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Man, I really hate Tim Cook's voice.
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Sep 12, 2017 18:06
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Over There posted:I can not get this stream up to save my life. Try a private browsing window. It wouldn't work right for me either.
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Sep 12, 2017 18:07
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Rageaholic Monkey posted:Tim is nowhere near as engaging at these conferences as Steve was Seriously. It's a hard bar to reach, but ffs. A big part of it is the topic. Going to the Apple Store is a loving chore, they're not going to fix that.
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Sep 12, 2017 18:11
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TOWN SQUARES!!! Go gently caress yourrrseeeeelllffffffff.
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Sep 12, 2017 18:12
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This hippie bullshit is really tiresome. STEVE WOULD NOT HAVE DONE THIS.
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Sep 12, 2017 18:13
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Pivo posted:you realize steve was the biggest hippie right That was actual stinky hippie bullshit. Not this bougie TOWN SQUARE pseudo-hippie bullshit.
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Sep 12, 2017 18:14
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This all looks like the weird, homogenized dystopian hell from some scifi movie.
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Sep 12, 2017 18:14
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Vegetable posted:Apple's slideshows for these things are surprisingly simple Seriously. Apple always gives a loving clinic on how to build a proper presentation. NOTE THE LACK OF BULLET POINTS. Don't make slides full of words and read them, ffs. It's maybe the thing I've learned most for Apple. gently caress PowerPoint templates.
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Sep 12, 2017 18:15
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IT ALL FEELS SO loving FAKE.
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Sep 12, 2017 18:16
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TyrantWD posted:It's the first thing you learn that at every business school. Apparently none of the executives I work with/for attended or paid attention at business school.
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Sep 12, 2017 18:17
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This bit is making me angry with its aggressive badness and this weird idea that you can astroturf culture and not have it feel like a fake, weird nightmare.
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Sep 12, 2017 18:18
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I remember the olden days when I would have paid a finger to just follow Steve, Steve W, or Jony around for a month and just silently observe and absorb and learn. Everyone that's going to be on this stage is the sort of person I would actively avoid in a work environment.
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Sep 12, 2017 18:19
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Binary Badger posted:IT'S THE BAND, 'TRAIN' EVERYBODY HELP ME I AM IN HELL.
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Sep 12, 2017 18:20
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Vegetable posted:I've always hated the new Apple branding thing where they put the logo beside words in all caps (MUSIC or WATCH or whatever). All caps just doesn't look right to me. And I miss the old typeface. So much :[
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Sep 12, 2017 18:20
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fordan posted:I was hoping for some stats on sales and stuff. But no, right into product updates. It's gauche to talk about $$$ when you're the biggest company in the world.
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Sep 12, 2017 18:21
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THIS IS SO loving MASTURBATORY. omfg we're changing lives.
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Sep 12, 2017 18:21
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Dear Tim Cook, doubling it over and strapping it tight around the base has given me the firmest erections I've had in decades, and the stroke counter helps me calculate calorie counts!
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Sep 12, 2017 18:22
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Every single keynote makes me like Apple less, and the trend is continuing unabated.Shadowhand00 posted:That dude was in his wrecked car reading his note about his car accident. hosed up if true.
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Sep 12, 2017 18:23
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IncendiaC posted:tim ENOUGH FOREPLAY
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Sep 12, 2017 18:25
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AlternateAccount posted:ENOUGH FOREPLAY Steve really knew how to cup the balls.
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Sep 12, 2017 18:25
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Rick posted:Sorry Apple, I'm extremely committed to being lazy as hell. Is there an app for that? WHOA WHOA. SIT DOWN BUDDY.
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Sep 12, 2017 18:25
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Cultural Marxist posted:Apple Watch knows when you're having a Ted Cruz moment. BRB, downloading Cory Chase app.
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Sep 12, 2017 18:26
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Oh good, going hard after that hypochondriac market.
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Sep 12, 2017 18:26
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B-B-B-BUT DOCTOR, MY APPLE WATCH SAYS...
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Sep 12, 2017 18:27
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HERE IT IS, IM SO CLOSE!!!
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Sep 12, 2017 18:28
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gently caress YOUR DATA PLAN, BTW
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Sep 12, 2017 18:30
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AlternateAccount posted:gently caress YOUR DATA PLAN, BTW I wonder if you can only stream from Apple Music or what.
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Sep 12, 2017 18:30
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I imagine this guy's stuttery-weird delivery is an analogue for performance of this overtaxed Watch hardware.
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Sep 12, 2017 18:31
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PRICE INCREASE?! Guessing at least +$150
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Sep 12, 2017 18:33
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Vegetable posted:I'm not clapping at "watch remains the same size," it's too big you fuckers Agreed, it's still chunky and awkward. Needs to be at least half the thickness.
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Sep 12, 2017 18:34
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THIS IS SO AWKWARD
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Sep 12, 2017 18:34
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PLEASE CLAP
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Sep 12, 2017 18:36
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Pivo posted:who would have thought!? microphones and radios work pretty well! WHERES A GIANT SHEPHERDS CROOK FROM OFFSTAGE WHEN YOU NEED IT?
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Sep 12, 2017 18:36
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Vegetable posted:have you seen some of those android watches, they actually look good LOL this guy
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Sep 12, 2017 18:37
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ALL MATERIALS CAN BE HARMFUL IN THE WRONG HANDS!!!!!
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Sep 12, 2017 18:37
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Vegetable posted:"Series" is a shite name Their naming in general has been garbage for years. Like no name they didn't inherit from the Steve-era is worthwhile.
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Sep 12, 2017 18:38
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I am Tim's Giant Mesmermizing Adam's Apple.
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Sep 12, 2017 18:39
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BAD MUSIC INCOMING.
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Sep 12, 2017 18:39
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QUIT FLIPPING THAT THING AROUND MORON, YOU'RE GONNA PUT AN EYE OUT, WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!?
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Sep 12, 2017 18:40
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APPLE TV? Somehow this just got more loving boring.
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Sep 12, 2017 18:41
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