F1 2018: Sir, this is a Burger King drive thru

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GramCracker: Oct 8, 2005; beauty by stroll

Current status:

BubbaGrace posted:

Fineeeeeeee

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpqhdOF-byU

Welcome to the 2018 World Championship of Formula 1. :toot:

Competitive state after the 2017 season

American media company, Liberty, has bought the rights to Formula 1�.they are planning to Americanize the series, so expect music during dramatic racing moments, WWE style entrances, and other American bullshit. This post brought to you by, POWERSLICE - feelin' hungry? Grab a slice.
Mercedes ends the season with another crushing victory over Ferrari
Lewis Hamilton is the reigning Driver God-Emperor of The Greatest Racing Series Of All-Time as we go into 2018.
Hulkenberg still unfulfilled in terms of his potential. Time is the fire in which we burn and he will be jumping out of the flames any year now to claim his own Champion Title.
Stroll is still poo poo, so what

What happened in the off season?

Williams retains noted binman Stroll and confirms that Russian Sergey Olegovich Sirotkin will be driving alongisde. Williams really want to stress that money didn�t play any factor in this decision at all.
Sauber is now partnered with Alfa Romeo, great to see a real Italian automotive brand in the sport for once.
Alonso is still the prettiest driver
All cars are now mandated to have a �Halo� safety device around the driver�s cockpit - the cars now look like sandals with wheels
Literally nothing else happened.

2018 Formula 1 Teams, in order of 2017 Championship results

Mercedes AMG Petronas Motorsport
The Silver Arrows are back as the 4x reigning champs, and the team to beat this year. Their car is still silver. They still have a black guy and a wet napkin piloting the cars.

Scuderia Ferrari
2017 saw The Scud bring a championship contending car to the season, however about half way through the season they blew it on dumb strategy calls and having a massive petulant child driving one of the cars. Can they seal the deal and bring a WCC back to Maranello this year? Your guess is as good as mine. (which is a nope)

Aston Martin Red Bull Racing
Formerly known as Red Bull Racing-TAG Heuer in 2017, this is the same cunty outfit but with a different title sponsor. Christian Horner still bitches and moans, and no one actually gives a gently caress. They employ a fetus and a smiley bogan to Go Fast.

Sahara Force India F1 Team
This is the team with the pink cars. They have two drivers who each seem to think they are #1 and usually provide for some interesting team conflicts.

Williams Martini Racing
Williams Martini Racing is the Official� direct deposit account of pay drivers - ROI in the form of a Formula 1 seat. Stroll is their current "veteran" and is being partnered with Russian Formula 1 rookie Sergey Sirotkin. Follow them for the lols as the driver they should have hired, Robert Kubica, sits on the sidelines as a Test/Reserve Driver.

Renault Sport Formula One Team
Now entering their 4th year as the factory backed Renault effort, this is the make or break year. Driving alongside LeMans winner Nico Hulkenberg is Carlos Sainz Jr., son of rally legend Carlos Sainz. With his shot at a factory backed team, this is surely to encourage him to drive his rear end off - but will this get some good drives out of Hulkenberg?

Red Bull Toro Rosso Honda
2018 sees Toro Rosso as the new guinea pig team for Honda. During shakedown and testing they swear there are no issues with the Honda power plant, but who are we kidding, it�s gonna be poo poo come Australia.

Haas F1 Team
America�s F1 Team, they are still thinking they can turn a profit racing in Formula 1. Drivers are still a smelly Frenchman and some caveman looking dude. They buy parts off Ferrari and �build� their own cars. Probably another yawner of a year for them.

~~McLaren F1 Team~~ Kimoa-Renault Formula One Team
The end of the 2017 season saw them switch engine suppliers from noted failures Honda to slightly less failures Renault. In this time, McLaren folded and is now known as Kimoa. Season looks to be promising as they retain the most gorgeous F1 driver ever, Fernando Alonso, and some bloke Strudel Vandoorne. Fernando is also now a 100% owner of Kimoa, formerly known as McLaren, and has Zak Brown permanently attached to his balls. With all these changes, could this be the year they finally see the top step of the podium again?

Alfa Romeo Sauber F1 Team
Previously Sauber-Ferrari, this new change in partnership will hopefully bring about a new dawn for the Sauber outfit and bring Formula 1 glory back to Italy, since Ferrari sure as poo poo can�t do it. Will this new partnership bring newfound performance and success to the Sauber team? Time will tell. Their car does look bad rear end though.

We're on a fairly active Discord so join us and shitpost constantly.

Discord: https://discord.gg/kg3d2Uu

GP Predictor
Want to guess how the races will pan out for magical internet points and bragging rights?

https://gppredictor.com/leagues/join/58d2cc69837ee9a30306b750

So c�mon in, sit down, and get ready for some good ol� fashioned shitposting to begin while we watch America show us how Formula 1 should be done.

Current Status:

Previous Threads
_{_{2017-18 Off-season | 2017 season |

2016-17 Off-season | 2016 season | 2015-16 Off-season | 2015 Part 1|2015 Part 2 | 2014-15 Off-season | 2014 season | 2013-14 Off-season | 2013 season | 2012-13 Off season | 2012 season

2011-12 Off-season | 2011 Part 1|2011 Breakaway (stop talking about phones!)|2011 Part 2 | 2010-2011 Off Season | 2010 Part 1|2010 Part 2 | 2009-2010 Off season

2009 News and Views|2009 Part 1|2009 Breakaway Thread|2009 Part 2 | 2008-2009 Off season | 2008 Part 1|2008 Part 2|2008 Part 3 | 2007-2008 Off season

2007 Part 1|2007 Part 2|2007 Part 3 | 2006 Part 1|2006 Part 2|2006 Part 3|2006 Part 4|2006 Part 5 | 2005 Whole Season | 2005 Part WTF | 2004 Whole Season}}

Somebody fucked around with this message at 00:38 on Sep 5, 2018

# ¿ Feb 28, 2018 18:19

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 22, 2024 04:26

GramCracker: Oct 8, 2005; beauty by stroll

Norns posted:

Formula 1 is bad

av/post combo checks out

# ¿ Feb 28, 2018 18:22

GramCracker: Oct 8, 2005; beauty by stroll

Tsaedje posted:

Are Fernando was the only driver good enough to set a lap time today

Phwoar. What did Are Kube do?

# ¿ Feb 28, 2018 18:31

GramCracker: Oct 8, 2005; beauty by stroll

Thanks Ants posted:

Ready for Kimoa Logitech Dell McLaren Renault Alonso to make me hard for F1 again, lads

# ¿ Feb 28, 2018 18:31

GramCracker: Oct 8, 2005; beauty by stroll

Human Grand Prix posted:

No. I must do this alone.

You're probably safe. I bet the forums wont be around for that to happen.

# ¿ Feb 28, 2018 19:19

GramCracker: Oct 8, 2005; beauty by stroll

1500quidporsche posted:

Wirth had a mental breakdown. That literally is the reason.

I thought it was wicka??

# ¿ Feb 28, 2018 20:52

GramCracker: Oct 8, 2005; beauty by stroll

The Kimoa Kid posted:

Counterpoint: what if they edit it so Nando wins the title in 2012

I�d literally run out of jiz

# ¿ Mar 1, 2018 19:23

GramCracker: Oct 8, 2005; beauty by stroll

The Kimoa Kid posted:

The Autosport trackside report said Fernando was �boner inducing.�

# ¿ Mar 1, 2018 22:18

GramCracker: Oct 8, 2005; beauty by stroll

DoctorGonzo posted:

Nigella Lawson is really pretty

Uhhh, no, not really. Turn your monitor.

# ¿ Mar 2, 2018 14:57

GramCracker: Oct 8, 2005; beauty by stroll

DoctorGonzo posted:

im not gay

You are, you're tifosi

# ¿ Mar 2, 2018 15:26

GramCracker: Oct 8, 2005; beauty by stroll

DoctorGonzo posted:

Welp im going to meet the ex today, Im a loving idiot.

This is a bad idea OP. It might suck right now without her, but in a few weeks you'll be feeling so much better.

# ¿ Mar 2, 2018 15:27

GramCracker: Oct 8, 2005; beauty by stroll

The Kimoa Kid posted:

Grid girls were nothing but F1's beards, literally all of us are gay.

I'm gay for Alonso, no doubt about that.

# ¿ Mar 2, 2018 16:34

GramCracker: Oct 8, 2005; beauty by stroll

DoctorGonzo posted:

so my boss just told me i need to finish a gently caress load of work today, work that i already send her but she took 2 months for medical reasons. i wont be seeing my ex today. destiny works in misterious ways

#forzaferrari

#forzacompleto

# ¿ Mar 2, 2018 19:22

GramCracker: Oct 8, 2005; beauty by stroll

Thanks Ants posted:

McLaren lads found the problem quickly and will ensure it doesn't happen during a race. It's our year boys.

My body is ready.

# ¿ Mar 2, 2018 20:07

GramCracker: Oct 8, 2005; beauty by stroll

The Kimoa Kid posted:

News: https://www.motorsport.com/f1/news/f1-commissions-musical-theme-from-hollywood-composer-1010946/

Views: https://youtu.be/V_h7Lm7C9Nk

gently caress yeah, I'm amped to watch some Formula 1�

# ¿ Mar 3, 2018 18:52

GramCracker: Oct 8, 2005; beauty by stroll

iospace posted:

Forgot about this one. Added to the list.

Give me a month if the season ends and Fernando Alonso has less WDC points than the WCC points of Toro Rosso-Honda or less WDC points than Stroll. :toxx:

# ¿ Mar 3, 2018 18:55

GramCracker: Oct 8, 2005; beauty by stroll

Thanks Ants posted:

So I can schedule my viewing to start on the hour, quickly rub one out over the beautiful Fernando Alonso and be ready for race start

# ¿ Mar 4, 2018 22:36

GramCracker: Oct 8, 2005; beauty by stroll

track day bro! posted:

McLaren are poo poo.

*in insanely DoctorCompleto voice* what the gently caress is this poo poo??

# ¿ Mar 5, 2018 18:07

GramCracker: Oct 8, 2005; beauty by stroll

The Kimoa Kid posted:

Espace stands for all the Extra Space we're gonna need on the McLaren hype train here in a few weeks

PHWOAR, CHOO CHOO BITCH!

# ¿ Mar 5, 2018 18:07

GramCracker: Oct 8, 2005; beauty by stroll

The Kimoa Kid posted:

Hell yeah baby, got that Size Zero brain

But enough about the Tifosi

# ¿ Mar 5, 2018 18:16

GramCracker: Oct 8, 2005; beauty by stroll

Dubs posted:

i nut for mclaren

same, op

# ¿ Mar 6, 2018 16:01

GramCracker: Oct 8, 2005; beauty by stroll

DoctorGonzo posted:

https://www.gpfans.com/en/articles/772/ferrari-issue-renewed-quit-threat-to-f1/

gently caress off Liberty

I wish someone would call Ferrari on it and see if they had the stones to actually do it.

"Okay, gently caress off then if you don't want to play by the rules. Oh, what's that? You're still here? Thought so."

# ¿ Mar 6, 2018 22:21

GramCracker: Oct 8, 2005; beauty by stroll

Norns posted:

McLaren is bad

# ¿ Mar 7, 2018 16:59

GramCracker: Oct 8, 2005; beauty by stroll

Theophany posted:

iospace! - if Alonso doesn't podium this year I will do a video dramatic reading of ~~a dumbshit post. The post in question should be voted on by worst thread regulars~~ the 2018 F1 season in review and I shall be wearing 2018 McLaren Papaya orange merchandise. Should I fail to fulfil this, ban me.

it should be a reading of the AIDS post

# ¿ Mar 8, 2018 00:15

GramCracker: Oct 8, 2005; beauty by stroll

learnincurve posted:

Good point. Last year�s league is still valid for this year and has 50 members . link to join is

https://gppredictor.com/leagues/join/58d2cc69837ee9a30306b750

Can we get this in the OP please?

Sure thing

# ¿ Mar 8, 2018 00:15

GramCracker: Oct 8, 2005; beauty by stroll

BubbaGrace posted:

Ban me if Alonso finishes the season higher in the WDC than Stoffel Vandoorne.

Good Christ dude, what are you going to do with all that spare time spent not poo poo posting

# ¿ Mar 8, 2018 04:51

GramCracker: Oct 8, 2005; beauty by stroll

McLaren is taking sandbagging to entirely new levels never seen before.

http://www.skysports.com/iframe/widget/video/RnczZtZTE6OmwJhxOeO8gYd1wBVkmUvY

GramCracker fucked around with this message at 15:28 on Mar 8, 2018

# ¿ Mar 8, 2018 15:25

GramCracker: Oct 8, 2005; beauty by stroll

The Kimoa Kid posted:

God I can't wait until the Honda starts blowing up again.

# ¿ Mar 8, 2018 16:45

GramCracker: Oct 8, 2005; beauty by stroll

Feels Villeneuve posted:

I don't think this is accurate.

turn your monitor

# ¿ Mar 8, 2018 20:02

GramCracker: Oct 8, 2005; beauty by stroll

lmbo Haas is going to place higher in the WCC than Ferrari

# ¿ Mar 8, 2018 20:24

GramCracker: Oct 8, 2005; beauty by stroll

tuo posted:

Counterpoint: cats are awesome.

GramCracker fucked around with this message at 14:46 on Mar 9, 2018

# ¿ Mar 9, 2018 14:42

GramCracker: Oct 8, 2005; beauty by stroll

Tsaedje posted:

birds are god tier

lc parachute account spotted

# ¿ Mar 9, 2018 14:58

GramCracker: Oct 8, 2005; beauty by stroll

Are Kubie is a top lad, letting their Stroll get some seat time.

https://www.motorsport.com/f1/news/kubica-sacrifices-final-day-of-testing-stroll-1012990/

Jokes aside, it seems like Kubica has a serious test driving contract that gives him a ton of seat time relative to other test drivers.

# ¿ Mar 9, 2018 15:55