Times porn had led you astray

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Ride The Gravitron: by FactsAreUseless

This busty hitchhiker just wanted to stab me.

# ? Aug 25, 2017 06:07

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 3, 2024 16:40

Ride The Gravitron: by FactsAreUseless

My pool is spotless but I still haven't been laid

# ? Aug 25, 2017 06:08

Ride The Gravitron: by FactsAreUseless

After ordering countless pizzas with extra suasage all I have is high cholesterol.

# ? Aug 25, 2017 06:09

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

i had sex with the plumber but I had to smell my backed-up toilet the whole time

# ? Aug 25, 2017 08:07

Sing Along: by Athanatos

stumbled upon wasps nest while in pursuit of woods porn

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# ? Aug 25, 2017 09:39

Sham bam bamina!: ƨtupid cat

jacked off at work and now im fired

# ? Aug 25, 2017 09:53

Jedrick: There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high-powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Smoke weed every day.

turns out you can't just start grabbin' titties on the train

# ? Aug 25, 2017 10:29

Jedrick: There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high-powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Smoke weed every day.

getting fondant and icing up your butthole isn't as fun as it looks

# ? Aug 25, 2017 10:44

alnilam

From my own personal sampling, only 1 in 16 cable technicians is hot, shes not interested, and the cable company has stopped answering my calls

# ? Aug 25, 2017 13:19

Allie

i don't have an example of this. i think it lead me right where i'm supposed to be. both sucking dick, and enjoying the softer flesh of the fairer sex. porn made that more obvious to me despite society around me suppressing those ideas. you know

wait, poo poo i got real and iw isn't supposed to do that. my bad

# ? Aug 25, 2017 13:26

Ride The Gravitron: by FactsAreUseless

Not only did the sexy librarian ban me but I also failed my book report

# ? Aug 25, 2017 17:10

vanisher

Didn't wear a condom and now i've got these child support payments

_{Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext}

# ? Aug 25, 2017 17:27

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

I have found interviews much less intense than promised. I have, however, found repair people much more professional than promised.

# ? Aug 25, 2017 19:48

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

Smooth jazz almost never plays when I unbutton my shirt and that's a shame.

# ? Aug 25, 2017 19:49

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

As it turns out, the tyrannosaurus rex never historically co-existed with big rear end latinas

# ? Aug 25, 2017 20:26

Meeksha: i did it all for the nookie
Ask me how!
-freb dust

i keep helping out college girls in need of money for books but none of them offer whoopie. they're just trying to build a successful future for themselves so, rather than a mindblowing orgasm, i find pleasure in knowing that i am helping out the future generation.

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come on and slam and welcome to the jam

Thank you Heather Papps for the summer sig!

# ? Aug 25, 2017 21:01

vanisher

Meeksha posted:

i keep helping out college girls in need of money for books but none of them offer whoopie. they're just trying to build a successful future for themselves so, rather than a mindblowing orgasm, i find pleasure in knowing that i am helping out the future generation.

# ? Aug 25, 2017 21:03

Meeksha: i did it all for the nookie
Ask me how!
-freb dust

when i recently bought a home, i didn't get a discount when i tried to make sex at the real estate agent. she ended up spraying mace in my face and didn't sell me the house. i blame porn for the fact that i now live under an overpass. also my eyesight is not what it used to be.

oh well i suppose you can't believe everything you see on the internet, that's the lesson i learned.

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come on and slam and welcome to the jam

Thank you Heather Papps for the summer sig!

# ? Aug 25, 2017 21:05

FactsAreUseless

I thought she was a busty anal teen but she was just short and had OCD.

# ? Aug 25, 2017 22:15

Scaly Haylie

FactsAreUseless posted:

I thought she was a busty anal teen but she was just short and had OCD.

# ? Aug 25, 2017 22:56

byob historian: I'm an animal abusing piece of shit! I deliberately poisoned my dog to death and think it's funny! I'm an irredeemable sack of human shit!

porn led me to the conclusion that a guy as handsome as me would get some attention from the ladies :smith:

# ? Aug 25, 2017 23:18

Manifisto

I don't know who was more surprised--me, at learning there was something called the british broadcasting corporation, or my date, who I suspect strongly regretted expressing her enthusiasm for it

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Aug 26, 2017 03:27

Olive!: It's not a ghost, but probably a 'living corpse'. The 'living dead' with a hell of a lot of bloodlust...

Drink-Mix Man posted:

As it turns out, the tyrannosaurus rex never historically co-existed with big rear end latinas

They actually did, but it was before the invention of the segway

_{Thanks to HotSoapyBeard for the sig image!}

# ? Aug 26, 2017 04:02

Olive!: It's not a ghost, but probably a 'living corpse'. The 'living dead' with a hell of a lot of bloodlust...

I've got a whole grove of lemon trees and not one whore has come to steal any

_{Thanks to HotSoapyBeard for the sig image!}

# ? Aug 26, 2017 04:03

Petr

I thought other humans would want to be intimate with me, that I would be loved

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Aug 26, 2017 07:33

Starshark

I hosed my sister and now I've got legal problems out the wazoo, sheesh.

Oh wait... You mean it's supposed to be step sisters?

# ? Aug 26, 2017 12:51

Meeksha: i did it all for the nookie
Ask me how!
-freb dust

Petr posted:

I thought other humans would want to be intimate with me, that I would be loved

-----

come on and slam and welcome to the jam

Thank you Heather Papps for the summer sig!

# ? Aug 26, 2017 15:50

alnilam

I keep reading the thread title as "time-porn has led you astray" and that the thread is going to tell me that all the time-porn I've been watching is bogus

# ? Aug 26, 2017 16:40

byob historian: I'm an animal abusing piece of shit! I deliberately poisoned my dog to death and think it's funny! I'm an irredeemable sack of human shit!

alnilam posted:

I keep reading the thread title as "time-porn has led you astray" and that the thread is going to tell me that all the time-porn I've been watching is bogus

the day i discovered there was a time travel romance section in the bookstore still blows my mind :lsd:

# ? Aug 26, 2017 17:28

Manifisto

alnilam posted:

I keep reading the thread title as "time-porn has led you astray" and that the thread is going to tell me that all the time-porn I've been watching is bogus

it's tesserporn or nothing

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Aug 26, 2017 22:00

Baller Ina: :whattheeucharist:

alnilam posted:

I keep reading the thread title as "time-porn has led you astray" and that the thread is going to tell me that all the time-porn I've been watching is bogus

6:59

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Aug 28, 2017 04:27

mailorder bees: FLUFFERNUTTER

Petr posted:

I thought other humans would want to be intimate with me, that I would be loved

thanks Manifisto!

# ? Aug 28, 2017 05:29

Ride The Gravitron: by FactsAreUseless

Doctor says I've strained every muscle in my body and that the moves I saw were simply camera tricks. I may never have sex again.

# ? Aug 28, 2017 05:56

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD

Drink-Mix Man posted:

As it turns out, the tyrannosaurus rex never historically co-existed with big rear end latinas

# ? Aug 28, 2017 06:00

The X-man cometh

I offered to work late with my boss, and then tried to sleep with him for the big promotion.

I got fired and the job went to someone with excellent qualifications and work performance.

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Aug 28, 2017 18:45