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Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

a neat cape posted:

Dean Spanos and the Spanos Family

gently caress this rear end in a top hat

Concur.

Also Jed York, Bob Kraft, Bill Belichick, and Tom Brady on the same principle.

Vincent Van Goatse fucked around with this message at 20:04 on May 26, 2017

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Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

Leperflesh posted:

These guys have not been properly nominated. While they are all obviously jerks, I need someone to say how they were doucehbags during the past year. Or maybe nominate for lifetime, but again, need some statement of what they did.

Jed York deserves a lifetime nomination for Being Jed York, firing Harbaugh, and being Jed York.

Belichick and Bob Kraft: being generally evil and also Trump.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

Leperflesh posted:

OK so, Jed York for life, Bill Belichick and Bob Kraft for DotY, right? As separate entries, or Belichick and Kraft together?

Separate.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
Trent Dilfer

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
The Pats' social media person is doubtless following orders from Kraft and Belichick. Mark Twain describes this phenomenon better than I could:

quote:

FIFTY YEARS AGO, when I was a boy of fifteen and helping to inhabit a Missourian village on the banks of the Mississippi, I had a friend whose society was very dear to me because I was forbidden by my mother to partake of it. He was a gay and impudent and satirical and delightful young black man -a slave -who daily preached sermons from the top of his master's woodpile, with me for sole audience. He imitated the pulpit style of the several clergymen of the village, and did it well, and with fine passion and energy. To me he was a wonder. I believed he was the greatest orator in the United States and would some day be heard from. But it did not happen; in the distribution of rewards he was overlooked. It is the way, in this world.

He interrupted his preaching, now and then, to saw a stick of wood; but the sawing was a pretense -he did it with his mouth; exactly imitating the sound the bucksaw makes in shrieking its way through the wood. But it served its purpose; it kept his master from coming out to see how the work was getting along. I listened to the sermons from the open window of a lumber room at the back of the house. One of his texts was this:

"You tell me whar a man gits his corn pone, en I'll tell you what his 'pinions is."

I can never forget it. It was deeply impressed upon me. By my mother. Not upon my memory, but elsewhere. She had slipped in upon me while I was absorbed and not watching. The black philosopher's idea was that a man is not independent, and cannot afford views which might interfere with his bread and butter. If he would prosper, he must train with the majority; in matters of large moment, like politics and religion, he must think and feel with the bulk of his neighbors, or suffer damage in his social standing and in his business prosperities. He must restrict himself to corn-pone opinions -- at least on the surface. He must get his opinions from other people; he must reason out none for himself; he must have no first-hand views.

Pats fans have no such excuse. They aren't getting paid by the Pats to say terrible things and worship assholes like Tom Brady. They chose to do so.

A man chooses, a slave obeys. Sad to say, Pats fans qualify as men.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

Eli Wiggum posted:

Going with ESPN for employing Trent Dilfer as long as they did

I'm convinced by this argument. ESPN for me.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
Jason Whitlock is way more toxic and douchey than jackoff boy.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
Tom Brady

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
Dean Spanos & Family

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
Clay Travis is an infected ingrown hair on the rear end in a top hat of humanity, but there's no loving way I can not vote for Pats Fans in this round. gently caress those spoiled Massholes, they are a plague.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
I don't even like Kaep very much but I'm totally voting for Kaep People.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
Frank Clark because holy poo poo. Also he's a perfect example of an rear end in a top hat douche.

Some guys are douches. Other guys are assholes. A douche is not the same thing as an rear end in a top hat. Aaron Hernandez was an rear end in a top hat which is why he was never eligible for Douche of the Year. Then there are the rare assholes who are also douches. Frank Clark is one of those.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

a neat cape posted:

Tom Brady

The Chargers front office personnel not named Spanos are fine, and the Spanos clan are represented elsewhere

If Ross says this, then who am I to disagree?

I vote Tom Brady.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

a neat cape posted:

Spanos and his ilk

What reason should I go with? Oh, I know.

How about John Spanos praising the stubhub center's video replay boards and saying how nice it was to have modern video boards, taking shots at Qualcomm and how antiquated it was.

Then having it come out that both the city and SDSU offered and reached out multiple times to the Chargers to partner with them to update the Qualcomm video boards, which the Chargers declined every time

As another San Diegan, I concur with Ross absolutely.

Dean Spanos and Family. To the :thermidor: with them!

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

fsif posted:

I respect the rationale that Travis is probably more readily described as a “douche” than a menacing domestic abuser is (and will probably employ the same rationale whenever Brady goes against a truly heinous, evil person), but Frank Clark is a monster AND a douche. Shouldn't be a blow out.

I strongly concur with this, and also gently caress the Seahawks in general. Frank Clark.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
Tom Brady

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
Dean Spanos and family stole the Chargers from the city of San Diego.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
Tom Brady, because honestly as loathsome a creature as Clay Travis is, I feel that any sort of award is just validating his existence. The worst thing we can do to him is ignore him. Also I've never even encountered a Clay Travis item or hot take outside this thread and I still am not entirely sure who he is besides "Terrible Sports Hot Take Pundit #9832".

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
House Spanos are complete and utter douchebags who robbed my city of their football team.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
House Spanos are the douche of the douche. Not even Tom Brady is as bad as them. I'm not even a Chargers fan and I hate them. They waved their shriveled rich jackass dicks at my city for years crying about how they'd have to leave if we didn't give them $TEXAS. They never had any intention of staying and I hate them. They can burn in the deepest circle of Douche Hell. I hate them.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
I'd like to nominate Tom Brady and second Penn State Fans

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Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
PSU Fans.

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