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"Wow, Jillian," John Smith said, "get a load of that bluebird! What a lovely shade of blue! ... Jillian?"
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Nov 20, 2017 16:27
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| # ¿ May 22, 2024 10:52 |
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Mr Jones and Mr Ivanov live side by side. Each has amassed a sizeable amount of of garden gnomes, yet neither of them actually puts them in their yard for fear of retaliation - they just keep them in their shed. Of course, at the HOA meetings they complain about the amount of garden gnomes the other has ("What if he puts them out?" "If he puts out his gnomes I'm going to put out mine"). Meanwhile, Mr. Castro down the street signs off on yet another massive shipment of gnomes, grinning at the two houses as he does so.
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Nov 20, 2017 22:10
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Cartons of milk at the local convenience store bear a label that reads "Have you seen this boy?" with fine print underneath that reads "Please request archive access from a Level 3 HOA Official at your local post office to see this picture".
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Nov 20, 2017 22:57
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You know, it's the darndest thing - Mr. Dillinger pointed out that Ms. Tweedy's lawn was mowed improperly one week, and the next week Ms. Tweedy's lawn was impeccable and Mr. Dillinger had an unfortunate lawnmower accident that caused his lawn to go un-mowed for a month. I asked him about it once, and he got a real strange look on his face, said he "couldn't remember ever pointing that out" and rushed out of the room to return some VHS tapes.
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Nov 20, 2017 23:01
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Bacon Taco posted:I feel like Shady Bridge must be in Shaggy Butte, and the dog classifieds are methods of transmitting coded messages. If you decode the dog classifieds you can find a coded message for the best coupons to use at Ralph's next week before they make the deals public.
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Nov 21, 2017 07:45
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The county executive once proposed some major construction work across the street from Shady Bridge. The next day, the county executive changed her mind, and forbade construction in that area. This in itself was not so strange except that in that on night, the county executive had grown two inches, lost 50 pounds, and was now a woman. When pressed, county officials began sweating profusely and kept saying "How bout that sports?" while spilling coffee from their shaking hands.
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Nov 21, 2017 21:37
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Majuju posted:"Did you hear? They want to take away John Smith's driver's license! All he did was accidentally flip the anti-personnel missile switch on his car instead of dropping an oil slick, and it's not like there was anyone in that John Smith's Legitimate Business when the missile hit it anyhow." Was that the Legitimate Business on 14th street or 19th? I always get those confused - they sell the exact same pieces of old furniture that no one actually buys.
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Nov 21, 2017 21:44
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| # ¿ May 22, 2024 10:52 |
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"Please have your child in the dead-drop by 7 AM or the bus will not stop for them. How many times do we have to tell you this, Ms. Henshaw?"
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Nov 27, 2017 16:25
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