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balls
absolutely
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goku
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  • Locked thread
goethe.cx
Apr 23, 2014


who else is thinking of placing their balls on the rim of a toilet and slamming the seat down directly on top of them

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mind the walrus
Sep 22, 2006

I have never once felt an urge to do this and I am alarmed at the number of men who fantasize about it.

Kuato
Feb 25, 2005

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"
Buglord
I wish. In adddition to a micro penis I have tiny balls. I’ll just have to live through you vicariously op

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!

Kuato posted:

I wish. In adddition to a micro penis I have tiny balls. I’ll just have to live through you vicariously op

drat like they actually just fit between the toilet seat layers. :stare:

big nipples big life
May 12, 2014

You should slam your balls in the door for making a radio button poll OP.

i like that
May 22, 2016

by FactsAreUseless
Same op

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost
i thought about it but it seems like this would be painful and unpleasant????

Crespolini
Mar 9, 2014

pay 50 smackaroos for a sourly matron to pop 'em one with a mallet if you'll take my advice

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012

go in a very crowded bathroom and get in one of the stalls. take your pants completely off (but not your shoes) squat over the toilet and position your balls under the front of the seat, then slam the toilet seat on your balls. at this point you should scream "I JUST SLAMMED THE TOILET SEAT ON MY BALLS, OH MY GOD!" and run out the stall and the bathroom leaving your pants and underwear behind. a man with shirt and shoes but no pants, running, screaming

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012

that's how i would do it anyways

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!

Hell Yeah posted:

go in a very crowded bathroom and get in one of the stalls. take your pants completely off (but not your shoes) squat over the toilet and position your balls under the front of the seat, then slam the toilet seat on your balls. at this point you should scream "I JUST SLAMMED THE TOILET SEAT ON MY BALLS, OH MY GOD!" and run out the stall and the bathroom leaving your pants and underwear behind. a man with shirt and shoes but no pants, running, screaming

That’s why public toilets have that part cut out and the seats are horseshoe shaped, so people aren’t slammin their balls, reckon. :clint:

i like that
May 22, 2016

by FactsAreUseless
It really bothers me how OPs never include photos anymore. Where are the piccy's?

Beefeater
May 17, 2003

I'm hungry.
Hair Elf
I like my balls so no, but thanks for this thought provoking discussion friend.

MackAddie
Jul 10, 2001

I have soft close toilet seats to prevent this sort of thing, op.

Soup du Journey
Mar 20, 2006

by FactsAreUseless
I'm Goku and I say slam em all

spinderella
Jul 15, 2017

by FactsAreUseless
I am not.

However, if you do this slowly but very firmly, with ever increasing pressure until you think they may retain their flattened shape, you will have a good idea what a mammogram is like.

Kuato
Feb 25, 2005

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"
Buglord

Hell Yeah posted:

that's how i would do it anyways

Spoken like a man who actually did it as a matter of fact. Rly makes u think

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012

EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND SLAM MY BALLS IN SOMETHING. IT'S A TOILET SEAT AN

mind the walrus
Sep 22, 2006

Spinster posted:

I am not.

However, if you do this slowly but very firmly, with ever increasing pressure until you think they may retain their flattened shape, you will have a good idea what a mammogram is like.
Considering how many "tough girls" used to brag about the amount of pressure needed to pop a testicle in school, I'd rather not

Gay Weed Dad
Jul 12, 2016

cool dude, flyin' high
I keep my balls in a little birdcage just to keep things like this from happening, go gently caress yourself!

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012

Gay Weed Dad posted:

I keep my balls in a little birdcage just to keep things like this from happening, go gently caress yourself!

suck my birds

i like that
May 22, 2016

by FactsAreUseless

mind the walrus posted:

Considering how many "tough girls" used to brag about the amount of pressure needed to pop a testicle in school, I'd rather not

What happened?

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe
GET BEEFY OP!!!!!!

Im Ready for DEATH
Oct 5, 2016

Hell Yeah posted:

go in a very crowded bathroom and get in one of the stalls. take your pants completely off (but not your shoes) squat over the toilet and position your balls under the front of the seat, then slam the toilet seat on your balls. at this point you should scream "I JUST SLAMMED THE TOILET SEAT ON MY BALLS, OH MY GOD!" and run out the stall and the bathroom leaving your pants and underwear behind. a man with shirt and shoes but no pants, running, screaming

can the police arrest a man who has slammed a toilet seat on his balls? my friend wants to know.

spinderella
Jul 15, 2017

by FactsAreUseless

mind the walrus posted:

Considering how many "tough girls" used to brag about the amount of pressure needed to pop a testicle in school, I'd rather not

Speaking of popping a testicle:

By best friend ever, Rita the horse freak, was a vet tech in her early twenties. We were occasionally in touch and when she learned I needed to neuter a new cat offered to do it for free. She did it at her work all the time and would just bring the supplies she needed home and save me some money.

I drove to her place with my new kitty and watched apprehensively as she doused his ball area with Betadine in her dirty bathroom sink. She took a little knife and made tiny slits. Then she squeezed really hard with her fingers and swear to god there was a "snap" sound as these little white lima beans popped out of each tiny ballsack.

I can't remember what anesthetic she used but I was concerned because he was still slowly struggling to get away and making weird noises but she assured me he wasn't feeling actual pain.

They really looked just like pale baby lima beans attached to a white string in the sink bowl, and when it was over I picked them up and held them at my ears like dangling earrings and said, "This would give guys nightmares forever."

*cackle*

big nipples big life
May 12, 2014

My whole package just retreated into my body, I think it is hiding behind my lungs.

myDad
Jan 20, 2010

ce n'est pas ma mère
College Slice

Spinster posted:

Speaking of popping a testicle:

By best friend ever, Rita the horse freak, was a vet tech in her early twenties. We were occasionally in touch and when she learned I needed to neuter a new cat offered to do it for free. She did it at her work all the time and would just bring the supplies she needed home and save me some money.

I drove to her place with my new kitty and watched apprehensively as she doused his ball area with Betadine in her dirty bathroom sink. She took a little knife and made tiny slits. Then she squeezed really hard with her fingers and swear to god there was a "snap" sound as these little white lima beans popped out of each tiny ballsack.

I can't remember what anesthetic she used but I was concerned because he was still slowly struggling to get away and making weird noises but she assured me he wasn't feeling actual pain.

They really looked just like pale baby lima beans attached to a white string in the sink bowl, and when it was over I picked them up and held them at my ears like dangling earrings and said, "This would give guys nightmares forever."

*cackle*

Jfc

myDad
Jan 20, 2010

ce n'est pas ma mère
College Slice
Men: lol what if i smashed my balls in the toilet seat

Women: I can't remember what anesthetic she used but I was concerned because he was still slowly struggling to get away and making weird noises but she assured me he wasn't feeling actual pain.

They really looked just like pale baby lima beans attached to a white string in the sink bowl, and when it was over I picked them up and held them at my ears like dangling earrings and said, "This would give guys nightmares forever."

*cackle*

Capri Sun Tzu
Oct 24, 2017

by Reene
Just lmao if you dont punish your balls on the reg

mind the walrus
Sep 22, 2006

i like that posted:

What happened?
Nothing. They were teenage girls posturing for w/e reason, I never cared to look into it.

Spinster posted:

Speaking of popping a testicle:

By best friend ever, Rita the horse freak, was a vet tech in her early twenties. We were occasionally in touch and when she learned I needed to neuter a new cat offered to do it for free. She did it at her work all the time and would just bring the supplies she needed home and save me some money.

I drove to her place with my new kitty and watched apprehensively as she doused his ball area with Betadine in her dirty bathroom sink. She took a little knife and made tiny slits. Then she squeezed really hard with her fingers and swear to god there was a "snap" sound as these little white lima beans popped out of each tiny ballsack.

I can't remember what anesthetic she used but I was concerned because he was still slowly struggling to get away and making weird noises but she assured me he wasn't feeling actual pain.

They really looked just like pale baby lima beans attached to a white string in the sink bowl, and when it was over I picked them up and held them at my ears like dangling earrings and said, "This would give guys nightmares forever."

*cackle*
Yeah I used to work for a vet and sat in on a lot of cat neuters. They were the best, tbh, because they were really quick and relatively painless. Truth on the little white lima beans.

AEMINAL
May 22, 2015

barf barf i am a dog, barf on your carpet, barf
cant wait until im old AF and my ballz gett dunked into the turlet bowl water each time i sit down

spinderella
Jul 15, 2017

by FactsAreUseless
Here ya go

Only registered members can see post attachments!

big nipples big life
May 12, 2014

Spinster always seemed so nice but it turns out she's a testicle hating lunatic.

Halser
Aug 24, 2016
don't knock it until you try it

mind the walrus
Sep 22, 2006

Spinster posted:

Here ya go


:krad:

unpleasantly turgid
Jul 6, 2016

u lightweights couldn't even feed my shadow ;*
these balls were made for fuckin SLAAAAAAAAMMIN

nextlevelstart
Feb 26, 2015
I'm going to poo poo out two intact testicles on the bathroom floor

goethe.cx
Apr 23, 2014


nextlevelstart posted:

I'm going to poo poo out two intact testicles on the bathroom floor

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Lol if you haven't upgraded to slammin that sack in your car door as hard as you can you beta bae

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poverty goat
Feb 15, 2004



On German toilets the gap is extra small so you can really show your balls who's boss while you admire your glorious uberturd on the altar

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