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Grittybeard posted:Too close to reality to be funny is the problem. They say 9/11 killed irony, but it was really Super Bowl XXXVI.
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Jun 12, 2017 20:35
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I'm assuming the social media manager is intrinsically linked to the fans regardless of how Leperflesh adjudicates that distinction without a difference and the fans are an abomination, so Pats fans.
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Jun 12, 2017 20:51
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Grittybeard posted:Too close to reality to be funny is the problem. Literally every single Pats fan I have ever met has said to me, “Hey, I was with them when they sucked!” Not a legit excuse anymore even if you're like 60.
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Jun 12, 2017 20:54
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The world would be a better place if every Pats fan were abducted by aliens. And ejected into space.
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Jun 12, 2017 20:55
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Some very good votes here: they're all worth 3 each. Good job!
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Jun 12, 2017 21:22
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Pats Fans for being made up almost entirely of bandwagoning poo poo babies.
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Jun 12, 2017 23:18
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both are good.
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Jun 12, 2017 23:36
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Pats Fans. It is absolutely unreal the loving pretzels that Pats fans will bend themselves into in order to never dare besmirch the good name of the team. Every move is perfect. They never have a moral failing or make an error. Remember when they picked up Michael Floyd off of waivers when Arizona cut him after his DUI? When losing a million bucks would have been a fair punishment, the Pats threw him a life preserver as his still running car was sinking into an ocean of booze. And for what? Depth? And that one (admittedly sweet) block? Oh and I'm pretty sure he loving alligator arm'd to cause an interception in one of those games. Yes, the NFL is full of shitheads and felons, but the Pats pretend they are different with all that Patriot Way crap. So when they fail to live up to that, they should get poo poo over it. On the contrary, I heard a ton of townie toadies with their Wikipedia law degrees calling into sports radio that week defending the action. Half of the time, it wasn't even football reasons, talking about 'not convicted' and 'second chances' but if they passed on him and Pittsburgh took him, you know they'd change their tune.
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Jun 13, 2017 00:47
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I assume the media manager is a pats fan, so by definition a vote for Pats Fans is a vote for both.
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Jun 13, 2017 01:06
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Magnetic North posted:Yes, the NFL is full of shitheads and felons, but the Pats pretend they are different with all that Patriot Way crap. This reminds me of when all those Pats fans traded in their Aaron Hernandez jerseys after he was arrested. A few fans said that they were doing so not because he was, you know, problematic and a murderer, but because he dared to besmirch the Patriot name and get arrested for multiple murders in the same year that Mrs. Kraft died of cancer. The Patriot Way is the NFL version of St Louis' Best Fans in Baseball poo poo. Ugh.
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Jun 13, 2017 02:47
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Pats fans are gonna run away with this, so I'll save an effortpost for them later, when they have a more worthy matchup.
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Jun 13, 2017 04:05
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The Pats' social media person is doubtless following orders from Kraft and Belichick. Mark Twain describes this phenomenon better than I could:quote:FIFTY YEARS AGO, when I was a boy of fifteen and helping to inhabit a Missourian village on the banks of the Mississippi, I had a friend whose society was very dear to me because I was forbidden by my mother to partake of it. He was a gay and impudent and satirical and delightful young black man -a slave -who daily preached sermons from the top of his master's woodpile, with me for sole audience. He imitated the pulpit style of the several clergymen of the village, and did it well, and with fine passion and energy. To me he was a wonder. I believed he was the greatest orator in the United States and would some day be heard from. But it did not happen; in the distribution of rewards he was overlooked. It is the way, in this world. Pats fans have no such excuse. They aren't getting paid by the Pats to say terrible things and worship assholes like Tom Brady. They chose to do so. A man chooses, a slave obeys. Sad to say, Pats fans qualify as men.
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Jun 13, 2017 10:31
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Pats Fans
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Jun 13, 2017 14:23
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No need to let this run any longer; Patriots Fans Win, 32 to 6! This next matchup was going to be very weird, so I shuffled a few of the seeds around - 19, 20, and 21st seeds all had one Second each, so they were functionally ties, and now we don't have a Bengal up against the Bengals.
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Jun 13, 2017 18:18
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Pacman Jones vs. Donald Trump! Adam Bernard "Pacman" Jones (born September 30, 1983) is an American football cornerback and return specialist for the Cincinnati Bengals of the National Football League. He is a huge douchebag.  Zurreco posted:Toss in Pacman Jones (who was recently arrested again for assault and spitting on a nurse while in custody) and you have the two biggest dicks in the NFL ON THE SAME TEAM. Their douchebaggery cost their team a guaranteed playoff win last year. They also downplayed some of the worst hits in the game in the name of winning (which, again, they didn't). http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/football/ct-adam-pacman-jones-arrest-bengals-20170103-story.html quote:Cincinnati Bengals cornerback Adam "Pacman" Jones was jailed Tuesday on charges he head-butted police and spit on a nurse after being arrested for disorderly conduct in his latest brush with the law. Authorities said he was so combative that he had to be placed in a restraint chair. Three weeks after that story ran, we were gifted with video of Jones being a huge dick to an officer, who he promised would soon lose his job: http://www.tmz.com/2017/01/23/pacman-jones-arrest-suck-my-d-die-hotel/ Jones subsequently apologized: http://www.denverpost.com/2017/01/24/adam-pacman-jones-apology-police-video/ Notably, Jones apologized after the video went public, which was three weeks after the incident. Not, you know, before, when he knew what he'd done but hadn't suffered bad publicity about it yet. In May, Jones pled guilty to one charge of obstructing official business and was sentenced to time served - the two days he spent in jail after the arrest. http://pro32.ap.org/article/cincinnati-bengals-pacman-jones-pleads-guilty-1-count I am allowing this specific incident to qualify despite this punishment because quote:Municipal Court Judge Dwane Mallory dismissed misdemeanor counts of assault and disorderly conduct at the prosecutor's request after a plea agreement. Basically, he was only punished for obstructing police, on a plea bargain, and not for his actual assault on officers, nor for spitting on a nurse. And, the league has not yet punished him for this incident. Even leaving it aside, please feel free to look at Pacman Jones' on-field behavior for inspiration with your votes. Donald Trump President of the United States of America Donald J Trump is a douchebag of such epic proportions that it will take historians centuries to fully document it in the libraries full of volumes on his life and presidency yet to be written. However, today we must focus solely on his activities surrounding the NFL during the past year.  Sataere posted:I'm not sure if I am pushing the boundaries of this, but I nominate Donald Trump for saying that the only reason teams haven't signed Colin Kaepernick was because they were afraid of a tweet from him. http://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/18964343/donald-trump-takes-shot-colin-kaepernick-free-agent-status quote:Speaking at a rally Monday night in Louisville, Kentucky, Trump said he was reading an article about NFL owners' fears about signing Kaepernick and said, "They don't want to get a nasty tweet from Donald Trump. Do you believe that?" Trump was referring to Mike Freeman's report that quoted an "AFC general manager" as saying quote:"First, some teams genuinely believe that he can't play. They think he's shot. I'd put that number around 20 percent. This is just one GM's assessment, but it goes to the heart of the matter: actual NFL GMs believe that Trump could pile on to any team that hires Kaepernick. And as much as we may hold Trump in contempt around here, he's the president of the country and still has a strong base of support that NFL teams don't want to piss off. It makes a strong case that the president of the united states of america has actively helped to destroy the career of a player whose only crime is invoking his constitutionally-protected right to free speech. And Trump himself essentially confirmed that fact after it was reported, reassuring GMs across the league that they'd be punished by the President if they hired Kaep. Notably, Donald Trump has never publicly expressed an opinion as to whether or not Pacman Jones should still be on an NFL team. Vote! Leperflesh fucked around with this message at 18:58 on Jun 13, 2017 |
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Jun 13, 2017 18:54
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Donald Trump
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Jun 13, 2017 19:01
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Donald Trump is the worst living American bar Tom Brady. You could live a just and moral life simply by doing the opposite of what Donald Trump would do every time you need to make a decision. He is a douche.
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Jun 13, 2017 19:43
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Pacman Jones for everything I said above, everything he has done in the past, and whatever the gently caress he is probably doing right now. He is a walking advertisement that you can be a complete piece of poo poo on and off the field and still keep your job of you can tackle Antonio Brown twice a season. I hate to invoke the "think of the children" argument but young football fans in Ohio have it bad enough without this turd staying in the headlines all year long. Also everyone else in the league hates him for his attitude and dirty play and this obstinate gently caress thinks they're just haters. Trump is a douche but he has almost nothing to do with football and should be folded into the Pats Fans entry.
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Jun 13, 2017 19:44
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Donald Trump is a weird person to even be in this competition but the fact I might go the rest of my life without a day where I don't think about him is so haunting that I feel the need to say "gently caress Donald Trump" whenever possible.
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Jun 13, 2017 19:54
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Donald Trump is a megadouche but his football douche credentials are marginal. Pacman Jones is a Football Douche.
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Jun 13, 2017 19:58
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Pacman Jones, because I'll never vote for Trump, even in a douche-off.
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Jun 13, 2017 20:54
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Pacman is a lovely, dirty player, but Donald Trump is actively trying to ruin a player's career because he had the audacity to speak out against police brutality. Also, every other loving thing he did not related to football.
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Jun 13, 2017 21:19
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Donald Trump for being a human colostomy bag and torpedoing the USFL
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Jun 13, 2017 21:24
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pacman jones because Donald Trump doesn't deserve to win another Goddamn thing. Ever again. No bullshit if he were to win this tourney and someone tweeted it at him, he would say something because he is THAT vain. And he would wear it as a badge of honor. Guys, don't give him what he wants.
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Jun 13, 2017 22:38
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Flikken posted:pacman jones because Donald Trump doesn't deserve to win another Goddamn thing. Ever again. No bullshit if he were to win this tourney and someone tweeted it at him, he would say something because he is THAT vain. And he would wear it as a badge of honor. This sways me. Pacman
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Jun 13, 2017 22:56
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pacman jones because the bengals are going to represent both sides of the finals this year
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Jun 13, 2017 23:09
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Donald Trump, because Bengals aren't allowed past the first round of anything. 
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Jun 14, 2017 02:05
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Lol it's tied
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Jun 14, 2017 02:30
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Pacman because it's time to LOCK HIM UP
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Jun 14, 2017 02:40
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Raku posted:Pacman because it's time to LOCK HIM UP I'm calling this a 1-point vote. It's borderline arguable that you added something, but not really. Eli Wiggum posted:Donald Trump for being a human colostomy bag and torpedoing the USFL And I'm calling this a one point vote, which is also borderline since you gave a reason, but his torpedoing the USFL happened in ancient times and is way outside the one-year window. But Incoherence posted:Donald Trump is a megadouche but his football douche credentials are marginal. This qualifies as a three-point vote, as it contains reasoning. If anyone feels I'm judging unfairly, feel free to speak up.
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Jun 14, 2017 02:44
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Pacman "Adam" Jones I know he's a dirty player and all, and I have no love for the Bengals for keeping him, Vontaze Burfict, and now Joe Mixon. But really my reasoning comes down to why I won't vote for Donald "Mr President" Trump: Trump's douchiness in the realm of football is a one-liner in a sea of one-liners to come from him about literally anything he cares to vomit diarrhea on, which is anything and everything. I doubt he even remembers what he said anymore and if asked about it again, he'd probably ask who the hell Kaepernick is. He's long since moved on from it, while the league still has the Bengals.
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Jun 14, 2017 05:28
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I hereby retract my vote for Trump, and switch it to Pacman (if I can do so). However, I nominate Donald Trump for the Douche HoF for the sole act of killing the USFL because he couldn't get an NFL franchise.
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Jun 14, 2017 05:51
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iospace posted:I hereby retract my vote for Trump, and switch it to Pacman (if I can do so). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GcTm93YztSg&t=1s quote:However, I nominate Donald Trump for the Douche HoF for the sole act of killing the USFL because he couldn't get an NFL franchise. Good call.
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Jun 14, 2017 05:53
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Incoherence posted:Donald Trump is a megadouche but his football douche credentials are marginal. iospace covered it but his football douche credentials are pretty solid, they just happened 30ish years ago. So I guess they shouldn't count for this vote. He's so proud of winning that lawsuit though (with triple damages because of anti-trust laws the USFL was awarded 3 whole dollars). So I guess Pac Man. I don't think he's as widely hated as Zurreco seems to think but whatever, he gets my vote this round.
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Jun 14, 2017 06:16
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Grittybeard posted:I don't think he's as widely hated as Zurreco seems to think but whatever, he gets my vote this round. Read up little one.
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Jun 14, 2017 06:25
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Donald Trump should be winning this handily and it isn't even close. It's not just about what he has done for the football landscape, but the douchy way he has done it. While at the Army-Navy game, he said "I don't know if it's necessarily the best football." He's just a douche. EDIT: The Kaep statement and reading the Bellichek letter are very relevant to this year, but I fully acknowledge that he's a much stronger HoF candidate. Sataere fucked around with this message at 07:59 on Jun 14, 2017 |
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Jun 14, 2017 07:56
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Pacman because we might as well be voting for warcrimes for saying the same things Trump did while having an equally distant relationship to the game today.
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Jun 14, 2017 17:17
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Zurreco posted:Read up little one. I know who the man is and his past (which largely isn't eligible for this contest), but thanks for the link that includes articles about Manny Pacquiao and the actual pac man game and says nothing about how the league as a whole hates him.
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Jun 14, 2017 17:22
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Pacman Jones. Spitting on a nurse, by itself, is much worse than anything Trump did related to the NFL in the past year.
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Jun 14, 2017 17:52
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Full disclosure, I once spit on a nurse. It wasn't intentional, she'd just stuck a tube down my throat and into my stomach, but she was not pleased about it, she just sort of froze and gave me a look like "holy poo poo are you serious dude?" Her name was Gertrude. I'm still so sorry, Gertrude. 
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Jun 14, 2017 17:55
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