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ah yes the funy computer forum, obviously the best place to post this i originally thought of myself as just another dumb idiot cis male but in the last two years and especially the last two months i've been noticing that i might actually be trans and a lot of that cis thought might just be repression from the environment and my upbringing (my family was fairly conservative and even as recently as 2015 i had to deal with a family member calling a trans person "transvestite" as an insult and deadnaming them intentionally) it's kind of like running "gender defrag.exe" complete with "gently caress realized another repressed memory, starting over" and it will probably take about as long as the real one before i really know what the hell is going on in my dumb idiot brain e: also i'm asexual. it feels weird to consider that under 'queer' though, but i guess that'll feel more normal eventually since i only really realized that a week ago
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Dec 7, 2017 00:27
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Raere posted:You don't have a dumb idiot brain because you're questioning yourself. Every person questions their identity as some point, most people just don't want to say so out loud. oh the dumb idiot part isn't because of gender/sex poo poo, it's just a default feature
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Dec 7, 2017 00:30
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Peeny Cheez posted:Not A-shaming here, but have you considered that your lack of interest in and/or drive for sex might be a repressive reflex to being in a body you don't feel comfortable in? Again, no shaming or denialism, but if you're not comfortable in your own skin you're not going to be comfortable in anyone else's. quote:And I can completely understand the family angle--my family wasn't particularly conservative or religious, but the day-to-day casual poo poo and my dad trying to beat his sexuality out of me kept me from being completely me for a long time. quote:At any rate, you've made a big step here and you should be proud of yourself. Reflect, explore and when poo poo gets bad--it almost certainly will--just try to remember that who you are and how you feel is not a matter of consensus. If you're not hurting anyone, then gently caress all and sundry. i probably won't go to any center, at least not yet. it's a lot easier to talk about this poo poo online.
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Dec 7, 2017 01:23
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structured queery language
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Dec 7, 2017 01:34
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i imagine the reason we see a lot more queer folks in the tech space is just because it's much easier for queer folks to meet up on the internet. it's much harder for thousands of people to all show up at some building in some city than it is for us to just gather online, and of course our networks spread out much further than the ones we have in-person. there's probably also an aspect that people who are involved with or using tech are also more aware of queerness in general. i didn't even know what transgender stuff was (or gay/les/bi/etc.) until some time on the internet, just because the place i grew up in and the family i grew up around made sure that sort of thing was otherwise totally quashed unscientific anecdotal guesses of course e: also the anonymous apsect of it. i can come out as trans and talk about my gender poo poo here without having to worry about my idiot conservative boss freaking out like he did when someone had the audacity to color their hair e 2: it is very, very strange how easily "come out as trans" managed to get written there after literally months and probably years of very carefully evading ever directly mentioning it Zamujasa fucked around with this message at 22:33 on Dec 7, 2017 |
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Dec 7, 2017 22:26
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i tend to give people the benefit of the doubt re misgendering when i see it happen the first time. if they do it after being corrected or told then i just assume they're being an rear end in a top hat. but most of that is just because i used to be someone like this:ate all the Oreos posted:it's easy to forget that a huge chunk of the population doesn't really know anything about transpeople. unfortunately most of the us education system barely even handles hetero sex ed beyond "lol don't". things like orientation and gender identity are so foreign to most people that the sheer concept that someone could be different than what it might look like is mind-boggling. and of course half the adults in the us generally would prefer anybody like us vanish off the face off the planet i've been working on replacing using "he" for default with "they" and i still slip up every now and then because it's deprogramming 25 years of that
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Dec 9, 2017 21:17
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could you just say "starting next time i'm going to be doing roll calling, if your name/pronoun is different from your legal one please send me an email at sagebrush@whatever.edu"? that way they could contact you without being outed. alternatively you could ask everyone to write down their student id and name/pronouns and hand in those sheets
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Dec 9, 2017 22:35
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how do people make a decision about gender bullshit, anyway i went from "haha i'm trans  " to "i don't know poo poo and i think i'm full of it  " again today and just like. gently caress, how do people decide this. i'm not really dysphoric other than hating facial hair and my awful body, i think about it sometimes but it's not like it's a huge issue to meit seems so easy for everyone else. just saying "i feel kind of trans" feels like a huge loving copout what do you even do past that (obvious answer: therapy)
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Dec 10, 2017 08:51
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ate all the Oreos posted:i don't mean this in a hostile way or anything but, what exactly do you think dysphoria is... that's the thing: i don't entirely know. i follow a lot of trans folks in various places and when they talk about being dysphoric it sounds like anything from upsetting to like, panic-attack inducing at points. and in my case i just feel mildly irritated. the kind of mild irritation you get when you hit every red light in a row. i think i was just in a bad place last night. i feel better today. i'm doing what i can w/ therapy but the last therapist i tried seeing was not a pleasant experience so i'm working up the mental strength to try finding another one. Progressive JPEG posted:is "bro" gendered? what about "bra"? use bra when you're in the company of your best buds because bras are supposed to be supportive 
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Dec 11, 2017 04:49
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fishmech posted:one thing to consider in general is that if you have had something suppressed for long enough whether through somewhat consciously doing so or as a result of depression or something, it may feel like you only feel it a little now. But actually investigating it or lifting depression or w/e can lead to you realizing you really feel that quite a bit. that's the situation i'm in, yeah. reddit, but someone linked me to a post on asktransgender asking if cis folks ever thought about their gender, or what it would be like to be different, and the response was usually "as a cis person, i don't think about it at all". i've been having to realize that the feelings i'm experiencing (self-loathing, dysphoria, Gender Feels™, etc) aren't normal, i've just internalized them to the point i thought they were. see also "what do you think dysphoria is", above a friend of mine is getting their facial hair lasered off in the near future and i'm considering doing it myself. i've thought about it before but always had "well, what if i actually want it at some point" doubts, but i'm beginning to realize i'm never actually going to have those doubts and i should just loving do it already
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Dec 11, 2017 19:19
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Changed my pronouns in my Twitter bio a week or so ago and someone finally noticed and asked me about it. So then I proceeded to write what was originally a short "well, uh" response and then that just sort of spiraled into a big "here's all my thoughts about my gender bullshit, and also i'm trans i guess" public coming-out post. People were supportive but it doesn't feel like the accomplishment people made it out to be. I just wrote words.  cis autodrag posted:big ol post about everything, goddamn also w/r/t gender markers, is there a good resource on name changes and that sort of poo poo on a state-by-state basis? my partner's in a weird position where she was born overseas so the "notice of birth" or w/e is a complicating factor. she'd originally paid some cash to an in-town lawyer to help sort everything out, and then it turned out that after a ton of years he was actually a big fraud and vanished
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Dec 12, 2017 23:24
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cis autodrag posted:Yes. Spironolactone is a potassium sparing diuretic. That means your kidneys are working double time but not passing potassium very quickly. This results in potassium buildup in the kidneys if you take in too much too quickly and can lead to renal failure. The biggest risks are salt substitutes and bananas because of their relatively high amount of potassium, but you should really be minimizing intake as much as possible. Also upping your sodium intake because you are losing a lot of it because, again, it's a diuretic. alright. hopefully some chunks in a fruit smoothie won't be a huge issue. i don't have any immediate plans for hrt right now, so i'm not really worried about it myself. it's funny in a way, after i wrote that big long mess i feel a lot better. i just don't know why it took this long.
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Dec 13, 2017 00:47
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cis autodrag posted:Our dumb brains work in mysterious ways. you can say that again 
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Dec 13, 2017 03:22
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UberJew posted:i didn't recognize dysphoria as dysphoria until i had come out to myself as trans, because my hatred of my own image was 'because im fat and ugly' or w/e this is pretty much my experience, then once i admitted it to myself i promptly buried it and haven't spoken of it again since. oops. i'm bad at this. like everyone else said, talk to a therapist. try several if you don't think the one you found is working out. also, the ""fun"" part of dysphoria/trans-feelings is trying to figure out what they mean before you entirely understand it. like at least if you punch a wall you go "that hurt and was dumb, i shouldn't do that" but if you feel just vaguely uncomfortable you don't really have anything to compare it to. surely some people hate their facial hair, right? and there's enough gender change media out there that other people probably think like this but that doesn't mean anything, etc. denial can be pretty stron in the end, you're really the only person that knows yourself. other people can help you figure it out though.
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Jan 16, 2018 23:39
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never worry about not seeing your friends by never having any in the first place  i'm still trying to convince my useless depressed brain to do something of value. i need to get into the habit of shaving regularly instead of just every week or two because seeing myself without facial hair feels good, it's just impossible to work up the motivation to do it regularly. also trying to figure out therapy and psychologist bullshit but not exactly eager to find out that any appointment is going to be months away
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Jan 18, 2018 20:04
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i just assume that someone identifying as a "trap" is the same kind of person who identifies as an apache attack helicopter: an rear end in a top hat that is not serious and also almost certainly not worth associating with, everAvenging_Mikon posted:Well, I’ve literally always hated looking in the mirror, but I chalked it up to depression and being fat. But maybe the depression is a thing... this is basically exactly how i've been feeling for the last few years. then i noticed i felt better when i took certain steps to change my outer appearance. it's nothing major: staying cleanly shaven as much as i can, long hair, using those goofy hair scrunchies. and then i started to put two and two together, and here i am.
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Jan 21, 2018 21:22
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Avenging_Mikon posted:I’m going to dip my toes in and change my hairstyle to minimize my massive widows peak and grow it out nicely. See how it feels. Shaving is such a pain in the rear end either way that I’m considering laser hair removal no matter what happens. i need to look into that poo poo too, at some point. that and maybe braiding my hair. it's long enough to do that now, i think
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Jan 22, 2018 19:18
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it works out because when you see one of those trans-exclusive jerks you can say "bi bi" and walk away  (i hope this joke isn't panned too heavily)
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Jan 23, 2018 00:49
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Avenging_Mikon posted:So I'm wearing my hair a bit differently now, to cover more of my forehead without being straight up bangs. I also looked up some voice feminization coaching videos on youtube, and tried them out a little.
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Jan 25, 2018 19:39
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two friends of mine independently said that i have been 'presenting differently' since what could weakly be called my coming-out post, despite me mostly not... feeling like i'm doing anything different? i haven't made much progress at all in anything, and still have no idea if or when i will.  ate all the Oreos posted:i had a boss like that that would regularly tell us all to turn off our emotions and just work, and then proceed to get real mad and yell at us a bunch over relatively minor things, i'm sure the two aren't related at all this is pretty much how the boss of this place operates. feelings are overrated, just be a cog. it sucks.
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Jan 31, 2018 21:06
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ate all the Oreos posted:i gave my boss a bit of slack on this cuz he was just kinda forced into the management position because the company didn't want to hire an actual manager and instead just made one of the devs do it, so all his management knowledge came from his experience in the soviet military unfortunately the owner here was an owner previously and has his own military experience, so it isn't something i can really afford him slack on. quote:cis autodrag words i assume that if you know someone asking them one-on-one "what would you prefer i call you" wouldn't be too terribly taboo, would it? e: im good at bbcode Zamujasa fucked around with this message at 23:21 on Jan 31, 2018 |
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Jan 31, 2018 23:11
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probably also worth mentioning that it's not just eating less but eating better as well. see a doc, get checked out, make sure you're getting all the right poo poo your body needs.
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Feb 5, 2018 21:47
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my partner had a dream last night just before waking up where I apparently appeared with even longer hair and a more feminine appearance and I asked her (in the dream) if I should just go out to the living room and tell everyone I'm a girl i know it's just some silly dream, but it felt... good? to hear. some day.
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Feb 8, 2018 22:12
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what game is it?
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Feb 17, 2018 20:40
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friend of mine came out to their parents a few days ago, and said their parents responded "better than expected" by "only" making casual misgendering jokes instead of being full-bore awful. and then a day or two later they actually became fully awful about everything, including demanding to know why she didn't come out sooner, or how she could do this to them, etc etc etc. my only advice was  , but just. christ. why do parents always gotta be terrible
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Feb 21, 2018 21:29
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Sagebrush posted:i have some cousins who were raised hyper hyper fundamentalist christian and two of them are queer -- one is gay and the other is non-binary. when the first of them came out their mom cried for weeks about "what did i do wrong" and dad refused to talk to them at all. but over time the parents got woke and backed way off from the fundamentalism and accepted their kids' reality and now the whole family participates in pride events and stuff yeah i'm hoping that for this person they come around but i'm seeing a lot of symptoms of narc parents and that situation never ends well. meanwhile every since privately coming out and putting more thought to gender bullshit i'm starting to really get a feel for what dysphoria is like and goddamn it sucks; the best way to put is before i really thought about it i was gloriously oblivious to the problem and now that i have a good idea of what it is it's starting to really bother me
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Feb 21, 2018 21:38
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a lot of people i'm close with have narcissistic parents, including myself, so is usually the only good option when dealing with family i keep reminding the people close to me that family isn't who raised you or who birthed you, it's who you're close to and who you care about the most it helps sometimes
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Feb 21, 2018 23:42
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cis autodrag posted:testosterone speaking of, i wonder if my levels are still hosed up it's always been kind of weird to hear people who had t levels of like 800+ before hrt, or slowly getting it down to 350 or so after a year or two
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Feb 23, 2018 23:26
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quote:TESTOSTERONE, TOTAL, MALES (ADULT), IA it was apparently bad enough that when i saw an endo proper they straight up asked me if i'd had some sort of injury (none that i know of other than posting in yospos) i'm actually supposed to be on T proper, but even 3 years ago i was having some trans questions and just... didnt ever take it, welp.
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Feb 23, 2018 23:48
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if you want to quote anything i said (did i even say anything of consequence here? i forgot) feel free to quote me and if you do i'm glad i could help you out in some way. e: gently caress, new page. sorry
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Mar 19, 2018 06:18
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i would never come out to family, but i've had many years to decide that before i started to really think about the gender stuff. besides, the last thing i need is for my mother to have yet another reason to show up unannounced and unwelcome at my workplace. toxic family is hosed up
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Mar 28, 2018 19:49
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i know a few poly people. my partner is one of them and she's nice. poly people seem to show up a lot in the circles i'm in.
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Mar 29, 2018 18:04
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Improbable Lobster posted:the nb person (is there a shorter way to say that) i'm talking to has never heard of the trailer park boys, what the gently caress
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Mar 31, 2018 03:49
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there's always the twitter knockoff "mastodon" which has been gaining popularity as a decentralized social media net. my exposure is limited but it's full of queer people. since anybody can host their own instance of it there's also a bunch of queer-oriented ones. if you don't like the fundamental way twitter works though mastodon won't be much better cis autodrag posted:your new avatar is pretty good 
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Apr 3, 2018 18:15
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im gonna own this queer poster by giving them a cute dog as an avatar. 
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Apr 3, 2018 18:59
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i'm just reminded of the anti-steroid commercials that showed a bunch of sports balls shrivelling up steroids and the culture around them is weird
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Apr 3, 2018 20:12
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cis autodrag posted:booty buddy this legit sounds like something off an as-seen-on-tv ad congrats on filling your asspirations
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Apr 12, 2018 09:31
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cis autodrag posted:Fast. But the vicodin locks you up for a while so I haven't gone yet. gamefaqs infinite turbo and super dunk code
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Apr 13, 2018 08:49
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one of my friends just started the whole hrt thing and it's really good seeing how excited they are it was cool to hear that the stuff i wrote about my own gender bullshit helped them too i just wish i wasn't somewhat jealous about it, since i'm still dealing w/ my own gender thought bullshit
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Apr 13, 2018 08:54
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this surgery sounds like a real pain in the rear end
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Apr 16, 2018 05:46
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