Restaurant I'm at ran out of dishes

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Olive!: It's not a ghost, but probably a 'living corpse'. The 'living dead' with a hell of a lot of bloodlust...

My biscuits and gravy arrived on what appears to be a toilet tank lid. all the servers seem a little worried, the head chef sounds angry. I don't want to bug them but I'm not sure how I'm supposed to eat my meal with two lincoln logs instead of a fork and knife.

_{Thanks to HotSoapyBeard for the sig image!}

# ? Oct 11, 2017 01:46

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 10:46

Olive!: It's not a ghost, but probably a 'living corpse'. The 'living dead' with a hell of a lot of bloodlust...

just saw a server wheeling out two file cabinets full of soup. the other customers are getting restless

# ? Oct 11, 2017 01:47

Olive!: It's not a ghost, but probably a 'living corpse'. The 'living dead' with a hell of a lot of bloodlust...

Look, there's 'recycling', and there's 'serving my table a pitcher of beer in a repurposed fryer oil jug'.

# ? Oct 11, 2017 01:49

Sprue: please send nudes

i was going to say something about it but i think all the waiters must be on break. they just have some 8 year old kid (probably bring yr kid to work day or something) taking orders. i mean, he's writing down all the orders but i saw his notebook and it's just crayon doodles of winged kittens. i order a refill on coffee but he said he was too young to serve that and i'd have to wait for his mommy to get off the toilet.

# ? Oct 11, 2017 01:49

Starman Super DX: This title text is surprisingly sturdy.

I grew suspicious that they had run out of soup bowls when the waiter came over with the pot of bouillabaisse, dumped it in my lap, and then claimed that it was "deconstructed".

Starman Super DX fucked around with this message at 03:49 on Oct 11, 2017

Tell me more!
btw ty Birdcon for the sweet spring sig

# ? Oct 11, 2017 01:51

Sprue: please send nudes

i know it's supposed to be atmospheric when a bar diner has peanut shells on the floor, but this is going too far. there's a loving lobster shell on the floor and it's starting to smell.

# ? Oct 11, 2017 01:52

Olive!: It's not a ghost, but probably a 'living corpse'. The 'living dead' with a hell of a lot of bloodlust...

I managed to peek into the kitchen and everyone there is just sitting on the ground, trying to chop vegetables with their bare hands(?) right there against the floor!

# ? Oct 11, 2017 01:54

Sprue: please send nudes

oh poo poo i just realized this was an ethiopian restaurant and there wasn't supposed to be any utensils. gawd, i feel really uncomfortable now about confronting the waiter about it. i just didn't realize scrambled eggs and pancakes was an ethiopian thing....

# ? Oct 11, 2017 01:54

Manifisto

i know what you mean op, i was in some restaurant and ordered the "escargot" and they brought it to me in a loving snail shell

it's like, if you don't have dishes to serve the thing on, don't put it on the drat menu

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Oct 11, 2017 01:56

Olive!: It's not a ghost, but probably a 'living corpse'. The 'living dead' with a hell of a lot of bloodlust...

they served me this whole fish still dangling on the hook, because they didn't even have a gosh dang plate to put it on! they didn't even have any kind of drip tray to keep the fish from dripping on the floor!

# ? Oct 11, 2017 02:00

Sprue: please send nudes

i ordered a soft boiled egg and they didn't even have an egg shell for the egg. every time the waitress comes by she asks if i want a refill on coffee, i just lean my head back and she pours my mouth full. i think i need to go to the hospital, the burns are starting to blister

# ? Oct 11, 2017 02:06

cda: by Hand Knit

Here I am, sitting in the void like an idiot, staring into the abyss with a vacant square on my lap, all because the restaurant ran out of everything.

# ? Oct 11, 2017 02:15

Olive!: It's not a ghost, but probably a 'living corpse'. The 'living dead' with a hell of a lot of bloodlust...

just because you served my salmon to me in a ziploc bag doesn't make it 'sous-vide'

# ? Oct 11, 2017 02:15

Ride The Gravitron: by FactsAreUseless

Some people would be offended at their waiter regurgitating their meal into their mouth like a baby bird but I personally enjoy the one on one service i'm getting here.

Ride The Gravitron fucked around with this message at 02:49 on Oct 11, 2017

# ? Oct 11, 2017 02:36

joke_explainer

cda posted:

Here I am, sitting in the void like an idiot, staring into the abyss with a vacant square on my lap, all because the restaurant ran out of everything.

# ? Oct 11, 2017 02:48

Robot Made of Meat

The lack of dishes isn't that huge a problem. I mean they DID clean the tablecloth well before dumping my spaghetti all over it. A table would be nice, though.

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

# ? Oct 11, 2017 03:43

PHIZ KALIFA: #mood

i can't imagine what they're paying the janitors at Six Foot Long Soup Spoon Using Academy but it can't be enough.

crimes

# ? Oct 11, 2017 03:50

PHIZ KALIFA: #mood

my grandmother served me a hamburger on toast once and when I suggested she was out of buns she cut me with a steak knife and called me a "traitorous servant of that damned kaiser."

crimes

# ? Oct 11, 2017 03:51

Starman Super DX: This title text is surprisingly sturdy.

Starman Super DX posted:

I grew suspicious that they had run out of soup bowls when the waiter came over with the pot of bouillabaisse, dumped it in my lap, and then claimed that it was "deconstructed".

It wasn't bad, but I'm no longer getting erections.

3/5 Stars.

Tell me more!
btw ty Birdcon for the sweet spring sig

# ? Oct 11, 2017 03:51

Olive!: It's not a ghost, but probably a 'living corpse'. The 'living dead' with a hell of a lot of bloodlust...

all the cooks here have third degree burns from fishing pasta out of boiling water with their bare hands.

# ? Oct 11, 2017 03:53

vanisher

_{Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext}

# ? Oct 11, 2017 04:17

Kthulhu5000: by R. Guyovich

Starman Super DX posted:

I grew suspicious that they had run out of soup bowls when the waiter came over with the pot of bouillabaisse, dumped it in my lap, and then claimed that it was "deconstructed".

At least you can suck it out of your clothes and get that small bit of enjoyment from it. My waiter was serving minestrone to me by the teaspoonful out of the kitchen sink.

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# ? Oct 11, 2017 05:09

Olive!: It's not a ghost, but probably a 'living corpse'. The 'living dead' with a hell of a lot of bloodlust...

vanisher posted:

# ? Oct 11, 2017 05:21

AverySpecialfriend: by Hand Knit

I hate this upscale hipster gentrification cafe BULLSHIT like why am I paying $17.50 to eat a single crouton off the floor when I can go around the corner to my favorite hole in the wall and eat a burrito as big as my head off the floor for $4? I'm so sick of it, and not just because I mysteriously contracted listeria.

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# ? Oct 11, 2017 05:44

PHIZ KALIFA: #mood

"What even is a salad, anyway?" Gordon Ramsay weeps, nibbling freshly sprouted clover greens directly from a rolling meadow.

crimes

# ? Oct 11, 2017 06:32

Kthulhu5000: by R. Guyovich

"No worries!", says Edgar Wallace on the opening night of his Wallace's Family Fish Chippy restaurant, "We'll just use newspaper like they did in the old days back in merry olde England!". Except, to his dismay, it is 2017 and the only viable quantities of newsprint he can find are the back pages of weekly newspapers, with the ads for escorts and strip clubs.

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# ? Oct 11, 2017 07:25

Twenty Four

That annoying germaphobe who always brings their own utensils, sitting there smiling like a smug prick.

# ? Oct 11, 2017 07:48

Kthulhu5000: by R. Guyovich

Betcha didn't know:

While we're all cringing at the thought of a restaurant running out of dishes, there are plenty of really successful people who relish the opportunity that they perceive such a situation to represent. Indeed, it's not unusual for high-powered and turbocharged stockbrokers and financiers to request a meal at various Wall Street eateries "off the plate" and in their briefcases. It's apparently quite the power move to be making major trades and negotiating deals in meetings as you're chomping down on a steak or pasta dish, right from out of your own briefcase.

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# ? Oct 11, 2017 08:04

Olive!: It's not a ghost, but probably a 'living corpse'. The 'living dead' with a hell of a lot of bloodlust...

List of foods it's okay to serve in a paper cone:
� snowcones

List of foods I was served in a paper cone:
� steak tartare

_{Thanks to HotSoapyBeard for the sig image!}

# ? Oct 11, 2017 08:16

Macnult

Olive! posted:

just saw a server wheeling out two file cabinets full of soup. the other customers are getting restless

# ? Oct 11, 2017 08:42

Kthulhu5000: by R. Guyovich

My eggs, browns, and bacon breakfast (and those of other patrons) were served straight off the backs of some middle-aged men in office attire, going around the restaurant on their hands and knees like dogs. Each of these men seemed to relish the experience, rather than seeming embarrassed or traumatized by it, and I couldn't help but wonder who was paying who and for what here.

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# ? Oct 11, 2017 09:10

PHIZ KALIFA: #mood

how many years of Ninja Experience do you need to develop the ability to hurl tiny microwavable pizzas like shuriken? asking for a friend

crimes

# ? Oct 11, 2017 10:04

PHIZ KALIFA: #mood

as a younger lad i was outraged at gravy, angry that it would go so cold so fast, angry that transporting it from room to room left such opportunity for messes. instead i devised a "boatless gravy tubing system" which was operated by way of a large pressurized attic based gravy storage capsule, with tubes snaking throughout the house, delivering fresh, hot, pure gravy directly to your nozzle of choice.
sanitation was provided for by having the system disgorge superheated orbs of old gravy, hot enough to sterilize the hoses, not intended for human consumption.

then i realized i was an utter fool, and it would be much simpler to pipe something like yogurt through the house instead.

crimes

# ? Oct 11, 2017 10:08

Laurenz: They call him little janny hotpockets. He was terrific, he was the best, and he did it for free too.

they need to fire the dishwasher

# ? Oct 11, 2017 12:15

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

The soup of the day was great, I just felt bad having to eat it out of the cupped hands of my server so I didn't enjoy it, I was far more concerned with letting her get on to the next patron. The italian wedding soup had real meatballs the size of your fist, though I dunno how my server did it. Also- I mean, I'm cool with the napkin serving as my tablecloth AND my table, but telling me my napkin was also my chair was a stretch.

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
_{_{Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps}}
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Oct 11, 2017 12:33

FactsAreUseless

This is the last time I eat at Lord of the Fries.

# ? Oct 11, 2017 14:40

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

This was a bad time to try hot pot.

# ? Oct 11, 2017 14:53

Robot Made of Meat

They just handed me the plum, and dumped perfume all over it.

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

# ? Oct 11, 2017 15:30

Manifisto

server: chef, we have no plates for the fried chicken, and we can't carry it in our hands, it's too hot!

chef: fine, put it on a pizza.

server: and what do we put the pizza on?

chef: what are you, some kind of loving comedian? it's pizzas all the way down

# ? Oct 11, 2017 16:26

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 10:46

vanisher

Manifisto posted:

server: chef, we have no plates for the fried chicken, and we can't carry it in our hands, it's too hot!

chef: fine, put it on a pizza.

server: and what do we put the pizza on?

chef: what are you, some kind of loving comedian? it's pizzas all the way down

# ? Oct 11, 2017 16:37

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Restaurant I'm at ran out of dishes

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