Bad movies you saw as a kid that you didn't think was bad at the time

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Bad movies you saw as a kid that you didn't think was bad at the time

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

3 Ninjas

Thanks to a gay sibling I have seen Bring It On no fewer than 50 times. Bring It On is not a good movie and I will fight you with a rusty potato peeler.

# ¿ Jun 28, 2017 00:40

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 20:40

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

My siblings and I also rented Gremlins 2 like 20 times and pissed off our parents to no end, but I stand by that one as still awesome

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4E2K1vqcuuc

# ¿ Jun 28, 2017 01:03

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

LGD posted:

Bring It On is a substantially better film than most of the other movies being discussed in this thread, sorry it's been ruined for you

Brrrrrrrrr. Is it cold in here? There must be some Toros in the atmosphe.....e....e....ee...

# ¿ Jun 28, 2017 01:40

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

M.C. McMic posted:

Boyz n the Hood is absolutely terrible. When I saw it in middle school, I thought it was great.

There's some legit stuff in there, even if it is a parable start to finish.

poisonpill posted:

Also, basically every comedy from the 90s was awful, just awful.

That reminds me of another favorite from when I was a kid. Biodome.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZzRI0JJwNM
These are the loving highlights people.

# ¿ Jun 28, 2017 05:33

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Dubplate Fire posted:

Fight me

Ok William Atherton eats a parrot and makes a headdress out of its feathers. That part is pretty baller. I tried to find a clip of it but couldn't so :effort:

you win I guess.

client posted:

the tales from crypt movie with dennis miller but tbf it had a lot of boobs in it

Oh yeah, Bordello of Blood. That piece of poo poo movie piledrived me into puberty because dial-up internet sucked for getting porn and my dad was an indifferent jackass who left me with a TV in my room and HBO when I visited on weekends. It's a loving awful movie, start to finish, and I say that as someone who loves Tales from the Crypt and lovely horror anthologies. It's one of those movies where there's nothing good other than lots of tits to latch onto (pun intended), but it's not bad enough to be enjoyable trash.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=miTvyuGggD8
Like, ok killing a room full of vampire prostitutes with super-soakers filled with holy water. That poo poo should be hilarious, but it's just this big bowl of plain oatmeal with a pocket pussy dropped in it. That's the whole movie, really.

I can give it this-- Angie Everhart is the best succubus I've ever seen in any media. You know every time she's in your view that she's plastic trash that isn't even that hot, but goddammit you're still falling for it. That's a succubus.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBJQZWoxHWg

ProfessorMurder posted:

Yea, his body is taken over by one of the Dark Overlords of the Universe.

I always liked Mikey from Men In Black better.

mind the walrus fucked around with this message at 03:14 on Jun 29, 2017

# ¿ Jun 29, 2017 03:11

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

It did lead to "I'M FROM BUENOS AIRES AND I SAY KILL 'EM ALL" and I doubt we would have gotten such an absurd location without the book. It'd just be like Malibu or some other poo poo.

# ¿ Jun 29, 2017 03:30

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Jastiger posted:

Stay Tuned with John Ritter and the principal from Ferris Bueler. Movie owns.

Oh poo poo now I remember Problem Child 1 and 2. Even as a kid I knew these were hot garbage but I like them cause

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49aLQJ05tJI

# ¿ Jun 29, 2017 17:15

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Zippy the Bummer posted:

Titan A.E. would be a totally rad movie but for one reason:

the soundtrack is atrociously, abominably, obnoxiously terrible

holy gently caress is it bad. A mix of totally out of place utterly forgettable techno drums/n bass crap that would suck apart from a movie

Apparently it went through a crazy amount of rewrites, which is why it feels super disjointed and "wuh?" half the time. Plus y'know it was 2000 the corporate music scene for young guys was really really really bad.

# ¿ Jul 1, 2017 13:32

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Bob James posted:

Ghostbusters

I dug Ghostbusters for all the toys and poo poo, but I never knew what adults at the time saw in the movie as a comedy back in '84. I mean it's good, but it's not a laugh riot or anything.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tdyU_gW6WE

# ¿ Jul 1, 2017 22:59

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Everyone having AIDS n' poo poo

# ¿ Jul 2, 2017 08:46

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

I never got around to the faculty until last year and for a deliberate b movie it's not half bad. Although it does have the lesbian admit she loves cock and strongly implies that the lead is loving his English teacher by the end.

I also dig the theory that the movie is a failed sacrifice attempt by those assholes in Cabin in the Woods. They even refer to a US failure the year the faculty came out.

# ¿ Jul 2, 2017 09:19

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Yes. Verehoven--a director known for three of the best Scifi satires ever made, which all feature fascist or vaguely fascist/corporatist governing bodies--wasn't aware of the immense Scifi subgenre of hard right and occasionally fascist "future military" porn and how to make fun of it.

Truly we cannot tell why he decides to make the decisions he does.

# ¿ Jul 4, 2017 05:21

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Say Nothing posted:

Come to think of it, what the hell was with Heinlein and his creepy obsession with incest?

Genre writers have a habit of injecting their sexual hang-ups into stories. I really hope Heinlein was just into incest as a fetish the way a whole bunch of generic porn seems to be, but it's hard to say.

On-topic : Fern Gully, The Land Before Time, Spice World, and the Power Rangers movie.

# ¿ Jul 5, 2017 06:33

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Mallrats sucks. It's not a total wash, but it's still a juvenile mess even by Kevin Smith standards.

# ¿ Jul 5, 2017 06:48

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Revenge of the Nerds is like 20% good, 80% appalling. Would legit watch a horror remake that takes the creeps for what they are.

# ¿ Jul 5, 2017 07:31

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Animal House is pretty hosed in some parts. A dude has a literal devil/angel shoulder conversation about raping an underage girl passed out at a party.

Most of it holds, but the parts that don't really really don't.

# ¿ Jul 5, 2017 08:31

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Turns out the guys at National Lampoon in the 70s and 80s were the kinds of privileged white guys from privileged universities who could get away with really rotten poo poo and laugh about it, to the point where they considered it a universal experience worth sharing with mass audiences.

Honestly I'm shocked there wasn't and isn't more backlash.

Also racism and classisn from John Hughes in particular. The original Vacation story had a super racist part where the family drives through an Indian reservation, replaced with the inner city in the movie. Plus laughing at Cousin Randy and his family for being so drat poor.

# ¿ Jul 5, 2017 09:07

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Starman Super DX posted:

Like you think that they're gonna come up with some wacky plan to pass college and pull one over on the dean, but instead they just... incite a violent riot. Like it almost borders on domestic terrorism by today's standards.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVjgY427qW8

# ¿ Jul 6, 2017 02:29

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

I grew up not too far from where Kevin Smith shot Clerks, and visited the place a few times. Trust me, he got the better actors in the area.

# ¿ Jul 6, 2017 14:54

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Captain Yossarian posted:

The land before time is bad? What the gently caress dude/dudette. Don bluth has not made a bad movie and I will fight you

It's not a trainwreck, but it really doesn't hold up. Everything feels small, the kid characters are more obnoxious than you remember (except for Ducky/Spike, and not just b/c of her voice actress), and the animation is really stiff. Also Don Bluth kind-of sucks. I think he got way too much slack back in the day for being the anti-Disney figurehead. None of his movies have stood the test of time except maybe Secret of NIMH and An American Tail.

YeahTubaMike posted:

On the bright side, the guy who played Finch has a steady gig as the voice of Barry on American Dad, and Alyson Hannigan was on How I Met Your Mother & Buffy (both of which were awful, but whatever, it's steady work).

Buffy was worth a good goddamn, although it's funny because Hannigan had the best post-Buffy career thanks to How I met your Mother. Starring in a top-rated and syndicated CBS sitcom means bank baby. Even on Buffy she was so popular by the later seasons she practically shared star credit with Sarah Michelle Gellar and you could tell that the dynamic between them soured because their plotlines started running mostly in parallel. Every other Buffy star's post-career ranges from ok (David Boreanaz) to "oh that's sad" (every single female actress, the guy who played Xander).

# ¿ Jul 6, 2017 23:27

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

cool new Polack jokes posted:

Even as a teenager I thought this was garbage. Turned it off a few minutes in. Hokey crap for pubescent boys.

Yeah, I've never had good taste but even as a teenager I saw it and was all "oh, ok. It's for dudes who are really big fans of nu-metal and took Fight Club at face value." I am a snotty human being.

Speedboat Jones posted:

The Pagemaster

I recall the Pagemaster picture book had some really ace illustrations, but yeah the movie bites, and it even has Patrick Stewart and Leonard Nimoy in it. I'd say there's a good visually arresting version to be made with modern tech., but we know it'd be forced to be about video games and "books are really cool too you guys" to an uncomfortable degree.

poisonpill posted:

Top Gun really, really works if you watch it as the drama of a man trying to bury his homosexual impulses

Yeah we've all seen that Tarantino speech. Doesn't stop it from being 100% accurate though.

# ¿ Jul 9, 2017 13:23

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 20:40

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Yeah Robot Jox was a pre-emptive parody of its time. It's what Kung Fury and Turbo Kid wish they could be.

# ¿ Jul 10, 2017 15:40

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Bad movies you saw as a kid that you didn't think was bad at the time