slouch posted:

this was probably a dumb idea
FACEBOOK LINK CLICK HERE! ALL ACTIVITY ON MY PAGE IMPROVES FACEBOOK ALGORITHM RANKING.



_{this is me}

greetings friends. my name is richard wolf. perhaps you've seen me white noise posting in the trimp thread where i like to empty quote bad jokes and defend mark zuckerburg. after two years of watching a racist dumbass campaign for and somehow win the presidency, ive been slowly growing more and more miserable. and then with this whole tax cut thing (and the inevitable slashing of whats left of our social safety net) looming over the horizon ive started to get angry. there was nothing i could do, though. im just loser failson who listens to podcasts while playing video games all day. i had nothing to offer, no unique skills, no special abilities, no connections - nothing.

but now ive seen political support for literal child molestor and 2 time state supreme court reject Roy Moore come back into his sails like nothing has happened. this broke my brain entirely

nothing matters. literally any rear end in a top hat can run for a political position and win. being under-qualified doesn't matter. being a criminal and a liar doesn't matter. hell you can be completely and totally unlikable seems to be a positive in a lot of peoples minds. there's nothing that can stop me from at least giving it a shot. so i asked my father for enough money to get on my state house of representatives ballot and just went for it. and now im doing what i do best (?) and talking about it on the internet.

The District
im in the campaign for texas house district 63 against republican Tan Parker
as you can see from that link, Tanny Boy has gone uncontested since 2014. his last democratic challenger got slightly less than 15% of the vote. my district is best characterized as a combination of rural farmland and wealthy DFW suburbanites. even though the demographics and voting history of this area go strongly against any democratic candidate - especially a young 20 something lefty college dropout - i am definitely 100% sure that i could win this election in a 20+ point landslide. lol

The Opponent
tan parker is an rear end in a top hat, plain and simple. he is currently the chairman of the texas house of representatives republican caucus so every vile piece of legislation that flows out of there has his fingers on it. otherwise he seems to try and keep a low profile. the biggest legislative knocks against him are his interests in 1. cutting taxes and liabilities for private / charter schools, taking money out of the public school system. 2. being extremely anti-union in a state where union membership is already very low. here's a bill to make it more difficult for teachers and other public employees to contribute to workers organizations. it does include an exception for police officers though. and this bizarre one which makes it so that minors need parental permission to join an organized labor union. and 3. his strong anti-abortion stance. _{though he did recently get into a bit of controversy by prioritizing a bill to give nascar free money over some anti abortion legislation which was funny.} he is also a member of the house redistricting committee which recently got in trouble for "diluting minority votes" through gerrymandering. and then of course his donors are mostly energy companies and insurance companies but that's just par for the course.

The Platform
i'm still in the process of writing out and properly explaining what i think would be good texan policy for my website and facebook pages. here's the short list of basic stuff though









faqs

Q: isnt it a bad idea to talk about your campaign on a dumb internet forum? isnt this bad for your electability?
A: yes its probably a bad idea but i dont think it really matters anymore. decorum is over. professionalism will not hold me back from my true passion. (posting)

Q:is there another democratic primary candidate?
A: yeah but she seems nice and i don't know her platform very well. we both declared and registered yesterday so there's not much for me to say! i dont want to invite any potential negativity to my primary opponent

Q:whats the point of this thread?
A:i think it will be a fun way to keep track of my experience and workshop ideas. i can talk about my experience being a candidate, what its like to work with local party people, campaign finance poo poo. all of that stuff. plus i can toxx myself to make sure i dont become a lazy bum and give up campaigning to play video games all day

currently on my agenda:
1 - finish setting up everything i need to submit my campaign finance reports. this will probably not be hard done
2 - create an official website, facebook, and twitter account (yes i made a thread before getting this done. meeting with digital team this week and should be able to get this stuff rolling by end of week)
3 - set up with Act Blue to easily manage campaign donati-ahahaha done
4 - block walking with other candidates. gotta gain experience knocking on peoples doors and telling them the good news.
5 - much much more!!!


feel free to ask me anytghing or call me a cuck. whatever works

people asked to donate but i dont recommend it. if you dont listen to me click this image

Grand Prize Winner posted:

in proud lf tradition you should spend it on really nice pants

slouch posted:

i believe this is illegal too. not sure 100% but paid advertisements sound like an in-kind donation which has to be reported like regular cash donations

Rigged Death Trap posted:

Invest in a tshirt cannon
Load it with bags of weed and prime them with cocaine

slouch posted:

my opponents platform is, "i was a republican who didn't do politics stuff until donald john tramp got elected and then i switched to hillary." she also doesn't seem to be super well versed in policy or politics in general. she's fairly agreeable with whatever other democrats are saying, supports LGBTQ+ in a generic but sincere way, hasn't said anything about abortion. so far not much has come up from her policy wise.

as far as why i'm better - i know more about policy and legislation than she does, i'm willing to do and say the wild leftist poo poo that she wouldn't try, and i wouldn't be walking into the job with four decades of conservative ideology hiding in the back of my brain

ScrubLeague posted:

this is insanely good i feel like i need to give you more money

Squizzle posted:

is it illegal collusion if we have a pac supporting the wolfman, that is managed thru cspam

what if it had its own thread and richard promised to they not to read it

Agean90 posted:

you should start calling weed prohibition yankee horseshit imo

Taintrunner posted:

when you win just say you owe it all to strong new york values

Squizzle posted:

GOOGLE WOLF, DICK

Comrayn posted:

see if you can do an interview with infowars

bob dobbs is dead posted:

the most r/me_irl political candidate anywhere

Squizzle posted:

would the billboard be hilarious or no

Venuz Patrol posted:

brilliant cspam political scientist invents business cards

tower time posted:

I want to quash any and all reports that candidate Richard Wolfe's health is in any way compromised. ANYONE who has been outside in Denton during a late January knows that it is normal for the sweltering heat to cause you to vomit blood, the alarmist media reports. I normally play outdoor summer hoops and it was too hot even for a stroll.

The Saucer Hovers posted:

If the MIC thing is true loving lol

Sojenus posted:

this is the billboard content i crave

Weeping Wound posted:

slouch posted:

im currently in the process of booking a horse for a photoshoot with a real photographer. yes im going to ride the horse with a bong and a really big gun

Comrayn posted:

please do not conflate the noble tradition of shitposting with online racism

slouch posted:

working on it still. a lot of local horse owners find the idea amusing but are either uncomfortable with the gun spooking their horse or do not want to be associated with the bong.

for those that want proof of the billboard heres a camera phone picture i got. because its a big old screen the refresh rate of the image does not play nicely with my smartphone's camera and it is difficult to get the whole thing visible in a single photo. sorry this took so long i've just been pretty busy these last couple days.



also a local paper covered the debate i did recently and kind of misrepresented my gun control opinion but that's fine
https://www.lewisvilletexan.com/news/community/elections/democratic-candidates-hold-debates-in-highland-village-saturday/

Comrayn posted:

Facebook mom posts are going to get so good if you win the primary

Sheng-Ji Yang posted:

for the record it appears that dick wolf is going with a full denial in his first political scandal. smart politics, even if its clearly a lie

https://twitter.com/_richardwolf/status/968970527770636289

ScrubLeague posted:

also in dsa and all in for the dick man

i'm glad this thread got a lot more posts but unfortunately it's just more regional dsa infighting which sucks i hope you win the thing woflman i would vote for you but it's illegal

Friend posted:

whatever happens I'm proud of you mr. wolf