Things you hid from your parents

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Things you hid from your parents

krampster2

When I was maybe 12 or so I wanted GTA San Andreas so bad (no stop it BYOB! I see you thinking about release dates and doing calculations) but I wasn't allowed because mum said it could turn me into a violent demon from the underworld. So I traded my friend like way too many frickin' games for it (dammit Jason, you knew I couldn't get it from a store) and then hid the disc where my School of Rock extras CD was supposed to go.

Then in the hour or so between me getting home from school and mum coming back from work I played it every day. Then when I could hear her walking up the stairs I had to quickly turn off my PS2 and so the TV would switch to whatever channel was being watched last, usually the news. So I would have to act really interested in it when she walked in and say something like: 'oh gosh mum, have you seen the S&P 500 is down 200 points today? How ever will Wall Street recover from this bearish trend!?' Then mum would ruffle my hair and call me her smart little boy.

# ? Mar 11, 2018 11:42

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# ? May 5, 2024 15:25

StandardVC10: This avatar now 50% more dark mode compliant

Their Christmas presents :shobon:

# ? Mar 11, 2018 17:12

Cubone: Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

suicidal ideation and gay porn

# ? Mar 11, 2018 21:15

Chasterson: by Nyc_Tattoo

Cubone posted:

suicidal ideation and gay porn

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Mar 11, 2018 21:19

Papa Was A Video Toaster

Butt stuff

# ? Mar 11, 2018 22:17

alnilam

my feelings

# ? Mar 12, 2018 00:09

alnilam

krampster2 posted:

So I would have to act really interested in it when she walked in and say something like: 'oh gosh mum, have you seen the S&P 500 is down 200 points today? How ever will Wall Street recover from this bearish trend!?' Then mum would ruffle my hair and call me her smart little boy.

also lol

# ? Mar 12, 2018 00:10

not ready

almost everything that I do for fun on the weekends.

# ? Mar 12, 2018 05:56

Miss Psychosis

My copies of the Communist Manifesto, the Anarchist Cookbook, Richard Scarry's Best Storybook Ever, Ore no Imōto ga Konnani Kawaii Wake ga Nai #1-12, On The Shoulders of Giants(I don't want them to think I'm a nerd), and finally, the Bible. I rebelled against them by becoming an athiest and I can't let them win by knowing that I have it bad for Jesus.

# ? Mar 12, 2018 11:22

Miss Psychosis

Oh I also hid my weed from them but they found out, you can read about that in my signature.

# ? Mar 12, 2018 11:25

Twenty Four

the bodies

# ? Mar 12, 2018 12:59

UWBW: Permanently banned from the Alamo

The Nintendo Wii came out near the end of my years in highschool and there were a few times I got grounded for doing dumb poo poo. My mother demanded that I hand over the Wii so I gave her the sensor bar and stated (truthfully) that it would not function without the bar because I couldn't select anything off the menu to play games, and I didn't feel like disconnecting the entire console (untruthful).

What she didn't know was that, by pressing down on some buttons on two other remotes, the IR Sensors inside them would mimic the sensor bar's IR lights. Thus, I just stuck two remotes on top of my tv, made sure the buttons remained firmly pressed down, and played video games. I did this many times and she never knew. I am the lowest of scum.

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig, and Koishi for the last one. TVsVeryOwn made the CyberMike.

# ? Mar 12, 2018 14:02

Darkman Fanpage

this avatar

# ? Mar 12, 2018 15:55

Koishi Komeiji

The antidote :twisted:

# ? Mar 12, 2018 19:37

FactsAreUseless

My parents still don't know about my twin.

# ? Mar 12, 2018 20:45

Kesshan

krampster2 posted:

When I was maybe 12 or so I wanted GTA San Andreas so bad (no stop it BYOB! I see you thinking about release dates and doing calculations) but I wasn't allowed because mum said it could turn me into a violent demon from the underworld. So I traded my friend like way too many frickin' games for it (dammit Jason, you knew I couldn't get it from a store) and then hid the disc where my School of Rock extras CD was supposed to go.

Then in the hour or so between me getting home from school and mum coming back from work I played it every day. Then when I could hear her walking up the stairs I had to quickly turn off my PS2 and so the TV would switch to whatever channel was being watched last, usually the news. So I would have to act really interested in it when she walked in and say something like: 'oh gosh mum, have you seen the S&P 500 is down 200 points today? How ever will Wall Street recover from this bearish trend!?' Then mum would ruffle my hair and call me her smart little boy.

I had to hide GTA:SA from my dad. My mom bought it for me when we were on vacation, but my dad hated the idea of violent games.

StandardVC10 posted:

Their Christmas presents

I do this even though they know most of what they're going to get from me.

# ? Mar 12, 2018 21:37

precision: by VideoGames

puberty

# ? Mar 12, 2018 21:41

ThatBasqueGuy: someone introduce jojo to lazyb

a gently caress

# ? Mar 12, 2018 22:07

Peanut Butler

in 1995 when I was a new teenager I got on the internet a lot when my parents weren't home (they co-owned a bar in the next town over)

in 1996 I got handed down the family 486 when they got a new computer but they put wood putty in the modem, right in the phone jack holes

I would wait until 1-2 hours after they had gone to sleep, after Conan and after the syndicated DS9 episode after Conan

maybe I'd play a little SNES if a bathroom recon mission turned up awake noises

in my closet I had a camping box full of junk that had a four-pin to RJ11 adapter I bought clandestinely at Radio Shack after school one day

I also had a 2' length of RJ11 (normal telephone with the narrow clippy end) wire in there

with a toothpick, I carefully picked out the dried putty and set the plug on the shelf right next to the computer case, ready to go back in before I went to sleep

then I plugged the adapter into the four-pin socket in the baseboard of the 1960s house I grew up in, connected the wire from world to modem

I had already clipped one of the speaker wires on the modem card so I was silent-running while either a) connecting to the local BBS, b) abusing AOL free trial codes, c) using juno when that was briefly a thing

Peanut Butler fucked around with this message at 10:23 on Mar 13, 2018

# ? Mar 13, 2018 10:19

funmanguy: What time is it?

alnilam posted:

my feelings

i hid this guys feelings fro my parents

# ? Mar 13, 2018 12:39

dogmother1776

back in 93 I played a character named Fat Mike Fitzgerald "the bargain king of Atlanta" in a local channel advertisement

# ? Mar 13, 2018 18:10

UWBW: Permanently banned from the Alamo

dogmother1776 posted:

back in 93 I played a character named Fat Mike Fitzgerald "the bargain king of Atlanta" in a local channel advertisement

Why would you hide this though?

# ? Mar 14, 2018 15:17

Jolo: ive been playing with magnuts tying to change the wold as we know it

My guess is that his mother is Deb "Queenie" Sweeney, "Thrift Queen of Georgia." "Only thing I cut more savagely than my prices are my competitor's fat stupid throats." - Queenie

~~~ byob summer 2020 ~~~ sig responsibly ~~~ i hope you enjoy my sig ~~~ please dont kangaroo jack what you cant kangaroo give back. ~~~

# ? Mar 14, 2018 16:31

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

I had GTA2 on the PC.
My dad told me to delete it, so i deleted the shortcut on the desktop. I still played it a bunch after that!

# ? Mar 14, 2018 19:29

Koishi Komeiji

canyoneer posted:

I had GTA2 on the PC.
My dad told me to delete it, so i deleted the shortcut on the desktop. I still played it a bunch after that!

The ol' delete the shortcut trick still works on most people in 2018.

# ? Mar 14, 2018 20:46

Matoi Ryuko

Koishi Komeiji posted:

The antidote

# ? Mar 14, 2018 20:58

blaise rascal: "Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke of Pearl...."

In high school, I asked my parents if I could buy that Persona game, the one where the kids commit suicide, and my parents said they didn't want it in the house. So I bought it and hid it in this old sculpture my brother made in art class.

I only played the game a few hours and then got bored with it, and sold it back.

A few years later, my dad asked me if I had heard of a game called "Persona."

"Yes," I said, "I actually played that game. You told me that I wasn't allowed, so I had to play it in secret."

"Oh, really?" said my dad. "I don't remember that. I've started playing it and I really like it."

Flash forward to now, when my dad has played nearly every game in the series from start to finish, and I have not touched them. This is a true story.

ty vanisher, ty khanstant

# ? Mar 14, 2018 22:30

Koishi Komeiji

blaise rascal posted:

In high school, I asked my parents if I could buy that Persona game, the one where the kids commit suicide, and my parents said they didn't want it in the house. So I bought it and hid it in this old sculpture my brother made in art class.

I only played the game a few hours and then got bored with it, and sold it back.

A few years later, my dad asked me if I had heard of a game called "Persona."

"Yes," I said, "I actually played that game. You told me that I wasn't allowed, so I had to play it in secret."

"Oh, really?" said my dad. "I don't remember that. I've started playing it and I really like it."

Flash forward to now, when my dad has played nearly every game in the series from start to finish, and I have not touched them. This is a true story.

Dad owns are the cruelest owns of them all.

# ? Mar 14, 2018 22:38

Johnny-on-the-Spot: That feeling when he opens
the door for you

My mom wouldn't let me buy a copy of "Conker's Bad Fur Day" so I gave the money to my brother to purchase it. I then used an exacto knife to cut off the "M" rating so no one would be the wiser.

# ? Mar 14, 2018 23:33

redm

FactsAreUseless posted:

My parents still don't know about my twin.

_{sig by Manifisto}

# ? Mar 14, 2018 23:58

wearing a lampshade

Through years of careful observation of people acting really stupidly in real life, confirming these findings online with others who have also observed people acting stupid, and witnessing the truth in the wachowskis first entry in their revelatory trilogy The Matrix, I realized that we are actually in The Matrix too, and to this day I can't bring myself to reveal this to them. To shatter the illusion would be too cruel, plus my dad actually seems to like the glitch that always refills the beer fridge every Sunday after they get back from grocery shopping.

# ? Mar 15, 2018 01:19

Robot Made of Meat

I grew up in The Olde Tymes, before video games, so all I had to hide from my parents was porn, my sexuality, and pretty much everything that made me . . me.

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

# ? Mar 15, 2018 01:55

Papa Was A Video Toaster

I still hide from my mom that I gently caress other dudes. She's queer too, I just would rather not discuss sex with my mom ever. There's also a fair bit of internalized homophobia; I doubt I would keep mum if I casually hooked up with a lady.

# ? Mar 15, 2018 02:20

Sepharo: EARTH! FIRE! WIND! WATER!

My parents think I'm 1337er than I am.

# ? Mar 15, 2018 08:12

TOOT BOOT

I just did what I wanted since my mom had completely checked out of parenting by then. I guess I wasn't very imaginative because all I ended up doing for the most part was the same poo poo everyone else does

# ? Mar 15, 2018 09:31

HotSoapyBeard: I'm a really cool nice dad
HAIKOOLIGAN

I once skipped a day of school because I hadn't done some A-level English Language coursework.

I played Mario 64 all day and drank a whole bottle of Sherry like I was Niles Crane or something.

Also, how haven't more people said "big bags of dank nugzzz"?

# ? Mar 16, 2018 00:27

420 SWAGLORD: saban bajramovic

I didn't have to hide nothing from my parents, op. They never looked

# ? Mar 16, 2018 01:16

Jedrick: There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high-powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Smoke weed every day.

I hid myself from my dad sometimes, in that I would disappear for a couple days at a time.

# ? Mar 16, 2018 01:43

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

my dad has a great sense of humor but is somewhat of a prude. during the 90's moral panic about how immoral and horrible the Simpsons was, my siblings and i had to conceal our Simpsons watching.

he had something of a green eggs and ham moment when he sat down and actually watched an episode and realized it was hilarious, so it became unbanned and we watched it together.

# ? Mar 16, 2018 03:01

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# ? May 5, 2024 15:25

Baller Ina: :whattheeucharist:

a jar of my own urine

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Mar 16, 2018 05:15

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Things you hid from your parents

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