cool new Polack jokes posted:

Even as a teenager I thought this was garbage. Turned it off a few minutes in. Hokey crap for pubescent boys.

Celery Face posted:

He got written out of the show in the 2nd season (or third season?) because everyone hated his character.

Gutter Phoenix posted:

I wonder how this movie holds up:




I haven't seen it since I was a kid, but I've always remembered the half-man/ half-tank guy named "Mandroid."

Wrageowrapper posted:

I'm sure most of the films I liked as a kid are terrible by my standards nowadays. My brother owned the DinoRiders movie (maybe it was a tv show) and we used to watch that poo poo all the time. I still remember the rotoscoped intro.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0u579c5skKQ

Maya Fey posted:

top gun

Jastiger posted:

HAHA Why did people hate his character?

JediTalentAgent posted:

Ice Pirates, maybe. I saw the movie a lot as a kid and the last time I gave even some of it a watch was on TV some years ago and just the late 70s/early 80s supertacky SF vibe either makes it great or drags it down to the point of being cringey. I need to just rewatch it from start to finish to see how I feel about it today.

JediTalentAgent posted:

Ice Pirates, maybe. I saw the movie a lot as a kid and the last time I gave even some of it a watch was on TV some years ago and just the late 70s/early 80s supertacky SF vibe either makes it great or drags it down to the point of being cringey. I need to just rewatch it from start to finish to see how I feel about it today.

poisonpill posted:

Top Gun really, really works if you watch it as the drama of a man trying to bury his homosexual impulses

cool new Polack jokes posted:

Even as a teenager I thought this was garbage. Turned it off a few minutes in. Hokey crap for pubescent boys.

Speedboat Jones posted:

The Pagemaster

poisonpill posted:

Top Gun really, really works if you watch it as the drama of a man trying to bury his homosexual impulses

Starman Super DX posted:

Tried to reason with myself that this might not have been that terrible, but when I really think about it, the plot seems really dumb even for a kids movie.

Debunk This! posted:

I remember being young enough to see and enjoy the movie Kazaam in theaters.

Debunk This! posted:

I remember being young enough to see and enjoy the movie Kazaam in theaters.

Starman Super DX posted:

this movie holds up in the sense that it's SO bad that it needs to be seen later as an adult

moose face posted:

What is the plot of kazaam

Starman Super DX posted:

lol I mentioned this to someone earlier today and they asked me the same thing. I don't even really remember because the second time I saw it was probably about five or six years ago. All I know is disenfranchised white kid finds a magic boombox and for some reason it summons a now presumably washed up basketball player who uses his mystical coolness and attitude to turn the kid's life around.

moose face posted:

Is there some sort of conflict that needs to be resolved

Wikipedia posted:

The film begins with a very big wrecking ball destroying an abandoned building. The impact knocks over a magic lamp inside of the building, causing it to land on a boombox. The genie inside decides to make residence inside the boombox from there on in.

Meanwhile, a boy named Max (Francis Capra) goes to school. He greets his friend, Jake (portrayed by Jake Glaser, director Paul Michael Glaser's son), with a goofy face and is chastised by his teacher. Max is confronted by a gang of bullies, who hold him on the bathroom floor and spray paint his outline. The bullies chase Max through Brooklyn. Max is chased into the abandoned building, where he discovers the boombox and accidentally unleashes the genie inside. The genie, who introduces himself as Kazaam (Shaquille O'Neal), tells Max that he is now Max's genie and proves it to him by demonstrating his powers, which results in Kazaam disappearing off the face of the earth.

Max returns home to find that his mother is marrying a fireman named Travis. It is revealed that his mother lied to him about his real father's whereabouts, and that he is actually located in the city. Max set out to search for his father in the hopes of rekindling some sort of bond between them. He suddenly encounters Kazaam during his travels, who pesters Max into making a wish. Max eventually finds his father, only to learn that he is a musical talent agent who specializes in unauthorized music.

Max goes to his personal secret hideout and tells Kazaam about his father. They decide to have a bike race through Max's hideout, during which Kazaam shows off his powers. Kazaam finally convinces Max to make his first wish, which consists of junk food raining from the sky. While eating all of this, Max suddenly realizes that he owns Kazaam until he makes his last two wishes. Max and Kazaam go out to see Max's father again.

After getting past an intimidating bodyguard, Max is introduced by his father to the other employees of the agency and invited to a nightclub. The owner of the nightclub, Malik (Marshall Manesh), shows interest in Kazaam upon the realization that he is a genie, and he hopes to control Kazaam through Max's father. The next day, Kazaam stays in Max's home and passes himself off as Max's tutor.

Max confesses to Kazaam that he and his father aren't really connecting, though Kazaam attempts to shirk the issue with some rapping. Max attempts to wish for his father and mother to fall back in love, but Kazaam cannot grant this wish because he is not a djinn, and therefore not free to grant ethereal wishes.

Later that day, Max witnesses his father being assaulted by Malik and his minions and goes to Kazaam for help. Kazaam just received a record deal as a professional rapper and is unable to help Max out. Max is kidnapped by Malik and takes possession of Kazaam's boombox. After pushing Max down an elevator shaft, Malik summons Kazaam in the hopes that he will do his bidding. While Kazaam is initially powerless against his master, he soon breaks free from his oppression and defeats Malik and his minions.

Kazaam transforms Malik into a basketball and then slam dunks him into a garbage disposal. However, he then finds Max's lifeless body, and wishes that he could have granted Max's wish to give his father a second chance at life. Then, in his sorrow, Kazaam finally becomes a djinn, and is therefore able to do this for Max. With him officially a djinn, he pulls Max out of harm's way and carried out of the burning building by Travis. Max's father then shows up and tells him that he hopes to rekindle the bonding with his son, before he takes off with authorities. Kazaam is then last seen walking off being grilled by his girlfriend because he doesn't have a job, while at the same time, ecstatic over his newfound freedom.

Starman Super DX posted:

moose face posted:

What is the plot of kazaam

moose face posted:

This is the most 90's thing

King Vidiot posted:

I watched Boondock Saints for the first time like 5 years or so ago. My younger stepbrother loaned it to me and thought it was the coolest thing ever.

I was really straining not to mention how lovely and forgettable it was, so I was just like "EGGGGGGGGGGGGH it was okay!".

Tumble posted:

The best thing about Boondock Saints is the documentary it spawned about what a dumb fuckhead the director is and how his Hollywood downfall is all his stupid fault.

nigga crab pollock posted:

for some reason we owned a dvd copy of austin powers: goldmember and my sister who was like, 8 was obsessed with it and watched it over and over again. my mom used to heavily police the media we consumed based on other people's hand-wringing but she kind of swung the other direction when she realized it was a futile effort and other people's hand wringing had prevented all of us from seeing actually good + cool things so she completely did not give a poo poo by the time this had happened.

we hadn't seen the other two austin powers but boy do i know that movie, scene for scene, line by line. there are a few good jokes but the entire thing is just aggressively mediocre but i guess the joke hadn't worn thin by the third movie since we had only seen that one

Tumble posted:

The best thing about Boondock Saints is the documentary it spawned about what a dumb fuckhead the director is and how his Hollywood downfall is all his stupid fault.

SilvergunSuperman posted:

The real answer, as has been already stated, is of course Robot Jox.

Starman Super DX posted:

Max is confronted by a gang of bullies, who hold him on the bathroom floor and spray paint his outline.

Haier posted:

I thought Joe Dirt was a masterpiece for a very long time, and watched it in its entirety every time it came on HBO back in the day. I have probably seen it over 20 times. I watched it again last month and it was really stupid and mostly bad, but I smiled at how I used to quote that movie so much with my friends when I was 16/17.

I tried watching the second one last year and turned off after 15 minutes when I saw the same jokes from the first one.