Horrible Customers: The Retailing

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Horrible Customers: The Retailing

Choco1980: Feb 22, 2013; I fell in love with a Video Nasty

Starman Super DX posted:

Maybe the thread title needs to be changed to "Horrible Customers: Rise of the Incontinence"

Or I dunno something funnier and poop related.

Retail Horror Stories: The Customer is always poo poo(ting)

# ¿ Jun 20, 2017 01:18

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 01:10

Choco1980: Feb 22, 2013; I fell in love with a Video Nasty

I've never really thought about it before, but does forced full service mean the prices for gas are higher in NJ? I live in Michigan, and have probably NEVER seen a full service station.

# ¿ Jun 20, 2017 18:34

Choco1980: Feb 22, 2013; I fell in love with a Video Nasty

Horrible Customers: Liquor Laws Chat

# ¿ Jun 28, 2017 20:59

Choco1980: Feb 22, 2013; I fell in love with a Video Nasty

VideoTapir posted:

You can just slap a label on just about anything that won't fall apart, break, die or damage other packages.

I once mailed a differential wrapped in plastic bags. The only reason it was even covered was that it might have still had oil in it.

At the Ripley's Believe It Or Not ODDitorium in Myrtle Beach, SC, they have a display case of items from a contest where fans would try to mail things to them by just putting a shipping label and stamps on it, and no other packaging. Some of the items include a soccer ball, a bra, a traffic cone, and a mailbox.

# ¿ Jul 11, 2017 04:37

Choco1980: Feb 22, 2013; I fell in love with a Video Nasty

Cracked's readers recently contributed stories that would fit right in in this thread for today's "photoplasty" Right Here

# ¿ Jul 13, 2017 16:55

Choco1980: Feb 22, 2013; I fell in love with a Video Nasty

OutOfPrint posted:

Starman appeared one day, disheveled, reeking of crust punk, and was immediately shuffled into one of our meeting rooms. He was an old Russian man who paid for a design service that he never received and was finally ready to start building his site. Our supervisor brought one of my coworkers into the meeting room to take Starman's notes.

Starman was the head of, and first human member in, the Intergalactic Council. He needed a website so he could run for the Secretary General of the U.N. He studied cybernetics at Moscow University in the 70's, and, at the time of the meeting, lived in Brooklyn. He took the bus to get to the office. He had been missing for three days from his retirement home.

He eventually found his way home and started inundating us with content to add to his site. It started off with information about his run for SG, but got more unhinged. By the time I left, he was calling himself something like "Human Citizen 00000001."

is the site still up?

# ¿ Jul 28, 2017 13:39

Choco1980: Feb 22, 2013; I fell in love with a Video Nasty

Inescapable Duck posted:

You know what'll help? Going further into completely undischargeable debt on something that has absolutely no guarantee to actually help you in any way, despite everyone in your family and education insisting it is the only way to improve your lot in life.

Yeah, the one silver lining to me being disabled now is that my student loans were discharged, but boy are there a LOT of other quality of life things my status is explicitly kept away from by the US Government. Also I had no idea the discharge thing even existed until i tried to use my status as a bargaining chip like a shitheel while working on a payment plan woth my lender. The online info about the program isn't even on the department of education's site, but stashed away in a military branch site. College costs are definitely a scam.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2017 00:04

Choco1980: Feb 22, 2013; I fell in love with a Video Nasty

Turdsdown Tom posted:

I don't work in retail, but this half-ton blob of a woman hit me with her lovely Chevy van today after I told her no, you can't drive into this completely full parking lot, there are no parking spots for your huge stupid car. Then she poo poo her pants and dipped out real fast less than a minute after sitting down and ordering a round of drinks for her family because the manager came over mentioned that the cops might get called. It sort of owned, but almost getting obliterated by a van from 1982 did not.

Basically I'm a parking lot attendant that says "no" to people all day long as they try to get into the restaurant I work for. It's a pretty sweet gig and the whole "dealing with customers" thing is basically the closest thing to retail without being retail.

Clearly the mistake was your manager telling her in advance that the cops were coming after she hit you.

Though does that now count as a hit and run?

# ¿ Jul 29, 2017 06:07

Choco1980: Feb 22, 2013; I fell in love with a Video Nasty

Thin Privilege posted:

At first I was going to be like, "holy poo poo that's awesome! I need to finish applying for disability!" But then I remembered some goon saying that they were going to cut off his/her disability benefits because they worked too many hours (something stupid like over 8 hours a week was too much). So either way you end up living below the poverty line. God bless America

Yeah, note the next statement after the part you highlighted. I'm up poo poo creek because I'm too sick (genetic based kidney failure. Been dealing with it my whole life) to get a job that would pay well enough for me to survive on, yet it's very unlikely for me to find even a lovely part time job (probably with heavy standing and manual labor, which my body can't easily handle due to the strains of dialysis, not to mention coordinating a schedule around that a workplace would be willing to do) that doesn't automatically take away all my aid and leave me completely unable to stay alive. :911:

# ¿ Aug 1, 2017 09:36

Choco1980: Feb 22, 2013; I fell in love with a Video Nasty

Fil5000 posted:

I thought right to work just meant you didn't have to join a union, whereas at will is the "you can quit/be fired without notice and for any non protected reason" thing.

This is correct. The two are often confused. The thing about the At Will, is that you don't have to be given a reason why you're fired, so that "non-protected" clause is useless. Every trans person I know is terrified of the At Will policies, and very few are brave enough to come out as trans at their jobs, because they could have bigoted bosses who turn around and just say "oh, they had a bad attitude, so we decided to let them go", and nobody can challenge it.

# ¿ Aug 4, 2017 15:52

Choco1980: Feb 22, 2013; I fell in love with a Video Nasty

Barudak posted:

Thats how you get a dick flopped out in front of you.

I take it a lot of people laugh at your dick when they see it on the reg?

# ¿ Aug 23, 2017 22:00

Choco1980: Feb 22, 2013; I fell in love with a Video Nasty

Barudak posted:

Not me but it was not unheard of for dudes at a kids amusement park I worked at to tell women who werent smiling that theyd give them something to smile about while gesturing at their crotch, often with their kids in tow.

This is the same park, again intended to cater to 2-6 year olds, where two families completely unrelated to each other got drunk on liquor they packaged as water and claimed was for their diabetes that they began throwing trash cans at each other and anyone who tried to break up their fight until the cops showed up.

Mostly I was insinuating you had a dick worth laughing at, likely because it's small. :thejoke:

# ¿ Aug 23, 2017 23:05

Choco1980: Feb 22, 2013; I fell in love with a Video Nasty

Inescapable Duck posted:

As ever, the best way to deal with people who treat you like a servant is to feign the most inconvenient and fawning level of stupidity you can get away with.

In college, I worked at Hollywood Video, and every busy night, without fail, some rude person would come up to the side of the counter, ignoring the long lines and demanding my attention away from them. I'd ignore them like crazy. If they didn't get the idea that I wouldn't skip to them, and raised a fuss, I'd politely and straightfaced without even turning to them just say "Sir/Madam, if you wait your turn in line like everyone else, I'd be happy to help you" and not pay the slightest bit of attention to them again until they were at the front of my line.

# ¿ Aug 24, 2017 01:43

Choco1980: Feb 22, 2013; I fell in love with a Video Nasty

Zenithe posted:

I always prefer people ask me. So often I ask if they are looking for something (we have a bunch of random poo poo), get told no, then two minutes later get asked if we have something and immediately either show them where it is or say we don't have it. Just ask you idiots, you'll be out of my shop faster.

Social Anxiety is a hell of a disorder.

# ¿ Aug 24, 2017 20:46

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 01:10

Choco1980: Feb 22, 2013; I fell in love with a Video Nasty

Avenging_Mikon posted:

Eh, I'd still tip. And for those who don't know, 8 is good fortune in Chinese culture. An all 8s phone numbers in China was auctioned off for something like a million dollars.

SymmetryrtemmyS posted:

Tip enough to bring your paid price to $x.44.

To further explain Asian Numerology, 4 is a VERY unlucky number over there, associated with death.

# ¿ Aug 28, 2017 03:04

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