[Cyberpunk] The AI priest also told one user that it was okay to baptize a baby in Gatorade

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [Cyberpunk] The AI priest also told one user that it was okay to baptize a baby in Gatorade

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(Thread IKs: Platystemon)

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

Sheng-Ji Yang posted:

What is the blue line that has vertical lines going through it? The one that starts at around 12% and drops to around 4%?

PerniciousKnid posted:

Interesting that bar has become more popular. I would've guessed that would be the biggest casualty of the internet.

"Met at a bar" is probably the default lie for people who are embarrassed about having met online.

# ¿ Jul 13, 2019 18:05

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# ¿ May 10, 2024 18:03

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

what you said was wrong because scamming is not just scamming, who you�re scamming and for what reasons and what has driven you to do so all matter

Definitely not, Bernie Madoff scamming people just because his enormous pile of money wasn't quite enormous enough is exactly the same as someone applying for a job they don't qualify for just so they can eat that week.

# ¿ Jul 22, 2019 21:14

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

Shear Modulus posted:

if someone robs your house and then the same day another guy asks you for a buck to ride the bus then later you see him drinking a soda, do you want the cops to try and track down the burglar and get your stuff back or would you ask them to go after the guy who you think scammed a buck off you?

It depends; is the robber a job creator?

# ¿ Jul 22, 2019 21:40

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

ekuNNN posted:

It's like a playroom in Wristcutters.

# ¿ Jul 23, 2019 01:02

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

I'm honestly hoping some of the scooter guys end up murdering the rope truck guys.

Win-win.

# ¿ Jul 27, 2019 03:04

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

Main Paineframe posted:

what do you call it when the cyberpunk dystopia starts building cyberstalking services for helicopter parents? quadracopter parents?

the new hotness in the summer camp industry, apparently, is facial recognition services that alert parents immediately whenever a picture of their kid is taken so that they can always see what their kid is up to - and police the kid's experience

https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2019/08/08/summer-camps-turn-facial-recognition-parents-demand-more-smiles-please/

I mean... crazy parents and all... but $10,000 for loving summer camp?!

# ¿ Aug 9, 2019 18:24

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

mike12345 posted:

https://twitter.com/sevensixfive/status/1192273467720245248

No, see, their product isn't the rooms, their product is the listing service; they're just like a newspaper classified, it's the people selling the rooms whose product are the rooms, see. AirBNB has nothing to do with them, and no responsibility for them.

# ¿ Nov 8, 2019 02:18

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

Who could have possibly predicted that installing an internet-connected camera in your home would have a downside?

Ring camera installed in a children�s room for �peace of mind� is hacked, 8-year-old daughter harassed

quote:

In a chilling exchange caught on video last week, the LeMays say the man was able to interact with their daughter after hacking into a Ring security camera that had recently been installed in the bedroom shared by Alyssa and her two younger sisters. Over the course of several minutes, the man repeatedly directed a racial slur at Alyssa and tried to persuade her to misbehave, according to a copy of the video obtained by The Washington Post.

# ¿ Dec 16, 2019 09:11

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

Go read this New York Times expos� on smartphone location tracking because it�s worse than you think

quote:

As the Times story notes, the companies that collect this precise location data � a roster of unfamiliar names, aside from Foursquare � justify it by saying the practice is anonymous, the data collected is secure, and that people have consented to its collection. All of those claims are false. To prove it, Warzel and Thompson got in touch with individuals they�d identified in the dataset they were given. What�s more: the authors were working with an attenuated dataset. Firms, they write, typically use other sources of information along with location data. That includes mobile advertising IDs, which are combined with demographic information to create the detailed profiles needed to target ads.

�The data can change hands in almost real time, so fast that your location could be transferred from your smartphone to the app�s servers and exported to third parties in milliseconds,� Warzel and Thompson write. �This is how, for example, you might see an ad for a new car some time after walking through a dealership.� And then: �That data can then be resold, copied, pirated and abused. There�s no way you can ever retrieve it.�

# ¿ Dec 20, 2019 01:46

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

endlessmonotony posted:

Oh jesus you can't imagine anyone with half a brain watching goddamn 60 minutes meander on about New Thing Bad.

If smartphones being designed to cause this behavior makes it a smartphone problem then I have to congratulate whatever evil scientists invented a time machine to make the problem be as prevalent several decades before smartphones (probably centuries but I don't personally know).

It used to be TVs blaring some worthless garbage whatever space you were, hanging from the ceiling. In a room often filled with cigarette smoke but ALWAYS having that lovely wood paneling that looked like someone added a veneer to repurposed washboard.

Smartphones aren't even designed to encourage the problem they're designed to capitalize on the problem existing.

The core problem has nothing to do with smartphones it has everything to do with people being forced into schedules they can't keep up. The people you're describing aren't smartphone addicts they're bored and tired and just don't have the energy to engage with their surroundings. Smartphones are the solution du jour to wanting just something that feeds zero-effort content into your eyes so you're not forced to live with your thoughts and realize how miserable and tired you are.

I love technology, to the point that I even work in IT. Smartphones are a loving problem.

They're amazing devices, and the ability to have the collective knowledge of humanity at your fingertips at a moment's notice is incredible. But at the same time, they are designed to be incredibly addictive. There was a report I was watching awhile back that was talking to kids in classrooms about smartphone use, and the teachers were using bags with zipties for the phones, so the kids couldn't use them during the class but could still have them, and the kid was talking about how even though he couldn't use the thing, it was comforting just having it with him in the bag.

We're still in the relatively early stages of this stuff, and figuring out how to responsibly manage it should be a priority. We should be examining how they're being used, setting standards, and taking very seriously the privacy and addictiveness concerns, instead of just writing it off as "old man yells at cloud."

# ¿ Dec 20, 2019 20:37

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

Scrub-Niggurath posted:

I hope you realize that everything you’re describing as a problem with smartphones is a problem of the internet as a whole

Yuuuuuuuup.

Except when you leave the house, smartphones are how the internet follows you.

Like, most of us aren't saying "nobody should ever use smartphones/the internet;" we're saying that the technology is dangerous, and we need to come up with some cultural mores/regulation/health practices that address it. It's a serious problem that people aren't taking seriously.

# ¿ Dec 20, 2019 22:08

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

Main Paineframe posted:

in the days before smartphones i did poo poo like this all the time with books

it's got nothing to do with electronics, and everything to do with people not wanting to stand around and be bored when they have some mentally interesting thing that they can carry with them

you think newspapers aren't being manipulated by a team of experts trying to make it as desirable to read as possible? the real danger isn't the engineers, it's the editors and marketers

what you're not getting is that "trying to figure out how to make things as addictive as possible" isn't something that was only invented in 2005. it's been an integral part of basically every piece of media created in the last half-century (if not longer). just look at people with crippling addictions to poo poo like Transformers or Sonic the Hedgehog or Star Wars. the internet has made these people more visible, but they were made slaves of media decades ago

Newspapers were the equivalent of caffeine.

Smartphones are more like heroin.

# ¿ Dec 21, 2019 02:16

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIsXEkR5OVs

# ¿ Dec 31, 2019 08:38

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

Powered Descent posted:

Not to worry, I'm sure we'll all see such a show ourselves before long.

In fact, I'll go out on a limb and predict that soon drone shows will be everywhere. Football game? Drone show. Grand opening of a new Binny's? Drone show. Wedding reception? Drone show. Makerspace nerds will have competitions for who can do the most impressive DIY ones over their own yards, or you can just hire an out-of-the-box show from any company that provides party things like searchlights or those giant tents. We'll be sick to death of drone shows. They might even end up as an easy go-to image for the 2020s when it's time for retro nostalgia of our new decade, so we can all smile at how impressed we were at such a quaint thing.

In the post-climate-change drought-prone future, we'll probably have to replace fireworks with drone shows, just to avoid burning down whole continents.

# ¿ Jan 3, 2020 19:46

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

I got a call this morning early enough to wake me up from the billing department of my healthcare provider. I answered it, and it then put me on hold for three minutes, repeating the phrase "this is [healthcare provider] billing; please wait for the next available representative" over and over and over again.

I admit that I proceeded to spend a little less than twenty minutes yelling at the woman who picked up the phone and her supervisor. But gently caress those people.

# ¿ Jan 17, 2020 23:34

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

Trainee PornStar posted:

I've got a friend in his 70's just like you... I've told him multiple times its just 'old man shouting at the clouds' but he still does it.

The irony is lost on him lol

Towards the end of the call, the supervisor offered to remove my phone number entirely from their system. Good chance she was full of poo poo, but if not, mission accomplished.The real irony (and what I pointed out right before she offered that) is that I'm going to the medical provider in question for treatment of a sleep disorder. And they woke me up.

This is not a small medical provider, but it is a local one, and I confirmed that it was the provider and not a third-party hired by them at the start of the call.

# ¿ Jan 17, 2020 23:53

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

Trainee PornStar posted:

sorry for making light of your situation mate, sleep problems are no joke.

Pfff, no apology necessary. I'm definitely a cranky old man when I'm woken up (and in general). And it probably was shouting at clouds. But if I were designing a system to make people angry, "calling early in the morning then putting them on hold" seems way more effective than most things I would come up with. That poo poo should be illegal.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2020 00:05

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

Inceltown posted:

https://twitter.com/voxdotcom/status/1224822705054191616

"Huh, the gasoline Iowa poured on their fire didn't put it out; don't worry, we'll use kerosene in Nevada!"

# ¿ Feb 5, 2020 02:52

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

capitaldelendaest posted:

if i understand cat genetics right, male callies and torties are rare because they have to have two x chromosones to have both orange and black fur, making all male callies xxy! A fun fact to throw at people who don't understand that even sex alone can be more complex than xx vs xy

Oh uh content, time is a flat circle

https://www.cnet.com/news/nevada-democrats-said-to-have-new-caucus-tool-to-track-results/

Ahahahahahahahahah!

quote:

"NV Dems can confidently say that what happened in the Iowa caucus last night will not happen in Nevada," William McCurdy II wrote. "We will not be employing the same app or vendor used in the Iowa caucus."

Yes, Nevada will find completely new ways to gently caress up their caucus! It'll be nothing like Iowa!

# ¿ Feb 11, 2020 03:52

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

tangy yet delightful posted:

Legit question: should I have this if I'm not on FB ever or even with an active account?

I used to use Privacy Badger along with Ad Nauseam. Then Chrome pushed out their anti-adblocker build, so I switched to Brave.

It's really unfortunate that Ad Nauseam doesn't work on Brave, because that's some of the best adblocking there is; rather than just blocking ads, it blocks them and clicks on them. It means that according to the ad trackers, you click on literally everything. Google's list of my interests including things like childcare (I don't have a child) and country music (I hate country music).

To give you an idea of what a good strategy that is for defeating trackers: Google banned them from the app store. You have to use Developer Mode and install the extension as third-party to even get it working.

# ¿ Feb 19, 2020 02:23

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

Rooney McNibnug posted:

lol https://www.darkreading.com/risk/dell-sells-rsa-to-private-equity-firm-for-$21b/d/d-id/1337078

Time until it turns out the privately equity firm is owned by Saudi/Iranian/Chinese interests...?

# ¿ Feb 20, 2020 23:47

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

Koishi Komeiji posted:

https://twitter.com/Shitty_Future/status/1230606148253999127
Don't gently caress with a man wearing a cyberkilt�

That's definitely just an excuse for people to fondle their crotch in public.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2020 01:42

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

chairface posted:

I'm jerking it thinking of how many boomers will die

Coronavirus is gonna save Social Security and let us pass Medicare for All.

# ¿ Mar 5, 2020 00:05

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

Koishi Komeiji posted:

https://twitter.com/christapeterso/status/1236059552614760448
This is going to be one of the last things you see before you die.

I do not understand the bill people going into people's hospital rooms to try and get them to sign poo poo. I am in a terrible mood when I am sick, and I can't imagine just tolerating someone doing that to me, I would probably just start saying progressively more awful things to the person until they went away. There is literally nothing I can think of that I would feel bad about saying to someone like that, and I doubt I'd hesitate to do it to someone trying to get my credit card off of me while I'm in the loving hospital.

How the gently caress do we treat these people like they're human?

# ¿ Mar 8, 2020 20:52

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

FRINGE posted:

And real-Kissinger was better than Biden.

Richard Armitage is a piece of poo poo, but his decision to give the rendezvous coordinates for the navy to the salvaged refugee ships coming out of Vietnam as an "easier to ask for forgiveness than permission" choice is something he deserves a lot of credit for. I'm honestly shocked it didn't end his career.

# ¿ Mar 16, 2020 20:30

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

Tiler Kiwi posted:

a lot of benign data can get rather nasty when you can collate a lot of it and plot out correlations. advertisers of course love it but it could be used to do things like gently caress with your credit score, deny you job opportunities, raise your insurance rates, or face legal discrimination when some random combination of your butt temperature, favorite colored lights, and sneeze frequency thrown into a vat monitored by some trained algorithm is able you deduce your personality profile and statistical probability for various actions or vulnerability to persuasive tactics. And thats assuming its done competently: your life can still get wrecked when that data is instead combined with handwriting analysis by some dude named Stu Fyattburg II resulting in some unvetted learning algorithm deciding you're in the 99th percentile for being an insolvent pedophile witch doctor.

There was a woman being interviewed on NPR awhile back who was an academic researcher who said she had built an algorithm that could tell if someone was gay or not based upon their Facebook profile, even if they weren't out, with some ridiculous level of accuracy.

Don't know if it's true or not, but people are looking to do that poo poo. And something like that would be very easy to weaponize.

# ¿ Mar 22, 2020 09:12

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

Inceltown posted:

There are layers of bad in this

This should really be the official motto of 2020.

# ¿ Mar 27, 2020 08:29

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

Twelve dollar flavor pods?! Holy poo poo.

# ¿ Apr 4, 2020 02:14

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

Falun Gong are legitimately horribly persecuted in China, and the church members do not deserve that in any way, shape, or form.

They're also the Chinese equivalent of the Church of Scientology, and the world would be a better place if the incredible grift that they are didn't exist.

# ¿ Apr 6, 2020 20:22

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

Crusader posted:

https://twitter.com/christapeterso/status/1247274086297788416

Just wait until the biometric security companies get ahold of this technology.

# ¿ Apr 6, 2020 23:22

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

Lazyhound posted:

we're talking deep pockets here

"What the gently caress is Emu oil used for?" I ask myself...

quote:

Commercial emu oil supplements are not standardized and vary widely in their potency.[5] The U.S. Food and Drug Administration highlighted emu oils in a 2009 article on "How to Spot Health Fraud", pointing out that many "pure emu oil" products are unapproved drugs.

Ohhhhhh, it's a scam. Got it, that makes perfect sense to have as a Nascar sponsor.

# ¿ Apr 11, 2020 06:31

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

StashAugustine posted:

This is the cyberpunk thread; give it a few years

We're already there; those "buy here, pay here, no credit check necessary" car lots will put killswitches in the cars that they can hit remotely when the person stops paying. They'll then repossess the car. Many of the cars get sold/repossessed 5+ times, to say nothing of the usurious interest rates they charge. John Oliver did a thing on it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4U2eDJnwz_s

# ¿ Apr 13, 2020 21:47

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

Chomp8645 posted:

I am not willing to believe that 78.3% of the general population has working AC at home, much less just the poor. It cannot be correct. Its assertion does nothing but make me doubt the source.

I bet you they're including things like baseboard heating in "AC."

# ¿ May 4, 2020 22:46

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

Is the Tech Industry's New Dream for Remote Work Actually a Nightmare? Spoiler: Yes.

quote:

Business is booming for their subscription-based software, Miller said: Hundreds of companies a week, three times their normal interest, are now asking about using the employee surveillance tools. He called it �financially irresponsible� for companies not to keep a close eye on their employees� daily work and said managers �feel completely entitled to know what their workers are doing� if they�re allowed to log in from home.

�It�s silly to say, �I just trust them all,� and close my eyes and hope for the best,� he said. Some workers have grimaced at the surveillance, he added, but most should have nothing to hide: �If you�re uncomfortable with me confirming the obvious [about your work], what does that say about your motives?�

# ¿ May 6, 2020 10:23

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

Koishi Komeiji posted:

https://twitter.com/markgongloff/status/1258771456617521156
Huh, looks like this computer is saying let all the poors die. Oh well, sucks for them I guess. Can't argue with a computer

In fairness, if the inevitable result of The Algorithm is putting our dystopia in Logan's Run mode, it might be worth it.

# ¿ May 8, 2020 19:46

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

The Nastier Nate posted:

Can�t we at least neoliberalize some good board games? How about a reskinned Love Letter of female CEOs or Puerto Rico but all the colonists are gig workers.

Spirit Island is the game for you!

# ¿ May 11, 2020 00:35

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

Powered Descent posted:

Hatsune MeToo

Could someone please explain, for the geriatrics in the thread?

# ¿ May 12, 2020 07:28

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

Crusader posted:

https://twitter.com/lizbetballou/status/1262879366683537408

Wasn't the crazy Dean who was singing after refusing to give students refunds from NYU, too?

They're collectively loving losing it.

# ¿ May 20, 2020 20:52

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

Koishi Komeiji posted:

https://twitter.com/wyatt_privilege/status/1263644043902365703
Oh well, nothing could have been done to foresee or prevent this. And when you think about it, isn't it the fault of the poors for having their identity stolen in the first place? Guess ya'll gotta go back to work in the middle of a pandemic and we don't gotta pay unemployment anymore. Oh well. Sucks

I mean... this sure looks like damages from the Equifax breach to me. And guess who happens to have several billion dollars to pay for it?

# ¿ May 22, 2020 08:55

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# ¿ May 10, 2024 18:03

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

aphid_licker posted:

https://twitter.com/jamespmcleod/status/1263908732351598593

It's a shame that the employees don't have any leverage to negotiate over this.

# ¿ May 22, 2020 20:57

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [Cyberpunk] The AI priest also told one user that it was okay to baptize a baby in Gatorade

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