Auspol December - Yes! We! Can! - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > Auspol December - Yes! We! Can!

tithin: Nov 14, 2003; [Grandmaster Tactician]

poo poo wot happened in November

LGBT Marriage

https://twitter.com/tom_cowie/status/930582394523885568

Thanks to a resounding "YES" vote during the non-binding, non mandatory, postal vote plebiscite (being the way that conservatives desperately tried to jerryrig their way out of approving same sex marriage), Same Sex Marriage / Marriage equality is now mandatory.

(It's not quite ready to go yet, the bill is still before Parliament, but is guaranteed to pass - it has the numbers to do so, and has already passed one branch of parliament with little in the way of amendments that give people the right to keep discriminating against LGBT).

https://twitter.com/MrKRudd/status/930578796264214528

Kevin Rudd takes a moment from his concession speech, to congratulate Australia on voting Yes to SSM

This is much to the rage of right wing conservatives on both the labour and LNP, but mainly the LNP, who have desperately tried to amend the bill to reflect that florists and bakers (why is it always florists and bakers??) should have the right to refuse to gay people. Every amendment has been voted down, and the bill is now before the house of reps which for some reason was given an extra weeks break!

https://twitter.com/SydOperaHouse/status/930588602207150080

The Government is hosed, and we're probably going to have another early election in the next 12 months

...which sure as poo poo had nothing to do with a certain high court ruling that happened just prior to the announcement.

So yeah, the high court came back to rule on the never-ending saga that is section 44 of the constitution (that prevents a person from owning allegiance to another nation, and has been catching out shitloads of MPs and making them ineligible to be MPs). The high court ruled that 5 out of the 7 MPs who had been referred to the high court weren't eligible to be elected at the time they stood for parliament due to having dual citizenship by descent.

https://twitter.com/craigjack36/status/934984322888564736

One of those caught out was the former-Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby "allegedly got a staffer pregnant and then took her to get an abortion" Joyce. And then his replacement, Fiona Nash, was also kicked out for the same thing. The irony was that both Barnaby and Fiona were the Leader and Deputy leader of the National party, prompting twitter to erupt into sensible chuckles about "which nation"

https://twitter.com/Bishop64/status/935087656236589056

This triggered by elections in the now vacant seats leaving the government with a paper loving thin majority, leaving them particularly vulnerable to poo poo like..

A Banking Royal Commision

... two of their own MPs, who were so enraged about Same Sex marriage being legalised, going rogue and planning to introduce a Private Members bill to parliament to force a royal commission into Banking and Finance Culture, and how banks loving love to rip off their customers. This was done to embarrass the Government over Same Sex marriage (which the National Party, of the Liberal National Party, loving despises).

After a few days of threats, one of those MPs launching a website, and a deadline being set wherein those MPs would cross the floor, the banks mysteriously dropped a letter publicly calling for a Royal Commission to be lodged and get rid of all of the uncertainty that could potentially financially impact them.

Within 30 minutes of this letter, a royal commission had been called and terms of reference set :thunk:

awfully coincidental timing there. Almost seems like a stitch up to me considering the timing! But then, I just work for one of the big 4, so what do I know :greenangel:

QLD had an election and we don't actually know who won???

QLD went to the polls last week and rather than doing the sensible thing and electing the adults and putting them back in charge, QLD basically said "gently caress the lot of you" and elected the equivalent of a hung parliament. Results are still up in the air at this point, but it looks like no one's got a clear majority. Labour got the most number of seats, the LNP got the next highest amount, and the rest went to independents and single issue parties.

This caused an immediate shitstorm from the media who went hard for the LNP to win, and who are calling on the incumbent Labour government to go into opposition in spite of the fact that, well, the LNP literally do not have enough (even with the help of the independents) to form government.

anyhoo, that's about all I can think of that happened last month, welcome to another riveting episode of loving #auspol

# ? Nov 30, 2017 10:23

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 27, 2024 20:35

birdstrike: Oct 30, 2008; i;m gay

reported op for first dog amount of words

# ? Nov 30, 2017 10:27

tithin: Nov 14, 2003; [Grandmaster Tactician]

Birdstrike posted:

reported op for first dog amount of words

Maybe report him for never finishing his loving lp

# ? Nov 30, 2017 10:31

Starshark: Dec 22, 2005; Doctor Rope

One thing not covered in the previous thread is the suspicious number of people claiming to be SES. I think we have some stolen valour here.

If you claim to be in the SES, name your commanding officers here. The truth will out.

# ? Nov 30, 2017 10:31

kirbysuperstar: Nov 11, 2012; Let the fools who stand before us be destroyed by the power you and I possess.

Birdstrike posted:

reported op for first dog amount of words

Reminds me, my dad got given a 2017 political cartoons book (what a gift) which features First Dog, but the pages are small enough that you can't even read the sheer mass of :words:

# ? Nov 30, 2017 10:33

Bucky Fullminster: Apr 13, 2007

It's still November wtf

# ? Nov 30, 2017 10:34

freebooter: Jul 7, 2009

With an early election - why do the ordinary punters always whinge about elections? I know we're all political junkies who love them, but seriously, I don't notice any difference whatsoever between ordinary times and election season except a handful of ads on TV. So what gives?

# ? Nov 30, 2017 10:36

Starshark: Dec 22, 2005; Doctor Rope

freebooter posted:

With an early election - why do the ordinary punters always whinge about elections? I know we're all political junkies who love them, but seriously, I don't notice any difference whatsoever between ordinary times and election season except a handful of ads on TV. So what gives?

People don't like getting off their arses and going to a polling booth, apparently. I had to vote in Parramatta and there was one guy there who wouldn't stop shouting I'M JUST HERE TO GET MY NAME MARKED OFF like anyone gave a poo poo.

# ? Nov 30, 2017 10:37

DancingShade: Jul 26, 2007; by Fluffdaddy

Hobo Erotica posted:

It's still November wtf

Give it 4 hours or so.

# ? Nov 30, 2017 10:44

WhiskeyWhiskers: Oct 14, 2013

freebooter posted:

With an early election - why do the ordinary punters always whinge about elections? I know we're all political junkies who love them, but seriously, I don't notice any difference whatsoever between ordinary times and election season except a handful of ads on TV. So what gives?

Maybe the parties are so good at electioneering now only the people who aren't engaged are targeted and bombarded with things we never see?

# ? Nov 30, 2017 10:47

CrazyTolradi: Oct 2, 2011; It feels so good to be so bad.....at posting.

tithin posted:

Kevin Rudd takes a moment from his concession speech, to congratulate Australia on voting Yes to SSM

What does the SSM survey result mean for Kevin Rudd's leadership ambitions?

# ? Nov 30, 2017 10:56

Whitlam: Aug 2, 2014; Some goons overreact. Go figure.

Hobo Erotica posted:

It's still November wtf

Early thread for the early election.

# ? Nov 30, 2017 10:57

birdstrike: Oct 30, 2008; i;m gay

CrazyTolradi posted:

What does the SSM survey result mean for Kevin Rudd's leadership ambitions?

Time for sodomy :grin:

# ? Nov 30, 2017 11:02

CrazyTolradi: Oct 2, 2011; It feels so good to be so bad.....at posting.

Hot take from literal fascist Peter "Lucifer" Dutton: https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2017/nov/30/peter-dutton-says-royal-commission-a-chance-to-investigate-union-links-to-super-funds

# ? Nov 30, 2017 11:08

Bucky Fullminster: Apr 13, 2007

Starshark posted:

One thing not covered in the previous thread is the suspicious number of people claiming to be SES. I think we have some stolen valour here.

If you claim to be in the SES, name your commanding officers here. The truth will out.

You're not in the SES are you

# ? Nov 30, 2017 11:13

You Am I: May 20, 2001; Me @ your poasting

You forgot the passing of the assisted dying bill in the best state in the country, Victoria

# ? Nov 30, 2017 11:14

Zenithe: Feb 25, 2013; _{Ask not to whom the Anidavatar belongs; it belongs to thee.}

CrazyTolradi posted:

Hot take from literal fascist Peter "Lucifer" Dutton: https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2017/nov/30/peter-dutton-says-royal-commission-a-chance-to-investigate-union-links-to-super-funds

loving commonwealth bank being poo poo led to funds for ISIS but yeah sure, union funds are the bad guys.

# ? Nov 30, 2017 11:15

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

If you have seen this man, please call the AWU:

quote:

Investigators Unable To Find Michaelia Cash's Ex-Staffer To Serve Him A Federal Court Subpoena

Australian Workers Union (AWU) investigators have been unable to locate David De Garis � the former senior media adviser to Michaelia Cash who tipped off media outlets about police raids on union offices � to serve a Federal Court subpoena.

�We have been successful in serving subpoenas on minister Cash and Mark Lee from the Registered Organisation Commission (ROC)," AWU national secretary Daniel Walton told BuzzFeed News.

"We have, however, been unable to locate David De Garis. Our representatives will continue to make attempts to locate and serve him over the coming days."

The AWU has been searching for De Garis since November 23, and has visited his primary residence in Perth, but has not been able to find him. He has not posted on social media.

The next step for the investigators will be to search overseas for the former staffer.

When asked this week, Cash's office refused to answer BuzzFeed News' questions about De Garis' location, or the last time it had contact with him.

The union's federal court challenge aims to probe the validity of the AFP raids, which were part of an investigation by the Turnbull government-established watchdog the ROC into donations made by the union over a decade ago when it was led by current Labor leader Bill Shorten.

De Garis resigned last month after admitting he tipped off the media about the Australian Federal Police's (AFP) raids on the AWU's Sydney and Melbourne offices in October.

Media arrived at the offices before the raids took place, and BuzzFeed News revealed that media outlets had been tipped off by Cash's office.

After resigning De Garis was allowed to leave Parliament House with his work phone, and without providing Cash's office with a full debrief on the incident.

The following day, Cash told Senate Estimates her office was unable to locate him and he was not returning phone calls. However, he was and still is, making and taking calls on his work phone to journalists in the press gallery.

Walton has accused Cash of "throwing her staffer under the bus", and suggested others in the office were involved in the leaks.

�We do not believe she was not made aware (of the raids) and have made a freedom of information request to get to the bottom of it,� Walton said.

Cash is using the current AFP investigation to block freedom of information requests to release communication that would confirm exactly what she and her staff knew about the raids, when they knew it, and who they told.

The union requested any correspondence between Cash, her office and the ROC, in addition to any correspondence between the minister and relevant staff members. This could include any text messages, emails, phone lists and other correspondence.

A similar request made by BuzzFeed News was also denied.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/aliceworkman/where-in-the-world?utm_term=.cpL2YADQ9#.uhXOp53mX

# ? Nov 30, 2017 11:24

Solemn Sloth: Jul 11, 2015; Baby you can shout at me,
But you can't need my eyes.

Buses replacing trains expecting a 60 minute delay on my line, and that�s not even taking a biblical flood into consideration.

Weird, my throat started feeling sore just now, best not go into work and risk infecting everyone.

# ? Nov 30, 2017 11:26

birdstrike: Oct 30, 2008; i;m gay

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

If you have seen this man, please call the AWU:

https://www.buzzfeed.com/aliceworkman/where-in-the-world?utm_term=.cpL2YADQ9#.uhXOp53mX

why doxx me? :confused:

# ? Nov 30, 2017 11:26

JBP: Feb 16, 2017; You've got to know, to understand,
Baby, take me by my hand,
I'll lead you to the promised land.

Tweets in OP gas.

# ? Nov 30, 2017 11:31

CrazyTolradi: Oct 2, 2011; It feels so good to be so bad.....at posting.

JBP posted:

Tweets in OP gas.

You had your chance and you hosed up.

# ? Nov 30, 2017 11:37

tithin: Nov 14, 2003; [Grandmaster Tactician]

I put up the thread late, people complain, I put it up early, people complain :shrug:

anyhow, hope people got a laugh out of the OP

# ? Nov 30, 2017 11:42

racing identity: Apr 5, 2017; by FactsAreUseless

Pretend I quoted the post about Shorten/Dastyari ALP internal factional politics from the last thread here

ALP internal factional politics is the most pathetic thing in the whole world and everyone who is involved in it is a king-sized loser

# ? Nov 30, 2017 11:47

Zenithe: Feb 25, 2013; _{Ask not to whom the Anidavatar belongs; it belongs to thee.}

JBP posted:

Tweets in OP gas.

Ran his Thread into the ground, now nothing but snipes. We cannot afford to give JBP another chance at the OP

# ? Nov 30, 2017 11:47

CrazyTolradi: Oct 2, 2011; It feels so good to be so bad.....at posting.

# ? Nov 30, 2017 11:59

JBP: Feb 16, 2017; You've got to know, to understand,
Baby, take me by my hand,
I'll lead you to the promised land.

Zenithe posted:

Ran his Thread into the ground, now nothing but snipes. We cannot afford to give JBP another chance at the OP

My thread is still the most successful AusPol thread. Maybe even the most successful thread in general. It was a great thread. More pages and posts than any other I've seen.

# ? Nov 30, 2017 12:01

Fuckface the Hedgehog: Jun 12, 2007

Solemn Sloth posted:

Buses replacing trains expecting a 60 minute delay on my line, and that�s not even taking a biblical flood into consideration.

# ? Nov 30, 2017 12:02

Bucky Fullminster: Apr 13, 2007

About the citizenship thing, this is what I said when Ludlam first stepped down back in July:

Hobo Erotica posted:

God dammit Scott literally no one gives a poo poo, even the right wing media would shrug at this, renounce the NZ thing if you have to and get the gently caress back to work in senate estimates committee

I... I know you guys think I'm wrong a lot of the time, but gently caress...

How much time and energy have we wasted on this stupid poo poo.

# ? Nov 30, 2017 12:03

Bucky Fullminster: Apr 13, 2007

JBP posted:

My thread is still the most successful AusPol thread. Maybe even the most successful thread in general. It was a great thread. More pages and posts than any other I've seen.

A lot of people saying that, many people, great people. Very great.

# ? Nov 30, 2017 12:05

DancingShade: Jul 26, 2007; by Fluffdaddy

Hobo Erotica posted:

A lot of people saying that, many people, great people. Very great.

Many bigly people. Most good.

# ? Nov 30, 2017 12:17

bandaid.friend: Apr 25, 2017; My first car was a stick

ATM down the road was replaced with a touchscreen model and it's stuffed. First of all why would I want to be prodding at the display like an idiot. And of course it broke, and there's no fall back, the buttons on the side of the display don't do anything. I just want my money. It's a bloody outrage. How do I get dumbshit ATMs looked into in the inquiry?

# ? Nov 30, 2017 12:21

thatbastardken: Apr 23, 2010; A contract signed by a minor is not binding!

Birdstrike posted:

Time for sodomy

aww yeah

# ? Nov 30, 2017 12:24

Cartoon: Jun 20, 2008; poop

This is what happens when you go to an early OP :argh:

# ? Nov 30, 2017 12:27

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Premature thread creation.

# ? Nov 30, 2017 12:49

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Thirty-year-old Kole Olsen appeared in Hornsby Local Court in Sydney, Australia, today on one count of drunk driving, after a bizarre altercation in a McDonald's car park involving 200 chicken McNuggets. He pled guilty to the charges.

On Thursday, the court was told that after a night of drinking earlier this month Olsen drove to Thornleigh McDonald's and ordered 200 chicken McNuggets at the drive-thru.

When he was told the nuggets weren't available, Olsen was said to have responded with: "I want my loving nuggets ... I'm gonna gently caress you up."

Olsen, who in court said he was vegan, then drove four laps around the drive-thru lane of the McDonald's while honking his horn before finally ordering 200 hash browns instead. The meal cost him $230.

After continued abuse from Olsen, McDonald's staff feared for their safety and locked the restaurant doors. Requesting a refund, the drunken Olsen could not remember what he had ordered and instead asked to be reimbursed for 200 large fries and 200 Big Macs.

Police found Olsen drunk at the wheel after they were called by McDonald's staff. He had a blood alcohol level of 0.175. While Olsen avoided jail time, he has been fined $1,000, sentenced to a one-year good behaviour bond, and is banned from driving for nine months.

# ? Nov 30, 2017 12:49