|
I grew up in farming country, so if someone knocked on your door at 6 am they would probably call you a lazy gently caress for not being outside doing work for the past 2 hours.
|
#
?
Oct 31, 2017 17:20
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 16, 2024 04:33 |
|
|
"Your doorbell is broken."
|
|
#
?
Oct 31, 2017 17:36
|
|
|
poverty goat posted:Want to get rid of that obnoxious ringing and go back to bed? I've got just the product for you! Now this is a man I can grift with! Friend have you ever seen Paper Moon? This dude gets jokes; look at him go!
|
|
#
?
Oct 31, 2017 17:58
|
|
|
Hi and welcome to the neighborhood. I noticed your wlan is password protected. Could you not do that, we encourage a culture of openness. The previous occupant didn't bother with passwords and he was a celebrated member of our community until the police took him away.
|
|
#
?
Oct 31, 2017 18:00
|
|
|
Car broke down and you want to become a human centipede
|
|
#
?
Oct 31, 2017 18:31
|
|
|
Please be at my front door at 6am SHARP. The doorbell isn't working and the door will be locked, so please try to find a way to get my attention that does not involve breaking anything, using a horn or any form of weaponry... besides your FISTS. See you in the morning, warrior.
|
|
#
?
Oct 31, 2017 19:42
|
|
|
...and the pitch! posted:It was. What the gently caress did you do? Then you better go catch it! Woo thats a real knee slapper.
|
|
#
?
Oct 31, 2017 20:23
|
|
|
Come to the door at 6 am if you want an rear end kicking.
3D Megadoodoo fucked around with this message at 20:43 on Oct 31, 2017 |
|
#
?
Oct 31, 2017 20:39
|
|
|
Vakal posted:I grew up in farming country, so if someone knocked on your door at 6 am they would probably call you a lazy gently caress for not being outside doing work for the past 2 hours. bullshit the plants grow themselves man!
|
|
#
?
Oct 31, 2017 20:40
|
|
|
Hippity Hoppity posted:Then you better go catch it! Woo thats a real knee slapper.  got em!Jerry Cotton posted:Come to the door at 6 am if you want an rear end kicking. Did you say rear end kissing because I might be down for that. I'll take either/or patronizing or literal lips to buttocks. I'll give or receive, not picky.
|
|
#
?
Oct 31, 2017 20:46
|
|
|
"I just ran over your mailbox and as my front license plate is somewhere in your snow covered lawn, I thought I would be honest and offer to replace it".
|
|
#
?
Oct 31, 2017 20:52
|
|
|
FOR SALE: baby shoes *knocks furiously*
|
|
#
?
Oct 31, 2017 21:09
|
|
|
One of the locals who moved in recently did us all a favor and scared the Jehovahs Witnesses away. He's a big guy, 6'6, hairy and built to match. The witnesses were out doing their thing early one bank holiday and they came to his door. He answered, hungover and bleary eyed, naked from the waist up and wearing no slippers. He looked straight ahead through them, stuck out his big meaty paw and boomed "GIVE ME YOUR DOCUMENTS AND I SHALL GIVE THEM TO MY MASTER." The JW's don't come round here much anymore.
|
|
#
?
Oct 31, 2017 21:15
|
|
|
Valko posted:One of the locals who moved in recently did us all a favor and scared the Jehovahs Witnesses away. He's a big guy, 6'6, hairy and built to match. The witnesses were out doing their thing early one bank holiday and they came to his door. He answered, hungover and bleary eyed, naked from the waist up and wearing no slippers. He looked straight ahead through them, stuck out his big meaty paw and boomed "GIVE ME YOUR DOCUMENTS AND I SHALL GIVE THEM TO MY MASTER." The whole neighbourhood stood up and clapped. That man was Big Albert Einstein.
|
|
#
?
Oct 31, 2017 21:16
|
|
|
bongwizzard posted:"I just ran over your mailbox and as my front license plate is somewhere in your snow covered lawn, I thought I would be honest and offer to replace it". Global warning is a thing. Do you live in northern Norway?
|
|
#
?
Oct 31, 2017 21:26
|
|
|
The only reason I can think of is I want to shoot whoever opens the door with a shotgun.
|
|
#
?
Oct 31, 2017 21:29
|
|
|
im gay
|
|
#
?
Oct 31, 2017 21:37
|
|
|
Funniest thing: my phallus seems to have wedged itself in your letterbox and i can't get it out. You wouldn't happen to have some lube?
|
|
#
?
Nov 1, 2017 04:48
|
|
|
Hi! I'm really drunk!
|
|
#
?
Nov 1, 2017 08:57
|
|
|
Their house is gonna explode at 6:01
|
|
#
?
Nov 1, 2017 08:58
|
|
|
to spread the good word of mormon
|
|
#
?
Nov 1, 2017 08:59
|
|
|
i just really need to poop
|
|
#
?
Nov 1, 2017 09:04
|
|
|
Hi, I live directly beneath you and our ceiling is raining, has your hot water tank exploded? (Actually happened)
|
|
#
?
Nov 1, 2017 12:47
|
|
|
Shitters full!
|
|
#
?
Nov 1, 2017 12:56
|
|
|
The Jehovah's Witnesses, in the story, were especially frightened by the man who wore no slippers. It is important to mention that he had no slippers. This is key to the tale.
|
|
#
?
Nov 1, 2017 13:34
|
|
|
Sellin crack to get out of the magazine racket
|
|
#
?
Nov 1, 2017 13:38
|
|
|
Sellin crack, weed AND magazines, gotta diversify.
|
|
#
?
Nov 1, 2017 13:49
|
|
|
...and the pitch! posted:Global warning is a thing. I mean I though it was a general question, not specific to yesterday.
|
|
#
?
Nov 1, 2017 13:55
|
|
|
I don't even get out of bed until 11 AM most days so anyone knocking on my door before then is going to be ignored or yelled at to gently caress off depending on how persistent they are
|
|
#
?
Nov 1, 2017 14:08
|
|
|
Trick or treating, like you've been out begging for candy for 12 strait hours.
|
|
#
?
Nov 1, 2017 14:17
|
|
|
I know you people are dying for an update. One of those weirdos spit on my door and looks they might have dental health issues.
|
|
#
?
Nov 1, 2017 22:06
|
|
|
lisa needs braces
|
|
#
?
Nov 1, 2017 22:51
|
|
|
"It's daylight out, you see that? This isn't unreasonable? Oh, it's acceptable for me to knock on your door at 8PM in the Summer because the sun's out but if I do it at 5PM in the winter I'm 'scary' because it's dark?! We can't as a culture accept the opposite to be true?!"
|
|
#
?
Nov 2, 2017 03:56
|
|
|
I really enjoy turning away peddlers whether they be selling religion or anything else. I wanted to help but I didn't want these kids to come in. Now I have to wipe a loogie.
|
|
#
?
Nov 2, 2017 04:20
|
|
|
Shut up, neighbor. I'm going to gently caress your spouse now.
|
|
#
?
Nov 2, 2017 04:23
|
|
|
Hi there neighbor. I've come to return your dog. I found it in my yard barebacking mine when I went to the gym this morning. I hope you have room for some puppies.
|
|
#
?
Nov 2, 2017 04:27
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 16, 2024 04:33 |
|
|
Hi I live downstairs. Did you know that i can hear you every time you make love? Oh i don't mind at all. To be honest i have taken to rubbing one out to the sounds. So anyway, i have some friends coming over tonight, will you perhaps be doing the nasty this evening? Because that would be great!
|
|
#
?
Nov 2, 2017 05:07
|
|