THIS SHIT IS BANANAS!

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > THIS SHIT IS BANANAS!

Jesus Christ: Jun 1, 2000; mods if you can make this my avatar I will gladly pay 10bux to the coffers

Bananas account for the most part the bulk of international shipping (via ship) and yes they must be refrigerated. The story is true about the United Fruit conglomerate. I lived in Costa Rica for a while. Now I live in Peru, Norther Peru where a very large amount of organic bananas are grown. What happened before in Central America is a long story and in the end it was justified, like it or not. Times have changed but controlling labor forces is a must and it is not so much about the money as it is about unscrupulous mafia types strong arming and taking over an international business. The world is not the USA and visa versa.

I bought non-organic bananas today grudgingly; 6 for $0.31 and I thought about what a rip-off the fruit business has become here (Peru) in the last few years. Bananas are basically weeds here and until recent they were 20, then 12 then 10 and now 6 for $0.31...rip-off. Now kids can not hardly eat them because the people, the consumer, has allowed the retail mafia to up the price on a weed. So who is behind this, the elected Congress-person.

The typical 40 pound box is sold here for export at about $7 for the fruit. It has to go through 15 different process and transported several times to get that bunch of bananas clean and to the Port. The refir container get shipped, docked, stored, transported to a warehouse, 1050 boxes of bananas unloaded, sorted, shipped to centralized warehouses and shipped to the final destination where they are stored until placed out for the retail public to grab and take home and do whatever with them. Sometimes a couple of steps are eliminated. The weeds/bananas are in a chain of events that increase their price from $0.17 a pound to +-$0.79 a pound today (Peru-2016). For a weed, that is not too bad.

These prices are for organic Certified "Williams" bananas in Peru. In Ecuador, our neighbor to the North, well the situation is like it was in Costa Rica and the organic bananas are about $3 for a box or $0.08 a pound but sell for the same price in the USA market. I just checked the USDA Market Report website for fruit. The prices are fixed because the bananas come from all points on the globe that have a semi to tropical climate...wherever weeds grow well. So that the USA public can have a banana, the world moves, literally, many aspects of the global economy, uhh, yes, the global economy. That means many more jobs then a few farmers cutting weeds. That is the truth behind bananas.

It is a very big business and it employs many people all over the World. So enjoy your banana and don't worry about the farmers, they know how to take care of themselves and NO ONE twists their arms to grow weeds and the bananas know how to grow and don't need much help from the farmers either. Everyone in the chain is pretty satisfied with their place and very pleased that people from just about everywhere are enjoying bananas or weeds, however you wish to look at it.

# ? Feb 10, 2018 11:39

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 26, 2024 14:35

jimmyjams: Jan 10, 2001; King Kong of Megadongs
Gobblin' them mega schlongs
Makin' sure they mega long
Stroke' 'em if they mega strong

fart

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Feb 10, 2018 11:43

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

What about the banana blight that is making Cavendish bananas extinct, OP?

# ? Feb 10, 2018 11:44

amusinginquiry: Nov 8, 2009; College Slice

Did you know that bananas used to actually taste like bananas? They were called the Gros Michel banana, but Harry Cavendish did a genocide in the entire strain, so we only have his lackluster bananas today.

# ? Feb 10, 2018 11:44

Benny Harvey: Nov 24, 2012

B-a-n-a-n-a-s

# ? Feb 10, 2018 12:06

shut up blegum: Dec 17, 2008; --->Plastic Lawn<---

I like how unripe bananas are picked and then shipped all over the world, riping in a container along the way. Then I'll buy them and throw them away after 2 days because they've gone brown.

# ? Feb 10, 2018 12:18

Nefarious 2.0: Apr 22, 2008; Offense is overrated anyway.

durrr burrr duhhh im gonna wake up and write a million words about bananas today

# ? Feb 10, 2018 14:12

Nefarious 2.0: Apr 22, 2008; Offense is overrated anyway.

suck my unwashed balls, op

# ? Feb 10, 2018 14:13

let it mellow: Jun 1, 2000; Dinosaur Gum

do u stick bananas in ur rear end? if so, I assume it�s better to do it unpeeled

# ? Feb 10, 2018 14:16

Nefarious 2.0: Apr 22, 2008; Offense is overrated anyway.

let it mellow posted:

do u stick bananas in ur rear end? if so, I assume it’s better to do it unpeeled

i can peel a banana with my rear end

# ? Feb 10, 2018 14:19

Blind Rasputin: Nov 25, 2002; Farewell, good Hunter. May you find your worth in the waking world.

I am a banana

# ? Feb 10, 2018 14:20

cnut: May 3, 2016

Ich bin ein banana.

# ? Feb 10, 2018 14:25

Papa Emeritus III: Jul 7, 2017; [A MESSAGE FROM THE CLERGY]

Dat's Pussy Trap, bitch!

_{_{Deal with it.}}

Bananananananana BATMAN

# ? Feb 10, 2018 14:28

zenguitarman: Apr 6, 2009; Come on, lemme see ya shake your tail feather

cnut posted:

Ich bin ein banana.

Bananas are expensive as hell in Germany, compared to the states.

Also what's the percentage of times stores find big rear end spiders in their crates of bananas?

# ? Feb 10, 2018 14:32

zenguitarman: Apr 6, 2009; Come on, lemme see ya shake your tail feather

https://youtu.be/wER564YB83M

# ? Feb 10, 2018 14:33

Nefarious 2.0: Apr 22, 2008; Offense is overrated anyway.

those black things in bananas are spider eggs

# ? Feb 10, 2018 14:34

aphid_licker: Jan 7, 2009

shut up blegum posted:

I like how unripe bananas are picked and then shipped all over the world, riping in a container along the way. Then I'll buy them and throw them away after 2 days because they've gone brown.

Make banana bread you gigantic turd

you loving retard

# ? Feb 10, 2018 14:39

Who What Now: Sep 10, 2006; by Azathoth

Bananas are proof God exists

# ? Feb 10, 2018 14:40

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

Jesus Christ posted:

Bananas account for the most part the bulk of international shipping (via ship) and yes they must be refrigerated. The story is true about the United Fruit conglomerate. I lived in Costa Rica for a while. Now I live in Peru, Norther Peru where a very large amount of organic bananas are grown. What happened before in Central America is a long story and in the end it was justified, like it or not. Times have changed but controlling labor forces is a must and it is not so much about the money as it is about unscrupulous mafia types strong arming and taking over an international business. The world is not the USA and visa versa.

I bought non-organic bananas today grudgingly; 6 for $0.31 and I thought about what a rip-off the fruit business has become here (Peru) in the last few years. Bananas are basically weeds here and until recent they were 20, then 12 then 10 and now 6 for $0.31...rip-off. Now kids can not hardly eat them because the people, the consumer, has allowed the retail mafia to up the price on a weed. So who is behind this, the elected Congress-person.

The typical 40 pound box is sold here for export at about $7 for the fruit. It has to go through 15 different process and transported several times to get that bunch of bananas clean and to the Port. The refir container get shipped, docked, stored, transported to a warehouse, 1050 boxes of bananas unloaded, sorted, shipped to centralized warehouses and shipped to the final destination where they are stored until placed out for the retail public to grab and take home and do whatever with them. Sometimes a couple of steps are eliminated. The weeds/bananas are in a chain of events that increase their price from $0.17 a pound to +-$0.79 a pound today (Peru-2016). For a weed, that is not too bad.

These prices are for organic Certified "Williams" bananas in Peru. In Ecuador, our neighbor to the North, well the situation is like it was in Costa Rica and the organic bananas are about $3 for a box or $0.08 a pound but sell for the same price in the USA market. I just checked the USDA Market Report website for fruit. The prices are fixed because the bananas come from all points on the globe that have a semi to tropical climate...wherever weeds grow well. So that the USA public can have a banana, the world moves, literally, many aspects of the global economy, uhh, yes, the global economy. That means many more jobs then a few farmers cutting weeds. That is the truth behind bananas.

It is a very big business and it employs many people all over the World. So enjoy your banana and don't worry about the farmers, they know how to take care of themselves and NO ONE twists their arms to grow weeds and the bananas know how to grow and don't need much help from the farmers either. Everyone in the chain is pretty satisfied with their place and very pleased that people from just about everywhere are enjoying bananas or weeds, however you wish to look at it.

Yo peep dis poo poo:

I'm gay in da USA.

# ? Feb 10, 2018 14:42

Haverchuck: May 6, 2005; the coolest

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44nDLsVeqbE

# ? Feb 10, 2018 14:45

amusinginquiry: Nov 8, 2009; College Slice

# ? Feb 10, 2018 14:49

Testikles: Feb 22, 2009

If bananas are a weed how come i ain't getting high on this poo poo?

# ? Feb 10, 2018 15:16

Nefarious 2.0: Apr 22, 2008; Offense is overrated anyway.

Testikles posted:

If bananas are a weed how come i ain't getting high on this poo poo?

you have to be gay

# ? Feb 10, 2018 15:18

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

Testikles posted:

If bananas are a weed how come i ain't getting high on this poo poo?

smoke the banana.

# ? Feb 10, 2018 15:19

Testikles: Feb 22, 2009

Nefarious 2.0 posted:

you have to be gay

But... I am?

# ? Feb 10, 2018 15:22

A Pack of Kobolds: Mar 23, 2007

Testikles posted:

If bananas are a weed how come i ain't getting high on this poo poo?

You should download AnarchistCookbook.txt for instructions on getting high on banana peels. Lots of good info in there, god bless

# ? Feb 10, 2018 15:30

Egbert Souse: Nov 6, 2008

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yModCU1OVHY

# ? Feb 10, 2018 15:45

Free Cheese: Sep 16, 2005; Come on, it's free; Buglord

amusinginquiry posted:

Did you know that bananas used to actually taste like bananas? They were called the Gros Michel banana, but Harry Cavendish did a genocide in the entire strain, so we only have his lackluster bananas today.

This is also the reason bananas are in trouble due to spreading blight- growing huge fields of the same crop is breeding ground for disease! Enjoy em while you can

# ? Feb 10, 2018 16:06

Solar Tornado: Aug 9, 2016; A true fool keeps on fighting, even when there is no more glory to be gained

Honestly found this interesting.
But the fact that the comments are just shitposts makes me just lol.

# ? Feb 10, 2018 16:09

BigBadSteve: Apr 29, 2009

Interesting post OP, don't mind the banana haters.

Here in Australia, bamanas sell for about 50c each in supermarkets, and $1-2 each in convenience stores.

So I'm guessing there's more than one banana billionare in the world.

Daylight come, and I wan' go home.

# ? Feb 10, 2018 16:35