July 2017 Current Events: Service Guarantees Surgery.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > July 2017 Current Events: Service Guarantees Surgery.

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Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

It was worth a shot

I can't wait to read the reports forum

# ¿ Jul 5, 2017 20:53

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 03:50

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

ded posted:

Callboy
Callgirl
Camel
Cannibal
Cave man
Chaavanist
Chaot
Chauvi
Cheater
Chicken
Children fucker
Clit
Clown
Cock
Cock master
Cock up
Cockboy
Cockfucker
Cockroach
Coky
Con merchant
Con-man
Country bumpkin
Cow
Creep
Creep
Cretin
Criminal
oval office
oval office sucker

That's a lot of safe words, how am I supposed to finish!?

# ¿ Jul 5, 2017 22:41

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Casimir Radon posted:

*Pootie slides his hand all the way up Donnie's rear end in a top hat and puts on a ventriloquist show

Little late there buddy

# ¿ Jul 6, 2017 07:50

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

https://twitter.com/deptofdefense/status/882992552453971968

# ¿ Jul 6, 2017 19:33

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

I will eat any fried chicken no matter how bad it is. I loving love that poo poo.

# ¿ Jul 6, 2017 20:54

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

facialimpediment posted:

Does Trump though?

Axios says that Tillerson will be in the room too so.... yay? https://twitter.com/justinjm1/status/883034756929253377

Not saying that I'm rooting for Russia, but I would kill to see Putin clown on the 71 year old obese man with dementia.

edit: The only thing close to a fair match would be gay chicken

# ¿ Jul 6, 2017 20:56

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Sub headline: "is this really the only way to create a warrior?"

Maybe, maybe not.

I can think of about 4,000 preventable military deaths that nobody seems to worry about though.

# ¿ Jul 8, 2017 20:10

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Imagine if every other country that lacked viable employment options and saw its citizens attempting to emigrate to the US instead starting electing snake oil dictators who explained that this was everyone else's fault.

What I'm saying is in 20 years Americans will be hopping Canadian fences desperately seeking to sling Tim Hortons and harvest maple syrup.

# ¿ Jul 9, 2017 19:38

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

I thought it was that if you didn't drink and beat your Russian wife, she'd never respect you

# ¿ Jul 9, 2017 23:28

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

He has the best "People Also Searched For" category ever:

# ¿ Jul 10, 2017 01:09

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

facialimpediment posted:

Uh.

WaPo published out Secretary Mattis's phone number a while back because it was on an aide's post-it note on top of some folders.

A ballsy high school reporter then decided gently caress IT I'LL GIVE CHAOS A RING and Mattis called back. It's a newsy-as-hell interview, as it turns out, with topics like a Mideast Marshall Plan and an expanded foreign exchange student idea, it's interesting.

http://mihsislander.org/2017/06/full-transcript-james-mattis-interview/

What's up with the formatting? It looks in some spots like Mattis' answers are being clipped into the student's questions.

# ¿ Jul 10, 2017 18:02

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Peak army:

https://www.army.mil/article/188368/fort_drum_nco_makes_history_at_ranger_school

10th mountain's 2nd BCT command sergeant major redeployed from Iraq early to attend ranger school, accomplishing several things at once:

-Becoming the oldest soldier to graduate ranger school

-Demonstrating how little we're doing in Iraq

-Proving once and for all the absolute uselessness of CSMs

# ¿ Jul 10, 2017 22:31

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

CHICKEN SHOES posted:

i'm the autistic weirdo in that gif

The script writer?

# ¿ Jul 11, 2017 20:32

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Yes and yes, we get it, thank you

# ¿ Jul 12, 2017 02:35

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Proud Christian Mom posted:

Turns out a forever war gets pretty expensive as you keep throwing more meat into the grinder.

My man, forever wars are extremely cheap so long as you get rid of that golden hour bullshit. It's the battlefield survivors breaking the bank. You see what our country needs more than anything is for us to die as our final act of service.

# ¿ Jul 12, 2017 21:21

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

LtCol J. Krusinski posted:

Now he just reports me to Zeris and then he has to sit me down like an after school special and get me to tone down my transphobic posting.

It's a retarded circle I'm gonna cut up by removing my Bradley manning posts in spite of PC faggotry or possibly more likely because of it.

Trust me, I enjoy it about as much as you do

# ¿ Jul 14, 2017 06:54

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

https://twitter.com/LukewSavage/status/882651006227668992

# ¿ Jul 15, 2017 05:52

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

MRC48B posted:

Don't worry, if liberals show even a shred of backbone, Drudge will fall back into lockstep.

Hmm what's likelier

GOP opposition to trump with any substance

Or liberal backbone flexing

# ¿ Jul 15, 2017 21:42

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

So do u think the new health care bill will let everyone take a week off work for a free blood clot removal operation

# ¿ Jul 16, 2017 01:25

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

We are far, far into that psychology experiment where person A will forfeit part of their free money in order to make sure person B gets none.

# ¿ Jul 16, 2017 04:36

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Doc Hawkins posted:

Money has diminishing individual marginal utility: each successive dollar you get does less to improve your life than the one before it did.

Also, people with much higher incomes and wealth spend less of their money as a percentage, creating less economic activity than if it were redistributed to people with less.

Maybe, but getting more money does open opportunities for better ways of making money off of your money. The barrier to entry going from Charles Schwab to some fancy pants private broker is probably no joke, and if a few of your acquaintances are already making bank off the latter, you drat well want a way in too. The Joneses want two things: to have more/better poo poo than their neighbor, and to keep poors (ie minorities) out of the neighborhood.

# ¿ Jul 16, 2017 07:28

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

*horrible bloody cough* trumptron for space president! bring back moon mining jobs!

# ¿ Jul 16, 2017 21:24

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

guys she was a zombie. the zombie thing is finally happening. it's fine though, they got it early. CDC and FBI confiscated body cams.

# ¿ Jul 17, 2017 19:41

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

TBeats posted:

https://twitter.com/travon/status/886818708299145216

Yes this 100% totally happened

Maybe it's like the word oriental, where it's OK to use regarding art and food!

# ¿ Jul 18, 2017 14:38

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Johnny Five-Jaces posted:

I think you'll find the Trump administration most closely resembles the employees of Hardbodies Gym

lmao at this post

BAR script or White House transcript:

Chad: Throw it out?!
Linda: You can't do that! You should put a note up in the ladies' locker room.
Chad: Put a note up? "Highly classified poo poo found, Signals Intelligence poo poo, CIA poo poo? Hello? Did you lose your secret CIA poo poo?" I don't think so.

# ¿ Jul 18, 2017 18:30

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

piss

tape

# ¿ Jul 19, 2017 00:30

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

I agree, you can make a PYF thread about suicidal linkin park lyrics if you absolutely must share. Not here tho.

# ¿ Jul 20, 2017 19:54

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

This all reminds me of the time we had a blender in the house and I was too young and stupid to understand what it was, but I was also trying to gently caress everything I could because it was my way in those days, so I hosed that blender, and it was everyone else's fault.

# ¿ Jul 21, 2017 02:28

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Maybe mccain made a pact with the devil in exchange for release from Hanoi, and we're watching a tumor manifest as he resists against the evil he has sworn to do

# ¿ Jul 26, 2017 13:37

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Dead Reckoning posted:

EXTERIOR: A TROPICAL BEACH

-An older man reclines on a beach chair. A half empty drink with an umbrella sits on the sand next to him. He watches the waves roll in with a relaxed air. Although he has put his burdens down for the moment, the bodyguards with earpieces and Hawaiian shirts concealing their gun belts stand at a tasteful distance, breaking the illusion of a pensioner at his leisure.

Jim Mattis: (under his breath) ".. don't know the reason, stayed here all season..."

-an AIDE hurries across the sand from the direction of the hotel. Nervous, scattered, dreading having to give his boss bad news.

JM: "...but it's a real beauty, a Mexican cutie..."

Aide: "Mister Secretary, sir, the President just went on Twitter and..."

JIM MATTIS puts his fingers in his ears

JM: (at the top of his lungs) "WASTED AWAY AGAIN IN MARGARITAVILLE. LOOKIN' FOR MY LOST SHAKER OF SALT!"

# ¿ Jul 27, 2017 04:12

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Just make a transgender military debate thread. Or go to honeypot.

Just. Walk. Away. There will be an end to the horror.

# ¿ Jul 27, 2017 04:36

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Suicide Watch posted:

Where would the US Navy (or any US military branch really) even be without thai transexual hookers?

... Afghanistan?

# ¿ Jul 27, 2017 06:03

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

important current event!!! :siren:

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/25/business/media/lyft-taco-bell.html

quote:

Taco Bell has, quite literally, found a new marketing vehicle, and its name is Lyft.

The fast-food chain is beginning a venture with the ride-sharing company this week that will allow Lyft passengers to request rides that incorporate a stop at a Taco Bell drive-through between 9 p.m. and 2 a.m.

The companies will test the option, which will appear as �Taco Mode� in the Lyft app, during the next two weeks around a Newport Beach, Calif., location, with plans to expand the program nationally next year.

# ¿ Jul 27, 2017 06:52

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Two Finger posted:

I want to be clear here because I just woke up. Are the GOP turning on trump?

The GOP are always focused on being re-elected at the expense of literally everything else. So figure out whether turning on trump, or not, matters based on that.

# ¿ Jul 27, 2017 21:07

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

TBeats posted:

tbh if trump gave me enough money (lmao) i would collude too

it's a good thing i have no political aspirations because i could be bought pretty easily

so i'd make a great senator.

you sound like a p good president tbh

# ¿ Jul 27, 2017 22:00

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

If Obama had passed a law requiring the FDA to develop pills that made every man's penis 9 inches, there would be mass bonfires of self-severed dicks across the state capitols and legislatures of the land, and Trump would personally sell his real estate holdings to set up an endowment that funds an eternal vigil of Russian hookers that bathe in piss and then leap over the dick-flames while screaming. they'd all get re-elected, too.

Also-

https://twitter.com/libbycwatson/status/890739757533343744

Zeris fucked around with this message at 19:18 on Jul 28, 2017

# ¿ Jul 28, 2017 06:24

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Well, I'm a little concerned.

# ¿ Jul 28, 2017 07:23

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Considering the state of the english language, I don't see a problem with letting robots have a do-over.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2017 22:04

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

LtCol J. Krusinski posted:

This is the CE thread knock off the noise posting or I'm gonna dust you like I'm a Minneapolis police officer and your an Australian spiritual leader.

Someone's got their hall monitor pants too tight today

# ¿ Jul 31, 2017 02:22

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 03:50

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

he's like a batman villain but for 2017

# ¿ Jul 31, 2017 04:22

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > July 2017 Current Events: Service Guarantees Surgery.

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