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oh my christ i was so onboard until i saw the ingredients, gonna have to wait for the next grocery run this weekend, because somehow i don't seem to have any of that poo poo in stock i don't even have buttermilk to make ranch e: defs would tend towards making my own ranch dressing with the assumption that ranch = buttermilk + mayo + spices, is this acceptable to the judges, or do i need hidden valley specifically, or onions and other american garbage in general e2: actually let me withdraw that, we're doing this poo poo old school, and if hidden valley ranch kills the dish, that dish deserves to die Duscat fucked around with this message at 04:43 on Jun 9, 2017 |
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Jun 9, 2017 04:31
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| # ¿ Apr 28, 2024 08:54 |
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Aspiring Iron Chef Duscat has once again taken the time to write a beautifully calligraphed menu! Surprisingly, there are only two listed dishes this time, perhaps the chef is planning a surprise? Back to you Fukui-san! 
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Jun 10, 2017 02:56
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mormonpartyboat posted:this is going to be a loving circus in the kitchen so im actually doing up a cooking order lmao lol i may have to buy a goddamn deep fat fryer
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Jun 10, 2017 04:02
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 today we prep     tomorrow we dine in hell! e: just received hell's Sunday menu! Tempura Mushrooms with Hot Ranch Stuffed Poblanos and C-SPAMish Rice Cornbread with Lime Ranch Butter Deep Fried Jello, Game Store Flavor Duscat fucked around with this message at 22:28 on Jun 10, 2017 |
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Jun 10, 2017 20:25
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mormonpartyboat posted:i dont even know what deep fried jello is yeah i thought of it when i was drunk, but upon googling, it turned out that the deep fat fryologists at the Texas State Fair actually discovered it just last year after scouring the internet for recipes and trip reports, and although i could not find all the recommended ingredients on such short notice (goddamn HEB apparently doesn't stock agar anymore, what the hell), nor do I have a deep fat fryer, I will attempt this if i die, bury my remains in Bee Cave with a dozen furbies, all aligned 69 degrees from true North, for future archeologists to puzzle over
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Jun 11, 2017 03:17
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Jun 11, 2017 20:07
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First, we prep some accompaniments. Lime ranch butter is exactly what it sounds like:   We need some chili powder:    And a dip for tempura:     [timg]It starts out as teriyaki, then into Teriyaki Ranch, and finally Hot Ranch. Now it's time to cook! Let's get a cornbread going:     I forgot to get buttermilk, so we'll cheat with milk and lime juice, but first the cornmeal needs to soak in the milk for a while. We reserve a little bit of it on the side to mix the baking powder and soda in. A cast iron pan goes into the oven to heat up. Also, we get things together for Cspamish rice, but then remember we need to do something else first. First, dice up the onion and garlic.       Brown and season some ground beef for stuffing, and set aside. Then back to the rice:     Get some of that very beautiful chicken fat off the top of the stock and cook up some onions. Then sautee the rice, add chili powder and garlic, and into the rice cooker it goes!    Add chicken stock and some ranch seasoning. As is the C-SPAM tradition, a tomato goes on top, accompanied by some thyme and oregano. Push butan. The cooker will handle the rest and keep the rice nice and warm for as long as it takes to get the rest together. Now back to stuffing peppers.       We grate a mix of Cheddar, Mozzarella, and Gruyere, chop up some cilantro, and coarsely grind a new ingredient: Salsa Verde flavored Doritos! Hollow out the peppers (small tongs work great for pulling out excess pith) and then stuff them up but good. A couple of toothpicks to hold the caps on and a nice oil coat is applied and they're ready for the oven. So's the cornbread:    This pan is now at 400 degrees, so we take care not to grab with our bare hands, although every few years we forget and then we get to wear a single cotton glove like Michael Jackson for a few days. We melt a couple of tablespoons of bacon fat in it, then pour most of it into the batter, leaving the pan nicely greased. Also, in quick succession, the lime juice goes in the batter, and then the remaining dry mix, and then the whole foaming mess goes in the pan and in the oven. Just a couple more things to prep now:      We make two batters, a rice tempura augmented with Doritos, the other a thick batter of Mountain Dew and Doritos, with rice flour to hold it together. We set up a fry station. Our main dishes are done! Pull them out and quickly fry up our mushrooms.    We are finally ready to eat!  Dorito tempura mushrooms with Hot Ranch. The mushrooms were great. The Hot Ranch, honestly, was not. The heat and the ginger were nice against the bland mushrooms, but teriyaki should not be so greasy. It might have worked if I'd left out either the mirin or the soy sauce. The mushrooms were rescued by serving neat ranch on the side, which worked much better.  Dorito-stuffed poblano with Cspamish rice and Dorito Cornbread with Lime Ranch butter. The pepper was great. The Doritos weren't super obvious, but the gooey corny mess they made was very nice and kept the stuffing from just tumbling out when you cut into the pepper. The rice tasted excellent, though the C-SPAM method of mushing a tomato into it after cooking made it rather wet, not really what Spanish rice is supposed to be, but good nevertheless. The cornbread was moist and delicious, though not particularly dorito-y, and the tang of the lime ranch butter was surprisingly good against the sweet cornbread. And now, time for dessert! Back to the fry station.      We're making hush puppies! The frozen Mountain Dew jello cubes are wrapped in the batter and fried up good.  This was a moderate success. No explosions, which was my main worry, but a somewhat disappointing result. The jello melted around the edges but was still half-frozen in the middle, and it turns out Mountain Dew is not the proper choice of jello for this application. It's not sweet enough, nor does it have much flavor. I think this would have worked a lot better with regular jello made at double strength. Now, I have a kitchen to clean. Will be back tomorrow to watch the contest. Duscat fucked around with this message at 02:47 on Jun 12, 2017 |
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Jun 12, 2017 02:45
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Man, you guys are creative. Al's dishes frighten me. I think it's the drop of blood that pushes the concept a little beyond the edge for me. Awesome plating though. I'm definitely going to try those fritters sometime. Doritos seem to lend themselves really well to fried batters. I bet Mountain Dew pudding would be doable with simple corn starch, or a Nordic style translucent berry soup with potato starch. For frying, you might be able to insulate the jello like the ice cream in Baked Alaska, where the meringue is an intermediate layer that ends up kind of half-cooked. Maybe if you skewered your Jello cubes, dipped them in meringue and just halfway froze them, and then dipped in a thin layer of batter and fried very quickly? But I think the biggest challenge in flavoring things with Mountain Dew is that it actually doesn't have all that much flavor when used as an ingredient. I couldn't really taste it in the crust on those jello balls, even though it was the only liquid in the batter, and the jello was pretty bland as a filling. I think you'd have to reduce it, but I don't know if prolonged heating would make those brominated fatty acids do something funky! Maybe you could get your hands on some syrup from a soda fountain...
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Jun 13, 2017 00:45
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I ran a few pudding experiments. Will let you know when they've chilled, but probably not until tomorrow. 
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Jun 13, 2017 01:28
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mormonpartyboat posted:the poi balls are just the poi and flour (and sugar) mixed completely and you end up with a crispy outside and gooey inside kinda like in this lovely pic yeah, that looks like it could work. definitely need to reduce it though! or buy one of these
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Jun 13, 2017 01:34
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Pudding break! All recipes were made with 1 tbsp thickener to a cup of Mountain Dew except for xanthan gum which was 1/4 tsp to a cup. Potato starch: This has a consistency like a Swedish blueberry soup. The sweetness is about right, and the flavor is delicate and lemony. Nice translucent color, not cloudy. I could finish this. Tapioca starch: I may have used too much starch. Very soft but strong texture, it yields under the spoon but won't break, and you have to fight to get a chunk out. Reminds me of toy slime from the 80s. The flavor is ok, but the texture is unappetizing. Could be useful for grossing out the kids on Halloween. Xanthan gum (1/4 tsp per cup, not heated): This feels a bit like instant pudding, perhaps a bit slimy, and very soft. It tastes fine. Interestingly, there is a little bit of carbonation still left in the gel, so it tastes more sour than the others. I wouldn't serve this as is though, it feels thin. Xanthan gum (1/4 tsp per cup, heated just to boiling): About like the above, but with the carbonation removed. Now that I have this to compare, the unheated version feels just a little chalky, like some of the xanthan gum didn't quite dissolve or activate or whatever. This one is smooth and clean. Perhaps with more gum this would be a serviceable pudding. Cornstarch & Nido: I thought I'd try a milk pudding, but since Mountain Dew is so dilute you can't usefully add it to milk, I thought I'd add powdered milk to it instead. The result is fairly pudding-like, and adding an egg to make a custard would probably improve it a lot. The powdered-milk flavor does come through even after it sat in the fridge overnight. I accidentally added 33% more than the tin called for. This is palatable but not great. Conclusion: Recipe for Swedish Mountain Dew soup: - 2 cups Mountain Dew - 2 tablespoons cornstarch Mix and heat to boiling, chill, and serve.
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Jun 13, 2017 19:43
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curufinor posted:if you want to put more ranch on the turkey, maillard rxn will work at boiling temp in a pressure cooker (viz., the water doesn't stop maillard rxn, the boiling does, because it keeps the stuff at 100 deg C) is this really true, because i've never seen anything come out of a pressure cooker even the slightest bit browned what sort of pressures are we talking about? household cookers only get to around 120 degrees C e: i'm drunk again and missed  nevermind
Duscat fucked around with this message at 00:49 on Jun 16, 2017 |
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Jun 16, 2017 00:45
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curufinor posted:alkalinity actually more important lol okay go cook a thing in a pressure cooker with a maillard reaction
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Jun 16, 2017 03:25
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curufinor posted:There is a cheat code for milk emulsification quotin this guy who knows cheating isn't cheating if it makes good food better mustard in every mayo, baby calcium chloride in every cheese
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Jun 18, 2017 03:02
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wandering way the hell off topic, but i just made a chocolate cake with ground up cacao nibs instead of cocoa powder and holy gently caress did that batter smell awesome all the way into the oven end result is, i should have given them nibs a couple more minutes in the grinder to get properly pulverized, because the product clearly speaks of its heritage, also the sugar is basically lost and just tasting sweet at any taste buds that happen to come around however, the apricot/triple sec/orange bitters filling is just about as european as could be expected and i'm defs rerunning it the next time the country calls me to bake one for the team
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Jun 18, 2017 03:12
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| # ¿ Apr 28, 2024 08:54 |
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did we died
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Jun 27, 2017 03:16
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