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Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
Marshawn had his first press conference and it loving ruled.

https://youtu.be/4wfm8d0FO4Q

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Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
Nick Foles has had the weirdest career.

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

Kalli posted:

Personally my suspicion is that Chip Kelly is a very good offensive coach and a poo poo awful GM.

That alone doesn't explain it. Foles year with better than Manning numbers is a crazy outlier no matter how you slice it.

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
Since 1970, 3 men have thrown for 7 touchdowns in one game. They are first ballot hall of famer Drew Brees, first ballot hall of famer Peyton Manning....And Nick Foles.

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

My friend lived in some ridiculously overpriced apartment complex in Philly that had a movie room/theater hooked up with cable. For that game we reserved it, got super drunk, fried up wings, and watched history happen. One of my favorite Philadelphia memories.

It was a goddamn nightmare.

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

I laughed really hard at this thought, but not at you. It's funny how football really is a zero sum game.

There was a stretch there where they had something like 6 straight drives end in a touchdown and it was the longest moments of my life. It just never ended. Every loving time. Every loving time, oh god.

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

Blitz7x posted:

I'm so salty still. I closed the GDT, went to Target or something and snapped at the poor cashier because I'm a child

Then Amerson, the one person on D who made a play all game long, got a concussion. Probably bottom 4 Raiders games I've ever had to watch. Only ones worse I can think of are the jets game where mark Sanchez was just chilling in the sidelines eating a hot dog by the 3rd quarter, the tuck rule game, and the super bowl.

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

Blitz7x posted:

Cutler's debut
Falcons 08
Giants 09
Pryor KC game

Jets 09 was way worse than giants 09. And I was at the Pryor kc game and I was perhaps the last person out of the stadium. I couldn't leave. I had to bear witness.

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
I remember exactly where I was when I watched that game. With a bunch of neutral fans who were just laughing and laughing at me. Same situation with the oh gently caress jon condo is hurt game.

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

Ehud posted:

Olivier Vernon got more than that and Ingram is arguably better :shrug:

That's ridiculous free agency pricing though.

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

warcrimes posted:

At least when Mack sets the record it will be worth every penny

Yeah, definitely beats the hell out of paying gently caress you money for like, Bruce Irvin.

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

Nodoze posted:

Don't forget Jamarcus Russell, he got pretty fat too

He came to camp over 300.

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

weird Asian candy posted:

Makes sense. Is it against the rules or CBA? I would just think teams would go out of their way to make sure their guys (investments) show up in the manner they think they should for OTAs but guess not :shrug:

Almost 100% sure coaches aren't allowed to speak to players outside of certain designated times, like during OTA's.

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

FizFashizzle posted:

I'm telling you, it's a non issue. It sounded really good for the nerd football fans who were all excited about kelly changing the nfl, and maybe you can tell an 18-22 year old person how to eat.

But you're not going to go to some five year nfl vet and tell him to drink a milkshake. That's loving ridiculous.

Someone that can't stay in shape will not be in the league, plain and simple. There isn't a single player that stopped getting fat that I can think of. Lendale White, Jamarcus, now Benjamin, all ate/are eating themselves out of the league.

Justin Houston or some Chiefs d lineman was always overweight. So was dwayne bowe.

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

Can't get enougha this gangsta poo poo

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

Shimrra Jamaane posted:

It's a loving crime that Moss never got a ring.

Well he is a piece of poo poo, so there's that.

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

Eli Wiggum posted:

oh no he left your precious raiders

He buckles like a belt at the first sign of adversity and takes out the frustration of being a coward on people who serve him food.

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

CharlestheHammer posted:

The adversity of being on a lovely team with no future.

:qq:

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
Try making $25k a year at a company that's barely staying above water. Have some real problems.

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

CharlestheHammer posted:

Dude made money!

How dare he have feelings about things!

Quitting on your team and fans is not a feeling. It is an act. Request a trade or wait til free agency. Don't sit there and pout in the middle of games like a toddler.

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

a neat cape posted:

A disgusting act?

Nah, just a pathetic one. Ripping apart caterers was p disgusting tho.

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

Amy Pole Her posted:

I was talking to Randy Moss not Volker who gives a poo poo if Volker does well or even dies? Nobody!

How many touchdowns has HE even caught?! None!

Neither has NFL leading scorer Morten Andersen. It is a team game.

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

Amy Pole Her posted:

Stedman Bailey was identical to Jarvis Landry in college

God I'm sad he didn't get a chance

He did get a chance.

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

sharknado slashfic posted:

Wtf I had no idea Stedman Bailey got shot in the head. How did I miss that.

Who were you aiming for?

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

SKULL.GIF posted:

It's cool that Colin Kaepernick got blackballed from the NFL for daring to protest the repeated and sustained extrajudicial murder of black Americans.

A lot of players have and are still in the league because they don't suck.

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

CyberPingu posted:

There are worse QBs than Kaep that are still in the league with backup and possibly even starting jobs.

There's not many worse pocket passers. He doesn't fit for a lot of teams. And no, he got beat out by Blaine Gabbert. If that happens to you, you're not exactly bringing a team competition.

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
It'd be a lot more clear if he didn't actually suck rear end. As it is, there's a ton of "Michael Sam was the SEC player of the year!" bullshit floating around.

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

Flikken posted:

He played well enough in certain schemes that he absolutely could/should have found a job by now. Michael Sam never made a 53 man roster, Kaep played at a high level for a period of time, even Tebow with how bad he looked got far more chances than Kaep is getting.

Decker is still out there. Free agency is still going on. That a player hasn't been signed as this point doesn't inherently mean he won't, or that teams are refusing to sign him. And Tebow got signed right before training camp once or twice. The thing with kaep is he has always been a more effective running as a qb than as a passer. So a lot of teams will value a lovely pocket qb over a lovely kaep just because they fit their team better. Especially if lovely pocket qb has already been on the team for a few years and knows the offense. What team is kaep legit a good fit for that needed a backup that didn't sign him?

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

Kalli posted:

Kaepernick sucked so bad he threw 16 TD's to 4 ints last year on an offense where the best receiver was Jeremy Kerley

News to me. He was putting up garbage stats last I knew.

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
Yeah in 2015 he was horrible, and got outright benched for Gabbert. He was actually alright last year tho?

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
Lol somebody said Carr is bad under pressure

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
Manning 2 Harrison was the best quarterbackin I ever seen.

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

Gatts posted:

At this point turning Cleveland into a championship team is the ultimate gently caress you to the world. I hope Brady comes with him for the hell of it just to hang on the sidelines and bro out

Lol if you think those two would ever do anything cool. They're cheaters and crooks.

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

SKULL.GIF posted:

https://www.si.com/nfl/2017/06/28/clinton-portis-financial-ruin-where-are-they-now


If you ever strike it rich by some stroke of fortune don't bother with "financial managers". They will suck you dry.

That's some Lonnie Smith poo poo

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

Eifert Posting posted:

Gary Indiana and Flint Mi give it a tough challenge though...

I don't think there's even a green zone in those cities.

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

a neat cape posted:

I wish my team choked in a superbowl

They did!

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

a neat cape posted:

You must have a pretty generous definition of choking

San Diego was never even in that game

That's because they choked on the big stage.

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

Durandal1707 posted:

It isn't a choke job if you get curbstomped from the jump. Much like the Raiders in SB37

That was an inside job.

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
Roethlisberger

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Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

I would be pretty skeptical of those self-reported numbers if I were you. I used to be the king of hyping up breakout years for players when I did fantasy football and it is loving NEVER the guy anyone thinks it is. It's always some doofus who just happens to have a natural ability to get open.

I mean, last year it was loving Terrel Pryor.

I called that.

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