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I’ve been working on this for a while. Turns out, having a baby is exhausting and you’re lucky if you have time to eat a microwave burrito for a while. I actually prepared the chilies like a week ago during an incredibly rare baby nap that took place WITHOUT me holding him the entire time... and then my kid woke up, so I didn’t get to finish the job until tonight. And it’s still not quite done— the chili is in the crockpot now. I have no idea how this is gonna turn out. Please bear in mind that the pictures ARE very explicit and DO depict blood, human placenta, meat preparation, and frank discussion of what human meat tastes like. Also, this is CHILI, not beef stew, and it does NOT contain beans or tomatoes or sugar. It might not be as red as I’d like it, though, because I had to lean pretty heavy on the anchos. Click on through for pics.   Seriously, there’s a human placenta in here.
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Dec 28, 2017 09:21
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Wow. Hope you had come chianti to wash it down.
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Dec 28, 2017 09:58
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i actually do know people who eat their placenta but i don't think they made it into chili so i'm both horrified and intrigued e: 
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Dec 28, 2017 10:01
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Chili has human bean in it
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Dec 28, 2017 10:03
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 this is horrifying but weirdly amazing
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Dec 28, 2017 10:13
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Korgan posted:Chili has human bean in it
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Dec 28, 2017 10:16
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Holy poo poo wow. You did it. I'm impressed and a little horrified, less because it's human meat and more because it's a placenta.
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Dec 28, 2017 10:17
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Dec 28, 2017 10:22
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Dec 28, 2017 10:23
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Dec 28, 2017 10:38
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Also, you named your son Kepler 
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Dec 28, 2017 10:47
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Hooray! Can’t wait for the final review!
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Dec 28, 2017 11:05
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Should have done it in lasagna!
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Dec 28, 2017 11:07
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You did it. Holy crap. Can’t wait for the final result
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Dec 28, 2017 11:11
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Congrats you're officially a cannibal. Popular media now tells me you will develop an insatiable taste and start killing to get your fix. I think the way people usually do this is to get it dried and turned into pills or something right?
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Dec 28, 2017 11:12
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they also make Chinese herbal soup with it
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Dec 28, 2017 11:23
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I held my breath and only breathed when scrolling between pictures. Redder and more beef-looking than I thought, but... 
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Dec 28, 2017 11:53
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I don't like this. Please keep posting.
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Dec 28, 2017 12:23
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This is super duper cool  I admit, one of the things I was most curious about was the texture, although "grainy and springy" doesn't make it seem as though I'm missing much. Maybe after it's simmered overnight it'll be better?
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Dec 28, 2017 14:48
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Does it really make you a cannibal if you're eating your own placenta though
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Dec 28, 2017 15:27
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Millow posted:Does it really make you a cannibal if you're eating your own placenta though Auto-cannibalism is still cannibalism dammit.
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Dec 28, 2017 15:29
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I think that hospital has broken you.
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Dec 28, 2017 15:44
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elise the great posted:Please bear in mind that the pictures ARE very explicit and DO depict blood, human placenta, meat preparation, and frank discussion of what human meat tastes like. Awesome job, Elise!
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Dec 28, 2017 15:56
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I... Think I want to applaud you? Nevertheless, just imagine my avatar as my expression. I mean, to be fair, the texture just doesn't plain look good for a chilli. Surely it'd be better as a component in a sausage.
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Dec 28, 2017 16:14
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Bottom floor of greatness, here I am. elise you're a goddamn hero
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Dec 28, 2017 16:22
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Dropping in from the healthcare thread to witness Elise becoming a legend in yet another forum. I enjoyed the write up, especially the phrase "you can't miss the fact that's it's human placenta". Like if you gave the chilli to anyone they'd immediately go 'eww, there's human placenta in this!'
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Dec 28, 2017 16:33
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Samovar posted:Surely it'd be better as a component in a sausage. Dear god. My first is due in June, I'm going to see if I can convince my wife to let me make some brat-centa.
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Dec 28, 2017 16:34
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Sandwich Anarchist posted:Dear god. My first is due in June, I'm going to see if I can convince my wife to let me make some brat-centa. And serve it up to your customers?
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Dec 28, 2017 16:35
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Millow posted:Does it really make you a cannibal if you're eating your own placenta though Well the baby grew inside you too but it's still cannibalism to eat it. Same deal
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Dec 28, 2017 16:40
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Sandwich Anarchist posted:
quoted for posterity
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Dec 28, 2017 16:42
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chitoryu12 posted:And serve it up to your customers? Only the freshest local ingredients
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Dec 28, 2017 16:47
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chitoryu12 posted:I think that hospital has broken you. It probably says a lot about my that my main thoughts were "is a biohazard bag a good freezer container? Did the placenta get freezer burned?". (I'm assuming it was frozen since it's been sitting around for three months. If not...  )
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Dec 28, 2017 16:51
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Lunchmeat Larry posted:Well the baby grew inside you too but it's still cannibalism to eat it. Same deal Could you legally harvest stem cells from an unborn baby for fun and profit?
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Dec 28, 2017 16:54
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Elise, you're an angel in heavy disguise and I appreciate your commitment to posting Good poo poo. Hi to all the future goons reading this from the goldmine!
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Dec 28, 2017 16:59
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Why, why would you do this?
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Dec 28, 2017 17:09
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Dec 28, 2017 17:10
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Dec 28, 2017 17:45
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I'm at a loss for words. Thanks for posting this Elise.
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Dec 28, 2017 17:47
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Dec 28, 2017 17:49
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Sandwich Anarchist posted:Also, you named your son Kepler For the astronomer! :3 bike tory posted:Congrats you're officially a cannibal. Popular media now tells me you will develop an insatiable taste and start killing to get your fix. The flavor hasn’t made a regular customer of me yet. I can see why it’s typically encapsulated, and I shake my head in awe at the women who make smoothies of it raw. Millow posted:Does it really make you a cannibal if you're eating your own placenta though Technically there’s some of my kid’s tissue involved too, so I’m like... an infanto-auto-cannibal Samovar posted:I mean, to be fair, the texture just doesn't plain look good for a chilli. Surely it'd be better as a component in a sausage. It definitely wouldn’t be good as the primary meat in a chili. I’m basically treating it like chicken liver— I expect it to lose structural integrity and provide a nuance of flavor. The texture of regular chili seems to work well with it, although sausage is an excellent idea, and it might do well in a Filipino-style “chocolate pork” presentation. jabby posted:Dropping in from the healthcare thread to witness Elise becoming a legend in yet another forum. It might take a bit to piece it together. The flavor is very bloody and liver-y, but that birth-bed smell is pretty strong. The human-ness is diminished somewhat by cooking, though, so you might get the placenta part without guessing human. Haifisch posted:It probably says a lot about my that my main thoughts were "is a biohazard bag a good freezer container? Did the placenta get freezer burned?". (I'm assuming it was frozen since it's been sitting around for three months. If not... It was definitely frozen, and the biohaz bag did a great job! Mind you, there was almost no air in the bag and I double-bagged it with a ziploc, and I really did push the length of time that meat is usually good in the freezer, but at least it was frozen very fresh. Burt Sexual posted:Why, why would you do this? ...Why not?
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Dec 28, 2017 18:19
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