Microsoft Windows Update

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Microsoft Windows Update

Solutions?
	Hit the computer with a hammer
	Install Ubuntu GNU/Linux the free operating system from norway
	Waluigi
	Get out and look at titties op

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limaCAT: Dec 22, 2007; il pistone e male; Slippery Tilde

Hey GBS what should I do to permanently disable Microsoft Windows Update?

# ? Mar 14, 2018 14:40

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# ? May 25, 2024 18:43

Knight: Dec 23, 2000; SPACE-A-HOLIC; Taco Defender

Disable all networking

# ? Mar 14, 2018 14:40

Loky11: Dec 12, 2006; Pull on the new flesh like borrowed gloves and burn your fingers once again

get rid of Windows and use linux

# ? Mar 14, 2018 14:41

Good soup!: Nov 2, 2010

uninstall and use WebTV instead

# ? Mar 14, 2018 14:43

Over There: Jun 28, 2013; by Azathoth

No Goku, voted 1

# ? Mar 14, 2018 14:43

Riot Bimbo: Dec 28, 2006

On windows 10 you can either use a wireless connection and set it as a metered connection or you can format the disk and install windows 7

# ? Mar 14, 2018 14:45

limaCAT: Dec 22, 2007; il pistone e male; Slippery Tilde

Over There posted:

No Goku, voted 1

Waluigi once had a fusion with Goku, as depicted in the Dragonball vs Smash Bros crossover comic that debuted at comiket09

# ? Mar 14, 2018 14:45

hitchensgoespop: Oct 22, 2008

I'm not sure mate, sorry

# ? Mar 14, 2018 14:46

limaCAT: Dec 22, 2007; il pistone e male; Slippery Tilde

hitchensgoespop posted:

I'm not sure mate, sorry

No problem, man.

# ? Mar 14, 2018 14:47

Skeleton Ape: Dec 21, 2008

I would recommend Windows For Workgroups 3.11, op

# ? Mar 14, 2018 14:49

GABA ghoul: Oct 29, 2011

I use doors

# ? Mar 14, 2018 14:54

crabcakes dogg: Aug 8, 2017; by Fluffdaddy

You shouldn't, OP. Updates are good.

# ? Mar 14, 2018 15:02

Chumbawumba4ever97: Dec 31, 2000; by Fluffdaddy

limaCAT posted:

Hey GBS what should I do to permanently disable Microsoft Windows Update?

I posted this in the MAME cabinet thread I made because gently caress that intrusive piece of poo poo from interrupting Marble Madness

do the group policy method, but after that you also have to do this (and it's not well documented)

open a command prompt and type this:

code:

cd /d "%Windir%\System32"
takeown /F MusNotification.exe
icacls MusNotification.exe /deny Everyone:(X)
takeown /F MusNotificationUx.exe
icacls MusNotificationUx.exe /deny Everyone:(X)
rem

If you don't every couple of days you will get a pop-up like this that takes up your entire screen:

# ? Mar 14, 2018 15:09

Dignity Van Houten: Jul 28, 2006; abcdefghijk
ELLAMENNO-P

The last windows update to patch the Spectre exploit broke some business critical software so the official company policy is to apply a patch rolling back the update :lol:

# ? Mar 14, 2018 15:11

jimmyjams: Jan 10, 2001; King Kong of Megadongs
Gobblin' them mega schlongs
Makin' sure they mega long
Stroke' 'em if they mega strong

update yuor computor otharwise u will have HaX0rS like jeffk rooting yuor computar systems!!!!!!!!!!!

# ? Mar 14, 2018 15:21

BigBadSteve: Apr 29, 2009

Just never go online, then it can't update. This will also shield your un-security-patched system from exploits.

# ? Mar 14, 2018 15:23

Mozi: Apr 4, 2004; Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die; Nap Ghost

i chose not to install updates last night and put my computer to sleep, this morning it had restarted and my programs were all closed. thank you microsoft for making me feel secure in computing!

# ? Mar 14, 2018 15:23

crabcakes dogg: Aug 8, 2017; by Fluffdaddy

Mozi posted:

i chose not to install updates last night and put my computer to sleep, this morning it had restarted and my programs were all closed. thank you microsoft for making me feel secure in computing!

You can open Task Scheduler and Disable the Reboot task at \Microsoft\Windows\UpdateOrchestrator. You'll have to remember to reboot your machine manually though. Disabling updates is probably a bad idea and will more than likely leave you with a broken system eventually.

# ? Mar 14, 2018 15:36

Mozi: Apr 4, 2004; Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die; Nap Ghost

yeah i appreciate the necessity for installing the occasional security update, i would just prefer that either it's not noticeable that it was installed (i.e. no restart needed), or that i approved it manually

thanks for the tip tho

# ? Mar 14, 2018 15:38

big nipples big life: May 12, 2014

do the titties thing OP.

# ? Mar 14, 2018 15:39

Extra Large Marge: Jan 21, 2004; Fun Shoe

Disconnect your computer from the internet and keep it in the NOC list room from "Mission Impossible".

# ? Mar 14, 2018 15:40

bradzilla: Oct 15, 2004

Shove the computer up your rear end, op

# ? Mar 14, 2018 15:44

Halser: Aug 24, 2016

You must first
Invent the Universe

# ? Mar 14, 2018 15:52

Alpha Mayo: Jan 15, 2007; hi how are you?
there was this racist piece of shit in your av so I fixed it
you're welcome
pay it forward~

That's what you get for "upgrading" to windows 10. I'm still on Windows 98SE, the only decent OS Microsoft has ever made.

# ? Mar 14, 2018 15:52

Emmideer: Oct 20, 2011; Lovely night, no?; Grimey Drawer

Linux?

# ? Mar 14, 2018 16:00

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

I can't get off unless Windows is updating in front of me.

The 1703 feature update for Win10 bugged out so that i had to the install the fucker three times. I almost died of wanking that day.

# ? Mar 14, 2018 16:43

That Robot: Sep 16, 2004; ask me anything about robots; Buglord

Enjoy your security holes op

# ? Mar 14, 2018 16:44

Moon Atari: Dec 26, 2010

The last update killed my desktop in a way that seems irreversible. It freezes if I do anything more intensive than play a movie. Pausing the movie or fiddling with the settings is also too much for it to handle.

# ? Mar 14, 2018 16:47

Putty: Mar 21, 2013; HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

I have good faith that Waluigi can fix your computer

# ? Mar 14, 2018 16:49

Moon Atari: Dec 26, 2010

Waluigi helps no man but Waluigi.

# ? Mar 14, 2018 17:03

Professor Cthulhu: Jul 14, 2007; I got my Associate degree at Miskatonic Community College.

update your loving computer OP

# ? Mar 14, 2018 17:06

Jesustheastronaut!: Mar 9, 2014; Lipstick Apathy

Turn off your monitor that should help

# ? Mar 14, 2018 17:36

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

If you have to ask, it's for everyone's benefit to force updates upon you, for herd immunity

Retards who disable updates are the anti-vaxxers of the world wide web

# ? Mar 14, 2018 17:38

Chumbawumba4ever97: Dec 31, 2000; by Fluffdaddy

Moon Atari posted:

The last update killed my desktop in a way that seems irreversible. It freezes if I do anything more intensive than play a movie. Pausing the movie or fiddling with the settings is also too much for it to handle.

The last update literally forced processors to run slower

# ? Mar 14, 2018 17:41

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

Uncle at Nintendo posted:

The last update literally forced processors to run slower

Nobody is actually experiencing a significant slowdown from this except for very specific database/compilation type workloads, and most people in those lines of work are smart enough to know that disabling updates is not an option

# ? Mar 14, 2018 17:44

limaCAT: Dec 22, 2007; il pistone e male; Slippery Tilde

Stay safe poverty goat.

# ? Mar 14, 2018 17:46

GABA ghoul: Oct 29, 2011

Uncle at Nintendo posted:

The last update literally forced processors to run slower

Your computer is gonna be even slower once it catches some crap and starts mining stimpycoins in some botnet in the background

# ? Mar 14, 2018 17:48

limaCAT: Dec 22, 2007; il pistone e male; Slippery Tilde

Actually I would like for my work laptop (it's my own pc) to not update itself during lunchtime when I am away or not to update itself when it's resting in my knapsack at night (and I don't want to put and remove the battery either...).

A few months ago Windows Update at least did the courtesy to tell me "oh hey I have this important update that you can install today or in a few days". And I could decide to update it on saturdays at home when I can do some maintenance without Bill Brother watching me.

# ? Mar 14, 2018 17:54

Chumbawumba4ever97: Dec 31, 2000; by Fluffdaddy

Raspberry Jam It In Me posted:

Your computer is gonna be even slower once it catches some crap and starts mining stimpycoins in some botnet in the background

Good luck doing that on a MAME cabinet that barely connects to the internet once a month and is not even on for 23.5 hours a day :smug:

# ? Mar 14, 2018 17:55

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# ? May 25, 2024 18:43

Hell Yeah: Dec 25, 2012

gather your computer, monitor, and speakers in your arms and jump out a third story window with everything still plugged in.

# ? Mar 14, 2018 18:03

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