 This dog follows me everywhere I go.  His tail wags and she jumps when he sees me.  I can't even enjoy a sit down  I have no love the this dog. It is not my Dog. How do I show him I don't love him? |
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Aug 7, 2017 17:01
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| # ? May 3, 2024 05:19 |
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I have scolded this dog I don't think he speaks English though |
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Aug 7, 2017 17:03
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love every dog. problem solved.
paul_soccer12 posted:everyone in the idf must die |
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Aug 7, 2017 17:03
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I have used this dog as a foot stool to make it feel disrespected He just kept my feet warm and seemed to have no concept of shame |
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Aug 7, 2017 17:05
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This stupid fucker dog. This bad idiot dog doesn't know he isn't loved. He thinks he's loved, the loving fool dog, who is presumptuous, and radiates an inappropriate warmth. I don't think I could possibly have any more contempt for this big idiot of affection if I tried. |
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Aug 7, 2017 17:22
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Android Blues posted:This stupid fucker dog. This bad idiot dog doesn't know he isn't loved. He thinks he's loved, the loving fool dog, who is presumptuous, and radiates an inappropriate warmth. I don't think I could possibly have any more contempt for this big idiot of affection if I tried. But how do we make him realize this? |
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Aug 7, 2017 17:25
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Ride The Gravitron posted:But how do we make him realize this? We don't. See, you're in denial, which strangely enough isn't just a river in Egypt. You love your dog, but when you realize you actually do you get all weird inside and feel like someone just put a slice of bologna on your face and shouts at you to not eat it. It's like having someone put a big 'ol crunchy milkbone on the floor in front of you and shouting "BAD DOG!" when you look at the shiny, yummy biscuit and try to make a play for it. Love is like a milkbone dog biscuit that you make a play for, it's that slice of bologna, tantalizingly in reach and yet so far away- it's a belly rub, a tummy scratch; it's rubbing your ears and whispering "good boy!". Here's my dog: 
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Aug 7, 2017 17:36
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I have informed the 🐕 that he is no longer welcomed in my house. I told him it's time to go outside and start a new life far away from me. He needs to go outside! Outside! He seems excited about the possibilities his new life will offer him. 
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Aug 7, 2017 17:52
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Update: I have been tricked. The dog only ran to the backyard to coerce me into playing with him. 
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Aug 7, 2017 17:55
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I showed the dog a metaphorical representation of him. This is you! This is what I want to do to you! And threw it away like I wish to throw this dog away  I think he got to hint because he went after it and away from me like I wanted |
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Aug 7, 2017 18:00
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Update The dog has returned with his metaphorical self as if to mock me. As if he's saying I'll never be rid of him  Like some sick Edgar Allen Poe story Barked the doggy "love me more!" |
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Aug 7, 2017 18:02
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Ride The Gravitron posted:I think he got to hint because he went after it and away from me like I wanted dont' speak so soon op ;) |
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Aug 7, 2017 18:03
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I have decided to make this dog feel unwelcomed by offering him the worst and most unhealthy food choices Processed meats and cheeses |
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Aug 7, 2017 18:13
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I think my plan backfired He now sits in front of me as if he's asking for more. Please help me byob, I can not take more of this |
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Aug 7, 2017 18:16
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maybe he needs tactile instructions... try sliding yourr hand across the back if his head, front to back, to indicate the direction you want him to go (backward / away from you) |
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Aug 7, 2017 18:19
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You must destroy the dog. |
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Aug 7, 2017 18:23
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yeah actually they will posted:You must destroy the dog. he's trying. didn't you see that processed food he was feeding him?
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Aug 7, 2017 18:24
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alnilam posted:maybe he needs tactile instructions... try sliding yourr hand across the back if his head, front to back, to indicate the direction you want him to go (backward / away from you)  This attempt was also unsuccessful. This dog must have incredible willpower to endure such torture and firm demands |
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Aug 7, 2017 18:28
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I have recruited an older dog to come defend me. Perhaps he can express to the young one my displeasure with him
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Aug 7, 2017 18:37
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woah woah woah, is that a second dog? me thinks your troubles are only beginning. |
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Aug 7, 2017 18:37
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Okay, you need to hurt his feelings beyond repair to make your position clear. Send him this-  but cross out the words and write 'I really hope you get stepped on by a giant horse'.
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Aug 7, 2017 18:38
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My savior has tired out He could not keep up with the stamina of the younger one. I am now at his mercy  I am scared |
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Aug 7, 2017 18:46
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hockey jockey posted:Okay, you need to hurt his feelings beyond repair to make your position clear. I lack the printer to make this truly happen. I had to improvise   I fear the impact it should have had was lost due to my lack of printer |
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Aug 7, 2017 18:53
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have you tried reverse psychology? tell him he is a very good dog and that you love him while cuddling. he may feel stifled by your sudden clinginess and choose to leave of his own accord.
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Aug 7, 2017 18:56
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alnilam posted:maybe he needs tactile instructions... try sliding yourr hand across the back if his head, front to back, to indicate the direction you want him to go (backward / away from you) Higgy posted:have you tried reverse psychology? |
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Aug 7, 2017 18:58
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Ride The Gravitron posted:I lack the printer to make this truly happen. I had to improvise He looks pretty downbeat to me! Definitely some serious thinking going on. He will lie awake tonight, with that picture running through his head.
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Aug 7, 2017 19:06
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Higgy posted:have you tried reverse psychology? I was hesitant to try this. The beast is clever and he's already out smarted me today. But I was desperate. And desperation breeds recklessness. He pounced on me as brought me low in an attack of love. I could not capture the moment very well but I feel I captured the essence of the chaos       Eventually the elder dog came to my rescue 
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Aug 7, 2017 19:16
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The dog slumbers. The look on it's smug face is clear. This is a victory nap. It may have won the battle but I promise it will not win the war. I will retreat and regroup, come back more spiteful than ever. |
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Aug 7, 2017 19:24
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Oh, this is an easy one. Here's the problem: you are white. Dogs consider white people extremely docile and subjugatable. All you need to do is smear your skin with peanut butter, thus changing the color of your skin, and he will be so repulsed that he will pack up and ship out before property values tumble even more. |
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Aug 7, 2017 19:29
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nobodygetshurt posted:Oh, this is an easy one. Here's the problem: you are white. Dogs consider white people extremely approachable. wasn't sure where this one was headed but the pb was a great twist |
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Aug 7, 2017 19:30
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nobodygetshurt posted:Oh, this is an easy one. Here's the problem: you are white. Dogs consider white people extremely docile and subjugatable. BUT! Dog is white too. Maybe smear him with PB too, in case he looks in a mirror on his way out.
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Aug 7, 2017 19:44
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But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved this dog.
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Aug 7, 2017 19:57
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Sarah MacLachlan: "No, of course I don't actually like dogs. Despite everything I try, they love ME and follow me around because they think I love THEM. I don't do those commercials because I care, I need the money to clean up all the dog poop around my property because the dogs won't leave me alone!"
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Aug 7, 2017 20:29
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Splatmaster posted:Sarah MacLachlan: "No, of course I don't actually like dogs. Despite everything I try, they love ME and follow me around because they think I love THEM. I don't do those commercials because I care, I need the money to clean up all the dog poop around my property because the dogs won't leave me alone!" "In the arms of an angel, fly away from here" isn't a narrative, it's an imperative directed at the dogs |
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Aug 7, 2017 20:35
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drive a car or better yet a pickup truck with a window down so the dog can stick his head out into the wind and slobber all over your windows. this will give the dog the experience of flying, and will hopefully suggest the idea of flying away from you, to some dog nest in the faraway trees
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Aug 7, 2017 20:52
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have sex in front of the dog. he will be so disgusted he will run away
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Aug 7, 2017 21:23
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alnilam posted:"In the arms of an angel, fly away from here" isn't a narrative, it's an imperative directed at the dogs im laughing |
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Aug 7, 2017 23:38
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Here's the thing about dogs: They follow me around, and I pet them, and I scratch their bullies. But I don't have to. I could gently caress up a dog. I could do some damage. That dog thinks I love it? Yeah, it does. But the truth is, I can carry objects, and I'm very large. I could drop a rock on the dog, or pick it up and drop it on a rock. I could do something with a bridge. I could spin it around or send it into space. I could teach it to drive poorly. My point is, there are a lot of ways I could ruin that dog's day, if I wanted to. That's just something that I can do, as a human, because my arms employ the principle of leverage. |
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Aug 7, 2017 23:42
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Mary Jo Kopechne thought Ted Kennedy loved her too. You know what you have to do, OP.
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Aug 7, 2017 23:51
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| # ? May 3, 2024 05:19 |
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MY INEVITABLE DEBT posted:Blunt rolling FAIL!!! Dog Covered in Weed!!
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Aug 8, 2017 05:37
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