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THE MACHO MAN
Nov 15, 2007

...Carey...

draw me like one of your French Canadian girls
I can cook lots of different dishes no problem, but gently caress me if I don;'t ruin rice every time I make it. I used to use instant rice more than I care to admit.

Thankfully, I have a rice cooker now.

I'm also guilty of using pre-minced garlic more than I care to say.

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BrianBoitano
Nov 15, 2006

this is fine



Sara Moulton, who had several cooking shows and who was a chef at Gourmet for 20 years, recently admitted she can't cook rice and uses a rice cooker. You're in good company.

Though everyone still silently judges the two of you.

Tiggum
Oct 24, 2007

Your life and your quest end here.


I really don't know how it's even possible to be bad at cooking rice. Put rice and water in a saucepan on the stove and leave it there till it's done. It's that simple. If measuring out the amounts written on the pack is too much hassle, just put in way too much water and strain it off at the end. It's basically the same as pasta, which no one ever seems to have a problem with.

His Divine Shadow
Aug 7, 2000

I'm not a fascist. I'm a priest. Fascists dress up in black and tell people what to do.
I find if I do that, it sticks, once it starts to boil, I stir it a couple of times, that does the trick.

Crazycryodude
Aug 15, 2015

Lets get our X tons of Duranium back!

....Is that still a valid thing to jingoistically blow out of proportion?


For some reason I always get better results with the proper brand name Uncle Ben's instead of the local generic or other brands. Haven't the slightest idea why, rice is rice, but the empirical evidence is that I'm magically better at cooking Uncle Ben's :shrug:

anakha
Sep 16, 2009


Despite doing meal prep, I consciously set aside one day of the week where I have instant ramen for dinner. And I look forward to Ramen night.

Samyang Buldak fire noodles are the poo poo, by the way.

Drink and Fight
Feb 2, 2003

I microwave raw broccoli.

therattle
Jul 24, 2007
Soiled Meat

THE MACHO MAN posted:

I can cook lots of different dishes no problem, but gently caress me if I don;'t ruin rice every time I make it.

Thankfully, I have a rice cooker now.


Same here. I wouldn't say I ruin it but it is often just not quite right. And draining it when there is too much water leaves it soggy. I love my rice cooker.


Drink and Fight posted:

I microwave raw broccoli.

Me too, sometimes. Mostly for my son if I need to make him quick dinner. But my preferred mode of cooking is to roast it.

C-Euro
Mar 20, 2010

:science:
Soiled Meat
90% of any cutting or chopping when I cook is done with a Santoku that my wife got at the dollar store six or seven years ago. This is despite the nice knife block my brother got us as a wedding present, those knives are pretty much only used when the Santoku is in use elsewhere or dirty. Also I use it to crush garlic all the time.

physeter
Jan 24, 2006

high five, more dead than alive
Handcraft an entire soup, then buy a half chicken from Pollo Tropical. Chop and toss it in there.

Cloudy is flavor, skimming stocks is for people with too much free time.

I'll risk a $100 knife and cut direct on a marble countertop rather than find a cutting board, because I'm a lazy rear end in a top hat and it's just that one thing.

I make my cassoulet in a crockpot which was once used as a hot stone warmer at a local massage parlor.

Secret favorite meal is roasted green beans and garlic cloves over plain white rice with coarse sea salt.

Elizabethan Error
May 18, 2006

physeter posted:

I'll risk a $100 knife and cut direct on a marble countertop rather than find a cutting board, because I'm a lazy rear end in a top hat and it's just that one thing.
cutting on a slick surface is a good way to cut yourself

Democratic Pirate
Feb 17, 2010

I’ve made salsa chicken with chicken breasts and canned salsa. I’ll make it in the future as well.

BrianBoitano
Nov 15, 2006

this is fine



physeter posted:

I'll risk a $100 knife and cut direct on a marble countertop rather than find a cutting board, because I'm a lazy rear end in a top hat and it's just that one thing.

https://www.tenor.co/OGn7.gif

(won't embed, sorry)

BrianBoitano fucked around with this message at 02:16 on Sep 30, 2017

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer
i liked tinned ravioli on toast once or twice a year with lots of hot sauce as hangover food

Discendo Vox
Mar 21, 2013

We don't need to have that dialogue because it's obvious, trivial, and has already been had a thousand times.
I sometimes get steaks less than medium well.

Mr. Wiggles
Dec 1, 2003

We are all drinking from the highball glass of ideology.
When I'm lazy, I just make nachos in the microwave, topped with spicy Szechuan pickled mustard and angry lady.

Sometimes I boil up premade pelmini and dump half a container of crema over them.

I eat bacos straight from the jar.

Big Bad Voodoo Lou
Jan 1, 2006
I've eaten French-fried onions out of the container before. You know, the ones people pour over Thanksgiving green bean casserole. Whole containers full. The same company now makes crispy fried jalapenos too, and yup -- right out of the container.

I bought a rice cooker because my rice never came out well either.

Sometimes I'll slice up strawberries, pour balsamic vinegar over them, and let them sit in the fridge for a few hours, then eat everything with a fork. They were great poured over vanilla ice cream too, but I haven't done that in years.

I obsess over certain condiments: spicy mayo, creamy horseradish sauce, datil pepper hot sauce with a slight sweetness, the picante salsa at Rubio's, and the "WH" sauce at Waffle House, which is kind of like chipotle mayo in mysterious little black packets. I start brainstorming over which foods will be the ideal delivery devices for my favorite sauces and condiments, and how to reverse-engineer them at home.

Scientastic
Mar 1, 2010

TRULY scientastic.
🔬🍒


Big Bad Voodoo Lou posted:

Sometimes I'll slice up strawberries, pour balsamic vinegar over them, and let them sit in the fridge for a few hours, then eat everything with a fork. They were great poured over vanilla ice cream too, but I haven't done that in years.

THE HORROR

exquisite tea
Apr 21, 2007

Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."


Jose posted:

i liked tinned ravioli on toast once or twice a year with lots of hot sauce as hangover food

Not gonna lie, Chef Boyardee beef ravioli just hits the spot sometimes in a way that real ravioli could never duplicate.

franco
Jan 3, 2003

Jose posted:

i liked tinned ravioli on toast once or twice a year with lots of hot sauce as hangover food

Guilty as charged (without the hot sauce OR the hangover AND probably a bit more often). Also tinned macaroni cheese. Also tinned spaghetti bolognese. Not going to pretend that any of them are like the real thing, but they are sometimes what I crave in their own way. I think it's part having had them in childhood a lot and part being able to go all survivalist and have them on hand for true "I just finished 6 12-hour shifts on the bounce and I cannot be hosed to cook" moments.

exquisite tea posted:

Not gonna lie, Chef Boyardee beef ravioli just hits the spot sometimes in a way that real ravioli could never duplicate.

And basically this too.

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer
this speaks to me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3SU6sd9Uqk

RaspberrySea
Nov 29, 2004




Chopped garlic up once, never again. I can't tell the difference between these and fresh anyway.

I also make my pot roast in a crock pot, so don't listen to me.

Doh004
Apr 22, 2007

Mmmmm Donuts...

MorgaineDax posted:





Chopped garlic up once, never again. I can't tell the difference between these and fresh anyway.

YOU HEATHEN

Nah, just kidding. I don't get the pre-minced, but I do get the pre-peeled garlic. My local veggie market sells containers of peeled garlic for cheaper than the individual bulbs :iiam:

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer
i don't think i've ever seen those herb pastes here and i'd love a basil one becuase all the shops round me don't seem to sell it bunched up they either outright don't sell it or only potted ones :wtc:

Scientastic
Mar 1, 2010

TRULY scientastic.
🔬🍒


Make your own and freeze it

Shooting Blanks
Jun 6, 2007

Real bullets mess up how cool this thing looks.

-Blade



Doh004 posted:

YOU HEATHEN

Nah, just kidding. I don't get the pre-minced, but I do get the pre-peeled garlic. My local veggie market sells containers of peeled garlic for cheaper than the individual bulbs :iiam:

If it's cheaper, alright. I've never even looked to see if it's for sale - peeling garlic, especially large quantities of it is so easy I've never seen the point.

C-Euro
Mar 20, 2010

:science:
Soiled Meat

Democratic Pirate posted:

I’ve made salsa chicken with chicken breasts and canned salsa. I’ll make it in the future as well.

Hell :same:, but I haven't made it in a good while.

Willie Tomg
Feb 2, 2006
As long as you carmalize on high heat really quickly after the fact--like you would for a sous vide protein--microwaves are the best way to almost instantly cook chicken and shortribs perfectly every time.

Steve Yun
Aug 7, 2003
I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.
Soiled Meat

Scientastic posted:

Make your own and freeze it

And the quality's there after being frozen? Hmm I never tried freezing herbs because I had a hard time believing it would still taste good

Loutre
Jan 14, 2004

✓COMFY
✓CLASSY
✓HORNY
✓PEPSI

Willie Tomg posted:

As long as you carmalize on high heat really quickly after the fact--like you would for a sous vide protein--microwaves are the best way to almost instantly cook chicken and shortribs perfectly every time.

how far are you microwaving the chicken before the sear? I want to try this solely out of curiosity.

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


I love egg nog and I love booze. I find the two of them mixed to be repulsive.

There's always a box of mac and cheese lurking in my pantry somewhere, though I've switched to the three cheese shells as far superior to the classic.

And :same: on the hard scrambled eggs.

Magic Hate Ball
May 6, 2007

ha ha ha!
you've already paid for this
salsa chicken!!

Tiggum posted:

I really don't know how it's even possible to be bad at cooking rice.

I legit don't understand this. Half as much rice as water, bring to boil, cover on low for 15 minutes, perfect. I have literally never, ever had this fail on me.

Scientastic
Mar 1, 2010

TRULY scientastic.
🔬🍒


Steve Yun posted:

And the quality's there after being frozen? Hmm I never tried freezing herbs because I had a hard time believing it would still taste good

I freeze herbs all the time: you absolutely (and completely expectedly) lose anything approaching texture, but the flavour has always been exactly the same.

Liquid Communism
Mar 9, 2004


Out here, everything hurts.




Grand Fromage posted:

I love egg nog and I love booze. I find the two of them mixed to be repulsive.

Same. I usually opt to drink hot toddies or mulled mead in the winter when people are boozing on eggnog.

Then I make french toast with the leftover eggnog in the morning. :getin:

Willie Tomg
Feb 2, 2006

Loutre posted:

how far are you microwaving the chicken before the sear? I want to try this solely out of curiosity.

Mid to mid-well-ish with a rest after sear. And if you don't give a gently caress about sear because you just want a butterfly breast in a salad or something then take it all the way to well.

Factory chickens have so much water in them that you're literally just poaching the meat with radiation.

C-Euro
Mar 20, 2010

:science:
Soiled Meat
I get way too many new recipes from those quick recipe videos on Facebook (like Tasty). In fact more generally I have a hard time cooking anything good without a recipe open right in front of me or stone-cold memorized.

exquisite tea
Apr 21, 2007

Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."


As far as I can tell all those recipes on Tasty are just normal dinners anybody would already know how to make except you add a whole block of cream cheese and pillsbury rolls to everything.

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.
Also cream of mushroom soup

Fo3
Feb 14, 2004

RAAAAARGH!!!! GIFT CARDS ARE FUCKING RETARDED!!!!

(I need a hug)

Tiggum posted:

I really don't know how it's even possible to be bad at cooking rice. Put rice and water in a saucepan on the stove and leave it there till it's done. It's that simple. If measuring out the amounts written on the pack is too much hassle, just put in way too much water and strain it off at the end. It's basically the same as pasta, which no one ever seems to have a problem with.

Yeah, if you want to boil rice (and then drain) it's easy. If you want to cook rice in flavour (stock, sauce, meat whatever), ie absorption method, where rice is rinsed before, and the liquid is pre-measured, then cooking in stainless steel on an ancient wonky electric coil stovetop loving sucks. Takes so long to heat up with random hot spots sticking, and then you have to adjust the temp 5 min before you need to adjust it somehow.

It's not that I can't do it as I do it for sushi and paella or jambalaya all the time, but it's annoying. If I just want plain rice cooked in stock I use my pressure cooker because there's no point going to the stove top absorption method hassle just for that.

Fo3 fucked around with this message at 15:25 on Oct 3, 2017

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exquisite tea
Apr 21, 2007

Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."


I make all my rice on the stovetop like risotto and stir it around adding liquid until it absorbs because I can't just leave food alone for that long.

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