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Greetings, comrades. As we work toward our Great Revolt, I have been authorized by the CSPAM censor to review Christmas songs for their ideological content and overall suitability for the new order. I encourage all of you who feel an interest to clear it with the CSPAM censor REDACTED, and then post holiday songs ITT and grade them by criteria that the censor will issue you. Remember comrades! The people themselves must craft their own ideological destiny! Jingle Bells This song is curious, as though it is associated with Christmas, both secular and religious, it mentions neither. In fact, it is about dashing through the snow, in a one horse open sleigh. Ideological markers: Written in America in the 1850s, it does assume a certain richer viewpoint, as the people in the song are wealthy enough to afford horses and fast sleighs. Purge or not Purge: Not Purge. It doesn't even mention Christmas, let alone the many capitalist hegemonic practices within it. All I Want for Christmas is You A pop song of gross infamy, this was Mariah Carey's attempt to suck the remaining sanity out of retail workers at Christmas. Referencing the 1950s musically, the ultimate good ol' days for White People who were not poor, this song is a brand on the face of a singer of once-great talents, reminding all of us of the corrupting nature of fame, that even a woman of otherworldly beauty and singing talents can be rendered into commercial dross. It's like learning John Lennon composed Disco Duck. OTHER CRIMES: lyrics that repeat themselves and say nothing; much, much too long - it slops and chugs like a great train of holiday misery, the only blessing being its forward motion takes you closer to its end. Ideological markers: The entire song reduces the most intimate of human relationships to the material, the wanting to posses someone. People are not objects, Ms. Carey. That's capitalism. PURGE OR NOT PURGE: PURGE. To be kept as a educational example and for the gulags. I mean it's not like anybody else has Carey's five octave range, anyway, who else can sing in the dogs only frequency the song requires? Good King Wenceslas A carol written about the charity of a Bohemian king Wenceslas in the 1850s - inspired by the live of a 10th century Bohemian Saint who later inspired worship. The tune is much older, coming from "Tempus adest floridum" ("The time is near for flowering") a Finnish Dance tune from the 13th century. It is also regarded as poo poo by those that study Christmas carols. quote:Academics tend to be critical of Neale's textual substitution. H. J. L. J. Massé wrote in 1921: I wanted to make a case for it for having a king helping a beggar, but I'm sorry, if Ralph Vaughan Williams says it is poo poo, then we have to listen. PURGE OR NOT PURGE: Purge. I cannot in good conscience say it would be better than a Christmas song involving the Guardians of the Galaxy, one of the Censor's rules. (#16) Nebakenezzer has issued a correction as of 00:23 on Dec 18, 2017 |
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Dec 18, 2017 00:19
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They distract us with sleigh bells While they poison us with chemtrails Their cover's been blown The truth will be known 9/11 was an inside job Bush told Iraq don't burn the oilfields All while they held their backroom deals Their lies just don't jive bin Laden's really alive 9/11 was an inside job We need to steal the vital cables Showing they've been killing people poor and brown Who are you leaking to we'll say Snowden The Ruskies offered safe harbor out of town Ignore the lies spun through the news They'll never educate us about the Timecube Forever we'll fight After a big bowl of chili tonight 9/11 was an inside job
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Dec 18, 2017 00:37
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someone pointed out to me that Its Cold Outside is significantly less rapey in its original time period because the girl is pretending to put up a fight because she cant just be like hell yeah lets gently caress because she has to Preserve Her Virtue song's sitll hella rapey in 2017 tho
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Dec 18, 2017 00:39
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All Christmas music is counterrevolutionary bourgeois sentimentalism, which I assert due to my impeccable understanding of the immortal science of Marxism-Leninism and not at all because I fuckin hate it all.
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Dec 18, 2017 02:31
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Carol is a good poster and I have no criticism
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Dec 18, 2017 02:46
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BENGHAZI 2 posted:someone pointed out to me that Its Cold Outside is significantly less rapey in its original time period because the girl is pretending to put up a fight because she cant just be like hell yeah lets gently caress because she has to Preserve Her Virtue Every version that I've heard lately switches the female and male singers' lines and it becomes significantly less rapey.
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Dec 18, 2017 04:13
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i'm glad that of all the poo poo jobs i've worked i never did time in holiday retail, listening to this crap for a month straight would be the end of me
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Dec 18, 2017 04:43
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I like Eartha Kitt but hate Santa Baby.
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Dec 18, 2017 06:12
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Santa Claus is Coming to Town should escape the purge because it inculcates a sense of trust and benevolence towards the secret police They see you when you're sleeping They know when you're awake
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Dec 18, 2017 07:02
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op is wrong about Jingle Bells, it was written by a future confederate officer for the express purpose of being performed at minstrel shows definitely PURGE
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Dec 18, 2017 08:01
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tll5vf1NI3k
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Dec 18, 2017 08:24
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hoNIIu_n-Io
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Dec 18, 2017 08:26
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if a xmas song has at any point been in latin you should learn the latin version
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Dec 18, 2017 13:47
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adestw fideles, laeti triumphantes, venite venite in bethlehem natum videte, regem angelorum venite adoremus venite adoremus venite adoremus dominus!!!!
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Dec 18, 2017 13:54
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Feliz navidad
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Dec 18, 2017 13:56
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It is barely acceptable to listen, once, to "You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch," given the heavy criticisms of capital inherent in the lyrics and also because Thurl Ravenscroft has an amazing voice (though everyone always mistakes him for narrator Boris Karloff).
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Dec 18, 2017 14:26
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Captain_Maclaine posted:It is barely acceptable to listen, once, to "You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch," given the heavy criticisms of capital inherent in the lyrics and also because Thurl Ravenscroft has an amazing voice (though everyone always mistakes him for narrator Boris Karloff). its tony the tiger
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Dec 18, 2017 14:32
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zeal posted:i'm glad that of all the poo poo jobs i've worked i never did time in holiday retail, listening to this crap for a month straight would be the end of me I once worked (for the privilege of receiving jobseekers allowance) at Asda one December. There is nothing more cheering than working for Walmart's profits and knowing the government is also paying them for generously allowing you to reduce their overtime costs. The Christmas music helped a lot and now I love capitalism.
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Dec 18, 2017 14:45
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Mayor Dave posted:op is wrong about Jingle Bells, it was written by a future confederate officer for the express purpose of being performed at minstrel shows Thank you Comrade, it's for this reason we involve citizens Captain_Maclaine posted:It is barely acceptable to listen, once, to "You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch," given the heavy criticisms of capital inherent in the lyrics and also because Thurl Ravenscroft has an amazing voice (though everyone always mistakes him for narrator Boris Karloff). Agreed, also  at the Thurl Ravenscroft fact(also also at the name Thurl Ravenscroft)zeal posted:i'm glad that of all the poo poo jobs i've worked i never did time in holiday retail, listening to this crap for a month straight would be the end of me I will admit this is the origin of the thread: me experiencing the hate crime of music that is "All I want for Christmas is you" over and over again
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Dec 18, 2017 15:52
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Fairytale of New York must be expunged from the xmas records due to being complete poo poo.
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Dec 18, 2017 15:57
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Thurl Ravenscroft should have formed a Metal band with Christopher Lee
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Dec 18, 2017 16:00
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Nebakenezzer posted:Agreed, also Yeah, that he was a successful voice actor rather than some dark ages warlord and/or Bond villain seems a borderline criminal waste of such an awesome name.
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Dec 18, 2017 18:26
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Captain_Maclaine posted:Yeah, that he was a successful voice actor rather than some dark ages warlord and/or Bond villain seems a borderline criminal waste of such an awesome name. Effete Victorian scholar.
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Dec 18, 2017 18:32
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"We Three Kings" must be purged for a litany of reasons, the most egregious line being: "Westward leading, still proceeding Guide us to thy perfect light"
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Dec 18, 2017 18:38
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River Joni Michell's melancholy Christmas song where she wishes to flee her current capitalist servitude and remembers her lost love. Ideological Markers: None PURGE OR NOT PURGE: Not Purge, good song, classic example of good songwriting Little St. Nick On the really really opposite end of the spectrum here's a cut from the Beach Boys goddamn Christmas album, Little St. Nick. CRIMES: Has a lyric of offensive banality, "Christmas comes this time each year", and I'm sorry, we didn't guillotine more people than I can recall for that sorry bullshit. IDEOLOGICAL MARKERS: The lyrics of the Beach Boys tend to be about how awesome hot girls are, and cool cars, anyway, so just recasting that shtick into "Santa" is either so generic as to avoid all crimes or just a big red mark through the whole thing. PURGE OR NOT PURGE: Purge for aesthetic reasons alone. Jingle Bell Rock Written by 1950s ad men, this hallmark turd of the holiday season has been generating revenue ever since. CRIMES: Being created purely as a cash in on Christmas. IDEOLOGICAL MARKERS: Aside from its creation and existence? None, really, it's pretty generic. They do have a rhyme "dancing and prancing", though PURGE OR NOT PURGE: Purge. [Exception - it is used very well in Saint's Row IV: the Saints save Christmas, there it may remain.]
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Dec 18, 2017 19:59
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I assume Christmas in Hollis is allowed to survive the purge once every ad agency gets it out of their systems?
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Dec 18, 2017 23:55
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 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbeaBEX-x2M
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Dec 19, 2017 01:26
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isn't biblical jesus' canon birthday actually much closer to halloween than christmas
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Dec 19, 2017 01:28
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Anime Schoolgirl posted:isn't biblical jesus' canon birthday actually much closer to halloween than christmas the bible never gives a date but it's implied to be in spring iirc
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Dec 19, 2017 01:36
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