yospos lgbtqia+ thread: gender is a fsck

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Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

Sup, guys.

# ¿ Dec 6, 2017 22:02

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# ¿ May 9, 2024 06:20

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

ultravoices posted:

I will worry about the factions on the left that are not down with the queers when they can do anything more than post screeds on the internet or make a food not bombs meeting somewhat uncomfortable.

Most of the tankies I've ever run across were pretty well off, and they'll probably take their poo poo opinions on the subject with them when their "gently caress you, Dad" phase is over. I mean, hell, I've always been pretty liberal but I used to have some TERF-adjacent Bad Ideas about trans issues and a lot of other ones, largely informed by incredible self-loathing.

And even people who are ostensibly allies can be pretty lovely without even realizing it (one great thing about the last couple of months is that I'll probably never have to see that goddamn "human being doesn't mean gay!" Louis C.K. bit ever again). gently caress, even those of the tribe can be ultra-lovely about anything that isn't super specific to them--one of the most disheartening nights of my life was canvassing for NOH8 and getting assigned to the corner right by Tiger Heat.

# ¿ Dec 7, 2017 00:09

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

Zamujasa posted:

ah yes the funy computer forum, obviously the best place to post this

i originally thought of myself as just another dumb idiot cis male but in the last two years and especially the last two months i've been noticing that i might actually be trans and a lot of that cis thought might just be repression from the environment and my upbringing (my family was fairly conservative and even as recently as 2015 i had to deal with a family member calling a trans person "transvestite" as an insult and deadnaming them intentionally)

it's kind of like running "gender defrag.exe" complete with "gently caress realized another repressed memory, starting over" and it will probably take about as long as the real one before i really know what the hell is going on in my dumb idiot brain

e: also i'm asexual. it feels weird to consider that under 'queer' though, but i guess that'll feel more normal eventually since i only really realized that a week ago

Not A-shaming here, but have you considered that your lack of interest in and/or drive for sex might be a repressive reflex to being in a body you don't feel comfortable in? Again, no shaming or denialism, but if you're not comfortable in your own skin you're not going to be comfortable in anyone else's.

Or you may be Morrissey, in which case you can go piss up a rope.

And I can completely understand the family angle--my family wasn't particularly conservative or religious, but the day-to-day casual poo poo and my dad trying to beat his sexuality out of me kept me from being completely me for a long time.

At any rate, you've made a big step here and you should be proud of yourself. Reflect, explore and when poo poo gets bad--it almost certainly will--just try to remember that who you are and how you feel is not a matter of consensus. If you're not hurting anyone, then gently caress all and sundry.

If you have a local LGBTQ center, definitely check it out. There are people there who can help you through the rough spots and teach you how to get the next generation through their rough spots.

# ¿ Dec 7, 2017 01:03

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

Kazinsal posted:

wait when did we drop two Qs into one? also does P stand for pan because if so P crew represent

I think we're kinda folded into Queer, which is like the Hufflepuff of gender/sexual identity.

# ¿ Dec 7, 2017 01:11

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

Zamujasa posted:

it sucks for me because i still live in my hometown. most of my family is within 10 or 15 miles. i've mostly gone dark or n/c with some of them for other reasons, though.

Don't know where you are, but my knee-jerk response is

Even if the place isn't completely unfriendly, it's easier to find out who you are when you aren't constantly subconsciously living up to what other people have come to expect from you.

quote:

I've been questioning this short of poo poo for years, but only in recent time have i actually seriously thought about any of it. and when i do, i feel like i'm still finding excuses. "i waited this long", or "what if i realize that isn't the case at all", and so on. poo poo that everyone tells me they've gone through, too.

Yeah, there can be a real temptation to let the status quo stand, but trust me: it's better to know than not. If it is the case? Fantastic. If it isn't the case? Also fantastic. Either way at the end of it you know yourself better and that's almost always a good thing.

quote:

i probably won't go to any center, at least not yet. it's a lot easier to talk about this poo poo online.

It's a process. Challenge yourself, sure, but don't overextend. When you feel comfortable, I recommend it. All of these feelings, doubts and what-not you've got going on, someone there has probably experienced the same thing, and you're most likely not going to be on the wrong end of any gold-star bullshit.

# ¿ Dec 7, 2017 02:01

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

Raere posted:

I'm a fan of using queer instead of LGBT++++++++++ because someone's always going to be left out if you use an acronym.

It's more complicated, but more precise. Not everyone is involved with what we're doing to the soil.

# ¿ Dec 7, 2017 02:04

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

A Pinball Wizard posted:

queer is ok if you are using it in the right context

Those contexts being:

1) Being queer
2) Not being queer, but also not being a butthole
3) Being Shirley Manson

Inappropriate contexts:

1) Being a butthole
2) Making unfounded insinuations about things that are being done to the soil

# ¿ Dec 7, 2017 05:17

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

Triglav posted:

bi's what you say around str8s

Or around buttholes that barely recognize bisexuality anyway. I'm sure you can think of at least one or two.

# ¿ Dec 7, 2017 08:51

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

Ciaphas posted:

like i imagine shaving the peach fuzz off of my arms and hands, then th ink about being asked by people at work (or, oh god, family) why I did that and I shudder massively

"Because I wanted to." should work well enough. Trust me, you often make these things bigger in your head than they're ever going to be in real life.

After all those years of running scenarios and trying to figure out how to explain this, that or the next thing, just about all I got when I did the big reveal was a chorus of "Well, yeah. No poo poo, Sherlock. You thought you were in?"

Zamujasa posted:

it's funny in a way, after i wrote that big long mess i feel a lot better. i just don't know why it took this long.

Because it's a little daunting, isn't it?

cis autodrag posted:

Our dumb brains work in mysterious ways.

Also this. Lots and lots of this.

# ¿ Dec 13, 2017 00:57

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

cis autodrag posted:

Our dumb brains work in mysterious ways

# ¿ Dec 13, 2017 09:30

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

cis autodrag posted:

you're confused. im talking about if youre immigrating to NZ from like Russia. the website is about getting an NZ visa.

I think that section means that any sexual offenses which are also offenses under New Zealand law at the time of application. The compelling interest is to exclude those who are likely to break New Zealand law.

# ¿ Dec 13, 2017 09:39

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

cis autodrag posted:

Right, but it's vague and vague is bad when you're at the mercy of a humans judgement. If the statute is more specific then it might be fine.

I'm just working on the assumption that the NZ legal system isn't quite as lovely as the US's, much less 50 times over. Maybe some of you sheep-fuckers can correct me, but as a commonwealth country I imagine that parliamentary binding rules* also apply and you've got a similar enough judiciary that even if someone got a pickle up their rear end about a conviction for consensual sodomy or crimes against nature** it could be worked out.

* This one is a double-edged sword. Solves so many problems, but can also cause so many others.
** I don't know if this is still on the books, but it sure as poo poo was in Las Vegas in 2007.

# ¿ Dec 13, 2017 22:06

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

Did you know that Lincoln had a secretary named Kennedy and Kennedy had a secretary named Lincoln? Such an amazing coincidence. Just like when my department had to let someone go for budgetary reasons just a couple of days after the Diane fact sheet fell out of my bag.

makes u think about the interconnectedness of all things

# ¿ Dec 21, 2017 01:17

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

Antiandrogens.

# ¿ Dec 21, 2017 02:24

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

Are they fancy? I just takes what they gives me.

# ¿ Dec 21, 2017 03:23

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

I don't think it's actually possible for me to pee any more than I already do

# ¿ Dec 21, 2017 04:16

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

cis autodrag posted:

Yeah in the USA the fda only allows Spiro. If you're getting something else you're buying it grey market or your doctor is sidestepping the law.

Holy poo poo, you're right.

My doc's in Mexico and they've never given me any poo poo at the border. I wouldn't get into too much trouble, would I?

# ¿ Dec 21, 2017 06:55

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

cis autodrag posted:

It's not illegal to have. It's just against fda guidelines for your doctor to prescribe it for off label use as an antiandrogen. You're fine.

But... Going to Mexico for medical care is not a great idea.

Eh, the war's over and I see one particular doctor down there because they came recommended. Anything heavy and I'll see my doc in WeHo.

# ¿ Dec 21, 2017 07:47

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

cis autodrag posted:

Spent Xmas in Wisconsin. While we were in waukesha we overheard a lady at another table ask the restaurant manager to ask us to stop holding hands. Her hair looked exactly how you'd expect.

like this?

# ¿ Dec 27, 2017 06:39

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

Lunar Suite posted:

the photo in which my leather club and I depict The Last Supper.

Post it.

# ¿ Dec 27, 2017 21:35

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

yosqueer holiday report, did Christmas 2 days late edition:

My incredibly blunt aunt posted:

So what's up with the tits?

# ¿ Dec 28, 2017 09:51

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

ultravoices posted:

do you like them? i made them myself.

It's grandmas's recipe.

# ¿ Dec 28, 2017 21:28

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

cis autodrag posted:

I got ds already but I'm like 6'4" so the proportions are all wrong. Going 800ccs bitches.

Saline or silicone? (Might have mine done if I don't completely grow into the family chest)

# ¿ Dec 28, 2017 22:57

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

cis autodrag posted:

Silicone. Saline is ancient trash tech and the only people who get them are crazies who want to have cartoon porno boobs.

You won't get as big as your cis family members. It just doesn't happen. Count yourself lucky if they grow and stay symmetrical.

So far so good on symmetry and growth (did have a bit of a head-start on that) but unless I plateau real small I'll be alright with it. My older sister basically needs three sports bras and one of those ratchet straps just to jog.

# ¿ Dec 28, 2017 23:48

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

anatoliy pltkrvkay posted:

thats not the yospos spirit

more piss

I'm all about quality over quantity.

# ¿ Dec 29, 2017 11:33

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

Crazy Achmed posted:

trying to think of a joke about 6 sigma here

Just say 6 Sigma and that should be funny enough.

# ¿ Dec 30, 2017 23:34

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

cis autodrag posted:

I've heard lipo is the most awful to recover from and it's next in my list.

I saw lipo being done on the discovery channel years back before it was wall to wall Amish toddler beauty pageants and it was horrifying.

# ¿ Jan 1, 2018 20:05

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

cis autodrag posted:

I identify pan even though I'm like 95 percent oriented toward women most of the time. There's men I think are good looking, but most of the time it's ruined when they start talking.

Yeeeeeeepppp. :smithicide:

Helianthus Annuus posted:

is that ok? any clearer? too inconsiderate? are there better options i'm not thinking of?

Just off the top of my head, there's the fact that there isn't really a line of demarcation to switch over from one to the other. It was always that way, it just wasn't recognized as being such. You wouldn't, in the same paragraph, refer to Pluto as a planet prior to 2006 and then a dwarf planet after. It was the same thing the whole time.

Secondly, the effort, difficulty and danger of making these deep, existential corrections deserves some respect so use those preferred pronouns all the way back to the womb, thank you very much.

# ¿ Jan 9, 2018 01:00

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

Synthbuttrange posted:

I didnt think I did, but looking back on it wow does it ever stand out.

-hate pretty much every social aspect of being male
-looking at myself in the mirror was pretty terrible
-the idea of growing old as a guy uggggh
-the emotional range of being a guy (rarrgh)
-the horniness

So once I came out to myself that I am trans rather than trying to suppress it for fear of not passing, things were just a lot better in my head.

This. Once I was able to admit it, a lot of things suddenly made a lot more sense and all the baggage I was carrying around me felt a whole lot lighter.

# ¿ Jan 16, 2018 20:57

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

Jesus, WTF, Netflix? So I'm watching La Mante with Spanish audio and English subtitles because I'm trying to brush up and it ends up being way more offensive than anything Dave Chapelle could come up with.

I'm not going to spoiler tag it, to save you all the trouble, but the villain ends up being a transgender woman who kills men who have rejected her sexually BECAUSE THAT'S HOW THINGS HAPPEN.

There are also numerous other problems, but the Sinister Transsexual is something that needed to go away decades ago and yet still clings on.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2018 03:41

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

cis autodrag posted:

Villian sounds like an idiot anyway. Who's interested in men sexually? Gross.

If I had a nickel for every time I've sworn off men I'd have a sock full of them to knock some sense into myself when the next one comes around.

Stop being such a Gold Star.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2018 05:59

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

Improbable Lobster posted:

the whole "trap" thing strikes me as Extremely Online and also lacking in any sort of self-awareness

It is extremely online and what happens when people begin to understand their identities in a cesspool of edgelords and chasers.

# ¿ Jan 22, 2018 01:53

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

fishmech posted:

this is the one I use: http://www.triabeauty.com/products/hair-removal-laser-4x

the current one I'm using, was one that was on sale at a boston thrift store for $10 since the place clearly didn't know what it was, but a more typical price for a used one will be around $100-$200 since obviously you might not want to pay the full $400 for a new one, even though i know plenty of people who have got them new because they didn't want to risk a dud.

Seriously, thank you.

# ¿ Jan 25, 2018 23:00

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

Sagebrush posted:

I used her new name the next time I saw her. She didn't react in any particular way. Was what I did inappropriate because she hadn't specifically come out to me?

This has happened to me--not at work though--and I was actually relieved that I didn't have to have The Conversation again.

# ¿ Jan 31, 2018 20:26

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

What a loving prick.

# ¿ Feb 3, 2018 23:40

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

Helianthus Annuus posted:

glad to hear some good news

regarding the harassment from the first surgeon: i did NOT see that coming. yikes

Surgeons are quite often psychopaths.

# ¿ Feb 4, 2018 03:22

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

Ciaphas posted:

In other tangential news to the yosqueer thread, it's been a couple weeks since I tried that tria laser thing on part of my legs and arms

my hair never grows quick at the best of times but the patches i zapped are noticeably thinner than the parts i missed, so hooray for that. hopefully results continue to develop because trans or not, girl or not, shaved skin beats the hell out of my gross peachfuzz

How irritated was your skin after the initial zap?

# ¿ Feb 6, 2018 05:10

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

cis autodrag posted:

i'm not sure, but in the last couple years she's fallen hard because one patient had their whole labia die, and she hosed up anesthesia with a couple others

Well, if I wasn't generally terrified of surgery before...

# ¿ Feb 8, 2018 18:35

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

FAT32 SHAMER posted:

I got pierced with a 0g needle

imagine a bic pen getting shoved through your lobes, it owned

# ¿ Feb 10, 2018 19:01

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# ¿ May 9, 2024 06:20

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

Sagebrush posted:

someday trans people are gonna have the option of cybernetic vagenes/peenys and he'll be vindicated

Bio-engineered bits are the real goal, although I wouldn't turn my nose up at a pair of Tleilaxu eyes.

# ¿ Feb 12, 2018 08:43

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > yospos lgbtqia+ thread: gender is a fsck

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