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Get back to work bitch
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Jul 5, 2017 17:24
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vaginal facsimile posted:Get back to work bitch my deadline's not until thursday and since I padded my work estimate by like 60% I have plenty of time for shitposting
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Jul 5, 2017 17:25
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i leave all my time estimates in jira blank so its like a schrödinger's cat thing if it gets done or not.
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Jul 5, 2017 17:33
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joke's on you op, i don't have a project manager
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Jul 5, 2017 17:36
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CRIP EATIN BREAD posted:i leave all my time estimates in jira blank so its like a schrödinger's cat thing if it gets done or not. i actually did these for a while and i was the only one and i realised nobody read them
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Jul 5, 2017 17:57
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jira is pretty poo poo btw
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Jul 5, 2017 17:57
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guesstimate how long the task will take, double it, then add 6 months works errytime
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Jul 5, 2017 18:27
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lol the project managers work for me. better not let me find who u are chump
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Jul 5, 2017 18:28
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Mr SuperAwesome posted:jira is pretty poo poo btw eh, jira as a piece of software is pretty ok but your experience really depends on if someone non-lovely set it up. also it's reflection of your companies development process so be sure to ask "tell me about your jira" in interviews.
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Jul 5, 2017 19:04
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jira is not the greatest, but it's also far from the worst. it does about eleventy billion things halfway ok, and isn't particularly great for any of them. if you think jira actually sucks for real, you have not used the horrible enterprise products it replaced: remedy, unicenter servicedesk, peoplesoft helpdesk, etc
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Jul 5, 2017 19:16
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instead of a jira we just download the PM's google sheets template and fill in progress manually
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Jul 5, 2017 19:19
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is version one as awful as I've heard? I think my team is going to try to use it
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Jul 5, 2017 19:19
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jira is pretty good and highly customizable, but it doesn't replace the need for someone managing projects and understanding resource constraints.
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Jul 5, 2017 19:21
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Jul 5, 2017 19:37
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let me make a gantt chart and create some epics
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Jul 5, 2017 19:43
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pram posted:let me make a gantt chart and create some epics please stop doxxing my workday
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Jul 5, 2017 19:53
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gotta link those epics to themes too, it's kind of a craft you see
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Jul 5, 2017 19:55
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pram posted:let me make a gantt chart and create some epics pls see the user story (its a photo of my balls)
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Jul 5, 2017 19:59
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current job is p good about "if it's not jira it's not sanctioned work, gently caress you" which saves a lot of paper-trail creatin' idiot emailing
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Jul 5, 2017 20:01
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Notorious b.s.d. posted:jira is not the greatest, but it's also far from the worst. it does about eleventy billion things halfway ok, and isn't particularly great for any of them. i had to build an integration for servicedesk once, and it literally made me quit my job it had the best data models though pre:+----+----------+--+ | id | priority | | +----+----------+--+ | 0 | 4 | | | 1 | 3 | | | 2 | 2 | | | 3 | 1 | | +----+----------+--+
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Jul 5, 2017 20:22
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my project manager is really cool and basically just protects me from the rest of my organizations bullshit
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Jul 5, 2017 20:26
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mishaq posted:my project manager is really cool and basically just protects me from the rest of my organizations bullshit sometimes my teams forget that like 50% of my day is covering for them and making it seems like theyre killing it so ill drag them into a meeting with the whole team of executives and watch them panic at the dozen contradictory demands half assigned to them. its fun. keeps them humble.
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Jul 5, 2017 20:36
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my project manager is an idiot who talks with my idiot software engineering manager they form an idiot distortion field where any meeting involving both of them end with at least 50% misinformation and people who are not intimately familiar with the system will come out even less informed
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Jul 5, 2017 20:59
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All Too Much For Me posted:i had to build an integration for servicedesk once, and it literally made me quit my job also no foreign keys. service desk about made me blow my brains out
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Jul 5, 2017 21:01
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Notorious b.s.d. posted:also no foreign keys. fortunately they used enough SOAP that it wouldn't have been too hard to clean up after <
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Shaggar posted:jira is pretty good and highly customizable, but it doesn't replace the need for someone managing projects and understanding resource constraints. jira sucks because it's too configurable and everyone does it wrong
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Jul 5, 2017 23:20
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we need a project management tool that just works out of the box
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Jul 5, 2017 23:20
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akadajet posted:we need a project management tool that just works out of the box trello 
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Jul 5, 2017 23:24
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akadajet posted:we need a project management tool that just works out of the box clarizen
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Jul 6, 2017 01:07
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Cat Face Joe posted:lol the project managers work for me. better not let me find who u are chump Your in for a surprise during your next performance review little bitch.
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Jul 6, 2017 01:39
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akadajet posted:we need a project management tool that just works out of the box lol
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Jul 6, 2017 01:40
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dragon enthusiast posted:instead of a jira we just download the PM's google sheets template and fill in progress manually we have jira but we also do this too. because any changes we make on the jira end up reflected in graphs and reports that management looks at, so if you don't janitor the jira very carefully you will get annoying questions from the project manager
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Jul 6, 2017 04:03
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Actually is there any good simple PM software with a more standard general contractor/construction/civil engineering emphasis? we don't care about all the fancy poo poo like resource levelling and whose working too hard on task task or w/e. We use Microsoft Project, before that we used SureTrak which was good but stopped being supported when it got bought by Oracle Primavera which is sort of the $$$$$ cadillac poo poo MS Project is full of bugs and has really stupid things, like being unable to set break split in a task, no way to set "generic" resources such that rolling up a baseline is done from planned work and not double counting up from actual work, easily plot earned-value analysis with acwp/bcwp, the actual physical % complete and EAC tends to go horribly wrong (i put in a custom formula to recalc this better), baseline can get really screwed up and using predecessors for task scheduling with resources tends to go horribly haywire and shift poo poo around if you enter Actual Work before its planned or even after idk seems like it's a simple software to make for our basic needs, just no one has made one that isn't poo poo. i almost considered just writing one in excel with some macros to make it not completely suck.
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Jul 6, 2017 04:28
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so write it in excel with some macros
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Jul 6, 2017 04:40
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vaginal facsimile posted:Get back to work bitch lol, you're my bitch whose job it is to sit in meetings, update status, and make schedules so I don't have to. I don't work for you and if I'm late for a deadline I'm just going to lol and then you will have to explain to the higher ups why we're behind schedule.
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Jul 6, 2017 05:24
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The Management posted:lol, you're my bitch whose job it is to sit in meetings, update status, and make schedules so I don't have to. I don't work for you and if I'm late for a deadline I'm just going to lol and then you will have to explain to the higher ups why we're behind schedule. lol if your job and life are so empty and meaningless that acting like this is the only thrill you get
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Jul 6, 2017 05:25
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