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Oh, and BTW, I fix things for a living, and my idea of heaven is for customers NOT to explain anything to me. I don't care. I don't want to know. I don't need to know. Give me the broken thing and go away! Well unless it involves penises stuck in VCRs. Then just quietly walk into the shop and read a magazine or something. I'll sort it out without any chit-chat.
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Aug 28, 2017 05:16
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| # ? May 5, 2024 15:39 |
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Day 5: My wife left me yesterday. Last morning she screamed at me: "It's me or the f***ing VCR! I don't care if ######## is stuck in there too, I just want my husband back!" Easiest decision I've ever made, I almost wish I wanted to tell you why. So yeah, life's going pretty great. The old lady used to always used to poo poo on my hobbies, but now with her gone, and my job no longer sucking up all my time, I'm going to get so much accomplished. Looking forward to my new life as a liberated man, and to think, I owe it all to a VCR and a very special second thing that is none of your God damned business. |
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Aug 28, 2017 06:06
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As long as you're fine with your life is all good mate. |
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Aug 28, 2017 10:50
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I would like to thank my friends, my family, all the talented wonderful people, and unlabled causal forces of a delicate nature. |
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Aug 28, 2017 13:00
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Tony, outside of the cursed 7-11, stuck part way inside of the RedBox.
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Aug 28, 2017 13:06
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What's worse than getting your dick stuck in the VCR? Getting your dick stuck in a VCR while your conjoined twin Alex makes excuses for you, like you need that, right?
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Aug 28, 2017 16:38
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In my Will you will find instructions to bury me with the VCR intact, if no other burial arrangements by Magnavox take precedence |
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Aug 28, 2017 18:51
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I want to support the dicks-caught-in-VCRs movement, but I don't want to break my dick. Would it be offensive or even culturally appropriative to have a VCR replica built around my dick? |
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Aug 28, 2017 21:00
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SciFiDownBeat posted:I want to support the dicks-caught-in-VCRs movement, but I don't want to break my dick. Would it be offensive or even culturally appropriative to have a VCR replica built around my dick? I understand some people are opting to pierce their dicks with an mp3 player which begs the question- is it bluetooth??? https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Aug 28, 2017 21:44
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When I get hard, the pain is excruciating. It;s like a merciless crab tightening its vice on me. Female electronics am i right! |
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Aug 28, 2017 22:25
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| vhs tapes all over the world are rapidly deteriorating as the tape becomes demagnetized. there are some groups working to restore the tapes and back them up to more stable storage media i.e. digital. have you considered backing up your wiener to a digital storage medium in case something like this ever happens, which it has? | |
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Aug 28, 2017 22:31
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if you turn on the tv you can check your cock for warts |
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Aug 28, 2017 23:20
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nice humblebrag OP
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Aug 29, 2017 00:08
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argh drat, someone help my dick is stuck in the pizza oven and im hungry |
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Aug 29, 2017 00:30
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Slugnoid posted:argh drat, someone help my dick is stuck in the pizza oven and im hungry just wait it should be done in a few minutes |
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Aug 29, 2017 00:44
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Day 12: It's been a week since my wife left. I've given up on sleeping, cleaning, and even bathing. I haven't talked to another person in days, leaving cash on my front step in exchange for takeout ordered online. The VCR is my only companion. I hate it, though I don't know if I could live without it, but please don't ask me why. Last night was particularly difficult. While I was staring down at the nightmare puzzle box that is my genitals, the light of the clock began blinking out of time, like it had skipped a beat in an act of ultimate betrayal. It flashed in my face mockingly: 12:00 12:00 12:00 Without breaking eye contact, I reached for the ball peen hammer. I had told myself that I wouldn't resort to using the implement, lest I damaged the VCR's sacred cargo, yet I had anyways kept it within arms reach. 12:00 12:00 In a furor, I slammed the unit down onto the kitchen table, sending a pile of filth encrusted takeout boxes and wet wipes careening to the ground. My trembling hands held the hammer aloft, it was now or never. 12:00 With that flash, something chemical changed in my brain. Maybe it was the acceptance that the contents of the VCR are more valuable to me than my manhood, or maybe that, just perhaps, there never even was a reason behind it all to begin with. My lips began to curl, and my body lurched. Coughing out an exasperated chuckle, I mumbled to myself: "Heh... peen." My eyes blurred as tears ran down my cheeks. The hammer hit the ground with a thud, and I followed suit, crumpling onto the dirty kitchen floor. I think I'm finally starting to understand. |
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Aug 29, 2017 00:49
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| *me with my dick stuck in the vcr* they say you gotta be a rocket scientist to program one of these things, and well, im no rocket scientist... | |
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Aug 29, 2017 01:01
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My dick is stuck on a record player's needle, interestingly the resulting noise is very similar to brahms' hungarian dances pitched down a half-step |
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Aug 29, 2017 01:06
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AverySpecialfriend posted:*me with my dick stuck in the vcr* they say you gotta be a rocket scientist to program one of these things, and well, im no rocket scientist... ---------------- |
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Aug 29, 2017 04:13
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Hey OP, now that the wife is gone, let me know if you ever decide you'd like to get out of that ol' thing and treat yourself to something nice.
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Sep 1, 2017 20:28
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Dick in the VCR: everyone's asking questions Dick in a race car: everyone's asking for a ride |
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Sep 1, 2017 20:29
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lol |
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Sep 1, 2017 20:30
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I hope you're doing well OP. You can make history carrying old tech to the new century.
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Sep 2, 2017 01:31
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Gay Weed Dad posted:Dick in the VCR: everyone's asking questions There are very few places you can stick your dick in without causing a whole thing, and frankly, I think it's unfair. ---------------- |
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Sep 2, 2017 02:15
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*morrisey voice* dick's in a VCR, I know, I know, mysterious
---------------- |
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Sep 2, 2017 03:20
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Girl 1: Check out that hot guy Girl 2: Ugh hes like 50 Janet Girl 1: But did you see that VCR hanging from his pants? |
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Sep 2, 2017 03:32
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Day 21: Hand stuck in toaster. My ascension continues. |
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Sep 2, 2017 04:20
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little munchkin posted:*morrisey voice* dick's in a VCR, I know, I know, mysterious |
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Sep 2, 2017 11:55
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Jedrick posted:Day 21: Can I ask you why? |
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Sep 2, 2017 11:56
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cda posted:Can I ask you why? We are well past why my friend, but no. |
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Sep 2, 2017 17:31
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little munchkin posted:*morrisey voice* dick's in a VCR, I know, I know, mysterious To get my dick stuck in a vcr by your side, what a heavenly way to rewind |
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Sep 2, 2017 18:14
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Help my.little brother Richard is stuck in the vcr he's very small |
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Sep 2, 2017 18:14
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To clarify, Richards penis is stuck in the vcr, he thought it would be funny (he's a very ironic person) but now it's actually stuck and it is no longer funny |
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Sep 2, 2017 18:16
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albany academy posted:To clarify, Richards penis is stuck in the vcr, he thought it would be funny (he's a very ironic person) but now it's actually stuck and it is no longer funny he should try grasping the pen with pliers and slowly but firmly pulling it out. a gentle side-to-side wriggle or slight twisting motion might help.
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Sep 2, 2017 21:58
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albany academy posted:To clarify, Richards penis is stuck in the vcr, he thought it would be funny (he's a very ironic person) but now it's actually stuck and it is no longer funny He has started his way down a difficult but enlightening path. Do not fear his transformation, but look to it as an informative glimpse into future of mankind. |
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Sep 3, 2017 01:23
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Jedrick posted:He has started his way down a difficult but enlightening path. Do not fear his transformation, but look to it as an informative glimpse into future of mankind.  imagine a Mitsubishi Black Diamond VCR clamping down on a human penis, forever sebmojo fucked around with this message at 12:09 on Sep 3, 2017 ---------------- |
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Sep 3, 2017 12:04
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On one hand, I'm upset about having my manhood trapped in an obsolete playback device. On the other hand, I'm pretty sure this is covered by that Best Buy Extended Warranty. |
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Sep 3, 2017 14:02
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| # ? May 5, 2024 15:39 |
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OP please return the property you walked out of the Mindfuck Academy library's media center with or fill out a library check out form. -Mindfuck Academy Faculty https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Sep 4, 2017 01:09
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