- little munchkin
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"There is no such thing as an absolute morality," I begin. "You are merely a girl, and the fact that you even have a concept of a good girl and a bad girl only goes to show how primitive your brain is."
My dog, Gwendoline, wags her tail thoughtfully for a moment. Then, in a display of submission, she rolls over and presents her belly for a scratch.
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Dec 23, 2017 16:42
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 28, 2024 16:21
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- little munchkin
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It's funny how when you have a bone, you're a capitalist. Yet when I'm eating dinner, you're a socialist. Your morality is as blatantly self-serving as the licking of your own genitals that you do each night.
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Dec 23, 2017 17:05
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- alnilam
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You spend so much time and energy chasing the squirrel, but when you catch up to it, what will you do then? I know you, dog. I see no killer in you. So, why do you chase?
*dog cocks head and wags tail*
Your silence can't protect you forever. Think on it, dog. You needn't tell me when you have found an answer, but for your own sake, I hope you do.
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Dec 23, 2017 17:26
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- Weltlich
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Why do you jump in the pond like it the most fulfilling thing that you could ever do, yet you hide when I tell you it is time for a bath?
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Dec 23, 2017 18:03
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- Tik Tok Tommy
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"You see, it is because of the latent fear of mortality that man feels such an indeterminate urge to express himself creatively. Whether you deem art, or a particular rendition of an artist's to be vile, it makes no difference because it exists without you and will continue to long after you are gone."
Oh wait, why did I address this letter to you? You are not a man.
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Dec 25, 2017 05:14
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- Tik Tok Tommy
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Guess I got myself, there!
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Dec 25, 2017 05:14
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- Molestationary Store
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WE'RE BREAKING MY DOGS CONDITIONING
HURAAAAAGGGGGHHHH
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Dec 25, 2017 06:41
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- FutonForensic
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A friend to all is a friend to none! "Man's best friend?" Man's best harlot, more like! I'll not be seduced.
* the pug casually slips off a bra strap *
Lord help me, I am but a man
 
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Dec 25, 2017 17:04
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- lmbo calrissian
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i'm into fashion
men are my passion
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A friend to all is a friend to none! "Man's best friend?" Man's best harlot, more like! I'll not be seduced.
* the pug casually slips off a bra strap *
Lord help me, I am but a man
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Dec 25, 2017 20:57
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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A friend to all is a friend to none! "Man's best friend?" Man's best harlot, more like! I'll not be seduced.
* the pug casually slips off a bra strap *
Lord help me, I am but a man
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Dec 26, 2017 02:48
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- Macnult
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Yes dog, you're a 'good' boy - good at obeying a command because you know you'll most likely receive a treat. What good is that?
*dog licks nose and looks adorable*
[Handing a treat] What are you actually good for?
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Dec 26, 2017 08:23
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- Randaconda
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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I tried to do this to my cat and she just kinda looked at me as if to say "Nice attempt, human." and then she rubbed her face on my leg.
I.....I think I just got owned...owned by my own cat. 
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Dec 26, 2017 20:07
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- Harold Fjord
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"If I had actually thrown the ball, you would have expected it to make a sound, wouldn't you? QED you stupid rear end in a top hat."
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Dec 30, 2017 00:58
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- Harold Fjord
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I tried to do this to my cat and she just kinda looked at me as if to say "Nice attempt, human." and then she rubbed her face on my leg.
I.....I think I just got owned...owned by my own cat.
Sometimes I try to offer my cats apples to eat. I take bites and shove them into their face and insist they try it, repeatedly. I wonder if they can tell I'm just doing it to gently caress with them, I know they don't like apples.
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Dec 30, 2017 01:00
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 28, 2024 16:21
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Dec 23, 2017 16:42
