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ok so sometimes you discover these little tricks that help you through your day. each one a mini epiphany that changes how you life your life. you live your life every day until you die, so these little tricks known as life hacks can be very profound. let's share them with each other. brush your teeth in the shower if you're anything like me you shower often. every day without fail. sometimes twice. but dental hygiene maintenance seems to be less of a priority. with your toothbrush and toothpaste in your shower caddy or burlap sack near the well or rain barrel or whatever you brush your teeth every time you shower because why not you're just chilling there. a win win. storing leftover sushi in ziplock bags if you get take out or doggy bag sushi it's usually in lovely takeoutcontainers. Store like this, the sushi turns into garbage in seconds. the avocados become black and putrescent. the eel comes back to life. an airtight polyethylene sac preserves the sushi for weeks to come. burning styrofoam for warmth styrofoam is not biodegradable and difficult to recycle. heating bills can become astronomically high thanks to obama. this solution speaks for itself. masturbate while driving in this modern world spare time is hard to come by. with the day to day lifestyle and the hustle and bustle it is difficult to find time for yourself. the average american spends an hour a day commuting to work. that's 1/24th of the day. a lot of time. you can utilize some of that time stuck listening to talk radio in rush hour traffic enjoying yourself and masturbating on the road. this works great if rush limbaugh turns you on but it might be hard if you drive stick but if your'e gay or a woman and can multitask this may be more of an advantage than anything become completely unscrupulous in regards to the rule of law sell drugs. run girls out of your basement. convert your basement to an illegal gambling den / human trafficking port. don't feel above killing someone for twenty grand cash. you will find that one you free yourself from the confines of the legal smeagal bullshit you will be well on your way to personal success. both financial and spiritual
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Apr 22, 2018 04:50
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well there are some pretty smart fellas here on this here forum on the internet there. lets crack our skulls together in an epileptic fit and get some lifehacks going
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Apr 22, 2018 04:56
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kill your parents and you can eat all the candy you want
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Apr 22, 2018 04:57
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Never clean your car Who gives a poo poo, and in the event of nuclear armageddon all that crap will come in handy for sure.
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Apr 22, 2018 04:59
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EugeneJ posted:kill your parents this is good i can go to bed whenever i want
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Apr 22, 2018 04:59
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Spinster posted:Never clean your car oh i don't sister. when society degrades we will utilize commodities as alternative forms of currency i have enough tobacco from cigar butts and jewelry from dead hookers to buy myself a poo poo ton of non irradiated water
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Apr 22, 2018 05:02
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End your life ASAP Living is suffering. Ending your life now can spare you the pain of existing.
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Apr 22, 2018 05:06
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Be a white male and you can do whatever the gently caress you want in life.
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Apr 22, 2018 05:08
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This trick works by playing on the human females natural body chemistry and is extremely simple but does require a little bit of work. First, you'll need to work out a bit of a sweat. Chop lumber, go for a run or shoot some hoops. Heres why: when you first break a sweat your body releases a pheromone that is very seductive to women. Now, you just drag your pointer and ring fingers over your taint to capture some of the moisture (the pheremone is released in the sweat gland near your genitials) and wipe it across your brow. Once you get a bit of experience you can sniff out the chemicals you are looking for. Once this is done, you'll be naturally more attractive to the opposite sex, guaranteed!
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Apr 22, 2018 05:09
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Shats Basoon posted:This trick works by playing on the human females natural body chemistry and is extremely simple but does require a little bit of work. First, you'll need to work out a bit of a sweat. Chop lumber, go for a run or shoot some hoops. Heres why: when you first break a sweat your body releases a pheromone that is very seductive to women. Now, you just drag your pointer and ring fingers over your taint to capture some of the moisture (the pheremone is released in the sweat gland near your genitials) and wipe it across your brow. Once you get a bit of experience you can sniff out the chemicals you are looking for. Once this is done, you'll be naturally more attractive to the opposite sex, guaranteed! Or just boil your cum then rub it all over your face
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Apr 22, 2018 05:10
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bradzilla posted:Or just boil your cum then rub it all over your face Yes this one works even better but I figure that mechanism requires a little more experience
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Apr 22, 2018 05:11
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Piss works also
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Apr 22, 2018 05:12
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You've been eating cereal wrong! Why use a bowl? Dogs eat from bowls! Now my pretties, just open the box. Open the bag, and pour your unsweetened cashew milk inside the bag and go to town. Spoons aren't long enough. I recommend a ladle.
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Apr 22, 2018 05:14
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if you want somebody's cum and he won't gently caress you, wait until he fucks somebody else and steal the condom. now you've got his cum
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Apr 22, 2018 05:18
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accuse your crab rangoons of racism
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Apr 22, 2018 05:19
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Become a sovereign citizen
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Apr 22, 2018 05:19
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BONE DOG posted:masturbate while driving this is a good trick
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Apr 22, 2018 05:20
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Chop firewood for a good workout, and also firewood
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Apr 22, 2018 05:20
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Need to whip up a dessert in a hurry? Dump a bag of oreos on the floor and eat the oreos off of the floor like a animal you piece of poo poo
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Apr 22, 2018 05:22
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Download porn to your phone if you're going on vacation where you won't have cell service. 
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Apr 22, 2018 05:24
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Have a private bathroom at work? Jackoff in that bathroom at least once to establish dominance.
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Apr 22, 2018 05:26
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bradzilla posted:Have a private bathroom at work? Jackoff in that bathroom at least once to establish dominance. The cool thing about this hack, is you can it for any bathroom.
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Apr 22, 2018 05:39
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I mean, really anywere you can reach your dick, frankly.
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Apr 22, 2018 05:39
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Fart a lot.
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Apr 22, 2018 05:48
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Never shower or change your clothes Most people can't smell the difference. If they could, they would say something right?
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Apr 22, 2018 05:51
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-don't wash your clothes, this makes the colors fade. simply put it in the freezer for a few days to remove any unpleasant scents! -olive oil makes a functional lube substitute -you don't need to trim your fingernails, if you wait long enough they'll just break off on something anyway. -dispose of the skulls of your fallen enemies in a "mund" of some sort -always bring up your hobbies on a first date ("forums") to see if you have similar interests -you only need one pair of clothes for work if you live alone, going skyclad is free! -always always hail satan
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Apr 22, 2018 06:15
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Ponies Ist Krieg posted:-olive oil makes a functional lube substitute can confirm
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Apr 22, 2018 06:18
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Spinster posted:Never clean your car my sister dumped a load of some tj's corn snack in the like well to the right of the passenger seat. never cleaned it because: a) can't see it, forget about it b) i always ask people "HEY WANT A SNACK" and then motion for the car corn, always gets a laugh
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Apr 22, 2018 06:22
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appropriatemetaphor posted:car corn 
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Apr 22, 2018 06:24
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eat five McChickens rapid-fire in-front of your coworkers to establish dominance
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Apr 22, 2018 06:33
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Kill rich white people. Doesn't matter how, or where, or when. Just kill them.
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Apr 22, 2018 06:34
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Dr.Smasher posted:Kill rich white people. White genocide is real. The alt-right was right all along.
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Apr 22, 2018 06:38
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The Dennis System posted:White genocide is real. The alt-right was right all along. I'm just saying that, as a lower middle class white person, we should rise up and coldly murder rich white people. Burn the Hamptons to the loving ground.
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Apr 22, 2018 06:41
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Here's a great way to save time in the morning. Cut a hole through the seat and the bottom of your car and you can take a dump on your way to work
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Apr 22, 2018 06:42
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Eat the booty.
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Apr 22, 2018 06:47
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myDad posted:can confirm the olive oil thing is a real one, lol. and when it was tried out of desperation I found out afterwards that it was her roommates olive oil
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Apr 22, 2018 06:48
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Use sandpaper as lube Superglue is a contraceptive If you want a cheap fleshlight just buy a wheel of cheese If you need to poo poo and can't find a bathroom just ask someone if they want to trade pants and underpants. When they do just poo poo their pants and trade back.
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Apr 22, 2018 07:37
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Those little plastic caps on top of milk jugs and 2 liter soda bottles can be placed back on top of the container after you open it the first time, helping the liquid to stay fresh for longer
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Apr 22, 2018 07:44
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Ponies Ist Krieg posted:the olive oil thing is a real one, lol. classic mistake- never try to put olive oil you just used as lube back in the bottle
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Apr 22, 2018 07:45
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If you're ever hard up for a humorous life hack, make a joke about the Konami Code and laugh about how absurd it would be if a videogame cheat code could work in real life and make you immune to the harsh memories of childhood traumas.
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Apr 22, 2018 08:00
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