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Nekomimi-Maiden
Feb 27, 2011

I'm here to help you.
Rule number one, don't get me killed.
They won their rebellion, so it's currently a cold war - they hold those two systems, and if the Imperium declares rivalry they're stuck where they are [rivalry closes borders, their two systems are 'landlocked'].

They're very likely to look to claim and expand outwards through the Empire, though; Democratic Crusaders are a *very* warlike AI personality, and the Empire being a slave-holding, authoritarian Empire pisses them right the hell off, to say nothing of that -100 opinion penalty that's wearing off over the next 50 years.

I have the feeling Kayten won't close their borders, though, so they might look to claim ungrabbed nearby systems like Xarmaton and Rantor or further outwards.

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Iunnrais
Jul 25, 2007

It's gaelic.
I would be interested in hearing what the religious population of The Solar Empire thinks about losing access to The Sun. Is there a sect that worships all stars, not just The Sun? Is there a push to reclaim Sol? What do the orthodox priests say about the matter?

Kayten
Jan 10, 2012

The tiniest of Tims!
Update 1.2.2 - Crassus

Diary of Pema Yeshe, Cadet 1st class
December 12th, 2281 - Procyon Fleet Academy

First day of boot camp today. I've been assigned to Cadet Wing Theta with all the other newbloods. I knew I wasn't the only one who signed up after seeing those monsters round up and execute children on Earth. It's going to be a rough few months. I hear half the cadets wash out.

Won't be me. I'll be the best drat pilot this academy has ever seen.

My groupmates seem nice enough, if a bit... simple. Mostly boys from Grinstead or Broadleaf with too much brawn, and not enough brain. I got to know them a little during dinner. They're all hurting. Kitchener's got some cousins on Earth, Domkratov's ex moved to Treadstone a few months ago. No one's heard anything from them.


I told them not to worry. We'll get those bastards yet. Glory to the Empress! Glory to the Empire!

Article Draft - Themba Bhele (ed. N. Raptis)
January 7th, 2282 - New Kabul, Faunus

Two months ago, we lost our previous (Stress the people's love for the past emperor - ed.) beloved Sun Emperor in a fight against the Barde rebellion (It wasn't a fight, it was an unprovoked attack on a sovereign - ed.) brutal massacre in Kabul, Earth. After the traditional two months of sanctioned Zunbil killing (Too many details - ed.) Zunbil elections, Valentina the First (Dress up the name - ed.) of the Faunus Zunbils has been crowned Sun Empress. Praise the Sun! (After every mention of an imperial achievement - ed.)


The Sun Empress' (We're stressing the "Sun" aspect. Orders from above - ed.) first official act was purely symbolic: (Watch it, Themba - ed.) to rename Faunus, the third planet orbiting Alpha Centauri, to "New Earth". (Put something here about the indomitable strength of the Solar spirit - ed.).

Needs another draft. Stress the Sun as much as you can, and watch yourself when speaking about Zunbils. I am not joking, Themba. On my desk in two hours.
-Raptis



Journal of Mikhailo Sobakevich
May 19th, 2287 - Dogbone Farmstead, Abbassus

Nastasya said I should journal. Good for my health. Put emotions on paper. Love that woman. Hate her methods.

I am Mikhailo Sobakevich. Sergeant, Abbassus 14th Colonial Garrison. Retired. Bodyguard for rich kids. Retired. Farmer now.

Had visit from Jack Trinity today. Old client. Says he joined a new party. Asked questions about Bardes I know. Am I hiding Barde escapees?

This is Abbassus. What Bardes? Too much time on Trinity's hands. Needs a better hobby.


Trinity brags a lot. Says his father's well-connected. Knows about some Barde army. Nonsense. Why use Bardes? It's a Mahafez job.

After bragging, Trinity bought my apples. Gene-modded, six harvests a year. Paid very well. Complained about his class C rations. Left.

Today I felt: irritated
Things I did well: not punch Trinity
I am thankful for: Trinity left


Diary of Pema Yeshe, Pilot 1st Class
September 23rd, 2287 - Procyon Fleet Academy

Graduation ceremony today. I made it. Best scores in Cadet Wing Theta. Didn't beat any Academy records, but still pretty drat good. Who's the crying little girl now, Kitchener?

We got our assignments last week, so we're taking off in the morning. I've been assigned to HSS Trojan, a Sea Witch-class destroyer, to serve as co-pilot. Getting right in there, and shooting down missiles. I was born for this job.

As proper pilots, we've been approved for class B rations. Finally. I'm sick of eating class C gruel. Plus the rations are bigger.

I noticed transport ships docked alongside the fleet. I think it's finally happening. Good. It's time we took our homeworld back. For the Empire!


Article Draft - Themba Bhele (ed. N. Raptis)
July 2nd, 2288 - Grand Shipyards

War! For the first time in almost three hundred years, the Solar Empire prepares for all-out war. (This is NOT a war. This is a police action - ed.) Our brave boys in blue have set off! The Free Human League refused our attempts at negotiation, (There is no "Free Human League", only planets temporary under rebel occupation - ed.) The Bardes have refused to return to work, and thus the Solar Empire has sent Strike Force Medusa to pacify the central worlds.


Under the leadership of the talented admiral Wang (Wang? Really? Ten billion Mahafez, and they couldn't they find a man to take command of the fleet? This makes us look like liberals, drat it. I hate it when they refuse to cooperate - ed.), Strike Force Medusa has taken off towards the League capital of Oceanus (Don't use Barde names - ed.) occupied planet Treadway to liberate it from League occupation. Admiral Wang has promised to use all means at her disposal to take our planets back! Praise the Sun!

From now on, nothing you write will use the word "League". This is a police action to restore peace on Solar planets, not a war. If we were at war, that would imply that the throne recognizes the existence of the interplanetary government of the Free Human League. Are you going to be the one shot for putting those words into the Empress' mouth, or am I? You have two hours. Fix your poo poo, Themba.
-Raptis



Diary of Pema Yeshe, Pilot 3rd Class
July 15th, 2288 - Barnard's Star System, League Space

Field promotion today. Pilot 3rd Class Jensen flew too close to Barnard's Star station, got us hit with League railguns. Cut right through our cockpit. The air was sucked out within two seconds, so I was holding my breath, watching Jensen's brain float into space a few cubic centimeters at a time. Eventually, the engineering team re-pressurized the cockpit. I think I vomited, but I can't really be sure, it's all a blur. I'm now the only pilot on the HSS Trojan.


We're in position over Treadway, though. I hope Domkratov's ex finds a shelter. From what I heard, she's a total bitch, but I don't want to have innocent blood on my hands.

Half of Treadway didn't do anything. We're here to liberate occupied subjects, not rain hellfire on them.


It's going to be tough, though. The rebels have a shitload of armies stationed throughout the islands. A little bit of laser and railgun fire should get them to surrender.

Home by Unconquered Sun Day.


Diary of Pema Yeshe, Pilot 3rd Class
March 1st, 2293 - Treadway Orbit, League Space

Five years today. Five years of sitting in orbit, pointing our guns at anything larger than a motorbike and glassing it. Every day. Ship alarm at 05:00, class B rations. Three hours of lasers burning human targets. Three hours of railguns cutting through farms. Class B rations. One hour of personal time while the engineering team reloads the guns. Three hours of lasers. Three hours of railguns.

There is a hostile atmosphere on the bridge. The captain offered extra rations to the gunner with the highest number of confirmed kills every day. One gunner refused to "run up a high score of corpses of women and children" and was pushed out the airlock for insubordination. Extra rations were canceled.

I can't sleep half the time. Why do I keep seeing Jensen's stupid loving face in my sleep?

If this goes on for much longer, I'm going to shoot the captain myself.


Diary of Pema Yeshe, Pilot 3rd Class
April 10th, 2293 - Treadway Orbit, League Space

Bombardment ended today. We are to go into lower orbit and cover the army approach. They're fighting in rubble at this point.

I heard that instead of using Mahafez, the Butcher is throwing slaves in old drop-pods.

I don't care anymore. I hope they all kill each other.


Article Draft - Themba Bhele (ed. N. Raptis)
April 12th, 2293 - Treadway, Occupied League Space

Solar Army triumphant on Treadway! After five years of savage bombardment (The Solar Empire does not conduct "savage" bombardments - ed.) concentrated strikes by Strike Force Medusa, the rebel defences have been weakened enough for general Zhivenkova (Another woman? Are there any men left in the whole loving fleet? How am I supposed to sell this to the Sun Priests? - ed.) to land the Janissary armies at key locations throughout the planet. As you know, the Janissaries are Bardes monitored by the new generation of moderation chips. Let's give a round of applause to the Bardes that know their place, and celebrate such loyalty to the Empire! (You're really pushing this, Themba -ed.)


The death toll has been catastrophic. Over ten billion people, both Bardes and occupied subjects, have perished from the bombardment and subsequent famine. No building larger than a shed remains standing on the whole planet. All of Treadway's infrastructure has been destroyed. It will take decades to rebuild (Be honest, Themba. Do you seriously see me clearing this for print? Drop your sentimentality towards cowards and traitors - ed.)

Fix the second half. When subhuman garbage gets destroyed on this scale, even law-abiding subjects start asking questions. Ten million dead from the whole bombardment. The famine was started by Barde inability to organize and coordinate infrastructure. Add something about Bardes trying to eat raw kelp.

If you don't stop writing treasonous articles, I will be forced to pass them along to the censors. This is your last warning, Themba. Fix it in three hours.
-Raptis



Journal of Mikhailo Sobakevich
October 5th, 2293 - Dogbone Farmstead, Abbassus

Trinity showed up again. Brought some friends. Had to hide kids in the cellar.

Fucker asked me for my apples. Politely. Said he ain't got no cash though. Told him to stand in line. Enter the lottery. Maybe win some class D rations. Like everyone else.

Told me he ain't like everyone else. He's special. Because his daddy is special. And his party is special. So he'll get my apples. On credit.

Told him to go gently caress himself. He didn't take it kindly. His friend tried for the cellar.


He didn't make it. Hard to run with broken knees.

Things got bloody. Five dead. two injured. Trinity broke my left arm. With a pipe. I caved his skull in. Ungrateful bastard.

Last two dragged their friends. Things getting real bad. They ain't getting buried.

I hope Trinity Sr. is smart.

Today I felt: angry
Things I did well: killed scum
I am thankful for: kids still alive


Diary of Pema Yeshe, Pilot 3rd Class
November 6th, 2294 - Earth Orbit, League Space

Began Earth bombardment today. Ten billion dead on Treadway. Zun knows how many will die on Earth. Five billion starved throughout the Empire.

For what?


Article Draft - Themba Bhele (ed. N. Raptis)
January 12th, 2295 - Qeb Daraan System, Neutral Space

The Exploratory Fleet continues its mission in distant systems! Today, Exploratory Fleet vessel HSS Torch under the command of Sun Priest Olga Kuzina (Turns out Priest Kuzina had some really unfortunate connections to the Bardes before the rebellion. Doesn't look very good to print such fine news about a traitor, does it? -ed.) Merritt Bridges has uncovered the mystery of the gentle space travellers found in Qeb Daraan. The Tiyanki, as they've been designated by the Sun Priest Council, are peaceful messengers of Zun's wife, Andair, who gave birth to the planets.


This revelation comes to us shortly after the discovery of a small moon in a system near Grinstead that once supported a civilization. Unfortunately, these primitives have destroyed their world in nuclear fire before reaching space. The savages have not even began launching space probes before annihilating themselves. The Exploratory Fleet estimates that these primitives killed themselves six thousand years ago.

Look at you, minimal corrections! You're improving, Themba. Welcome to the good guys' team.
-Raptis



Diary of Pema Yeshe, Pilot 3rd Class
February 13th, 2295 - Earth Orbit, League Space

We won the war today. No negotiations, no official surrender. The purges are still running on Earth. Every last member of the Free Human League is to be rounded up and shot.

I hope some make it. So that I can sleep.


I can't do this anymore. I did my duty. I served my country. It didn't loving deserve it.

I put in my transfer to the Exploratory Fleet. I hope I get to the other side of the galaxy and never see Solar space again.


Journal of Mikhailo Sobakevich
February 22nd, 2295 - Dogbone Farmstead, Abbassus

Heard the war ended. Good. Maybe no more food problems?

Trinity's dad visited today. Says he understands. Says his son was a poo poo. Says all is forgiven.


Says I gotta sell him Dogbone. Whole thing - orchard, greenhouse, everything. Asked him what kids will eat.

He says not his problem. Sell farm and we're even.

Told him to go gently caress himself. He got angry, like his kid. Said I'll regret it.


We'll see.

Today I felt: scared
Things I did well: stood ground
I am thankful for: time I've spent with my family


Article Draft - Themba Bhele (ed. N. Raptis)
February 24th, 2295 - New Kabul, New Earth

Sun Empress Valentina I reorganizes colonial administration. Today, citing concerns over quelling slave rebellions in distant colonies (Leave the editorializing to me - ed.) our resplendent Sun Empress has announced the creation of vassal territories. The tropical colonies are to be organized into the Grand Duchy of Earn, and granted to former Bazargan community leader from Abbassus, Vladimir Salazar and his heirs and successors.


The administration of the distant worlds that were settled pre-war (There was no war. There was a police action -ed.) in the 2260s has also been reorganized. St. Hossack has been designated the capital of the Zulei Cro County and granted to Henrietta Mountbatten, a prominent Mahafez Diet member. Schimmel's World is now the capital of the Hagawa County, under the management of Abed Salman, an old favourite of the Empress (Please don't spread unfounded rumours - ed.) a valuable member of the Sun Priest Council. Meredith Bay has been named the capital of the Unatra County, and given in perpetuity to Wu Zhu, a retired general.


Thus, with the burden on the Imperial Bureaucracy significantly lessened, we stand ready to conquer more stars. Praise the Sun!

You're slipping into sedition again, Themba. If I see one more questionable choice of words, I'm declaring you a traitor to the state. Fix your article. You have one hour.
-Raptis



Journal of Mikhailo Sobakevich
February 26th, 2295 - Dogbone Farmstead, Abbassus

gently caress. Trinity came with soldiers. Hungry Colonial Garrison boys. Said my farm is foreclosed. All legal.

Said I ain't giving him poo poo. Got shot for my trouble. Propped up against a rock. Facing my loving house.


Soldiers barred doors from outside. Heard Nastasya scream from the house. Trinity took the first torch.

Some colonial boys protested. Their leader, sergeant Markov, shot one. Firefight broke out. I crawled to a body, took his pistol.

Four dead. Three standing, plus Trinity. He went back to the house. With a torch.


Eight dead. Can't drink skills away.

Saw the kids. Came out the cellar. Mykola kept Tanya safe. Good boy. Told them to get their mother.

Lost too much blood. Wanted to finish journaling. Prove I tried. To myself.

Nastasya, you were my everything. Mykola, watch your sister. You'll be a good man. I am very proud.

Tanya. You're too good for this world. Too precious. Guard yourself.

I love you all.

Today I felt: tired
Things I did well: protected fa
I am thankful for:


Diary of Pema Yeshe, Pilot 3rd Class
July 27th, 2302 - New Zun, Gaia

Got my transfer today. I'm shipping out on the HSS Wayfarer. First ship to be built on the new capital world, Gaia.

Zun drat, it's perfect. It'd be the most wonderful world in the galaxy, if it didn't have the loving Zunbils on it.


But I'm done with this. New generation of science ship. Thirty year exploratory mission.

I'm going to die as far away from this loving country as physically possible


Resignation Letter - Themba Bhele
March 16th, 2320 - St. Hossack, Zulei Cro County

Dear Chief Editor Raptis,

gently caress you, gently caress your network, and gently caress your bosses. I quit.


For decades, you have done nothing but lie to the people of the Solar Empire.


May your shuttle burn on re-entry. Praise the Sun!

Kayten
Jan 10, 2012

The tiniest of Tims!
Sudden Ascension Perk Vote

Alright, thread, let's get some of your input on the direction of this shitshow. The Solar Empire has reached new heights in four areas of expertise. Which of the four should the The Solar Empire pursue?


A. Large-scale Project Construction. The Solars are builders!
This option will set the Solar Empire on the path to build increasingly large and general space-born installations. Habitats to provide additional living space, gateways for instantaneous travel, even Dyson Spheres and Ring Worlds.


B. The Psionic Potential. The Human Mind is the pinnacle of Zun's creation!
This choice will turn Humans into a race with psionic potential. By focusing all their efforts on this, the Solars will be able to field telekinetic troops, prolong the life of important leaders, and eventually communicate with the unknown using the combined psychic force of billions of Human minds.


C. Mechanization. With no intelligent life in the galaxy, the Solars will build their own!
This direction will harness all of our research into the creation and improvement of artificial intelligence. We will be able to build much better robots, and even replace increasingly larger parts of the Human body with electronics.


D. Forced Evolution. True power lies within every living creature!
This decision will lead the Solars to implement genetic engineering on an unprecedented scale. We will make Humans faster, smarter, more docile. We will have specialized human species who can live in the worst deserts and under the coldest ice.

:siren:Voting is now open!:siren:

Freudian
Mar 23, 2011

As I see it, there are three blasphemies here.

The first, to leave behind good soil and hide away in metal cans, which is to reject the gifts of Andair, mother of planets.

The second, to give over to witchcraft and consort with demons of shade and darkness.

The third (and most insidious of all), to implant chips into every human, treating us all as if we were common Bardes. We were caste-born for a reason.

Therefore the only answer is to pursue D - Forced Evolution. We must strive to reach genetic harmony with the worlds Zun has granted us, and become the most perfect creatures in devotion to Him.

Freudian fucked around with this message at 13:27 on Apr 17, 2018

AweStriker
Oct 6, 2014

Option A seems most in-character for them.

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007

SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?
Yam Slacker
Brains!

KazigluBey
Oct 30, 2011

boner

Freudian posted:

As I see it, there are three blasphemies here.

The first, to leave behind good soil and hide away in metal cans, which is to reject the gifts of Andair, mother of planets.

The second, to give over to witchcraft and consort with demons of shade and darkness.

The third (and most insidious of all), to implant chips into every human, treating us all as if we were common Bardes. We were caste-born for a reason.

Therefore the only answer is to pursue D - Forced Evolution. We must strive to reach genetic harmony with the worlds Zun has granted us, and become the most perfect creatures in devotion to Him.

This. Voting for D.

sheep-dodger
Feb 21, 2013

Freudian posted:

As I see it, there are three blasphemies here.

The first, to leave behind good soil and hide away in metal cans, which is to reject the gifts of Andair, mother of planets.

The second, to give over to witchcraft and consort with demons of shade and darkness.

The third (and most insidious of all), to implant chips into every human, treating us all as if we were common Bardes. We were caste-born for a reason.

Therefore the only answer is to pursue D - Forced Evolution. We must strive to reach genetic harmony with the worlds Zun has granted us, and become the most perfect creatures in devotion to Him.

This guy knows what's up!

GunnerJ
Aug 1, 2005

Do you think this is funny?
Which option's most likely to result in the Zunbils losing again?

Edit: In seriousness, D probably fits best.

GunnerJ fucked around with this message at 15:20 on Apr 17, 2018

Average Lettuce
Oct 22, 2012


D!

ThatBasqueGuy
Feb 14, 2013

someone introduce jojo to lazyb


A

How can you say it's heresy to leave behind the soil, when we will simply be extending our reach beyond it? Can it truly be heresy to yearn for a closer embrace with the Sun?

Jossar
Apr 2, 2018

Current status: Angry about subs :argh:
B

Obviously we must pick the option that results in us being able to bask in the wisdom of the beloved Sun Empress for an even longer period of time!

sullat
Jan 9, 2012
B; the priests of the sun can learn to communicate with the divine

mcclay
Jul 8, 2013

Oh dear oh gosh oh darn
Soiled Meat
D

scavy131
Dec 21, 2017
A Let all of space be a realm for our reaching closer to the Sun!

Anticheese
Feb 13, 2008

$60,000,000 sexbot
:rodimus:

B. Praise Zun and the mysteries of the human mind!

Flamester
Dec 30, 2012
B

Time to become gods.

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises
D, we can change each caste to be in its proper place. We will no longer need the slave chips.

Lynneth
Sep 13, 2011
B.

Zun be praised forevermore.

thetruegentleman
Feb 5, 2011

You call that potato a Trump avatar?

THIS is a Trump Avatar!
B: as if anyone would pass up the chance to talk to Zun himself, or prove that the religious leaders really are special.

General Revil
Sep 30, 2014

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
A. We can always repurpose a colony into an oversized kinetic strike weapon for future pacification missions.

Mr_Autoshades
Dec 5, 2016
A If Sci Fi taught me anything dumping a stupid amount of resources into the Massive Planet-scale objects have only ever gone well for galaxy-spanning tyrannical empires.

Tenebrais
Sep 2, 2011

A. You're not a proper evil empire until you're building colossal battle stations The true glory of the Sun can only be adequately respected through the absolute limits of human engineering.

LaserShark
Oct 17, 2007

It's over, idiot. You're gonna die here and now, and the last words out of your mouth will have been 'poop train.'
B. Praise the Zun!

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

Soon, the regional governors will have direct control over their territories. Fear will keep the local systems in line. Fear of our battle stations. A

Kayten
Jan 10, 2012

The tiniest of Tims!
Not a single vote for cybernetics. Commander Zhang is rolling in her automated grave.

Surprise Pizza
Mar 21, 2010
A. To show our devotion to the sun(s), we will embrace them - with Dyson Spheres and Ring Worlds!

(Or: If you liked it, then you should have put a ring world on it).

Nekomimi-Maiden
Feb 27, 2011

I'm here to help you.
Rule number one, don't get me killed.
I personally think that Cybernetics and associated development of a robotic Barde caste will lead to remarkable advancements in altering the Bardes to be more compliant and permitting humanity rapid conquest of future worlds!

The consequences should be minor if anything.

Nekomimi-Maiden fucked around with this message at 22:00 on Apr 17, 2018

Danny Glands
Jan 26, 2013

Possible thermal failure (CPU on fire?)
C

Soon we will be free from these prisons of flesh and bone.

Chatrapati
Nov 6, 2012

Pyroi posted:

D, we can change each caste to be in its proper place. We will no longer need the slave chips.

Yeah. Each caste could be given benefits to suit their station! Zunbils could be given longer life, while the Bardes are given more loyalty or something?

D

Technowolf
Nov 4, 2009




C

All glory to the Omnissiah Zun!

The Bold Kobold
Aug 11, 2014

Bold to the point of certain death.
Option B

It's only considered witchcraft when it's done against the will of Zun! Used properly, it can be used for the light!

ShootaBoy
Jan 6, 2010

Anime is Bad.
Except for Pokemon, Valkyria Chronicles and 100% OJ.

A. In space, we are closer to the most holy light of Zun, so it is clearly the correct choice.

Sinner Sandwich
Oct 13, 2012
B, this can only end one way. You all know what it is.

Aeromancia
Jul 23, 2013
A, that way we can get even closer to the Sun.

racerabbit
Sep 8, 2011

"HI, I WANT TO HUG PINS NUTS."
:frolf:
Well, that ended about as well as one might expect. Xar was right the whole time.

sheep-dodger
Feb 21, 2013

It's awful, but the thing most appealing to the Zun empire should be D, so they can genetically engineer the castes to match their purpose.

Kayten
Jan 10, 2012

The tiniest of Tims!

AltaBrown posted:

Well, that ended about as well as one might expect. Xar was right the whole time.

ZunLP: Imagine a boot stamping on a human face, forever

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Hiveminded
Aug 26, 2014
D
You can't have a properly monstrous dystopia without control over every gene of every citizen of every caste.

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