Things you could say to someone whose child is being eaten by a sea lion

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Piso Mojado

Oh the Humanatee!

# ? May 27, 2017 06:40

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# ? May 6, 2024 07:27

vanisher

Cowabunga!

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# ? May 27, 2017 06:49

vanisher

By the laws of the ocean, you must now raise that sea lion as your son.

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# ? May 27, 2017 06:53

Macnult

Check out that Sea Draggin'

# ? May 27, 2017 06:58

Starshark

Loose seal! (that's one for the fans)

# ? May 27, 2017 07:38

Chillanese

they say the sea lion is the king of the seajungle

# ? May 27, 2017 09:01

Doctor Dogballs: driving the fuck truck from hand land to pound town without stopping at suction station

hey tell ur kid to quit lion around in the water

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"The Bad Boy of Comics"

# ? May 27, 2017 10:18

Ultra Spoot

Don't worry, I've trained for situations exactly like this. *bursts into laughter and slaps them on the shoulder* hahaha just kidding, your kid is hosed!

# ? May 27, 2017 15:22

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

Your child is a Sea World prodigy! Shame her career's not gonna last past lunch

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
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# ? May 27, 2017 19:41

A Great Big Bee!

oh boy i sure hope that sea lion stops eating that child, ideally immediately but really at any point before there is lasting physical or psychological harm will do

# ? May 27, 2017 20:15

RealityWarCriminal

hey. stop being eaten by a sea lion.

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# ? May 27, 2017 20:39

cda: by Hand Knit

I feel your pain. My son died when he was suffocated by a parka that was too large for him

# ? May 27, 2017 21:41

cda: by Hand Knit

I believe that's a sea lion, not a seal. You can tell by the flippers. They're both pinnipeds though. Means "fin footed." Anyway I bet you'll have more luck screaming about a sea lion eating your child because right now everyone is looking around for a seal.

# ? May 27, 2017 21:43

google THIS

I guess you could say his fate...is sea lioned. Wait.

# ? May 27, 2017 22:09

cda: by Hand Knit

google THIS posted:

I guess you could say his fate...is sea lioned. Wait.

Lol

# ? May 27, 2017 23:02

joke_explainer

Man, I don't know. I'd hope: "Your child is being eaten by a sea lion!! We've got to try to stop it!!" but maybe just like, "AHHHH WHAT THE gently caress!!!"

# ? May 28, 2017 00:54

cda: by Hand Knit

The year is 1900. The place: Lubeck, Germany. The someone: Klara Hitler.

Now what do you say to someone whose child is being eaten by a sea lion.

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# ? May 28, 2017 01:56

Robot Made of Meat

"I would compare this situation to being kissed by a . . . .

"Oh gently caress. Sea lions again! Curse you!"

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

# ? May 28, 2017 02:17

Plebian Parasite

"I didn't even know they could go after people, /r/todayilearned is gonna love this."

# ? May 28, 2017 02:43

Tater Tot 13: Making the best of a goon situation.

Sorry your kid is being eaten by a sea lion. I hope they get well soon.

Adopted by Jack Frost 9/19/06

# ? May 28, 2017 04:54

Tunicate

At least it isn't a land lion

# ? May 28, 2017 09:39

Dads Dip Cup

sir did you not read the sign that clearly states "please do not feed the animals"

# ? May 28, 2017 10:06

cda: by Hand Knit

Tunicate posted:

At least it isn't a land lion

Legitimately good point here

# ? May 28, 2017 14:21

cda: by Hand Knit

If there were air lions, we would be in a lot of trouble, so be glad he's being eaten by a sea lion

# ? May 28, 2017 14:22

A Great Big Bee!

what a bad dog

# ? May 28, 2017 14:32

cda: by Hand Knit

sometimes when there's a bad situation you don't exactly know what to say, which is why they have greeting cards

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# ? May 28, 2017 14:49

Hogge Wild: by FactsAreUseless

holy shiit what is going on

holy shiit

piiiss

it is crazy

it's so hot in here

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# ? May 28, 2017 15:45

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

cda posted:

sometimes when there's a bad situation you don't exactly know what to say, which is why they have greeting cards

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
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# ? May 28, 2017 15:50

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

...at least it wasn't my fidget spinner

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
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# ? May 28, 2017 16:02

GotDonuts: Karbohydrate Kitteh

Whoo! Look honey we can now spend the college savings from that little twerp on booze and lotto tickets!

# ? May 28, 2017 17:12

vanisher

cda posted:

sometimes when there's a bad situation you don't exactly know what to say, which is why they have greeting cards

_{Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext}

# ? May 28, 2017 17:35

Scroon

cda posted:

sometimes when there's a bad situation you don't exactly know what to say, which is why they have greeting cards

# ? May 28, 2017 19:15

Scroon

It's the ciiiiiiiircle of life...

# ? May 28, 2017 19:16

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

bro, your kid is getting ate by some sea lion

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? May 29, 2017 21:01

Impkins Patootie

# ? May 29, 2017 21:33

Sham bam bamina!: ƨtupid cat

Dads Dip Cup posted:

sir did you not read the sign that clearly states "please do not feed the animals"

classic

# ? May 29, 2017 21:59

Android Blues

I'm sorry for what you're going through. I want you to know that I've been calling all the zoos in town to see if sea lions have any natural predators that could maybe eat the one that ate your son, squeezing him out of its big soft mouth due to the pressure.

# ? May 30, 2017 00:01

Android Blues

Someone's now telling me that when things are eaten, they die. I didn't understand this, and so you can see how from where I was at, the plan of action about the zoos looked good. I'll keep thinking.

# ? May 30, 2017 00:03

Starman Super DX: This title text is surprisingly sturdy.

Hey, so your baby is probably dead

and I ain't lion!

Tell me more!
btw ty Birdcon for the sweet spring sig

# ? May 30, 2017 00:10

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# ? May 6, 2024 07:27

Piso Mojado

Android Blues posted:

I'm sorry for what you're going through. I want you to know that I've been calling all the zoos in town to see if sea lions have any natural predators that could maybe eat the one that ate your son, squeezing him out of its big soft mouth due to the pressure.

Android Blues posted:

Someone's now telling me that when things are eaten, they die. I didn't understand this, and so you can see how from where I was at, the plan of action about the zoos looked good. I'll keep thinking.

# ? May 30, 2017 00:15

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Things you could say to someone whose child is being eaten by a sea lion

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