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Aug 12, 2017 04:07
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I'm glad this steaming pile of poo poo was a critical and commercial disaster. Hopefully we'll get a proper adaptation with better direction, writing, and casting within 10 years.
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Aug 12, 2017 05:53
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Who was that hot lady in the control room with no lines who Matthew McConaughey said was hot? I assume that she and Fran Krantz had multi-picture contracts the studio wanted to pay off. Also, did Roland just leave all those kids at the top of that mesa with no way to get back to their home dimensions? That's cold.
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Aug 13, 2017 07:06
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Pac-Manioc Root posted:They should have just adapted The Gunslinger. Give creative freedom and 30 milly to an auteur who gets the source material. 200 lean, evocative pages written when King was at his coke-fueled best. That would have been a better movie or at least a less costly failure. yeah it super bums me out they didn't go this route. i'm not much of a fantasy guy but i liked the idea of this fantasy western (i wish the series had taken place solely in mid world i didn't like the earth stuff at all) and that it wasn't bloated like king poo poo outside the bachman books.
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Aug 13, 2017 12:52
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My 12 year old inexplicably wanted to go see this movie with 4 of her friends. I gave a half-hearted attempt to suggest another film, but then remembered 12 year olds have terrible taste in movies anyway. They liked it. Go figure.
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Aug 13, 2017 13:54
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Saw it, was underwhelmed by a lot of it. The sprinkle of King nods throughout bumped the mood up a little, but it couldn't sustain it. Also, I have to agree that Jake as the POV character made it feel more like a YA novel turned film than it should have. (But I did think Roland in the hospital was very telling in a subtle way, and this thread introduced me to Radio Free Mid-World and I thank whoever it was for that!)
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Aug 13, 2017 23:19
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Saw it today, was not impressed. I have only read the first book, so hopefully it didn't spoil anything too much for me if I keep going. I don't mind the things like not explaining the rat people and how they have an entire underground civilization going on Earth, but at least explain The Man in Black's motivation. Guy wants to blow up the Tower and let the darkness outside of the universe in? I get that. But I don't recall a single even throwaway line as to why he wants to do it. Also Jake as a POV character was a bad choice especially considering they rarely use him as the audience surrogate to have things explained to us. Other than that seer woman half-rear end explaining what the Shine is, I don't think his cluelessness added anything to the story. If anything he is there to explain stuff to Roland like soda and hospitals. Slowpoke! fucked around with this message at 02:39 on Aug 14, 2017 |
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Aug 14, 2017 02:37
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3Romeo posted:Yeah. "Spot-the-reference" is a really terrible way to get audience buy-in. Hey, it worked for Star Wars
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Aug 14, 2017 10:26
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Slowpoke! posted:Saw it today, was not impressed. I have only read the first book, so hopefully it didn't spoil anything too much for me if I keep going. Nooooooooooope. Movie is completely off the rails of the books, there's very little relation between them.
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Aug 14, 2017 16:45
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Blazing Ownager posted:I think once you get a story that's more than like 3 books (esp 9 books) it's time to stop with the movie aspirations - It's worked precisely ONCE with Harry Potter and that's it - and start looking for Netflix, HBO, Starz, etc. to make it into a series. Structurally, cinema has more in common with short stories than it does with novels. Novels are sprawling things that talk about all sorts of stuff, but well executed short stories have a thesis (or not) and do just that. The Gunslinger would have worked as a movie, because its basically an inflated short story. It has very few characters and is pretty much just a collection of scenes. Prestige Format television is so in right now, I have to believe that The Dark Tower got a rush job for licencing reasons, at least in part.
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Aug 14, 2017 20:58
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ZorajitZorajit posted:
The gunslinger would have worked as a movie because it's just literally "what if the man with no name from those cowboy movies was in the desert from canticle for leibowitz instead of the desert from historical texas"
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Aug 15, 2017 15:03
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OWLS! posted:Hey, it worked for Star Wars it worked for Star Wars because it's loving Star Wars and, even if you've never seen a minute of any of the movies, you still most likely know all that poo poo from osmosis. The Dark Tower doesn't have that advantage.
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Aug 15, 2017 19:02
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I see most of you know the books. I don't and it makes the movie even worse as nothing is explained properly. There are multiple worlds, but nobody knows how many? How can they not know that... Aren't there portals among all those worlds? If there aren't, how do they even know that there are other worlds? Why don't we see them, at least at a glimpse? What world is the tower on? Who built it? Is anyone repairing the damage? Why do evil guys kidnap kids from Earth when they have kids in their world? And who are they anyway? Demons? Zombies? Humans who support the evil (why)? Why does the sorcerer want to basically destroy the universe when he's already the most powerful guy? I'm sure King tied it all together nicely in the books, but in the movie it sounds totally random and unoriginal. Anyone in CC could come up with a universe that makes more sense. Also I don't like that the Gunslinger's world looks exactly like ours. If it's a different planet then at least make the sky green or animals different or whatever. This is just lazy.
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Aug 15, 2017 23:12
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Doctor Malaver posted:I'm sure King tied it all together nicely in the books, For the most part, yes. You may not like the answers to some of those questions but at least he does answer them!
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Aug 15, 2017 23:52
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Doctor Malaver posted:I see most of you know the books. I don't and it makes the movie even worse as nothing is explained properly. And they just left those kids on that mess with no way to get back to their home universes!
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Aug 16, 2017 04:39
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business hammocks posted:And they just left those kids on that mess with no way to get back to their home universes! Okay someone please explain what happens because what the gently caress.
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Aug 18, 2017 15:34
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crime fighting hog posted:Okay someone please explain what happens because what the gently caress. I can honestly barely remember but Roland saves Jake and the portal closes or gets destroyed or the base gets destroyed where they were taking psychic kids and using their brains to shoot lasers at the tower, and they just left those kids there. This movie kinda sucked but Roland was cool.
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Aug 18, 2017 16:06
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I guess if we want to be charitable Revolver Dad and Nake might make returning them their first excellent adventure but in something as insipid and paint-by-numbers it feels like a misfire not to have the feel good rescue and reunion montage in your denounment.
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Aug 18, 2017 16:09
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ThePlague-Daemon posted:I can honestly barely remember but Roland saves Jake and the portal closes or gets destroyed or the base gets destroyed where they were taking psychic kids and using their brains to shoot lasers at the tower, and they just left those kids there. This is where a shared universe wouldve come in handy. Tie " Black House" into this, rescuing the kids as the end.
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Aug 22, 2017 05:28
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Personally I don't care for movies that need other, non direct sequel, movies to resolve their subplots.
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Aug 22, 2017 05:42
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This film felt a lot like the Warcraft film, like John Carter and like Valerian. I'm not saying it's as bad as those - as others have said it's more just 'dead' than bad - but it's got the same sort of issue. The person making it has way too much familiarity with the source material and seems to think that the audience does as well. That results in tonnes of meaningless references but also them talking about things with portent that are never really explained. Granted I understand that the Gunslinger is important and people respect them. I guess the war that they lost was against Walter and...it was to stop him smashing the tower and letting in the demons? But I'm not entirely sure. Loads of the film was like this, like there's more to it that the writer didn't think they needed to explain because the people watching it already know. They do drop a few hints about how things work - for example he told that ratman in his lair to go and "put a face on" but it's very strangely expressed. More a reminder than a "Here's new information about how this world works". I thought Walter was far too stupidly evil though. His plan is the same plan as Evil The Cat in Earthworm Jim. "Destroy the universe". Okay, but why? It's fine for Evil to have no reason for it but 'real' villains don't think they're evil. They think they're doing what's right, not just pointlessly being a jerk to everyone. I didn't feel confused while watching it and it does manage to tell a story but it's almost like setting a film after all the cool things happen and now it's just the slow trudging to the end. Even what should be important is totally left out. For example at the end Idris shoots Matthew, then shoots the machine that the kid is attached to. The kid is then just next to Idris. What happened to the people who were in the room, the other skin changing guys? Did they just give up at that point and stand still while everything got destroyed? Such a confused and weird film.
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Aug 22, 2017 09:04
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Movie didn't "suck" so much as it was a half-hearted hand job given and received by disinterested parties.
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Aug 26, 2017 05:36
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I was baffled by how quickly it went back and forth from netherealm to earth and back then back again. This felt like the first two lord of the rings books condensed into an hour and a half.
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Aug 26, 2017 17:09
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This was terrible. The first Dark Tower book is boring as gently caress (and the rest aren't very good either) but holy poo poo. They could have done a way better job of turning the series into a movie/movies. Roland isn't even following Walter across the desert at the start. Walter doesn't actually work towards destroying the beams in the books, he just wants to climb to the top of the tower and see what's inside. He has some connection to the Crimson King, but he's not related to the breakers in any way.
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Aug 31, 2017 21:58
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Sammus posted:This was terrible. The first Dark Tower book is boring as gently caress (and the rest aren't very good either) Why would you even watch this movie if you have this terrible opinion? Get lost, nerd.
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Sep 1, 2017 13:47
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The first Dark Tower book is peak young cokehead Steve. I haven't read the revised version, but I'm guessing it's less nuts and therefore bad.
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Sep 1, 2017 15:31
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business hammocks posted:The first Dark Tower book is peak young cokehead Steve. I haven't read the revised version, but I'm guessing it's less nuts and therefore bad. I think he only fixed continuity errors and some scenery bits.
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Sep 1, 2017 15:56
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business hammocks posted:The first Dark Tower book is peak young cokehead Steve. I haven't read the revised version, but I'm guessing it's less nuts and therefore bad. He adds a bunch of bullshit call-forwards to the later, worse books and it is to my great regret that my copy of an early printing with all the cool glossy illo pages got destroyed in a basement flood.  http://www.thedarktower.org/palaver/showthread.php?15058-The-Gunslinger-Revised-A-Side-by-Side-Comparison
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Sep 1, 2017 17:16
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the gunslinger is his best book.
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Sep 1, 2017 17:55
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So I finally say this last night. I had read everything on here and review sites and thought ‘it can’t be that bad’ Well, yeah it was pretty bad. Nothing to add to everything else here really. It was bland, rushed, elements from the book were thrown in and discarded quickly, the portals were dumb, the fight scenes were boring and holy poo poo, that ending. The actors for the main cast were fine, but they didn’t have much to work with. I know the story is huge, but if Jackson could do it with LOTR, someone, someday will be able to take this on and do a better job.
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Sep 6, 2017 09:44
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I'm also pretty sure the first gunslinger pre-dates the coke binges. Dude was 18 and in college. As far as I know, the drugs happened after he had a fair bit of money from his first few bestsellers.
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Sep 6, 2017 10:49
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Groovelord Neato posted:the gunslinger is his best book. Yurp. Though I'm fond of IT too.
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Sep 6, 2017 11:14
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DirtyRobot posted:I'm also pretty sure the first gunslinger pre-dates the coke binges. Dude was 18 and in college. As far as I know, the drugs happened after he had a fair bit of money from his first few bestsellers. Yeah, he's on record as saying that he likes Cujo a lot, but doesn't remember writing any of it because he was so out of his face on drugs. That was post Shining, when the bank had really started to roll in.
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Sep 6, 2017 19:09
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It was Cujo? Huh. I'd heard it was Tommyknockers, which I'd believed due to how much of a mess that book is.
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Sep 6, 2017 20:21
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