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AverySpecialfriend posted:Just post just post just ): AverySpecialfriend posted:crook-tailed cats love ):< AverySpecialfriend posted:I'm gonna level with you I didn't read the op first D:< oh youre going to get it now bucko crimes |
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Aug 29, 2017 19:01
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| # ? May 4, 2024 14:28 |
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| i actually liked my poem and felt like it was in the spirit of haiku if not the explicit structure | |
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Aug 29, 2017 19:34
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a haiku will do if poetry isn't for you sixteen is too few Haikusday at work should be doing something else nah, BYOB thank you for the thread finally an excuse to post me some haiku obligatory true nature haiku right here man, I messed this up let me try again winter wind brings autumn leaves strike that, reverse it |
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Aug 29, 2017 19:57
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clock hands move too slow bowl filled lighter at the ready four twenty comes soon https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Aug 29, 2017 21:33
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AverySpecialfriend posted:i actually liked my poem and felt like it was in the spirit of haiku if not the explicit structure I also felt that. Some things are more or less negotiable in the switch from Japanese to English. The 5-7-5 structure is misleading because Japanese uses more syllables to say the same thing because basically every consonant sound needs to be followed by a vowel sound, which you can see when they take English words like "ice cream" becomes "ice-u ka-ri-mu." So something like a 2-3-2 syllabic structure is more apt but perhaps a little too restrictive. Some people suggest what you're looking for is not just syllables of any kind, but stressed syllables only, so "big bird," "paper crane" and "several parrots" would all count as 2. Practically, the lines should always be short and the middle one should be slightly longer but still short. Less negotiable are the seasonal reference and the three-line structure. The lineation is particularly important because it facilitates a common feature of many haiku, which is a "turn" in the middle line. A major function of a haiku is to suggest relationships between seemingly unrelated or coincidental phenomena. The turn in the middle involves a multivalent line which can apply in some sense to either the first or the last line, as can be seen in this poem from Basho: inazuma ya yami no kata yuku goi no koe Which literally translates as: lightning ! (ya is an intensifier) darkness's direction go night heron's voice There are many translations of this haiku, not all of which preserve the order of the images, which is a problem because, as you may be able to see, that middle line can refer either to the lightning or the night heron's voice. Here's a responsible translation which preserves that aspect, though: a flash of lightning passing through the darkness a night heron's scream (Ueda) As you can see, the pivot's multivalence encourages the reader to contemplate the relationship between these images, a relationship which includes temporal simultaneity, of course, but also the qualities of being startling, powerful, and brief, and the whiteness of the heron and the brightness of the lightning. This is a good "teaching haiku" because it illustrates this particular principle very plainly; many haiku are much more subtle and intuitive about the proposed relationship, requiring the user to feel, rather than logically map out, the connection. The relationship does not have to be conceptual or metaphorical, either. It could be the a causal relationship with a hidden element, and I think your poem fits that bill nicely; what are the circumstances under which this connection between the cats and the engine was observed; from what vantage point, in effect, are we being shown this image? The hidden factor is the position of the speaker himself; from a few such connections we begin to construct a world. So in spirit, this is a haiku but formally the lack of a middle line makes it not one. It's more like Pound's famous couplet (also haiku-inspired): The apparition of these faces in the crowd; Petals on a wet, black bough. |
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Aug 29, 2017 21:59
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| Dang thank you for that schooling cda | |
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Aug 29, 2017 22:06
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*the ancient zen master paints a flawless, imperfect circle on a crisp white sheet of paper* Perhaps I have been. . . Unyielding. crimes |
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Aug 29, 2017 22:09
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Crisp breeze at night blows Windows no longer shut tight The leaves will soon fall https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Aug 29, 2017 22:11
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Thanks for the haiku education (haikuducation?) Let me try a better one: morning fog rolls in a divine haze awaits me first bowl of the day |
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Aug 29, 2017 22:18
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AverySpecialfriend posted:Dang thank you for that schooling cda artoke posted:Thanks for the haiku education (haikuducation?) Let me try a better one: https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Aug 29, 2017 22:20
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broken glass bottles shimmer in the sunshine as the sea eats the bluffs |
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Aug 29, 2017 22:40
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ate a cheese burger a beefy beefy big burg on this summer night |
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Aug 30, 2017 02:05
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as the sun, ever bolder steals through my curtain, the rhythm of crickets wakes me up again
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Sep 5, 2017 14:27
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Do you remember Twenty first of September Never clouds that day https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Sep 5, 2017 14:34
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Here I go, again on my own, going down the only road ever Like a hobo I was born to walk alone, & made up my mind Tuesday sunshine on yesterday's hangover, I should re-sticky this crimes |
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Sep 5, 2017 15:22
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the toad next to the baby pumpkin admires himself ---------------- |
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Sep 5, 2017 16:32
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fireworks, thunder -- my heart skips a beat and aches where bullets are lodged |
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Sep 5, 2017 17:22
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Hi! Cougar stalking Creeping low for food to eat I hope it's not me https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Sep 5, 2017 17:44
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A null reference Where my heart's pointer should be; Your input, unclean |
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Sep 5, 2017 20:36
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Pumpkin spice is back! How I rejoice your return! Some uses are weird https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Sep 5, 2017 21:36
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Oh gently caress it is hot Return to the cool workplace Labor Day sucked balls
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Sep 5, 2017 23:08
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The Joy of Painting Happy trees hide killer bees Paint the fears within All for the nookie I do not want this cookie Stick it up your, yeah
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Sep 5, 2017 23:25
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blowing smoke like a reticulated python uncoiling itself |
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Sep 5, 2017 23:27
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the sun's heat swelters sitting in underwear now drinking a cold one |
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Sep 6, 2017 00:16
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lightning flashes dimly miles away, while the moon and all her children hide
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Sep 6, 2017 01:54
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y'all this is officially the last Haikusday with me as your IK so if anyone wants a haikooligan gang tag now's the time to post more haiku
crimes |
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Sep 12, 2017 16:13
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:y'all this is officially the last Haikusday with me as your IK so if anyone wants a haikooligan gang tag now's the time to post more haiku hey Phiz Kalifa put this haiku in your pipe smoke til dat wed rear end 
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Sep 12, 2017 16:22
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Trees in the distance Dance to greet the fall breezes Work can wait an hour. |
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Sep 12, 2017 16:44
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Strange bumps in the night Neighbors, this is getting lewd Still I smile for you. |
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Sep 12, 2017 16:46
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Eyes in the darkness Rats as fat as old turkeys Kings of the city |
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Sep 12, 2017 16:48
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the rain is gone but still i hear it dripping from the trees
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Sep 12, 2017 16:54
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helicopters agitate the air above black walnut trees ---------------- |
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Sep 12, 2017 17:30
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Waiting for Wednesday For It is Wednesday, my dudes! Croaks the Wednesday Frog Apparently I'm #1 Kotori fan |
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Sep 12, 2017 17:42
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there are no seasons in a california office |
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Sep 12, 2017 18:09
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The thought of no more Haikusday made me sad so I wrote this haiku: fall brings only snow what is the point of trying my life is worthless |
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Sep 12, 2017 22:24
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Autumn approaches But the pool still isn't closed; One last swim awaits |
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Sep 13, 2017 02:43
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thanks 2 everyone who made this silly thread home <3 i hope u like ur new titles & wear them proudly into battle.
crimes |
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Sep 13, 2017 15:31
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Thank you haiku to The giver of my title I will wear proudly |
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Sep 13, 2017 15:51
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Haikus are so fun You're the IK of my heart Mister Kalifa |
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Sep 13, 2017 16:14
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| # ? May 4, 2024 14:28 |
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:thanks 2 everyone who made this silly thread home <3 i hope u like ur new titles & wear them proudly into battle. Thanks for making it. I like poetry. |
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Sep 13, 2017 17:25
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