GOT: Stick them with the disappointy end

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > GOT: Stick them with the disappointy end

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

Krycek posted:

GoT is one continuous troll. The story will never be finished and any character you might like will be either be killed off or will get stuck in a perpetual circle jerk of some lovely plot line that never delivers any sort of satisfying conclusion. That said, Lena Headey is legit hot and I unironically fap to all Cersei scenes.

It's really sad because ASOIAF started out really strong and GRRM has completely petered out and lost any motivation now that he's rich and fat, as opposed to just fat.

# ¿ May 25, 2017 05:36

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# ¿ May 6, 2024 12:59

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

SCROTO TURBOSPERG posted:

Im glad he owned a lot of white middle class people into giving a poo poo about books for like a year

lol not even that, that's the irony is that this series will be remembered more for titties, gore and a dude getting his schlong chopped off than any king of literary skill in the first three books

# ¿ May 25, 2017 06:18

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

proof of concept posted:

I hope a giant steps on ~~some~~ ~~more~~ ~~people~~ everyone

# ¿ May 25, 2017 07:23

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

ElGroucho posted:

The Ice Zombies is the most boring part about the whole series. The politics and war are fun enough without adding all the zombie bullshit. I think the dragons are lame too. The less magical poo poo is happening, the more entertained I am.

I'm just gonna dredge this back up because when ever a ASoIaF discussion comes up I basically reach this conclusion. I think that this whole series was at its most exciting when GRRM and the writers couldn't just fall back on ice zombies or dragons or whatever magic to add excitement and tension to the scene. And you can see it as the books go on. Game of Thrones is all about dangerous medieval political intrigue. Clash of Kings is about how hard underclasses get hosed in wartime. Storm of Swords goes full on battle royal. Then it all get flushed down the shitter in Feast and Dance because fantasy nerds just can't handle not having dragons or zombies. Better when it was just :black101:

people getting brutally murdered medieval style.

And now I think that GRRM realizes that anything he writes for the next books will basically be compared to the show (or more likely undercut the show) and he's completely hosed for whatever his original vision was (not sure he even had an ending in mind).

Also :agreed:

with the gods thing. If there's one "magic" plot device I'll give this series it's that the resurrection from the fire dude and the witch who owned Drogo in the first book were good ways of showing what a high price you paid for trying to magic your way out of a problem.

# ¿ Aug 8, 2017 07:29

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

Zzulu posted:

I think the best part is the silence. You've just seen like a huge battle at Hardhome and it was screams and swords and death and skellymans rattling everywhere hysterically. But then the Night King just tells 'em to stop and resurrects everyone and there are no words or swelling music. It owns

I can see eye to eye on this part. I just think that ice zombies aren't needed, they're just a plot device to force everyone together and that can be done many other ways. But looking at the Night King as a kind of warlock is slightly more original than "the smartest zombie"

# ¿ Aug 8, 2017 09:13

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

Zzulu posted:

People like the Hound because he gives no fucks and has no larger rear end in a top hat agenda. He's just a grumpy gruff with a heart of maybe-gold

I remember reading in the books about how some monk said that "the hound is dead" or something to that effect but it was more symbolic, that he had let go of everything that was haunting him and finally was living in peace. Which pisses me off all the more that they brought him back to the story. Like his arc was done let it go.

Speaking of characters that got put on a bus, what happened to rickon? In the books he disappeared but iirc they killed him off?

# ¿ Aug 8, 2017 19:11

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

facebook jihad posted:

The Hound sucks

You suck

# ¿ Aug 8, 2017 19:13

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

COMRADES posted:

Agreed re the Hound.

Rickon is in Skagos with Osha (that wildling) iirc.

Jaime is likely hung from the neck until dead courtesy of Catelyn Stark.

He's gonna get fished out of the river for catelyns reveal lol

# ¿ Aug 8, 2017 19:22

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

Toadvine posted:

Osha is dead homie

see this is what's gonna be weird and why the showrunners and GRRM are hosed, because right now in the books Jon Snow is dead at Castle Black/about to get rezd, Stannis is working on retaking Winterfell while Ramsay has captured and either tortured or murdered Rayder and his lady friends. Sansa is nowhere to be seen and Dragon Lady is making GBS threads in a field. None of these events are going to line up within the show or book. All we know at this point is which characters die so there's no real tension in the writing anymore.

lol

Mr. Merdle fucked around with this message at 20:21 on Aug 8, 2017

# ¿ Aug 8, 2017 20:18

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

LanceHunter posted:

It feels like 90% of the show hate is just book readers trying to deny the fact that they've completely spoiled the plot of the books they've been waiting 6+ years to read.

This is v true but also because in spite of martins' really really weird poo poo that needed an editor he also wove a great palace intrigue story and any chance of that happening is getting squashed by lovely HBO writers but then again

:nws:

http://i.imgur.com/RYnzZkh.jpg :nws:

http://i.imgur.com/SpgNXPj.jpg :nws:

http://i.imgur.com/EfdTT3l.gifv :nws:

http://i.imgur.com/8XR1O1E.jpg :nws:

http://i.imgur.com/gjXfns9.jpg :nws:

http://i.imgur.com/mPPZmSq.jpg :nws:

http://i.imgur.com/A24uDMN.jpg :nws:

# ¿ Aug 8, 2017 21:16

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

ElGroucho posted:

The first 3 books were as close to a masterpiece as a fantasy series is going to get. Then the next 2 books were bad enough to take the whole series back to "eh"

I really thought that Martin decided things were going too well and made everyone retarded to keep the tension up instead of doing the things that they were supposed to do.

# ¿ Aug 8, 2017 21:49

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

FuhrerHat posted:

do you think the skeletons have individual kill counts and the boss skeleton has favourites?

I would. I'd even name them. Skellydave, Skellysteve, Skellylowtax...

# ¿ Aug 24, 2017 07:45

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

Former DILF posted:

From the producers of Game of Thrones comes the stunning sequel

Game of Thrones - The Quest for Old Valyra (2022)

I was actually hoping they'd go into Old Valyria. It sounds like a cool loving concept and would provide the opportunity for some neat revelations but nah let's keep loving around in Mereen for 2 seasons.

# ¿ Aug 24, 2017 11:00

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

Tinfoil Papercut posted:

Tyrion and Jorah did, they turned it into a knockoff of the journey down the Rhyone and Jorah got greyscale instead of Jon Connington.

Ahhh ok. Was it cool and good?

# ¿ Aug 24, 2017 11:16

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

EX250 Type R posted:

They're always bonin'

Probs lots of skullfuckin

Hell Yeah

# ¿ Aug 24, 2017 11:16

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

Drunken Baker posted:

Last episode a yellow Oldsmobile falls from the sky

Just like an ACME anvil, flattening Dany, Jon and the Night King. Tyrion assumes the Iron Throne, marries Bronn and hosts crazy orgies. Varys gets his balls back.

# ¿ Aug 24, 2017 11:23

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

Trast posted:

I think in the books they actually make a point that the Targs have deformities and odd hair and eye colorations. But that just could be GRRM being anime instead of showing the ravage of genetics.

It sucks that people who just watch the show will never have to suffer through Darkstar.

Lol I remember getting to that dude in the book and thinking "there's no way a dude has a name that absurd.

# ¿ Aug 28, 2017 19:14

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

# ¿ Aug 29, 2017 11:08

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

poverty goat posted:

she is gonna lay dragon eggs fyi thats the secret of why the targaryens did the incest

also cersei is gonna squirt out a tiny poo poo talking euron

That's not special ffs, I laid a dragon egg. Both in the toilet and with this post

# ¿ Aug 29, 2017 15:34

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

1st AD posted:

the books are bad and dumb

the show is bad and dumb and has cool effects and tittays

Finally a good post in this bad thread.

I enjoyed the books right up until feast and then Martin's adhd kicked in and there were about 50 different characters and 10 different plots

But I think what gets a lot of people is that while it's good that the show waters it all down and basically is full of violence and tittays, it frustrates people who read the books because this series is celebrated for being complex and thought provoking when it isn't

# ¿ Aug 29, 2017 21:55

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

etalian posted:

His best season IMO was season 2.

I liked his slow face turn also, but because the writers suck (grrm, he sucks too) they realized that having him as a good guy would make it harder for them to gently caress people over. I haven't watched the show since s4 but from what I hear he keeps waffling between wanting to bone his sister and trying to be a good guy and can't be assed to commit to either one

# ¿ Aug 29, 2017 23:30

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

Corky Romanovsky posted:

Flaming sword sounds cool, but looks like a lame glorified candle. Would be better as a tight fiercely burning torch.

You are full of poo poo and this post is full of poo poo gently caress you

# ¿ Aug 30, 2017 10:12

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

bitmap posted:

so the whole red god who appears to be the only real god wants some king to get sacrificed why and everyone ignores it nothing gets explained and cool, the end

This is one of the legit reasons why Martin will never finish this poo poo. Instead of providing just anymore info at all about R'Hllor over Feast and Dance he keeps relegating him to some kind of purgatory between literal deus ex machina and nebulous trickster God. He's really past the point where it can be explained easily. Idk where it goes from here.

# ¿ Aug 31, 2017 00:41

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

etalian posted:

HBO fires actors when they complain or demand slightly more money per episode.

Also all the money they spent on CGI battles and dragon scenes would have been better spent on more tits. I have more found memories of the parody play with Fake Sansa than anything that happend in this cheesy set piece season.

I can't remember a single battle from all of GOT but I remember Lena Headey getting banged by her bro in the first ep

# ¿ Aug 31, 2017 00:46

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

Zzulu posted:

Incest is one of the top fetishes on pornhub, specifically brother sister

I learn something every day

# ¿ Aug 31, 2017 10:35

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

Durzel posted:

Friggin A. Charles Dance is a sad loss to the show. The dude just dominated every scene he was in.

Also Michael McElhatton with his silky voice.

Now it's all bloody millenial bait. Might as well be the fucken OC.

You can actually track the shows quality by the season and how many talented actors they threw into the bin Lmao

Are they even gonna do zombie catelyn or has that plot line been abandoned too?

# ¿ Aug 31, 2017 17:56

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

facebook jihad posted:

Seems dumb to throw that in at this point. The show's almost over

Which is why it's loving hilarious to think about grrm wracking his brain to tie the plots together so that they somehow work with the show

# ¿ Aug 31, 2017 18:04

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

el dingo posted:

We have a bit of time until season 8, I propose we spend that time talking about theons zombie dick and balls

Are you really suggesting there is something better to talk about?

# ¿ Sep 3, 2017 23:22

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

-wrong thread lmao

Mr. Merdle fucked around with this message at 02:24 on Nov 16, 2017

# ¿ Nov 16, 2017 02:10

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

Yeah same here my uncle works at Miramax too

# ¿ Nov 16, 2017 19:48

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

Going to have to move on from giants now, friends.

I hope theons missing penis squashes some people

# ¿ Feb 4, 2019 21:29

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

Hell Yeah posted:

are you implying i'm a goblin?

hell yeah

# ¿ Mar 9, 2019 01:24

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

lezard_valeth posted:

I watched a clip about possible leaks in youtube and now my recommended feed decided to pop this scene and remind me how tacky the show had become

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5aO_CsqfBAo

"nO, nOw iT eNDs"

how many other terrible scenes was the 1 year gap able to purge from my brain?

Holy loly that is some baaaaaaaad everything. I think the last season I watched was where DwD ends and I'm really happy I did so. How do you even manage to do choreography that bad? And the flat, eye level shooting is just so boring.

# ¿ Mar 19, 2019 07:31

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

lezard_valeth posted:

yeah but the kingsguard thing didn't happen in the books and still felt very consistent with how the faceless man were established to operate (identify your target's weakness then exploit it) but suddenly they decide stealth is for pussies let's add more cartwheels

didn't Arya use poison coins or something for 1 of her first hits? Like that was some creative poo poo. But when your writers can't be assed to come up with anything more sophisticated then zombie dragons in flaming swords, well...

# ¿ Mar 20, 2019 22:51

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

not a bot posted:

Have to credit the writers for not including Lady Stoneheart.

poo poo like Dorne and Lady Stoneheart are gonna be the funniest things to watch GRRM try to reconcile and also shove into the closet. He's spent literally half a book on those two plotlines and it turns out that not only are they basically irrelevant to the main plot but he could have written them out entirely and nothing would be different.

# ¿ Mar 21, 2019 20:16

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

Fried Watermelon posted:

In the book (maybe the show too but I can't remember), there's a magician in one of the first cities Daenerys goes to and he's tossing fireballs like a busker on the street corner. The book mentions once the dragons or the comet appeared magic started to return to the world.

What another lame bust the red comet was. They just kind of dropped that from the story.

Tfw you have wayyy to many characters in your story so you literally forget about most of them

# ¿ Mar 27, 2019 17:51

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

Colonel Cancer posted:

When those badly CGId tree kids hit the scene, show really hit the dust. Now it's just digging its way towards the flaming core of the earth.

Much like a comet crashing to Earth

# ¿ Mar 27, 2019 18:37

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

Solice Kirsk posted:

The same show that made a poignant point about how skill doesn't beat armor, size, and numbers had her do a kip up and fight one of the best, if not the best, fighter in the entire show to a draw with no armor and a sword the size of a corndog.

They're totally bringing Syrio Forrell back at this point why not, it's not like anything you've established over the last 9 years matters

# ¿ Apr 2, 2019 18:51

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

lezard_valeth posted:

I think that the main problem with the books, aside that Storm of Swords was a hard act to follow, was that instead of sticking with what characters he had left or maybe incorporating 1 or 2, GRRM decided to incorporate a whole new cast of characters and PoV so late in the game.

Like what consequential action can Euron Greyjoy have with only 2 books left where the Sparrows, the Boltons, the Wall and Daenerys coming to Westeros plot have still not been resolved?
There is a reason why the Euron = Daario theory even acquired momentum and it's because without it Euron is loving boring and inconsequential.

Likewise in the show, Euron was introduced even later and is a cartoon villain, which is why people were eager for the "kills Daenerys and have peasants throw poo at her, then self destructs killing all major characters" leak to be true. It would at least give him something

I distinctly remember � specifically during Feast and Dance � getting the feeling that Martin didn't really have any ending in mind. He had put together this political medieval drama together and it worked really well when it was tightly wound around about 10-20 various characters with different motivations and ideologies. But then he realized that he had to pad out another four books and didn't know what to do or how to end things, so he started throwing in new plot threads and all kinds of generic fantasy bullshit (and audiences eat that poo poo up because the average person hasn't played Warcraft or Dragon Age) and that threw the whole trajectory and tone of the story off by miles.

And as I've said before, he's got too many plates spinning now to even consider finishing the next book Lady Stoneheart, the Dornish uprising and fake Targaryen heir, Tyrion and Bronn paling around Old Valyria, Cersi's power struggle in KL, Sam's trip south, Sansa and Littlefinger among dozens of others that all he could do was say "well here's the general direction, D&D, have fun."

And that's how we get to where we are today.

# ¿ Apr 2, 2019 20:55

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# ¿ May 6, 2024 12:59

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

CrazyLoon posted:

I feel like the problem with his death isn't that, tbh, it's moreso the fact that they put so little loving effort into its setup. The whole problem is with the Sons of the Harpy just ambushing a random patrol, and Greyworm - the most important loving Unsullied, just happens to be patrollin' the same neighborhood.

What would've worked a whole lot better would be if the sons actually went for a legit target, like infiltrating the Great Pyramid to try and assassinate Dany. I mean poo poo, imagine the whole sequence of them infiltrating it with inside help from slaver loyalists, slowly working their way up the pyramid, eventually getting discovered and then gradually making it all the way up the levels, fighting all along, into the goddamn throneroom, until Barristan barely manages to hold them off singlehandedly and dies in Dany's service, like he had actually wanted to. That would've made for a much more epic fight that also matters and I'm sure they could've worked that lady that worked for the sons into that initial infiltration somehow for the later payoff with Varys discovering her.

But nah, let's have the fight in some random goddamn alleyway, where Greyworm comes across the massacre during a random patrol and Barristan randomly happens to also be in the neighborhood and dies...for Greyworm, rather than Dany. *sigh* Like...forget the choreography and poo poo...that was the thing that really disappointed me with that whole thing. There was literally no setup for why I should care about it at all.

Ian McElhinney leaving the show is when it truly ~~became presidential~~ jumped the shark. And both this and the quoted post are correct. There's basically no payoff for these characters. They enter, do nothing, and then exit or die with no consequence and now the writers have just wasted our time. Most of this seems to have been done to pare down the cast to the prettiest and blandest actors and actresses so we can finally get to the zombie dragon fight.

# ¿ Apr 3, 2019 18:08

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