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May 5, 2024 21:20
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- Kthulhu5000
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by R. Guyovich
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is your dick VHS or *snort* Beta?
no, wait
"short play"
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Aug 27, 2017 05:53
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- Kthulhu5000
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by R. Guyovich
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anyhow, tune your TV to channel 3. press REWIND on your VCR and let it run for 30 seconds. press eject and squirt in some head cleaner fluid (which is isopropyl alcohol with a 10x markup). then press PLAY and count out a full rotation ("one Mississip" to "ten Mississip"). put your TV's volume to 10 and look at the screen. if you see your dick on it, then congratulations! Your RECORD function is functioning functionally!
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Aug 27, 2017 05:57
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- FutonForensic
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magnacox
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Aug 27, 2017 06:22
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- Ride The Gravitron
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by FactsAreUseless
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anyhow, tune your TV to channel 3. press REWIND on your VCR and let it run for 30 seconds. press eject and squirt in some head cleaner fluid (which is isopropyl alcohol with a 10x markup). then press PLAY and count out a full rotation ("one Mississip" to "ten Mississip"). put your TV's volume to 10 and look at the screen. if you see your dick on it, then congratulations! Your RECORD function is functioning functionally!
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Aug 27, 2017 07:26
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- Olive!
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It's not a ghost, but probably a 'living corpse'. The 'living dead' with a hell of a lot of bloodlust...
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that's not how you make a sex tape, op
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Aug 27, 2017 07:36
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- drilldo squirt
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a beautiful, soft meat sack
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How deep is you dick in the vcr? Also how much of it is outside the vcr? Also, tell me about your shaft and balls.
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Aug 27, 2017 08:10
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- drilldo squirt
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a beautiful, soft meat sack
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If you tell me your dick dimensions and the vcr model number with a general idea of place and position I think I can talk you through disassembling the vcr to get your dick out.
drilldo squirt fucked around with this message at 08:14 on Aug 27, 2017
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Aug 27, 2017 08:11
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- little munchkin
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it's one of the normal, not embarassing reasons that someone would get their dick stuck in a vcr. i won't tell you which one though
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Aug 27, 2017 08:16
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- Dads Dip Cup
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what *I* want to know is how to set the drat clock on the thing instead of it just sitting there flashing 8=:=D constantly
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Aug 27, 2017 10:53
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- sebmojo
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Legit Cyberpunk
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be kind: rewind
e: sorry i see that advice has been given best of luck op and godspped
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Aug 27, 2017 13:27
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- cda
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by Hand Knit
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it's one of the normal, not embarassing reasons that someone would get their dick stuck in a vcr. i won't tell you which one though
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Aug 27, 2017 14:44
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- cda
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by Hand Knit
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"How did you get your dick stuck in the VCR" is basically the same question as "why did you get your dick stuck in the VCR," so I shan't be answering it, but for your information, the reason I was using a VCR rather than streaming is that Netflix's selection leaves much to be desired.
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Aug 27, 2017 14:46
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- Pot Smoke Phoenix
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Smoke 'em if you gottem!
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Chances are you've gone ahead and gotten your foreskin stuck between a pinch roller and capstan. This is a problem. Pinch rollers and capstans are designed to pinch a VCR tape, not a foreskin. The tape sensor inside the unit is clearly detecting YOUR unit, so we're going to have to resort to drastic, albeit non-destructive measures.
-Ejaculate profusely into the interior of the VCR
It's possible you may activate the dew sensor which forces the VCR to eject the cassette (in this case, your dillz) so you may "get off" lucky, if you will (and we both know you in fact, will)
-Call the toll-free number on the device
More likely than not someone on the other end of the line will have heard of your situation and can get someone to help you out. Of your VCR. If not you will most certainly be making someone's day I can tell you that much!
"Hey, Charlie- I got a call today, some dude got his junk caught in a VCR hahahah!" is what they will say to their coworker even if their name isn't Charlie.
-Scream loudly and with a shrill, piercing tone
It's not going to eject your junk but it will attract a bunch of nosey busy-bodies with nothing better to do than to sit there and tell you how to remove yourself from your plight. Perhaps one of the not-so-innocent anymore bystanders will be a McGuyver pothead and will contrive some means of conveying you from the innards of your antiquated media player presently.
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!
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Aug 27, 2017 15:00
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- crusty
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Crustacean
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Aug 27, 2017 16:45
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- little munchkin
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Hey op, professional EMT here, and I just want to say there's no need to be so embarassed about getting your dick stuck in a VCR. We've all been there. Hell, how do you think us professionals got so good at removing them in the first place.
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Aug 27, 2017 18:05
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- Olive!
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It's not a ghost, but probably a 'living corpse'. The 'living dead' with a hell of a lot of bloodlust...
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piss forcefully
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Aug 27, 2017 18:08
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- vanisher
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Its very normal and natural to feel a little nostalgia, perhaps even lust, for days gone by
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Aug 27, 2017 18:19
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- cda
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by Hand Knit
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It's only natural to wonder about how my penis became lodged in this VCR player, but you need to restrain yourself. If civilization means anything, it means that we suppress our animal impulses for knowing why people's dicks are in various places and instead uphold a sense of decorum which is the underpinning of civil society. Try hitting "fast forward" on the remote and see if that does anything.
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Aug 27, 2017 18:27
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- cda
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by Hand Knit
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Got no time for haters 👏 people who expect me to do emotional labor for free 👏 and people who ask me why my dick is stuck in the VCR 👏
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Aug 27, 2017 19:47
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- Piso Mojado
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How deep is you dick in the vcr? Also how much of it is outside the vcr? Also, tell me about your shaft and balls.
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Aug 27, 2017 20:58
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- Piso Mojado
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nakedly waiting while a teenage Best Buy employee googles "VCR"
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Aug 27, 2017 21:02
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- Barking Gecko
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Mahoro says, "Naughty things are bad."
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I think you are rapidly approaching a critical decision point.
Very soon you will have to decide which is more important to you:
your dong
or
your VCR.
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Aug 27, 2017 22:21
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- Olive!
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It's not a ghost, but probably a 'living corpse'. The 'living dead' with a hell of a lot of bloodlust...
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Assuming it won't come out, you're gonna have to start wearing a skirt. If the idea hurts your masculinity too much you can call it a kilt. If you really can't stand to do that, you could try parachute pants but I really can't endorse that
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Aug 27, 2017 22:32
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- ShinyBirdTeeth
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sparkle sparkle sparkle
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Do you have that special VCR head cleaning tape?
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Aug 27, 2017 22:45
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- ShinyBirdTeeth
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sparkle sparkle sparkle
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Tell the ladies you have a real big unit and later they'll get a good chuckle.
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Aug 27, 2017 22:47
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- ShinyBirdTeeth
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sparkle sparkle sparkle
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I know this isn't exactly what you want to hear, but if you get an adapter for your PC then you can just digitize your wiener and not have to mess with physical media at all.
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Aug 27, 2017 22:49
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- cda
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by Hand Knit
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My therapist says I need to set boundaries so I'm going to be firm with you: I asked you here to help me dislodge my member from this VCR, not to ask me why it's in there in the first place. My self-care is not your concern.
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Aug 28, 2017 02:39
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- cda
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by Hand Knit
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I have come to this snowbound mountain monastery with my dick in this VCR for one reason only: to make sure nobody asks me why it's in there, while they're helping me get it out.
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Aug 28, 2017 02:41
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- alnilam
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Tell the ladies you have a real big unit and later they'll get a good chuckle.
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Aug 28, 2017 02:42
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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May 5, 2024 21:20
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- Robot Made of Meat
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There was an earlier post about a ball peen hammer, and it made me laugh. Just wanted everyone to know.
Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!
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Aug 28, 2017 05:09
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