Help! I've turned into a Cat! Let's Play Choice of the Cat!

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > Help! I've turned into a Cat! Let's Play Choice of the Cat!

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VivaLa Eeveelution: Apr 3, 2011

Just like the big boofy neighbour cat that eats what my cat doesn't: Stay...stayyyyyyy...

Re: realism - We're also attempting to co-opt Claire's political career for our benefit, are we not? As far as cats go, we're potentially the genetic ground zero for The Planet of the Cats...

...and the shelter would have speutered us. Great.

# ? Mar 27, 2018 00:25

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# ? May 5, 2024 09:07

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Stay

# ? Mar 27, 2018 00:49

Avalerion: Oct 19, 2012

Try befriend him. :3:

# ? Mar 27, 2018 08:24

Thesaya: May 17, 2011; I am a Plant.

Andr� is not being fair. Let him know this, loudly.

# ? Mar 27, 2018 08:38

dont be mean to me: May 2, 2007; I'm interplanetary, bitch
Let's go to Mars

You're going to feed another cat in front of me and leave me hungry? Seriously, Andre, what the hell.

# ? Mar 27, 2018 09:07

Alopex: May 31, 2012; This is the sleeve I have chosen.

Stay still and be cool. We are a cat and this is how cats make friends, we're not a rude dog.

gently caress Andre for snubbing us tho. We'll get him later.

# ? Mar 27, 2018 13:44

Ignatius M. Meen: May 26, 2011; Hello yes I heard there was a lovely trainwreck here and...

Stay cool. Do we want to be friends with Maddox or not??

# ? Mar 27, 2018 14:56

AJ_Impy: Jun 17, 2007; SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?; Yam Slacker

Befriend, but maintain territorial integrity.

# ? Mar 27, 2018 16:09

Thesaya: May 17, 2011; I am a Plant.

Ignatius M. Meen posted:

Stay cool. Do we want to be friends with Maddox or not??

We are also a cat. To not demand food at this point would just be wrong.

# ? Mar 28, 2018 15:52

Ignatius M. Meen: May 26, 2011; Hello yes I heard there was a lovely trainwreck here and...

Thesaya posted:

We are also a cat. To not demand food at this point would just be wrong.

A cat that cares about politics and doesn't respond to important papers by sitting on them. I think we've established we're not very catlike.

# ? Mar 28, 2018 20:19

SimplyUnknown1: Aug 18, 2017; Cat Cat Cat

Ok, we have no votes for bullying Maddox or warning him off our turf, three votes for befriending him, and a tie between staying still or meowing. Heads for meow, tails for stay...and it's heads. Looks like we're acting like a regular cat.

quote:

Your demands aren't really working as you'd like, so you move on to your second tactic.

To show Andre how hungry you are, you sneak over to where Maddox is, mewing pitifully, and snatch a chunk from his bowl. Maddox rails. Andre snatches you away with lightning speed.

"There, now you've had some, happy?" Andre shoos you toward the far window. "From the mouths of the downtrodden, I might add." He folds his arms.

You slink along the far side of the room, inching inward when you think you can. Each time you're told to wait your turn, your turn being "dinnertime," which means practically nothing in cat terms. Eventually, you curl up under the table to conserve your energy for when it'll be more effective.

...I think that went well, don't you?

quote:

Not too long later, when Maddox has been safely let out through the strange kitchen door, you find yourself lazing in a patch of evening sun. But your nap is interrupted when Claire bursts in, in a hurry to find something.

"You haven't seen a bit of paper with a mind map thingy on it, have you?" she asks Andre.

"The one on the table?" her lanky-limbed husband replies. His voice has more hope than certainty, but he gets a massive kiss from Claire when he turns out to be right. She scrapes the thing up off the polished wood and skims over it as she turns around to leave. Her lips are moving silently. When she reaches the door, she stops abruptly.

"How did it go with the cats?" She looks around, dazed, like something's missing.

"Well, there was a very annoying display of jealousy from Morgana," Andre says with a shrug as he tries to meet Claire's gaze.

"Oh," she mumbles, like she's only half paying attention. "It sounds like it could have been worse. Where is Maddox?"

Andre shuts his eyes and slaps his palm lightly to his forehead. Claire's eyes flash. You suddenly notice how her haircut looks a lot like cats' fur does when they're about to launch into a fight.

"You forgot, didn't you?"

Andre doesn't actually answer. He just grimaces and slowly lets his hand fall. He meets her eyes with a woebegone expression.

"You were supposed to keep him here with us. We talked about this less than an hour ago!" Claire flaps her mind map at him like it's some kind of legal summons.

He makes strange chewing motions with his jaw, but he still can't seem to think of an answer.

"Please, Andre." Claire stares up at the ceiling like she's drawing strength from the light fixture. When she looks back at Andre, her jaw is tight. "Please tell me that wasn't a deliberate effort to protect that bloated twat you think is human."

If you could answer for her stuttering husband, you'd probably say the following:

-"I just wasn't thinking. We should help that cat out. He looks like he needs it."
-"Perhaps I was making sure to give Morgana space, not protecting Helmut."
-"I want Morgana to be the only cat around here."
-"Who cares? Get Morgana everything her heart desires, or I'll set fire to the house."

Some of these feel a bit out of character for Andre, but whatever. What do we want him to say?

1. "I just wasn't thinking. We should help that cat out. He looks like he needs it."
2. "Perhaps I was making sure to give Morgana space, not protecting Helmut."
3. "I want Morgana to be the only cat around here."
4. "Who cares? Get Morgana everything her heart desires, or I'll set fire to the house."

quote:

Cat Treats Acquired: 2
Mice Hunted: 0
Contempt: 37% Affection: 63%
Audacious: 52% Cautious: 48%
Manipulative: 59% Demanding: 41%
Self-Interested: 54% Loyal: 46%
Feral: 53% Domesticated: 47%
Fun-Loving: 55% Comfort-Seeking: 45%
Logical: 43% Intuitive: 57%
Claire's Dislike: 33% Claire's Like: 67%
Andre's Dislike: 35% Andre's Like: 65%
Moon: is intrigued by you.
Bene: is your friend.
Maddox: doesn't care about you.

# ? Mar 28, 2018 22:15

achtungnight: Oct 5, 2014; I get my fun here. Enjoy!

#1. Help our brother cat out. Feline Unity!

# ? Mar 28, 2018 22:19

Slaan: Mar 16, 2009; ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

Fire

# ? Mar 28, 2018 22:24

VivaLa Eeveelution: Apr 3, 2011

"I, Andre the box non-opener, just wasn't thinking, etc." This is news how?

# ? Mar 28, 2018 22:55

Ignatius M. Meen: May 26, 2011; Hello yes I heard there was a lovely trainwreck here and...

1 because yep, he wasn't thinking.

# ? Mar 28, 2018 23:04

Cirina: Feb 15, 2013; Operation complete.

#1 as should be abundantly clear by now Andre is an idiot.

# ? Mar 28, 2018 23:40

Willie Tomg: Feb 2, 2006

We have no second cat to help us cat. 1.

# ? Mar 28, 2018 23:51

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

# ? Mar 29, 2018 00:59

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

4 is too good of a comedy option to pass up.

# ? Mar 29, 2018 01:25

dont be mean to me: May 2, 2007; I'm interplanetary, bitch
Let's go to Mars

achtungnight posted:

#1. Help our brother cat out. Feline Unity!

# ? Mar 29, 2018 03:58

FAT BATMAN: Dec 12, 2009

It�s hard watching mommy and daddy fighting. I don�t know if a cat realistically would try to keep them together, but I want them to work it out.

# ? Mar 29, 2018 04:13

Avalerion: Oct 19, 2012

Andre Wasn't thinking of course.

# ? Mar 29, 2018 06:57

Thesaya: May 17, 2011; I am a Plant.

Of course the bumbling fool wasn't thinking, just like when he tried to feed only one of the cats in front of the other, or when he left us in a box for ages.

# ? Mar 30, 2018 07:54

SimplyUnknown1: Aug 18, 2017; Cat Cat Cat

Ok, no one wanted space or to be the only cat, and only three of us wanted Andre to set the house on fire for us. What 8 of us agreed on is that Andre doesn't think.

quote:

But when Andre finds his voice, what he actually says is "That's not fair! How many animal-rights protests have I been to? With and without you! If I know an animal is suffering, I wouldn't keep it in that situation deliberately. Ever!" He sounds genuinely hurt.

Claire's shoulders slump. "I'm sorry," she says. "On both counts. I know you have stresses of your own, and that you care as much as I do about animals. It's just this thing with Maddox�we agreed�" She pauses like she's going to add something, but then thinks better of it. "Please just remember next time, OK?"

Andre brushes her arm as she turns to leave the room. "Hey. I am really sorry, love. It was a genuine mistake. Good luck for the meeting, OK?"

Claire gives a weak smile and says, "Thanks."

As Claire pads away across the hallway, you look up at Andre, then out toward the stairway and Claire's retreating form. Her important Skype call is about to start.

-Trot after her. She really needs my help on this.
-Stay down here to defend against Maddox if he comes back to encroach on my territory.
-Stay down here to help Maddox if he comes back for food or aid again.
-Join Claire and use the call to my own advantage.

Ok, so things appear to be ok for now. But what do we do now?

1. Trot after her. She really needs my help on this.
2. Stay down here to defend against Maddox if he comes back to encroach on my territory.
3. Stay down here to help Maddox if he comes back for food or aid again.
4. Join Claire and use the call to my own advantage.

quote:

Cat Treats Acquired: 2
Mice Hunted: 0
Contempt: 37% Affection: 63%
Audacious: 52% Cautious: 48%
Manipulative: 59% Demanding: 41%
Self-Interested: 54% Loyal: 46%
Feral: 53% Domesticated: 47%
Fun-Loving: 55% Comfort-Seeking: 45%
Logical: 43% Intuitive: 57%
Claire's Dislike: 33% Claire's Like: 67%
Andre's Dislike: 35% Andre's Like: 65%
Moon: is intrigued by you.
Bene: is your friend.
Maddox: doesn't care about you.

# ? Mar 30, 2018 22:30

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

Trot after Claire to help

# ? Mar 30, 2018 22:38

achtungnight: Oct 5, 2014; I get my fun here. Enjoy!

Stay downstairs to help Maddox. Cats of the World Unite! Scratch the Furniture!

# ? Mar 30, 2018 22:41

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Stay to help.

# ? Mar 30, 2018 22:44

Slaan: Mar 16, 2009; ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

We need every advantage

# ? Mar 30, 2018 22:45

VivaLa Eeveelution: Apr 3, 2011

Slaan posted:

We need every advantage

Let the meowchinations commence.

# ? Mar 31, 2018 05:00

Avalerion: Oct 19, 2012

Use Claire. We'll look after Maddox and all other brethen once cats are in charge.

# ? Mar 31, 2018 20:27

SapientCorvid: Jun 16, 2008; reading The Internet

Trot after Claire and be a dope cat

# ? Apr 1, 2018 21:51

SimplyUnknown1: Aug 18, 2017; Cat Cat Cat

Ok, no one wanted to defend our territory from Maddox, because we would probably be beaten to a pulp. There were two votes each for trotting after Claire and helping Maddox, but using the meeting to our own advantage won with 3 votes. So let's get to that meeting!

quote:

"Hey, my little lucky charm," Claire says with a smile as you enter her study. There is an odd side effect to this room's natural state of disarray. The chaos of paper, books, and shelves doubles as a sort of urban camouflage for domesticated animals. It takes you several seconds to notice the splayed-out, lounging dog near the table with the printer. Claire's greeting makes him shake himself awake.

-I hiss at him maniacally to demand he get lost.
-I politely communicate a fiction about Andre and Moon needing him urgently.
-If I acknowledge his presence, he'll be more well disposed toward me.
-I trot over playfully and rub my head along his belly affectionately.

Ok, so how do we react to Bene here? Do we:

1. I hiss at him maniacally to demand he get lost.
2. I politely communicate a fiction about Andre and Moon needing him urgently.
3. If I acknowledge his presence, he'll be more well disposed toward me.
4. I trot over playfully and rub my head along his belly affectionately.

quote:

Cat Treats Acquired: 2
Mice Hunted: 0
Contempt: 37% Affection: 63%
Audacious: 52% Cautious: 48%
Manipulative: 59% Demanding: 41%
Self-Interested: 56% Loyal: 44%
Feral: 53% Domesticated: 47%
Fun-Loving: 55% Comfort-Seeking: 45%
Logical: 43% Intuitive: 57%
Claire's Dislike: 33% Claire's Like: 67%
Andre's Dislike: 35% Andre's Like: 65%
Moon: is intrigued by you.
Bene: is your friend.
Maddox: doesn't care about you.

# ? Apr 1, 2018 22:18

dont be mean to me: May 2, 2007; I'm interplanetary, bitch
Let's go to Mars

4. If he wants to help....

# ? Apr 1, 2018 22:22

achtungnight: Oct 5, 2014; I get my fun here. Enjoy!

Rub our friend�s belly!

# ? Apr 1, 2018 22:26

Slaan: Mar 16, 2009; ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

Well. I guess we can acknowledge the big oaf

# ? Apr 1, 2018 23:27

VivaLa Eeveelution: Apr 3, 2011

2. Bene, the children need you.

# ? Apr 2, 2018 00:13

SapientCorvid: Jun 16, 2008; reading The Internet

be a cat that likes dogs because cats that like dogs are dope. 4.

# ? Apr 2, 2018 04:42

Avalerion: Oct 19, 2012

Belly rub.

# ? Apr 2, 2018 06:06

Gwaint: Oct 22, 2010; "Music is the truth. Just listen..."

WHO WANTS TUMMY RUBS

# ? Apr 2, 2018 12:26

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# ? May 5, 2024 09:07

Decoy Badger: May 16, 2009

BELLY RUB

But scratch if anyone attempts to rub back!

# ? Apr 2, 2018 15:58

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > Help! I've turned into a Cat! Let's Play Choice of the Cat!

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