Horrible Customers: The Retailing

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Horrible Customers: The Retailing

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

CaptainBtaksDad posted:

Most of you sound terrible at your jobs. And your jobs are quite literally the easiest on the planet.

:yells at lowest possible rung on corporate ladder "WHY DON'T YOU HAVE THE PINK IPHONE IN STOCK GOD WHY ARE YOU SO BAD AT YOUR JOB" :

# ¿ Jun 13, 2017 13:39

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 09:39

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

FactsAreUseless posted:

Bookstore customers are insane in a way I've never seen from customers anywhere else.

OTOH the guy who prices the used books at the Barnes & Noble by me is easily the most insane retail employee I've ever encountered. He looks and dresses like if Colonel Sanders played The Mask (has the white hair/beard, glasses, big guy, but instead of a white suit it'll be a yellow blazer, green polka-dot slacks and a red striped tie). His pricing scheme is totally incomprehensible - at one point I was told it was based off online prices, but not where online (eBay? Amazon? Niche collectors' sites?). This leads to things like volumes 6, 7 and 8 of a comic book series (Preacher) being priced at $8, $35, and $18 respectively, for no real reason (they're out of print but the prices are pretty stable across all the volumes). He gets really offended if you ask him about how he prices poo poo; I've never actually pulled up online pricing in front of him for fear of triggering a meltdown.

I still find decent deals and cool finds, but not nearly as much as I used to. I once got a signed, uncorrected proof copy of one of the Science of Discworld books for $6, now they've had a signed, 1st-edition copy of Good Omens for $150 sitting on display for like 6 months that nobody will buy at that price (except me if I get a bonus at work

)

Snow Cone Capone fucked around with this message at 15:00 on Jun 13, 2017

# ¿ Jun 13, 2017 14:55

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

Aesop Poprock posted:

I think a lot of the time it's their relatives buying them those things to be fair

When I worked at Radio Shack there were tons of olds coming in with no clue how to use the smartphone/iPad they just got. Thankfully the local senior center offered free technology classes; it was just a matter of spinning "I don't have time/don't get paid enough to give you a crash course in iOS" in a polite way.

FactsAreUseless posted:

He's probably using Bookfinder. Bookfinder, as I recall, prices poo poo like ebay: it just shows you a list of everyone selling the book on the site. So inevitably it all gets inflated because sellers just chase each other's prices, then it crashes when someone decides to sell a book cheap.

It's absolutely bizarre and I'm sure he's pricing himself out of some sales and undercutting himself in others (that uncorrected proof I paid $6 for lists on eBay for >$100). It leads to situations like the above with those Preacher volumes; I bought the cheap one and completed the collection through Amazon. At this point the comics section is almost entirely super-overpriced stuff since everyone already bought everything worth buying. If you're tracking inventory, how long until you realize that dropping prices will increase sales?

My main beef is how offended the dude got on the couple times I tried talking to him. I get that it's annoying, but I wasn't like "dude your prices are too high," I literally asked why one volume was so much higher than the rest and got a really sarcastic "it's out of print, anything else I can help you with?" and the like. Oh well :shrug:

CaptainBtaksDad posted:

No. I actually know very little about computers. I work in a hospital.

I guess when you're the guy cleaning old people poo and changing bed sheets, retail is the only field you can look down on :v:

# ¿ Jun 13, 2017 15:36

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

CaptainBtaksDad posted:

If it helps you get through the day sure go ahead and believe that. But the orderlies who change bedsheets are providing a service to help the sick and injured, you poorly replace an ipad.

I don't actually work in retail anymore but yeah idiots like you who have a random superiority complex over retail workers accounts for like 99% of rear end in a top hat customers, so thank you for coming into the thread complaining about lovely entitled retail customers and providing a stellar example of a lovely entitled retail customer :thumbsup:

CaptainBtaksDad posted:

Thank you. I didn't think it was appropriate for a guy like that to poo poo on people who help others for a living.

"working at a hospital" doesn't automatically mean "helps others for a living," you've already claimed you're not an orderly so for all we know you could be a resident pharmaceutical rep or the guy that denies insurance claims :smuggo:

also

at "a guy like that" bitch y'dunnome

# ¿ Jun 13, 2017 17:43

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

The Walrus posted:

Maybe what you do for a living has nothing to do with your quality as a person, take you for example, who apparently makes a positive impact in the lives of others and yet is a oval office

edit: I mean you gotta think it's a troll, it's pretty obvious.

Usually with a troll there's a post history or some other giveaway, it's pretty rare that someone embraces the "falsely superior asshat" persona so deeply

never go full retard is what I'm saying, I guess

# ¿ Jun 13, 2017 18:09

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

Rutibex posted:

working at a public library is always great fun! you see the same sort of people lining up outside to get in at the crack of 9am that you would see in front of a liquor store in the morning. one time i saw a 60+ year old woman picking through the trash bin outside and eat something nondescript she pulled out

the patrons are much more polite than customers in retail though. mostly because they either just want a warm place to sit and read, or they are after a specific book which we let them have for free. unlike a retail store our "back room" is larger than the floor and contains many cool old rare things, which we won't even tell you about if you look sketchy

Some stand-up comedian did a bit about how he was at Barnes & Noble and asked where the registers were and the dude was like "why buy it? You can read it here in one of our super-comfy couches while you try the latest small-batch coffee we just got in!"

That has literally happened to me multiple times and it's one of the reasons B&N is my favorite store and I will be devastated when Amazon eventually pushes them out of the market (although now that Border's is gone I guess each industry needs at least brick-and-mortar chain?)

# ¿ Jun 13, 2017 18:12

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

unpleasantly turgid posted:

"I ordered the small with extra chicken, and this other guy [who ordered a large] has more!"

"You paid less, why should you have as much as him?"
~me, who was then referred to as the smug human being in front of the manager.

I think I'm conservative now because I've seen too many nasty, greedy liberals at the diners I worked with. I served a table of queers (all diff. colored hair, a lot of piercings) and they were all hilariously rude to me. When I almost tripped and dropped their food, they loving wrung me out when I would have been the one to fall, be embarrassed and clean it up while I was hurt+embarrassed. They didn't tip on a $50 check. like hell no i'm not paying 4 ur healthcare n such bitch.

kthxbai

holy poo poo you mean people can be giant douches regardless of their political leanings or lifestyle :aaaaa:

Rutibex posted:

protip instead of going to barns and noble try a university library. they sell cheaper coffee and snacks, and the book selection is much better. you have to be a student to check the books out, but no one will stop you if you just go to read stuff off the shelves

Yeah, mostly when I was in college it was fun to kill a summer day there reading comics and raiding the cafe in the a/c, nowadays we usually just stop there on the way somewhere else to grab coffee and check out the Used section.

# ¿ Jun 13, 2017 19:22

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

Sue Eastside posted:

There was lady who tried to return some phone antenna at the Radio Shack. She had no receipt and the packaging was about destroyed. She only spoke spanish and her kid grudingingly translated with rolled eyes .
I told her I can't refund without a receipt and she got pissed. The manager comes up and tells her the same thing and she starts yelling in spanish. Looks at me like it's my fault.
I said "No habla espa�ol." and she really blew her top; was so loud the guard from the Walmart showed up and escorted them out.

Then there was the biker dude & girlfriend, both stinkin of booze, come and pick about two grand worth of poo poo. I was stoked; I made 2% commission on that! I ring it up and he slaps down an American Express card, some lady's name on it. "Call Amex" is what I got when I swiped it.
Yup, stolen card. I even handed the phone to him, he yelled some bullshit about it's his mother's card. He tore in half and stormed out, drunk bimbo in tow.
I should have kept the card and got a reward but it was a natural reflex to swipe and hand it back.

lol if you think you would have gotten a reward, you probably would have been reprimanded for potentially escalating the situation by not giving the card back and letting him walk out

# ¿ Jun 13, 2017 19:24

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

Also there's this impression that retail employees are grudge-holding motherfuckers who will remember forever the one time you didn't say "thank you" to them and be lovely to you every time you come into their store from now on.

Everyone's human, the key is how you react to your own gently caress-ups. On the rare occasion where a customer got lovely with me, then genuinely apologized when it turned out they were at fault, I think my overall opinion of them ended up even higher than when they first came in. Owning up to your poo poo is crucial.

# ¿ Jun 13, 2017 19:42

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

Considering I was blazing in the basement literally every shift and often had to put a bowl down mid-toke to run up and deal with a manager-level issue, I'm frankly amazed that I only ever got called out for smelling like weed one time.

It was a month or so before I finally quit and was in full no-fucks mode (and if smoking pot in the basement daily was giving a gently caress you can imagine how over it I was at that point) and IIRC my response to "son, it stinks like mary jane in here" was something like :big dumb grin: "yeah it's pretty nice, isn't it? "

# ¿ Jun 13, 2017 19:54

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

new phone who dis posted:

I have the same experience sometimes. I'll call because the cable or internet is out and they'll start doing their profuse apology thing and I'll just cut them off with "It's okay, dude. Things happen and you're not directly responsible. I'm not mad. You're just doing your job and I can appreciate that." You can feel the relief through the phone when they realize you aren't going to be "one of them".

Yeah I've gotten something like 6 months of free Amazon Prime by not being an rear end in a top hat who blames a phone center peon in India for a shipping delay in New Jersey

# ¿ Jun 13, 2017 19:57

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

Rutibex posted:

everyone notices you smell like weed, they just dont care

Oh I know, but my store was in a heavily conservative, senior-citizen-heavy area so I'm more shocked that only one 65+ guy in khaki shorts and a pink polo ever made a stink about it in 3 years than anything

e: also that the bored/blazed dude stinking of weed was wearing a Manager tag :lol:

tbh I always figured I'd get a call from my DM chewing me out for it too, but that never happened either :shrug:

# ¿ Jun 13, 2017 20:00

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

Overnight shift at a supermarket when I was 17 is the reason "shoplifter sprinting for door with cart full of unpaid groceries gets clotheslined WWE-style by bored off-duty NYPD cop at 3:30AM" is a personal memory and not a Youtube video I have bookmarked

IIRC the cop was buying something super-mundane like toilet paper on his way home :laugh:

# ¿ Jun 13, 2017 21:47

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

Sid Vicious posted:

What store in Guelph was it that's where I live and I don't really remember any grocery stores in the Italian area but then again I just think of the ward when I think of Italian areas so idk was it Angelinos?

Is it pronounced Gelf or Gwelf or Goo-elf

also is it Ont-arrrr-io or Ont-air-io this is important I've only been to Quebec and I don't trust anything those sneaky bastards tell me

# ¿ Jun 14, 2017 00:49

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

jeeze you guys is this the horrible customers thread or the goon missed connections thread :parrot:

# ¿ Jun 14, 2017 00:57

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

My first job was at Blockbuster and my manager's name was Richard Kuntz I swear to god this is true

it was also my first experience with corporate dumbfuckery: I bought a used PS1 game with my fancy new employee discount, took it home, realized the disc was too scratched to play, and returned it, then marked it as damaged for the pile. I literally almost got one-and-done fired for this since apparently returning things you bought with your discount is a gigantic no-no. I'm not sure why, it gave me the correct amount as a refund, it's not like I returned it at full price :confused:

# ¿ Jun 14, 2017 01:05

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

thomawesome posted:

I work at a homebrew supply shop and it is amazing how stressed out people get over their hobbies. We offer around 40 hops and 100+ different grains, hundreds of yeast strains, and god forbid we have the slightly wrong ingredient people go nuts. Keeping 2000+ different products evenly and well stocked is really difficult for a mom/pop shop, and honestly? with our selection, we always have a decent substitute.

On top of that, a lot of dudes would treat our female employees like crap and ask to talk to me instead. Some of them had been brewing for longer than I have and I just didn't understand why a woman can't answer questions about beer/brewing/wine. That, and all the know-it-alls we get who come in.

homebrewing is fun and cool and you get some great and wonky beers out of it but LOL at anybody that gets mad if they have to use Northeast-grown Centennial hops instead of Northwest or whatever

I mean I get that certain strains have very different flavors but I'm reasonably sure that if they don't have the exact patented ultra-expensive Australian hops you want, there's most likely a local variety that gives off a nearly identical profile.

How often do you get people :words:

ing about pellets vs. fresh or whatnot?

# ¿ Jun 14, 2017 01:42

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

Isaac posted:

Its the same family they just keep sending different people hoping that eventually whatever they want will appear with more attempts

So they're looking for like Resolve?

# ¿ Jun 14, 2017 03:01

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

I dunno mang it seems pretty obvious they were looking for a powder you sprinkle on your carpet and that's basically the only option

unless they're doing cocaine on Nightmare difficulty

# ¿ Jun 14, 2017 03:09

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

Arven posted:

At the best buy I worked at there was this nerd that would come in every couple weeks and look at the anime section and leave after 10 minutes without buying anything. He always was usually in a trenchcoat and always had a katana on his back. Nothing ever happened, I just didn't believe those people existed in real life before I saw him.

lol can you imagine the loving incident that would have taken place if that dude was any other race/build other than fat and white

# ¿ Jun 14, 2017 04:07

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

new phone who dis posted:

It's not the race. It's the katana.

I'm saying the race is the reason "guy with a katana" isn't something you get the SWAT team involved over

Starman Super DX posted:

whoa whoa whoa I appreciate your point but let's quit while we're ahead and open a whole can of worms here.

it is kinda funny though how white nerds get a pass for carrying weapons tho because they'd never actually use them for anything

I definitely don't want to start any dumb racial debate right here but I don't think it's an edgy or radical opinion to say that a non-white dude with a weapon would be treated a whole lot different. I'll make it non-racial by including skinny redneck white dudes, too.

I have to disagree with your spoiler'ed point though since events in the US in the last several years shows us that white nerds get a pass for carrying weapons despite the last like 90% of major multiple-death incidents being carried out by white nerds

anyway here is a picture of my cat to apologize for the derail:

# ¿ Jun 14, 2017 04:26

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

Martinpale posted:

If they do, would you like to guess who's making a play to be the book industry's brick-and-mortar chain too? Hint: it's Amazon, they have physical bookstores now.

Yeah I've been to one of them and I'm not too worried as it more closely resembles a cross between a knockoff Apple store and an airport Hudson News than an actual bookstore

they don't take cash and you pay more if you're not an Amazon Prime member :laffo:

They'd probably make more money doing some sort of affiliate program with B&N tbh. They love selling techy gewgaws there nowadays so having a big display for Alex and poo poo now that the Nooks are 99% dead would be right up their alley anyway. It's pretty obvious that the Amazon storefront is just a thin excuse to get more people playing around with and then buying Alexas and Echos than any actual effort to sell books (which should also be obvious by the fact that they only stock bestsellers and 4-star+ rated books)

Snow Cone Capone fucked around with this message at 10:37 on Jun 14, 2017

# ¿ Jun 14, 2017 10:27

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

SUBLIME! posted:

Working at a dispensary in Colorado is probably the best retail job I've ever had. Being monitored by the MED at all times means being able to freely tell people to gently caress off at any point they aren't following the rules, with coworkers and managers always backing you because no one wants to pay that billion dollar fine.

Still weird how upset people get at not being able to get in with an expired license. You can't (or I guess shouldn't be able to) buy booze with ID expired for literal years, why do you think you can come into a high security shop and buy weed???

It's the first job I've had that's made me actively interested in an industry. High pay, actual benefits and free product at least once a week means I'm riding this train until sessions throws me in the gulag.

I hate you so drat much

# ¿ Jun 14, 2017 15:45

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

Shoggoth bgosh posted:

This is no joke. I am a computer/phone tech and I am always getting people asking for "The GUY in the back". rear end in a top hat, I AM the guy in the back. I'm the only employee. Some rando told me "You're too pretty to work on computers" What does that even mean?? I swear I won't get menses all over your electronics.

I learned all about intersectionality from hearing all the hosed up ways people combined racism and misogyny when dealing with my store's phone repair tech who was a tiny black woman

She was my favorite employee of all time and one of 2 coworkers I ever blazed on-shift with

# ¿ Jun 14, 2017 18:36

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

Efexeye posted:

people who seem to actively hate everyone as you seem to generally have vocations that are less public-facing, is all. you work in retail because you enjoy being a dick to people, or you'd have figured out something else

edit: to clarify i did do a 6 month retail stint at a gamestop which is why i would never work retail again, ever, and i worked in foodservice for ten years which is arguably even worse

I'm glad you got the choice to not work retail but that's a choice a lot of people don't really have. It's kind of weird that you're equating "I don't want to have a conversation about sports with a customer I don't even like sports" with "you work retail because you like being a dick to people" :confused:

# ¿ Jun 14, 2017 19:28

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

Efexeye posted:

sorry, go back to feebly bitching rather than learning basic human empathy. my mistake

lol the entire point of the thread is that a complete lack of human empathy from virtually every angle (customers, superiors, corporate policy) is why retail workers end up with such a generally dim view of people

your reading comprehension really sucks but you're like the 3rd or 4th person in the thread to inadvertently expose themselves as a dickhead so it's just more :laffo:

fodder tbh

Efexeye posted:

also what does that mean, 'no choice but to work in retail'? i handwrote bibles for $6 a page once when no one else was hiring. there is always a choice

loving lol dude

# ¿ Jun 14, 2017 19:49

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

Dr. Arbitrary posted:

I used to work at a casino. Literally everyone working there has heard "Which machine is gonna pay?" so many times that you couldn't get in trouble for pointing to the ATM.

I was in Vegas in February for work and while the general casino scene was some great people-watching, by far the saddest were the ones who were clearly lifers - at the slot machines at 10AM with a beer and a half-full ashtray, and you know it's not that they're starting early, it's that they've been there all night

Also having slot machines in bodegas is really hosed up and I'm sure is just another reason for sketchy fuckers to hang out in there all night

VideoTapir posted:

Obviously that ain't gonna pay the rent, then. Perhaps you should stop using it as an example.

"yeah guys anybody can find a non-retail job, it's super easy! Myself, I found a great new job right away! How long did it last? Don't ask!"

also lol at 10 years in foodservice that's literally the closest analogue to retail employment possible

Snow Cone Capone fucked around with this message at 20:02 on Jun 14, 2017

# ¿ Jun 14, 2017 20:00

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

Chomp8645 posted:

Anyone who goes to a casino to play on a machine is already trolling themselves far more than any employee ever could.

The sad thing is aside from food and people-watching and generally wandering around the casinos baked as gently caress with my wife laughing at everything, the one actual gambling-related thing I wanted to do was play an old-school analog 3-reel/pull-arm slot machine. Sadly I was unable to find a single one, it's all digital now

They also seem to be phasing digital slot machines out in favor of these absurdly-sponsored PopCapGames-style gambling. I poo poo you not I saw Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson, Big Bang Theory, Duck Dynasty, and about a million other pop-culture-branded games and they were all super-incomprehensible aside from "put money in press some buttons walk away"

# ¿ Jun 14, 2017 20:22

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

Starman Super DX posted:

I miss old arcades. This is largely what they look like now. Giant ipad games blown up on big screens.

Not disputing this!

Sometimes quite literally as I've seen arcade versions of Angry Birds, Crossy Road and Fruit Ninja, off the top of my head

# ¿ Jun 14, 2017 20:32

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

Hyrax Attack! posted:

*Customer pulls past closed signs into gas station after hours as we are cleaning up. "Well aren't you going to unlock the pumps and turn the turbines back on so I can save a nickel on gas?!"

uuugh I have a coworker who will drive out of his way for gas that's $.01-02 cheaper per gallon. Sometimes it's more than a couple of miles out of the way, but god forbid you try to explain "you use more than you'd save just to get there" to him

# ¿ Jun 14, 2017 21:39

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

Barudak posted:

In addition to pointing out they have aliens and star trek themed ones, these slot machines also feature progressive levling systems and some have daily log-in bonuses. There is no doubt in my mind that thousands if not millions of Americans would be broke in a week if we allowed online slot machinese in the US accessible by your phone.

Yeah but the Big Bang Theory one was the one that was always occupied, in ever casino we went to

agreed on god help us if online gambling ever goes fully-mobile-legal

# ¿ Jun 14, 2017 22:28

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

DemonDarkhorse posted:

Uhhh, you might want to think twice about sitting in those comfy chairs. They never get cleaned. In the ~10 years we had them before the lady peed in them all, they were never cleaned. Not even vacuumed. Ever.

I'm guessing the ones at my store do because they never seem dirty or smelly and I've certainly never seen any visible crumbs or crud on them

This is a fairly ritzy ultra-retail-focused area though so it may vary. Everything in this store is always spotless, even the kids section (and they have a multi-aisle educational toy area too so that's no small task).

# ¿ Jun 14, 2017 23:28

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

Just give up now, USPS customer service is the Webster-Merriam definition of "screaming into an uncaring unfeeling void"

# ¿ Jun 15, 2017 15:27

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

Starman Super DX posted:

What is it with these ridiculous sounding post-millennial names? Like, "Gavin" and "Xandir" and "Braedan". I'm sure I've heard some others too

White_People.txt

# ¿ Jun 15, 2017 15:53

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

Tbh at this point a Dave Attell reference is slightly more dated than a CompUSA reference

(up all night was a great show)

# ¿ Jun 16, 2017 13:38

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

berth ell pup posted:

You mean Insomniac?

I do!

# ¿ Jun 16, 2017 13:51

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

People have different ideas of what constitutes a fun trip abroad holy poo poo film at 11

I hate to say it ZJ but "guy who's researched exactly how he wants his vacation to go and expects a travel agent to put it all together for him at the prices he saw online" isn't that big of a deal, that's like literally the entire point of a travel agent: "hey, I want to go here and do these things I read about."

It's also not super-unreasonable to expect "ok if my untrained rear end can book this flight on Expedia after 5 minutes of Googling, someone whose entire job hinges around getting competitive rates for this sort of thing should be able to get me an even better deal!"

# ¿ Jun 19, 2017 16:36

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

And she was considerate enough to do it somewhere where the poop would freeze and presumably be easier to clean up!

# ¿ Jun 20, 2017 00:11

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

JustinMorgan posted:

Or, you know, she could use the restroom in the front of the store. The one she literally walked past to get to the freezers.

boooooring

# ¿ Jun 20, 2017 00:31

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 09:39

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

Zil posted:

Horrible Customers: No there are not more in the back, all of our poo poo is on the floor.

The biggest downside to having very well-organized stock was trying to explain to people that no, we don't have more in the back, because I'm vaguely competent at my job and make sure that empty shelves get filled whenever possible.

Also our inventory system had a good 36-48 hour delay on the consumer side so we got a whoooole lot of "I just checked the website before I left and it says you have 2!!!"

# ¿ Jun 20, 2017 00:33

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