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THIS SHOW IS NOT A SHOW OF HONOR. GO WATCH SOMETHING ELSE INSTEAD. America's Got Talent is an NBC competition show, where a variety of Of course, we need some judges and a host.  We have: -Howie Mandel, comedian/gemophobe from Canada -Mel B, former Spice Girl and singer from the UK -Heidi Klum, model from Germany -Simon Cowell, producer and music man from the UK. Also involved with Britain's Got Talent Sadly, Nick Cannon resigned his position as the host this year, so we instead have model Tyra Banks taking over. Auditions begin tonight at 8PM EST, and the show airs Tuesday and Wednesday throughout the summer. Expect a bunch of good acts, bad acts, sob stories / INSPIRATIONAL MOMENTS, and at least one act to go through to the live shows courtesy of a Golden Buzzer by the judges. Look forward to Howie Mandel's pick making it the farthest. Preview of the show: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Opr_uoVlF8 somekindofguy fucked around with this message at 01:45 on Aug 24, 2017 |
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May 30, 2017 15:51
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Show has started. If you miss anything, NBC will have it on their site tomorrow. We already had two women show off their chicken, and it played the piano. Insert twelve inch pianist joke here. Also, Simon thinking a comedian ad-libbed a joke. Because that's how it works. Followed up with a singer, an "escape artist", and a brother and sister salsa duo with a "special bond". Please don't be the anime definition of special. -Magic man, and a Trump impersonator. Mel is a globalist shill apparently... or is it (((Mel B))) now... ...and this just took a weird turn. Busts out into Bruno Mars. This is acceptable. somekindofguy fucked around with this message at 02:15 on May 31, 2017 |
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May 31, 2017 01:18
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kazmeyer posted:Puddles Pity Party is the best. I definitely have to check out more of his stuff after that. For once, a singer that doesn't make me morose. And then we end on a ventriloquist...who is actually a kid singer. We've been had God dammit.
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May 31, 2017 03:01
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Ping for the next round of auditions tonight. I'm not sure if it's 1 or 2 hours tonight, but same deal as last week. If you miss anything, clips will likely be up tonight or tomorrow morning. Comments: -Dog counting to a number by barking. How does one even train a dog like that? By scent? -Dance act rocking the boat, and then a guy I will refer to as Jason Mraz. Yay mute. somekindofguy fucked around with this message at 01:28 on Jun 7, 2017 |
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Jun 7, 2017 00:59
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And we just got a guy dancing with his RealDoll, so there's that. And...oh, some person on Stormfront just had a stroke. somekindofguy fucked around with this message at 01:47 on Jun 7, 2017 |
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Jun 7, 2017 01:44
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 I heard people mention this guy was a YouTube celeb. Not really a Vegas thing, but interesting. Skating act from the British version of the show. Speaking of which, is the UK version any good? I might want to check it out in the off season. Child singer. So precious. Finals. gently caress me. Two speechless muscle bound brothers? What, they aren't going to fuse into one giant muscle man? Colin the mentalist: Yeah, that totally wasn't planted at all. Kitty though  And of course, we end on a deaf girl with a ukulele. Are we really getting all the golden buzzers stacked with singers again? Piss up a rope Simon. somekindofguy fucked around with this message at 02:58 on Jun 7, 2017 |
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Jun 7, 2017 02:00
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InsensitiveSeaBass posted:NBC's gonna ride this one all the way through to the finals. How'd that other ukulele girl do with her Vegas show? Seems like it did well. She was on the Christmas special as well and she's got a full album coming in the future, but we'll have to see if the hype has worn off by then. We have another two hour episode tonight. Please no more golden buzzer singers thanks
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Jun 13, 2017 23:45
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Show is on. About thirty minutes before a singer, it's been mostly acrobatics to this point. Singer is a plane crash survivor from Nigeria. Yay finals.
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Jun 14, 2017 01:35
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A Big Dark Yak posted:I tuned in just in time to see Heavily Scarred Plane Crash Singer take the stage. I'm sure they pre-screened to make sure she was at least somewhat good, and she has a truly tragic backstory, but can you imagine if she sucked and got an X? Even just one judge not being sold on a singer would be a shocker for me. I know some folks have been through legitimately awful poo poo, but it gets drowned out by my "another sob story?" reflex. It's not their fault, I lay that on the show runners for hyping up those types of acts. I would LOVE to see a straight-up good singer without some inspirational or tragic baggage (i.e. Puddles). Given how the stories help the audience connect to acts, I'm not holding my breath. I would also expect the golden buzzer at the end of the show as well. Oh hey look, virtual magicians. EDIT: Is that THE dancing pumpkin man? Cousin of the Rock and Roll Pumpkin? God what hole did he crawl out of? Question is, can the dance be set to any track? somekindofguy fucked around with this message at 02:45 on Jun 14, 2017 |
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Jun 14, 2017 02:03
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gently caress me it's going to happen again. God drat all of the judges.
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Jun 14, 2017 02:55
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Ping for week 4 of the auditions. One more Golden Buzzer from Heidi and maybe one for Tyr as well. One will be a singer. At least. So does the audience not see this guy is lip syncing? Are we sure he's actually playing the keyboard? somekindofguy fucked around with this message at 01:18 on Jun 21, 2017 |
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Jun 21, 2017 00:50
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But you don't understand, this is the best season of AGT ever... Oh wow, I'm a little surprised right now TBH. Too bad the non-singing act is a clone of iLuminate. Thanks for breaking it up though Tyra.
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Jun 21, 2017 01:30
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That was almost too much diddly for Mel and Simon. And magic guy had to be plants? I didn't catch if he messed with Tyra's phone at all, but that math could be massaged. Oh hey, I think this guy is a legit Ringling Bros. clown or something. I recall his name from an article a while back. somekindofguy fucked around with this message at 02:40 on Jun 21, 2017 |
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Jun 21, 2017 02:14
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Week 5 of the auditions on tonight. Heidi's golden buzzer as well I'd assume? So kid magician who wasn't too bad, balancing acts, singing trio and dancing cop. Mixed bag so far. Yeah, kind of a mixed bag with the dog act and second-chance singer. The Russian guys might at least fill a slot similar to the Kristef brothers. And we get a magician that was on Fool Us. If you like magic, I would highly recommend that you check it out. somekindofguy fucked around with this message at 02:44 on Jun 28, 2017 |
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Jun 28, 2017 01:01
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Last week of audition shows tonight, then we move on to judge cuts for a few weeks with some guest judges. One thing that strikes me is how Tyra seems to be more out of the way than Nick is as a host. She hasn't really gotten involved with too many of the acts, has she? EDIT: GOD drat ALL OF THESE JUDGES Done with the show for tonight. Enjoy. somekindofguy fucked around with this message at 01:36 on Jul 12, 2017 |
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Jul 12, 2017 01:03
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Okay, singers aside, tonight begins four weeks of "Judge Cuts". Each week, 20 or so acts perform and are whittled down to the set that go on the live shows. We also get a series of guest judges, who have a Golden Buzzer of their own. Last year, the guests ended up picking non-singing acts, so I'm hoping that holds this year. First up is Chris Hardwick of various nerd things. Sadly, no one will be getting points. EDIT: Bog standard so far tonight, but Pumpkin Man is on if you want to see. "Fifty points to Gryffyndor"...I stand corrected. Property damage for a trick was neat though. somekindofguy fucked around with this message at 01:44 on Jul 19, 2017 |
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Jul 19, 2017 00:17
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Chris Hardwick is a horse fucker. See you next week.
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Jul 19, 2017 01:53
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Round 2 of Judge Cuts tonight. Three more singers coming?
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Jul 26, 2017 00:57
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DJ Khaled is a horsefucker. Goodnight.
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Jul 26, 2017 01:51
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I think the Vegas show is more of a "three night headlining in Vegas" than a full guaranteed thing nowadays, but there usually is some sort of contract that follows anyway. Laverne Cox is the guest judge tonight. We allegedly have a stacked show tonight, but if the singer gets the golden buzzer again, I'm out. Also, there are 20 acts competing for seven spots, just in case you forgot.
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Aug 2, 2017 01:03
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Laverne Cox is a horsefucker. Are we seriously getting more than half the spots going to singing acts tonight?
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Aug 2, 2017 01:53
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IRQ posted:I haven't seen the episode yet but I'm sure Howie loved the hell out of this. Laverne Cox is from a series called Orange Is The New Black, and she was the guest judge this week. I'm comparing her to Mike Pence, along with the other guest judges, because they keep using their Golden Buzzers on singing acts (Tyra being the only exception this season). This is frustrating to me. Any questions?
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Aug 2, 2017 16:54
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Get ready, last of the recorded shows before the lives next week. There may be some wild card acts in the live shows, so maybe an act people like will be back. I also hear there is a singer who survived a plane crash tonight. All the judges have been letdowns so far with the golden buzzers, so I don't expect much from Seal.
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Aug 9, 2017 01:03
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These judges suck this year. Good night.
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Aug 9, 2017 02:17
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Oh right, this was on. Fell asleep early and missed it. Thank god for YouTube clips, they cut out a lot of the bullshit. Nice to see Bello back. The singers were...singers, though Christian seems likely to go home. One of the two nine year-olds will likely be cut in semis.
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Aug 16, 2017 11:35
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GOD drat kid dancers got gassed. Singers ain't going home are they Preacher double KOs Trump and Puddles. somekindofguy fucked around with this message at 01:22 on Aug 17, 2017 |
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Aug 17, 2017 01:18
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Gee I wonder who is going through OF COURSE IT'S BOTH YOU HACKS AMERICA NEVER SENDS THE GOLDEN BUZZERS HOME Also, thanks to the dudes in the AGT reddit commenting on Tyra's cleavage. AND MOTHERFUCKER BELLO GASSED TOO somekindofguy fucked around with this message at 01:43 on Aug 17, 2017 |
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Aug 17, 2017 01:40
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And Just Jerk got axed for two singers. Simon's going to have a good wank tonight.
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Aug 17, 2017 02:23
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Ping for round 2 of the quarterfinals tonight. Prepare the lube!A Big Dark Yak posted:Would a "Total Talent Eclipse" mean that all the talent is entirely obscured by something else getting in the way that gives off no light of its own? But enough about Simon Cowell's ego 
somekindofguy fucked around with this message at 01:05 on Aug 23, 2017 |
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Aug 23, 2017 01:03
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As a note to tonight, some folks on the AGT subreddit might be trying to campaign for Mirror Image to get through (in a Sanjaya style vote for the worst attempt) or Merrick Hanna (because he posts in reddit just like us~). I imagine at least one will fail. This kid is not knocking my socks off TBH.
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Aug 23, 2017 01:16
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You're letting me down here Eric. Better than the Yang Yang Twins at least.
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Aug 23, 2017 02:07
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BULL-poo poo! The only non-singing Golden Buzzer and they get technical difficulties? What the Christ?
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Aug 23, 2017 02:17
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I am so sad your dad has cancer, I didn't even here the song
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Aug 23, 2017 02:34
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FIX YOUR poo poo AGT GODDAMN I'm not even voting tonight after this shitshow. somekindofguy fucked around with this message at 02:59 on Aug 23, 2017 |
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Aug 23, 2017 02:42
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Yes, two acts had major technical fuckups. And Mel threw water on Simon again. And the singers are so aspirational just put a bullet in my head goddammit
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Aug 23, 2017 03:05
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*into microphone* cancerrrrrrrrrrrrrr Is everyone on this thread a shill for Merrick Hanna somekindofguy fucked around with this message at 01:09 on Aug 24, 2017 |
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Aug 24, 2017 01:07
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Of course the golden buzzers AR ehever going to leave...that's not how it works a r ll you stupid assholes!!!!! WHY WOULD YOU THINK ANYTHING ELSE????? ARE YOU STUPID??????? YOU GODDAMN IDIOT!
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Aug 24, 2017 01:42
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Didn't stop Celine from getting through. A buzzer might be more likely to be a kiss if death than a negative comment after a performance IMO.
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Aug 24, 2017 03:31
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America's Got Shitgoblins has it's final quarterfinal tonight before two rounds of semifinals. Are they going to try and separate the two nine year old singers into two episodes? Probablt, don't want people catching on.
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Aug 30, 2017 00:56
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I might like to see Simon get stabbed for reals. The act was a little long though I suppose.
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Aug 30, 2017 02:02
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