NBA Offseason G/V: Let Me Hear You Post It

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What is going to be your favorite offseason storyline? This poll is closed.
The Big3 Tourney	67	22.41%
Will Lakers draft Ball	40	13.38%
Where will the Pauls go	54	18.06%
Will LeBron jump ship to the Spurs or ??	41	13.71%
Will every team in the league just pivot towards tanking	97	32.44%
Total:	210 votes

[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

KEvin Durant: too much of a coward for budlights or a challenge
See meta I always told you you guys were led by the lamer of the league

P.s. lol at Steve Kerr waffling and mumbling about his respect for the INSTITUTION of the White House and our fiiiiiiiine ol government

# ¿ Jun 15, 2017 23:06

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# ¿ Apr 30, 2024 15:51

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

Did you bully him and steal his lunch money

# ¿ Jun 16, 2017 20:12

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

Shout out to all the sports dads of the year who refused to believe Kawhi was a superstar until like, it was 2017
Also shout out to all the white sports dads who (still) don't get the fact that the stern dress code was totally racist policy

Overpaid primadonnas!

# ¿ Jun 18, 2017 17:57

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

Y'all going about this the wrong way. Clearly the correct move here is the one that will max spite the lakers, create a small ball team to murder the warriors, and increase the possibility PG might not even go to LA
http://www.espn.com/nba/tradeMachine?tradeId=ychgs39a

# ¿ Jun 18, 2017 21:14

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

Redgrendel2001 posted:

It's okay. Mo Bamba, drafted with the Lakers 2018 #1 pick, will fill in the gap.

Trigger warning: Mo Bamba's birthdate
Stop moving forward, time. No fair

# ¿ Jun 18, 2017 23:08

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

My favorite Paul George thing was always seeing that dumb Gatorade/whatever drink commercial during the playoffs while the pacers were totally eliminated and he wasn't doing anything noteworthy
"GAME."

# ¿ Jun 19, 2017 05:06

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

Kevin Durant likes women's farts. San Franciscans famously like to smell their own farts. Steph Curry literally IS a woman's fart. Do the math.
I just can't stop thinking of that gross fart poetry song from that old rear end weekend web 😂 def a young grim reaper
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wH8IGVxmVuc

Oh yeah uhhh I was gonna say something else. I want MY team in on the baseless speculation and clickbait, the Spurs never get ANY attention or credit :qq:

quote:

The Spurs are, again, not mentioned, but they would make for an intriguing trading partner for the Pacers. Unlike other contenders, San Antonio has some young players on its roster and has control over all of its first round picks going forward. Making salaries match shouldn't be a huge problem, either. The Spurs have Pau Gasol's big expiring contract on the books and could potentially consider Danny Green to be expendable in a trade for another wing.
A deal centered around those two, Kyle Anderson or Dejounte Murray and picks for George and Al Jefferson, for example, works under the CBA. The Pacers are after a starter and two firsts, according to David Aldridge, and this deal could give them that, plus a youngster and future cap savings, as Jefferson is on the books for the next two years. Including a 2019 pick would be risky, but the Spurs could insist on some protections.
That's just one possible configuration of the deal. There are other teams who could offer more, of course. Maybe Indiana is not enamored with Murray's potential or Anderson's evolving game. Maybe Pritchard is looking for picks that could land higher. Green is a quality contributor, but he makes more sense on a contender. They could always flip him later on, but might prefer to get a younger role player back now, someone who can grow with Myles Turner.

Yet with so little leverage after Paul's decision became public, Indiana might not be able to get too picky.

Hilarious.
We got Kawhi from Indiana, why shouldn't we get PG? Don't we deserve it after all these years of ringless suffering? It feels like it's been like, eight years man.
I think any trade should include Davis bertans just for poetry's sake

# ¿ Jun 19, 2017 05:45

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

AggressivelyStupid posted:

what kind of farts do you think kevin prefers?

if he could trap a gnarly fart in the big ol' dent in his head and dome it over, do you think he would?

Dog farts

Yes

# ¿ Jun 19, 2017 06:56

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

I couldn't think of fart types and I think Kevin Durant is probably into weird poo poo.

In that case though I revise my answer to lovely farts cuz KD prolly likes a little turd in his face to remind him of Russ

# ¿ Jun 19, 2017 06:59

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

First he killed basketball now KD is gonna make the NBA thread need nms nws tags

# ¿ Jun 19, 2017 07:08

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

Going back to the which player is which rapper discussion this definitely cements KD as Kevin gates

# ¿ Jun 19, 2017 07:12

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

That's a good point actually I jus figured they were both cousin loving fart sniffing booty eaters

# ¿ Jun 19, 2017 07:18

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

AggressivelyStupid posted:

Nothing wrong with eating rear end my friend

Yeah I just wouldn't recommend the fart sniffing or cousin loving

predicto posted:

Derrick Rose is David Foster Wallace because his career is dead

Derrick Rose deserves better
Who's the NBA player people pretend to like

# ¿ Jun 19, 2017 08:27

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

Away all Goats posted:

This has been a good day for f5ing

# ¿ Jun 20, 2017 03:08

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

My god the western playoffs would be so crowded and loving dope if LeBron ever went to the clippers, can you even imagine
Then whoever survives that shitfest sweeps the raptors or Celtics and no one cares

# ¿ Jun 20, 2017 03:38

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

R.D. Mangles posted:

that's when the attack comes SWISH from the sides from the Three Alphas you didn't even know were there

You really think Simmons Embiid and Fultz are gonna get that good that fast huh :smugdog:

# ¿ Jun 20, 2017 03:42

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

The Glumslinger posted:

Man, if they do that trade, I might actually just loving bandwagon with the Warriors until Jim has a successful coup

I mean, I cant believe they would be that dumb, but man, even the rumor is impressively dumb

Is there something chemical in lakers fans that makes them unable to empathize for and root for the Clippers
this should warm the lovely clarksons of your heart man

# ¿ Jun 20, 2017 04:15

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

If Kevin Durant murdering basketball in the greatest bball bitch move in history results in the craziest most panicked off-season where all these rumored trades and movements go down and it's basically like a mass expansion draft for everyone then...well that fart sniffing snake and his Warriors are now cool by me
Even if it creates a Super Clippers

# ¿ Jun 20, 2017 04:28

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

Jota posted:

KEVIN DURANT PAYS GIRLS TO FART IN HIS FACE

# ¿ Jun 20, 2017 04:35

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

AggressivelyStupid posted:

I bet Dome rear end Kevin doesn't care about who farts in face, but more so the timbre and flavors of the fart.

I bet he's nearly desensitized to farts now it's actually really tragic and kind of sad

# ¿ Jun 20, 2017 04:45

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

Dwight to Warriors all but confirmed
https://twitter.com/JoshuaBRobbins/status/253200186556428289

# ¿ Jun 20, 2017 04:53

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

San Antonio is famous for its fat women and Mexican food

Just sayin.......

# ¿ Jun 20, 2017 05:17

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

https://mobile.twitter.com/KDTrey5/status/357031549289508864
At least he's consistent about one thing.

# ¿ Jun 20, 2017 05:39

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

tanglewood1420 posted:

So outside the Brooklyn Nets disaster zone, Orlando is the worst situation in the league by far right?

Elfrid Payton - maybe the 25th best pg in the league
Evan Fournier - archetypal good stats, bad team scorer
Terrence Ross - athletic 3&D, without the D (and only kinda the 3)
Aaron Gordon - dunks
Nikola Vucevic - could be a top-15 center... if it was 1994

Bismack Biyombo - the homeless man's Dikembe Mutombo ($51m for three more years)
DJ Augustin - an NBA player making $7m
Mario Hezonja - last seen on the side of a milk carton
CJ Watson - they sure have a lot of replacement level point guards don't they?
and a bunch of filler

They don't even have much cap room (about $12m if they renounce everyone), because Fournier, Vucevic and Biyombo are all on fat contracts. This is the last year Gordon and Payton are on their rookie deals too, so they will need to decide about them next summer and keeping both of them would eat almost all their cap flexibility in the 2018 off-season.

They badly need to hit on the 6th pick in this draft otherwise they have no-one worth mentioning at all and no room to sign anyone impactful this summer, and likely next summer too. Even if they take the blow it up route, what are they going to get? Fournier could be 4th/5th starter on a playoff team but his deal is $17m a year until 2021 so no-one is going to give up much of anything for him.

Seriously appreciate this post cuz I constantly forget the Orlando magic even exist.

Much love to pau, didn't see this coming. Really adds a lot more cap flexibility, feels like maybe he's finally gotten over himself and found a place he could retire. Dig the new ego free 3 point jacking Pau Gasol, only the Spurs could've pulled this off.
https://mobile.twitter.com/WojVerticalNBA/status/877167318060683264
https://mobile.twitter.com/WojVerticalNBA/status/877168320809758721

# ¿ Jun 20, 2017 16:11

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

What did the Knicks do to get cursed this bad, there's no way they deserve the last decade+

It's loving with oak isn't it

# ¿ Jun 20, 2017 16:20

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

Trade Tony Parker (I think New York wanted him like...eight years ago...) and some picks and some random crap with "plays the triangle" scrawled on it in sharpie
Get Zing, sign CP3, make the Internet angry make the dreams of the puro pinche spurs squad come true

# ¿ Jun 20, 2017 16:32

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

Man we really paid for laughing at this poo poo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7e8ITLNE3o
No regrets

# ¿ Jun 20, 2017 19:09

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

Shear Modulus posted:

what odds will yall give me on the spurs' jersey sponsor being HEB

maybe Timmy the nerd can swing a deal with Marvel. Get some Punisher skulls on those black & silvers
Whataburger is also an option rip Dejuan Blair

# ¿ Jun 20, 2017 19:51

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

It's gonna be funny watching the lakers just be a mediocre team with Paul George + some dudes for x years. Guess they'd attract some FAs but still
Good for the west too, we could use more fringe playoff teams

# ¿ Jun 20, 2017 20:23

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

THis is so much fun im losing my mind

# ¿ Jun 21, 2017 00:06

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

The Glumslinger posted:

Jesus Christ, bring back Jim and Mitch

I can't wait for LeBron & PG13 to drag Randle and Swaggy P towards a Ring all while Lonzo ball keeps the la media lit, only to lose in the WCF against the new look stone cold killer Zing-Kawhi-Hayward-Juice-Paul Spurs (no don't ask me how that team happens)
(Kevin Durant died in an explosive fart incident and the Warriors lost against the timberwolves in the first round)

# ¿ Jun 21, 2017 00:17

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

pubic works project posted:

That's my bad.

I'm Magic. God is so good!

Do you have PMs? I'm willing to negotiate any price in bitcoins for the cure for AIDS

# ¿ Jun 21, 2017 00:20

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

straight up brolic posted:

NBA Offseason 2017-18 G/V: Got that AIDS brain

# ¿ Jun 21, 2017 00:32

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

Cool Buff Man posted:

Spurs Empire

# ¿ Jun 21, 2017 00:40

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

R.D. Mangles posted:

dwight's going to see him and yell hey michael michael michael michael michael michael michael michael hey mj hey watch this and right when he starts to fart jordan tells him he's had a fleet of bulldozers destroy his childhood home

I feel like in this situation Dwight's level of annoying overwhelms MJ's cruelty. It's like that one movie Clifford

# ¿ Jun 21, 2017 02:22

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

Jimmy's a lil touched in the head huh

# ¿ Jun 21, 2017 02:28

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

GM Magic is really the gift that keeps on giving. Between him and Bird and P-Jax it makes me wonder what players of today will be destroying the teams of the future

# ¿ Jun 21, 2017 02:51